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  • Good Idea-shame It Is Needed

    I have just discovered this site and told my story but this seems an ideal forum for my little rant.



    This is a wonderful site with lot's of supportive and freindly chaps and chappesses but what a shame that it is so sorely needed. Why do these people think they are so special.



    Our tormentor seems to think he can insult my wife (Sleeping around) me (Being sexually inadequate.) My children (Likewise sleeping around.) and our freinds. Yet you suggest anyone like him is less than perfect in any area and it's slander of the worst kind. Similarly he is allowed to do anything he wishes (Loud music, abuse, late night raves, spurious assault claims and we are supposed to ignore it. If you involve the police it is deemed to be 'Grassing' This may have more to do with his illegal activities than our behaviour.



    Similarly the local children who assault our door with anything from animal dung to wheelie bins also think they are the victims in this. The long term attempt to make children more confident backfires in those kids who already feel they are perfrect and able to break any law with impunity. The law gives us nothing to fight back with but toothless and useless legal papers. We have been so tempted to slap these kids as we were slapped but this is assault and is frowned upon even with your own kids. My children are not slapped regularly or even often but they do get a slap when they deserve it and they have grown up reasonably civilised people.



    The problem is that the latter (The kids) are rapidly becoming the former (NFH). There seem to be a few generations who grow from anti social kids to anti social adults with no logic circuits at all. Take the sentence 'I have cut the fuel pipe on your car (This did happen to a freind.) but you will be grassing if you inform the police. There is no logic here at all, just pure selfishness and self aggrandisement. Who thinks like this-we all know the answer to this- The NFH.



    I suppose there is no answer here. The laws put in place to protect the majority of kids are used by the animals who indulge in anti social behaviour to justify their actions and protect them from retaliation. In a few years time they will grow up (Physically.) but still have the mental toolkit of theanimal they were.



    Where will this end? Who knows? Read 'A clockwork orange.' You may like me, think that this could be a fairly accurate picture of the future.

  • #2
    Welcome Phil and Caz, like you say, in one sense it's a shame we exist at all, for the purposes of helping support, inform and empower people with NFH. Yet if laws, legislation and mechanisms in place were more effective in dealing with NFH and NFH related (anti-social, criminally-related, bullying, harassment, etc) problems, sufferers and victims of NFH would get the justice and relief they need far more quickly.



    Sadly, until legislation is changed to meet the Human Rights of the victims (not the NFH!) we are a long way off. I look forward to the day where we can all swiftly and effectively deal with an NFH - and can fully use our rights to enjoy our own homes properly, rather than have to suffer, fight back or move away from an NFH.



    You've described a typical NFH - the personality traits, in some cases psychological profiles, attitudes, personal/social skills (or lack of!) and general self centered, selfish, arrogant, bullying behaviour belongs to many, many, NFH. With many NFH, they consciously or unconsciously attempt to draw attention to their victims to shed off any unwanted attention or observations of their own inept, pathetic, bullying and socially unnaceptable behaviour(s). This way, the NFH also don't need to consider their own actions (?) and the moral implications of these by perhaps gaining a 'superior' and false sense of authority and standing over the victims of their NFH behaviour.



    For all the NFH stories I have personally read and the great people I've met on our forum, I am always surprised by new NFH situations and stories, even though sometimes they are similar to each other. Of course your NFH situation will have its unique parts too.



    And that's the thing with NFH situations. Looking around the forum at the many thousands of posts about members and their NFH, you'll see comparisons with your own NFH situation and what's happening and you'll be able to relate to others through this, which is a real strength of coming together here. So you are unique in what you're suffering, even though it may be similar to others. Your situation, however bad it may be on a general relative scale is still bad for you. That's why we always say don't compare yourself by thinking "my NFH is nowhere near as bad as that one".



    If it's bad for you and a problem, then it's a problem full stop NFH deserve zero tolerance - they gave up their rights when they knowingly, deliberately and wilfully behaved in a manner as an NFH. Being assaulted, and yes, it's a strong word and we're not just talking physical assault here, by an NFH and their behaviour/actions is an unwanted assault. Whether that's a mental or physical assault it affects our lives holistically and intrudes into our personal, physical, emotional, work and home lives - sadly, it isn't treated for the crime it really is and in my opinion victims of NFH should be entitled to the same support and help as any other victim of a serious/major crime (e.g. mugging, physical assault etc).



    None of us deserve to live with an NFH or have asked for it and it's a basic human right to go about our business and live with the peace and quiet, harassment and trouble free home lives we do deserve.



    NFH don't have a conscience a lot of the time, whether a personal one or a social one - if they did they wouldn't act in the way they do, trying to literally destroy people's lives. A lot of NFH persist even though they really do know and understand the impact it has on sufferers. To understand (or try to anyway!) an NFH's mind to a certain extent re-assures us all that we are not the cause of the NFH problem and gives us an insight (albeit an unwelcome and unwanted glimpse!) into the minds of people that are often literally a law to themselves.



    Some of us do give up trying to understand the actions of (our) NFH - as you can quite literally tie yourself up in knots over it! It gets complicated and draining to carry on logically thinking when you're a law-abiding, decent human being and to understand and put reasons to NFH actions and (because quite often there aren't any justified reasons) why NFH behave in the way they do.



    Sorry to ramble on Just remember you're never alone with the plight of NFH on this board and while we can all help you, you can help us too with your experiences and ideas



    Hope you come back often too

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Phil'n Caz



      What a state of affairs!! Matthew has hit so many nails on the head that I can't think of anything else to say right now that would not be repetitive!!



      Keep us posted, and take care



      Sapphy

      Comment


      • #4
        Welcome!!



        You will find this site very good...



        Yes, I know the abuse..I live on my own and I am regularly called a s*****r and that I am sick in the head!!! It wears you down!!!!



        It is disgraceful that people can GET AWAY with it which is why instead of being a wallflower I am gonna fight this!!!





        I have already approached Richard and Judy and Trisha so watch this space!



        witsend









        :nfh1: :nfh1: :nfh1: :nfh1: :nfh1: :nfh1: :nfh1:

        Comment


        • #5
          Where will this end? Who knows? Read 'A clockwork orange.' You may like me, think that this could be a fairly accurate picture of the future.


          I remember going to watch the film in the early 70's and the shock at the opening scenes. I thought things like that couldn't happen, but they have happened! Watching it nowadays it would look dated and pretty tame compared to what is going on in the real world.



          As far as books are concerned I think 'Lord of Flies' demonstrates exactly what happens when kids are in charge. There may be adults around in the real world but they've been cowed by legislation and bleeding-heart-liberal propaganda not to do anything that might upset kids with the result that they might as well not be there.



          Kids know all about their rights but nothing about responsibilities. They can display all sorts of antisocial behaviour and be fairly sure nobody will do anything to stop them. So they grow up totally egocentric and don't give a fig about anybody else. Of course there are the exceptions and for these we must be truly grateful.



          Misty
          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

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