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My mum got mugged!

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  • My mum got mugged!

    My mother was attacked on her way home from work yesterday.

    As you can imagine, I'm somewhat displeased.

    The police have been very supportive to ma, and have caught the culprits. Custodial sentences expected.

    Anyone here know of a good way of not getting angry when there's nowt you can actually do at the time? I'd be most grateful for any advice. I'm sure it can't be healthy for me to picture myself cleav.. .

    I'll leave it at that

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • #2
    Your poor mum. How awful. Is she okay? Physically I mean. I expect that, psychologically, she's devastated and you are as well. It's horrible thinking that your mum, the person you love, has been put through something so mindless for the sake of a few pounds. Be there for your Mum. Keep reminded her that these attacks are not personal and that it was just a case of her being in the wrong place at the wrong time (probably broad daylight in a busy street knowing todays lowlife).

    On the positive side, at least they caught the b******s and you think they'll be put away. At least your mum will see justice of some sort which, in itself, can be a huge compensation when you've been violated in this way. So many thugs just get away with it.

    Hope your mum (and you) recover from this. Use the weekend to do something special together.


    • #3
      Hi Homer,

      I'm so sorry to learn that I really hope your Mum is OK - mugging is an awful crime, very 'personal' and very disturbing, is she OK?

      Glad they were caught though, must be a horrid experience for all of you. Is she getting any help from Victim Support or similar etc? I hear they're very good (never experienced the services myself).

      My elder brother was mugged in broad daylight in the middle of London years back, by 6 guys - the Police weren't even interested, they said there was no way they could even hope to begin to trace them, so didn't even want the initial report. No one even tried to intervene apparantely either. He gave them what they wanted, they went (one of them had a knife) - best thing to do, give them his wallet etc.

      What's the world coming to??


      • #4
        That's got a name, Matthew, I can't remember what it is though. It's something like "Bystander Apathy" or similar where someone or sometimes a whole group of people will fail to do anything to help because they just don't want to get involved. It was highlighted in a case where a young woman was raped on a train (in NewYork I think) and NOBODY intervened at all. No-one wanted to get involved as everyone's always thinking weeks ahead and what will happen if they have to go to Court, give statements etc and the possible repurcussions on them. There was a program on telly about it, Horizon I think. It's easier not to get involved in the first place. Not easy on the victim though of course. Just makes you more aware that you should never under-estimate this behaviour in our fellow man and, sadly, the criminals know it too.


        • #5
          Thanks for the replies. Ma's bruised bit physically and her adrenalin's gone a bit askew, but is doing ok really.

          (Just edited this post, sorry, but may be wise)

          We shudder what could've happened but for good Samaritan & policeman.

          Ma's coming to us for the weekend. I'm feeling calmer, thanks.

          Sorry to hear about your brother Matthew. Apparently able - bodied young men are statistically more at risk, and suffer from this lack of sympathy that makes it all the worse.


          • #6
            Grr, messed up with my last post!

            I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum, HF I hope she's recovering and that you mollycoddle her while she's with you

            I know that feeling of frustrated rage after my son was mugged a few weeks ago.

            It was highlighted in a case where a young woman was raped on a train (in NewYork I think) and NOBODY intervened at all[/b]

            That was the Kitty Genovese case, Jeannie. She was raped and murdered in Queens, NY when she was coming home from work at 3am. 38 people didn't just see it happen, they actually watched it happen. Only one person called the police and then only after consulting a friend in another part of the city. Everybody else thought somebody else would call the police. And yes, it is called bystander apathy.

            I once saw a young lad, around 12 years old, being battered by a much bigger lad of about 15. It was horrific and there were people all around just watching! I'm afraid I couldn't, I ran over, screeching obscenities at the thug and he ran off. It wasn't til afterwards that it occured to me that he could have turned on me. Mind you I was a lot bigger than the little kid he was kicking in the head!!

            "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


            • #7
              Please give my regards to your Mum, i think she is more in shock than anything really, give her lots of hugs and cuddles too.


              • #8

                Dreadful, just totally uncalled for. I suppose I would be right in saying that your mums money even though it was only £4.00 would have gone to fund a drugs habit no doubt !

                I think it is a very natural thing to be so angry after what has hapened. It is a natural instinct within all of us to feel that groundswell of anger, so don't think you are being an idiot for it - your are not !

                Just try and focus on your mum and getting her through this and the satisfaction that the police have got them for this crime. You will have the greastest satisfaction when they are sentenced for what they have done.

                I think Matthew mentioned Victim Support - so, do try and use that resource and of course us if you need to rant off.

                Other than that not much more I can offer you other than to say stay safe and keep a cool head. Give it a few days and these feelings WILL pass over. I think the initial shock and then disbelief and anger is the normal standard stages of something like this. These feelings will subside though and hopefully by about Tuesday or Wednesday of next week you should be feeling a lot more steady in yourself. I have found that this works for me and I hope that it will be the same for you to.


                • #9
                  hey homer,

                  hope your mums on the mend now. please send her our thoughts.

                  if the police were invloved and you were given a crime number victim support should automatically contact your mum, it wouldnt hurt to contact them if your mum feels the need to have a chat about how she is feeling after the attack, as far as I know they do offer a mininum conselling service


                  here is the victim support link.


                  • #10
                    Hi Homer,

                    Can I just add my absolute disgust and revulsion at what happened to your mother!.

                    I do sincerely hope that she recovers soon not only physically but also mentally .

                    I too also hope that the little b******s get exactly what they deserve!!

                    "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"

                    apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan

                    Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!


                    • #11
                      Thanks for your replies all, it means a lot.

                      The police sent along VS stuff, I think it's automatic, but my mum was quite touched.

                      As it's turned out, she's quite upbeat about it, considering. She's very good at dismissing unwanted thought. It may sound strange but we feel she was lucky (I mean, how many people get set upon when there's a panda car not far behind them?). She managed to fall so as not to break any bones. Her defiance saved the loss of her bag - not much cash, but cards, house keys ....

                      She took it quite easy at the weekend. Her and my wee ones spent much of it doting on eachother.

                      There's also the added advantage that it looks likely that justice is imminent. Those who remember some of my earlier posts may appreciate that my family has been badly let down in this department in the past. Diffferent situation now. I'll be there in court for mum as moral support.


                      • #12
                        Homer, great to see that, despite the event, your mum is doing well and that justice will hopefully prevail. Not just good news for this board but for society in general. Keep us posted about the Court results.


                        • #13
                          Thanks, there's been some interesting developments which had best wait till after court for posting.

                          Mum's well.


                          • #14
                            Glad to hear your mum is well, Homer.

                            Poor dear, it must have been an awful experience for her

                            Let us know how the court case goes. I hope the low life gets a proper sentence!!

                            "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                            • #15
                              I hope the low life gets a proper sentence!![/b]

                              Sorry to disappoint.

                              Mugger got a drug treatment order. Walked free, unexpectedly.

                              Hey Judge, why do you think mugger was remanded in custody B4 trial?

                              Is "(the poor defendant) already has one court order to contend with" really particularly relevant mitigation?

                              I think the criminal justice system needs a bit of an overhaul, paricularly in our area where the poorest calibre of personnel remain safe from any kind of demotion or removal from position. Grrrrrrrr!

                              Ah well, we can always rely on Karma. Perhaps this habitual criminal might go and burgle the dozy Judge's house and buy some bad, vein-ruining, gear with the proceeds.