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  • What Do You Think

    Okay, this is a subject that is going to divide people into two categories for sure, the ones who agree and the ones that don't. So sit back relax and read this through and then post your answers.

    This morning I needed to call into Tesco's to do the lottery, get the newspaper and one or two other bits and bobs. The dog was in the back of the car and the morning sun was shining. I drove around Tesco's car park and the usual spots where I would normally park in the shade were gone. I wasn't sure how long I would be in Tesco's but spotted a car parking space in the shade under the canopy in the Parent and Child parking bays. Now previously when presented with this dilemma I have always asked at Customer Services if it is okay to park there. The staff have never had a problem with this at all given the welfare of my dog.

    I got out of the car and this guy walks past with his wife and two young children and shouts at the top of his voice "Forgotten baby have we". I replied "No I am parking here because I need to keep the car cool out of the sun because of my dog". He then doubles back and shouts at me "Oh my heart f*****g bleeds for you, I suppose you are one of those people that parks in disabled parking bays too", to which I said "Well actually yes I do too" and then showed him my mothers disabled parking badges and I carried onto say that on the basis that my mum was not with me I was not in a position to do so, and that if he had a problem with my car he should speak to the Tesco managment.

    He then shouts further unrepeatable abuse and was flinging his arms in the air at which point a man came over and asked me if I was okay. He agreed with me that the ideal solution was to park my car elsewhere in the shade but with the dog on board this was possible given that the spaces were taken and that he too has used this method when he has had his dog with him also. This nasty creature then scuttles off. Everybody - as you can imagine - was looking. In the meantime this idiots wife takes the two children does not even look back in his direction of his abuse and almosts acts as if she is not with him.

    I went into Tesco and the staff there were very nice and once again said that as the parking and grounds were the property of Tesco that they had no problem with me parking in that spot given the dog in the car.

    When I came back out this man was walking in front of me and I was trying to keep out of his way, one of the trolley collectors came over and said to me that this guy was bang out of order and that he needs reporting to the police and offered to be witness.

    Then idiot walks down the side of my car and elbows my wing mirror so it closes over into the door (not a problem anyway as the car has automatic folding wing mirrors so cause no damage). He then gets back to his car and I am sitting by now in my car watching him waiting to get his vehicle registration number. He is shouting at his wife and the words "Oh for God's sake you stupid woman" could be audibly heard. He then drives by my car looks straight at me and does the proverbial two fingered salute to which I was happy because I could clearly get his registration number down.

    Shaggy has gone mad and recons we should report him but with all the trouble with Madhatter I just cannot be bothered dealing with the police over something else.

    So the question is this :-

    Do you think that he had a valid right to have a go at me on the basis that I took a parking space that I was not entitiled to or do you think his behavour was obnoxious and replusive as some others felt it was. Would you do the same and if so why ?

  • #2
    Hi Scooby,

    Personally, I have no problem with the parking action you took, given the circumstances. I would also have run it by the staff in Tesco's, which you did. Might've put a note in my window to the above effect, to avoid winding up anyone who might've had an issue with it after I had gone inside. And, then I would've been incensed by that man's attitude, and thought stuff him . Don't think he's worth the effort.



    • #3
      For what its worth Sapph I agree with you - my one big mistake was answering him in the first place.

      He would make an ideal neighbour for Madhatter though - well matched.


      • #4
        Ah well...they say there's someone out there for everyone :lol:


        • #5
          Just out of curiosity, Scoobs, was this guy also parked in the parent and child bays?

          I thought those bays were there for parents who had to have their children with them when they shopped. Why would it take two parents to shop? Why couldn't one stay at home and mind the kids? Why should that couple have the right to a parking place just because their kids are with them?

          I have no problem with you parking where you did. I think mr.mouthalmighty is a pathetic bully who thinks it enhances his (imaginary) manhood to abuse a single woman. From what you describe he has absolutely no respect for his own wife, why would he have any for a stranger? The only think I would say that you did wrong was to acknowledge his presence, let alone reply to him. :rant: People like him should be utterly ignored, they are below your contempt! You don't have to justify your actions to loud mouthed, bullying, yob.

          I'd be torn about whether to report him or not. To be honest I doubt the police would do much about it anyway

          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


          • #6
            Originally posted by Scooby@Sep 20 2003, 9:45 PM

            Do you think that he had a valid right to have a go at me on the basis that I took a parking space that I was not entitiled to or do you think his behavour was obnoxious and replusive as some others felt it was.Â* Would you do the same and if so why ?

            Absolutely no right to have a go!

            Mhmmmm, what an annoying little bullying man you've described there Scooby!

            I have to say firstly that I think you were quite restrained given the circumstances!

            Personally, I'd have totally blanked him - I may have 'stared' at him or even raised an eyebrow and then ignored him, but that's always easier to say when you're not there in person. I think I wouldn't have even bothered justifying myself to him, after all this was none of his business whatsoever. That said though, you acted with more manners than him and did what you thought was the right thing to do.

            You checked with the Supermarket staff and cleared the space with them, no worries. He had absolutely no right to talk to you like this or even threaten you like this (which is what it was, a threat). He doesn't act on behalf of Tesco's and how dare he take it on himself to treat you like this.

            Personally I'd have been extremely annoyed over this, but on reflection I don't think I'd bother chasing it up with the Police, although this is a personal choice to be sure. You may/may not get anywhere and it could be better to forget the little twerp for the bullying thug of a creep he undoubtedly is. Fortunately there was no damage to your car, if there had have been I would be saying report him Police-wise definitely.

            His behaviour was most definitely obnoxious to the highest degree and it sounds like his wife was probably pretty embarassed. Also I doubt Tesco's could have done much to be honest with the Parent/Child spaces, unlike the disabled spaces they don't seem to enforce 'don't park in them' etc without a valid reason/clearance to do so (as per the Disabled Badge Holder spaces) - 'cos at the end of the day they'd have to watch everyone using them (futile exercise) to see if they were using the spaces appropriately after all. That said though you obviously use higher morals and check anyway.

            You could complain to Tesco's and give them this guy's registration number/description and make a written complaint to the Supermarket Manager - and in fact I'd be tempted to do this. Get it in writing it's ok for you to use the parent-space if needs be - tell them you're a long standing and loyal customer and you felt very harassed through the behaviour of this bloke and it makes you feel like you don't want to visit their store in future unless they consider your complaint seriously, etc, etc. Also point out that this guy could pose a security risk and potential threat to their staff after what you witnessed/personally experienced. Point out that the incident had third-party witnesses (e.g. Supermarket staff) - name them if you can.

            That said, good to hear you and Shaggy are fine after the event though. A less restrained person could well have clocked this bully, we know you wouldn't stoop to that level but others most certainly would! I applaud your restraint.



            • #7
              Originally posted by Scooby@Sep 20 2003, 9:45 PM

              Â* In the meantime this idiots wife takes the two children does not even look back in his direction of his abuse and almosts acts as if she is not with him.

              I don't blame her. Any normal person would be absolutely mortified that someone they knew would behave like that over a supermarket parking space.

              You had a completely valid reason for parking in the parent and child section and as Matthew has said, these are courtesy spaces for Tesco customers and it's up to Tesco to tell you if you can't park there.

              As far as taking it any further. I would base that on how wound up you really are about it. I think you are right, you already have a lot on your plate, and I doubt whether you are going to make this idiot see sense.

              Some people.......... :badmood:


              • #8
                I agree with you on this one Scooby, he sounds like the type that thinks it's clever to shout at women in front of an audience. Ok maybe you could have hung around waiting for the right place to empty, but I have not seen anyone complain about all the people who park in the disabled bays yet.

                If he tried to damage my car, I would make sure I knew which his car was.


                P.S. You and your mum take care.


                • #9
                  Hi Scoobs

                  Well, shopping with children can be hell, and ANYTHING to make it easier, like parking bays close to the store, with less traffic etc etc is welcome. And people abusing these facilities - or disabled spaces - seem to do so with impunity. So I'd be glad (normally) to see someone sticking up for the harassed parent, and point out to Mr or Mrs 'The-sign-doesn't-apply-to-me' what plonkers they are. Normally. But in a reasonably polite way. If you park the dog in the shade in a parent & child space it's fair to expect to be challenged, especially if it's the last such space available (was it?). But no-one has the right to F and blind. And you HAD checked out with store staff, and were prepared to explain. There's a Polish proverb about the best thing to do with dog turds on the pavement: step around them & leave them behind, or you'll get s**t on your shoes. Little turds are not worth the bother...

                  It annoys me when parents with teenage kids (or even 7-year olds+) also use these spaces. No prams, no toddler tantrums - why do they need special treatment?

                  If I'm stuck with dogs in a hot car, I'll (if I have a passenger who can wait in the car) leave them in the car with the engine running & the aircon on. Not sure if it's quite legal for a 10 year old to be alone with the dogs in a car with the engine running... Wouldn't do it in a busy street...
                  "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)


                  • #10
                    Hi scooby

                    I don't have kids and I don't have a disability, so I never use either parking facility in a supermarket.

                    If I saw someone parking in either of those spaces, I wouldn't have a go at them (I might raise my eyebrows and mutter ). But that's me. He obviously has a bee in his bonnet about it, perhaps he was unable to get a parking space one day and has to walk an extra ten feet to get to the supermarket door.

                    If Tesco's say it's alright for you to use the parent and child facilities when you have scrappy doo in the car and need to park in the shade, then why not ask them to confirm it on a compliments slip and put that on your dashboard on those occasions? Or, on days when it's hot leave scrappy at home unless that's totally impossible?

                    I wouldn't bother with the Police, it's not worth the hassle along with everything else you're having to cope with at the moment.


                    • #11
                      Scooby, it is clear that you met someone else's NFH. He Sounds like a barrackroom lawyer. "You can't do that here. It's illegal. Well, if it isn't it should be!" He sounds like a headcase!


                      • #12
                        Neighboured, I have to agree with you because thats exactly what I thought. In reality I should have done exactly what Matthew and Sapph suggested and that was not to say anything, however, I felt that it was only courtesy on my part to explain why I was there.

                        In reality I think this man has done this thing before simply because of the way his wife acted even his daughters just put their heads down. She just walked straight off did not turn around did not batter one eyelid and carried on almost as if she was not with him.

                        Holly, I needed the dog with me as we were off dog training and I didn't want to go into Tesco's on the way home because I knew I couldn't be bothered to, so I thought that by buzzing in there before we did the training it would be better.

                        The fact is that you meet alls sorts of people from all walks of life and the majority are very good. Unfortunately in this case I met someone who clearly had a bee in his bonnet over something or other. My guess is that there are bigger issues going on in his life and my small misdemeanour just tipped the balance and made him flip. Ironically when I was paying for the lottery I looked across and saw him and his wife at one of those express tills (is ten items or less maybe ?) and he had a trolley ! He walked out in front of me carrying four bags and his wife had three. me thinks one rule for him another for someone else.

                        I think I just came across someone who in reality is clearly unstable. Blimey just had a thought I wonder what the hell he is like to work with. I'll tell you this though I sure am glad I am not married to him, good grief it would be enough to want to make your drive your car off Beachy Head.


                        • #13
                          Oh dear,

                          parking spaces, the cause of so much friction.

                          As someone who has the dubious pleasure of being''entitled'' to use both the disabled and the parent & baby spaces, I do know how frustrating and actually infuriating it can be when you can see someone obviously taking the mick using the space when they are perfectly able to use a regular one.

                          In your case though, Scooby, and I am not just saying this, you had a sensible reason for using the space and the mere fact that you checked with Tesco first shows that you are a decent person who does consider the implications of your actions on others before doing anything.

                          Those spaces are only there as a courtesy, nothing can be done to enforce their use. I accept that as a user of the spaces.

                          That thug had no business speaking to you like that - if he had something to say he should have taken it up with Tesco and I am sure they would have put him right. But of course he's a bully and he was only looking to vent on you at that time (for whatever reason), he doesn't really give a hoot if you use the space or not.

                          It's true what Holly said - shame he must've had to walk a further ten feet, eh? Some people really can't even walk that far, so he should be grateful.

                          I'd be inclined to forget about it - too much hassle although it leaves a sour taste that you know he goes about his merry life without knowing what an absolute ignoramus he is.

                          Do you think that perhaps because of all the other stuff you're dealing with at the moment that you have felt extra bad about this episode? Please don't let this idiot get to you, you are the better person, no contest

                          Best wishes



                          • #14
                            my opinion is,

                            sometimes it is the survival of the fittest out there.

                            we dont want to take the mick and park in disabled/parent and child whatever, but sometimes there is just no option. you did the best you could, many wouldnt even bother.

                            that man needs to chill out.

                            there are worse things going on in the world, which deserve our energy and attention

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                            • #15
                              Just a small adition to what others have said. Whether or not you were "right" to park where you did is almost irrelevent. You most certainly did not deserve to be subject to such insulting behaviour. In my view this kind of thing tends to come from rather weak and inadequate people who try to bolster their feeble egos by finding fault in what othesr do. I doubt very much that showing consideration for others is one of his qualities. If I was you I'd try to forget the whole thing, you bumped into nasty piece of work, unfortunately there are quite a few about, but his views are of no importance. And, of course, if the store has no objection, then there's clearly no problem