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  • Nynfh


    didnt sleep very well last night.

    neighbour in cursed house decided to play some music last night.

    ok, not too bad but it could be heard and every now and then the volume went up a tad then back down,

    theres me telling Matthew to ignore it, and as it was only 10pm it was ok, and in relation to last nfh it was very respectful.

    and then at 11pm, well I am sure he'll turn it off soon,

    and at that still on?

    at 1am....cartoon network on in bed to drown out (very faint) thud..but I could still hear it

    1:50am it was turned off.

    now I know that we hate all noise due to what we went through before, and maybe someone else would not have heard it at all, maybe we are totally over reacting.

    now he is a nice fella, and it is so rare that we hear his music at night, or even in the evening for that matter.

    so what do we do?

    do we have a word with him.....risk him being nasty and going through the nfh situation all over again? which I couldn't cope with

    do I leave it and hope for the best?

    or do I go through the kids next door? get them to pass the message on to dad?.....yeah I am a chicken!

    I really do think we were both over reacting.......reassure me please!!

    we want to be moving from here in the next 2 years so dont want a complaint on the house

    oh well, not really like me to have a noise problem

    I am sure it will sort itself out in the wash.

  • #2
    Just to add my thoughts here too: It's a debatable one this I have to admit - the guy seems pretty decent in all other respects and I was only commenting to Beth the other week about how quiet it had got! That's what makes this so odd, for about 2 weeks absolutely nothing (why am I complaining I hear you ask?!) then that last night, it's very strange.

    I even said to Beth, maybe he's found the NFH site and thought !

    We don't know him extensively well and with like all situations there's a possibility in degenerating this one further from a minor problem - although I have no problem whatsoever in tackling this with him if needs be and especially if it happens again/regularly.

    Compared to NFH Couple no. 1 and NFH Couple no. 2 ('Bubble and Squeak') we lived with for 5 years, this is relatively very tiny in comparison indeed.

    Be good to get some objective opinions though that's for sure


    • #3
      If you can hear the music, then I would say something. I can't sleep sometimes if I hear a car bass system thudding in the distance. It irritates me. There's no need to be worried about it if you think he's a decent chap. He may not even know he's making a noise. If you hear just a faint thud in a terraced house then the chances are it's at normal listening volume in his. It being late and quiet also tends to amplify the noise. I can hear my neighbour's telly when he's just watching it. I can here murmuring from his living room if he has guests and I know that my stereo can be heard in his house even when it's at an acceptable level to me because we've tried it. I have my bass boost turned off so, to me, it sounds just like ordinary music. Mick doesn't hear the tune but can hear the bass which seems to magically transmit itself into a low thud, thud into next door. There's nothing you can do about bass which, unfortunately, seems to travel well through walls.

      I would pop round and say hello and then just mention it and I bet he'll be fine. Might even give you a chance to get to know him better which would be a great boost.

      I really, really hope this doesn't get any worse for you after your past experiences.



      • #4
        thanks Jeanie!

        I guess it is normal living noises as we can hear alot of some sounds, they have to be at the right pitch.

        it was just a bit disapointing to hear it so late last night.

        we dont want to make trouble and I am tempted just to leave it.

        he has been there almost a year so far and we havent had any real problems, compared to the last two he has been a breathe of fresh air.

        the house he is in has never looked so nice (although he has a broken window at the moment!)

        its the first time in 8 years the haouse has had net curtains and in he is in process of sorting the jungle garden, in fact his kids did a great job of weeding!

        so all in all hes not too bad!

        I will see how it goes!

        I had forgotton how hard it is to think about approaching people,

        Its advice I give all the time....time to practice what I preach!!


        • #5
          I'm with April and Badger on this one. If it's a one off then I think it better to let it go. If it happens again then maybe a quiet word wouldn't go amiss.

          From what you say he's been pretty quiet so far, maybe it was his birthday or something. Having gone through NFH problems you're probably still sensitive to noise. I know I will be for a while after next-door's antics.

          Was it the music you could hear or the bass? I HATE BASS. It messes up my heart rhythmn and makes me feel like I'm having palpatations If it does happen again and it's the bass that's bothering you maybe you could suggest that he just turns down the blasted bass.

          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


          • #6
            thanks guys!

            I knew you would help me put it back into perspective!

            feeling more awake now and better about the music thing.


            • #7
              It's always the 50/50 - 'If I mention it will they take umbrage and let it niggle away at them till something else pushes them into thinking - I'll do what I want in my own house thank you' - then they ******* well WILL be a pain in the bum or do you keep stum and hope it's a one of or a twice yearly, or if you do nothing will they think you don't mind and not care too much about doing it again???? Sad to hear this from the guys who set up the site.

              I have no words of wisdom or advice - yet again. Except to weigh up what you know of him as a person so far, what's the chances of him taking it badly? Also, as it might just be a birthday, but common sense says if you're having a bash to say to mention it to the folk next door... If they had, you wouldn't be feeling this way I bet?

              Yep, maybe best to treat this as a one off and go from there.


              • #8
                Thanks everyone, very useful advice there

                I think too, that was a rare occasion and it shouldn't be often repeated, like Badger says he may have made a mistake too. We have no real cause for complaint with anything over the course of the last year he's been there and certainly don't want to aggravate a situation out of nothing (as Spinks says too with the retaliation etc).

                I am pretty sensitive to noise still, even now - it serves as a stark reminder how NFH affect you in the longer term of things. I'll be ultimately happy living in a semi-isolated neighbourhood with no attached neighbours, which will happen at the end of next year hopefully

                Your neighbours though Badger, were definitely unreasonable if complaining about 'normal living' noises - we have to remind ourselves sometimes what is more likely to be 'normal' and not excessive (admittedly it is a relative issue for most).

                Beth and I often check with our neighbours whether they feel we are making too much noise (or from our Dog), I think it's the curteous, polite thing to do and it encourages good will and easier communication.

                Spinks - agreed, if people plan noisy events (e.g. parties) and know beforehand, they should *always* inform their neighbours and apologise in advance just in case. It shows willingness and politeness and people are much less likely to be bothered by any disturbance as they know it's a planned, non-regular event. When we had major roof work and ceiling/plastering work we warned them all in advance - it worked and we bought both neighbours flowers afterwards, they were embarassed that we'd done that, but I think it was an investment in good future neighbourly relations.

                If only people had a little more respect for each other eh, it often only takes a few minutes of forethought and it's not rocket-science


                • #9

                  What an awful thing to happen. I can fully empathise with your situation as if you're anything like me, you'll be wondering if it is a one-off or going to be a regular occurence.

                  Of course, you need to write down this occurence so that if it happens again you can mention it to your neighbour!

                  I would be tempted to let this one go and just monitor the situation. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

                  It is very difficult when you've become sensitive to noise, as the slightest thing can really aggravate you. For example, our nfh has kept the music down, but continues to bound up and down the stairs - why can't they do things quietly? But I know that my reaction to that behaviour is enhanced because of the past history between us.

                  Starting the ball rolling with complaints is a slippery slope as many of us know. It can completely ruin the relationship between you and your neighbour. I'm not saying don't complain, I'm saying monitor it and complain if and when the situation gets out of hand. We are now at the point where we are not talking to the nfh, avoiding them, trying desperately to ignore them and avoid them intimidating us. It doesn't make for a happy home life.

                  Just monitor the situation and try to carry on living your life as "normal" as possible.