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Part of my long story

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  • Part of my long story

    Ok I will keep this short, I have had problems with my neighbours for (well it's comming up fro 5 years now) their are 3 of them the mother, father and 2 sons, the youngest son who is 13 & the father are the main problem.

    The youngest son (J) is really a horrible boy, he kicks his football against our windows, he has damaged our car so many times I have lost count, and when I was recovering from my Cancer (I didn't look very good) he would call me names & shout out hurry up and die you freak, he also used to spit at me

    The father has threated to kick my a** many times, and once tried to run me over with his Van I really don't know why they are tormenting us like this, I am not the sort of person who stands in the street and gossips, like most of them do around here, I keep myself private and don't interfear with anyone

    As our house is rented, I have had the housing officer round loads of times, along with the police and nothing ever gets done, I have a Webcam set up that we have pointing at our car and have captured this kid scratching our car, but again as he is only 13 he gets away with it, and now he has started banging on our living room window again, he does it at night so I can't capture it on my cam

    Last night I was sat watching a film, and at about 9.30pm he was outside with a group of boys, this J walked past our window calling us names and threw the brick, luckly for us we have double glazing and the window only cracked, that was the last straw for me, I grabbed a bottle of Wine that was left over from christmas, and drank the lot, but as I don't drink very often it made me feel a whole lot worse, and I could have taken loads of pills, because I didn't care about life anymore

    I am so depressed and feel alone, my Partner Steve is disabled and can't do very much he suffers from depression he has done for a few years, and living here next to these people just makes it worse.

    I have tried to get a house exchange, we had a couple turn up to look at our house they seemed very keen, but as they were leaving the kid next door came out and called me names, and kicked his football at the couple's car and shouted abuse at them they rang me the next day and said they found a better house so we are stuck here alone and depressed

    As I said at the beginning this is a small part of what's been happening, I can't bring myself to tell you all the worse parts it's too painfull for me

  • #2
    Hi Dawnie,

    A big welcome to you and Steve!

    I am so sorry you have gone through such a difficult time with this dreadful family, life really seems so unfair at times, and what you have also said about yours and Steve's health, it just seems you have had more than your fair share.

    At least now you dont have to go it alone, even though we are not living near you, you are more than welcome to come and seek solace here any time of day or night.

    We are not able to wave a magic wand and make it better just like that, I really wish we could, but we can offer you support and hopefully some great advice.

    you are being harrassed by these people and it needs stopping.

    please keep a record of every misdemenour and get back in contact with the housing office and the police.

    you should not have to be victimised by that young bully and his dad.

    do not let any officails fob you off, I know it might be easy for me to say that but I promise you I have been there.

    you must right for your human rights, dont give in and nag nag nag them till something is done.

    tell the housing officers about your state of health due to these charming people, tell them that you can not cope any more with it, from your posting you sounded very close to the edge and that is dreadful.

    please do not let these thugs effect you any more.

    be strong and be can do it because you are not going to let them destroy your life any further.

    I dare they make you feel like that!

    many members here have said that since speaking to like minded people, their confidence in life has increased 10 fold, and yours will too.

    cue music...eye of the tiger from rocky!!

    Sorry, I get quite carried away when I get on my soap box.

    please come and visit us often, things will get better!



    • #3

      Your story sounds similar to mine.

      I have had it for 5 years but am now finally at the end of it.

      From my experience it is no good going to the Housing Officer go to the Head of Housing.

      Get your local MPS involved, i did this and they got our Mp from the houses of parliament involved and he has done wonders.

      I also threatened to take action against them for breaking the human rights legislation.

      Reoprt every incident to the police and get a crime number so that you have that as proof that you have complained.

      Bombard the council with weekly letters of what your NFH has done, i think our La got fed up with my weekly journal.

      If you have no joy with Head of housing go one up from him/her.

      If you get no joy from local police go higher.

      This has finally paid off for me.

      You do get down and you do feel as if you want to give up but keep telling yourself you can do it and fight them.

      Nfh revel in the fact that they know they are getting to you,try not to let them, if you are low someone is always on here for you to Rant at and believe me it helps as we are all in the same boat on here.

      Keep your chin up.



      • #4
        The ladies above give good advice & support.

        Do try and avoid taking it out on yourselves. It's them not you that are in the wrong.

        Hope things improve,,



        • #5
          Hi Dawnie,

          You really are living with the bullies from hell! How sad that this family encourage this young person and do obviously nothing to stop his bullying and nasty behaviour. What a vindictive, nasty and cruel set of NFH. I find NFH like this to be even more pathetic than most Did they start over anything particular or are they just a family that think it's right and their divine right to pick on other people who aren't the same as their sorry selves? This child will grow up into an absolutely spiteful adult too, what a shame.

          It must be very hard to live with and to make it worse when things get personally orientated like that, it makes it even worse (if that feels possible sometimes).

          You have the right to live in your house peacefully and enjoy your property and you and your partner's rights are clearly being violated, they (NFH) have no right to do that to you. The HA/Local Authority have a duty to sit up and listen and take action.

          This is harassment and bullying in it's raw form, it's direct, it's not subtle and it's exceptionally nasty. What have the Local Council/HA advised? Do you keep logs of events? What's happened officially?

          Don't hurt yourself over them Dawnie - they are pond life. You and Steve deserve better, they will win if you ultimately 'lose'. Stand up to bullies and they more often than not move on.

          Have a look at Bully Online too if you've not seen it yet, I think you'll find it handy

          Come back here often, you will feel better for it, I guarantee it


          • #6
            Dawnie, I could feel the anger rising as I read your story. It has elements that are very similar to my own.
            I really don't know why they are tormenting us like this, I am not the sort of person who stands in the street and gossips, like most of them do around here, I keep myself private and don't interfear with anyone[/b]

            I say the same thing about myself. Maybe this is why people like us are targetted, because we don't fit in with some of the more antisocial neighbours. They are too stupid to see that keeping oneself to oneself is not in any way snobbery or antisocial.

            I can only agree with what Beth and Tracy have advised. Keep a log, report each and every incident to the police and get a crime number. Nag, nag, nag, the housing office. Involve your MP and local councillors. Threaten to go to the newspapers, HA's hate bad publicity.

            Who told you that because the evil little monster is only 13 nothing can be done? Because that is quite untrue. It is a pity that you couldn't get the people who were thinking of taking over you house to put in a report to the HA as to what they saw.

            I think I understand exactly what you are going through; the feeling of being a prisoner in your own home, the constant anxiety, waiting for the next incident. The churning stomach and thumping heart.

            Please, please don't let your HA or the police fob you off. You have a right to enjoy your home and these agencies have a duty to see that you do. It might take a little time but if they see that you are not going to give up they will eventually have to do something to help you. Also let your GP know what is happening and how it is affecting you.

            Good luck, Dawnie, and don't forget, we're here for you.

            "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


            • #7
              Hi Dawnie and Steve,

              I haven't had the chance yet to say hello but welcome and thank goodness you have at least found us now.

              I am so damn angry reading your posting. The cancer that you have had, I understand your situation our NFH aka Madhatter stood on his front lawn laughing when he found out my mum was ill, but it is all coming home to roost on him shortly and quite frankly I just cannot wait. Although, his behaviour does not go down too well with the other neighbours who quite frankly give him the cold shoulder because of his unorthodox behaviour.

              DO NOT GET STRESSED this will make your cancer worse and it does not help your long term progress. I have spoke with several different eminent specialists in their field and one of the triggers of cancer is through stress, do not put yourself through this any further.

              Can I just say that running a vehcile at you could be classified as attempted murder, I have sufered this with Madhatter and this is now just another nail in his coffin so to speak. All diaried and times etc have been taken regarding this.

              You are being harrassed on what appears to be a continual basis, the police have it within their powers to place a 1997 Harrassment Act upon them. It is very easy to do and generally this revolves around the Domestic Violence unit within a police station. I am speaking from experience here, so I know what they can do. The Harrassment Act needs only two seperate incidents likely to either cause alarm, distress or fear and this can be placed upon your NFH. If they were to so much as even glare at you, you pick up the telephone and call the police, they come out arrest NFH and they place them before the next court sitting so if they kicked off say on a Friday night, they would arrest them, kept in the cells until Monday and placed before the sitting of Magistrates for that day. If they persist in this behaviour the courts can impose a prison sentence. You do not have to suffer from this, the police have the powers you must put it to them that they in effect should bring this into play for not only your peace of mind but your own personal safety.

              Misty has correctly stated that you need to make waves. Its not pleasant I know but what you are going through is not pleasant either. Misty I echo the point about not standing around gossiping in the streets, maybe thats where we are all going wrong !

              Do what Beth and Tracey advised, get a diary and log every single incident, time, dates, actions etc. This will also form the backbone of your claim against them.

              These people are just total and utter SC*M and I have no hesitation in putting it down here. Apologies if I offend anyone but that is the way I feel. This is a total betrayal of your rights to live your life in peace.

              The police will support your claim. You need the evidence and you need to speak to the right people in the right places.



              • #8
                Dawnie, I'm in a dark place too at the moment due to my NFH (RAF helicopters).

                I just want to say that these boards are getting me through a bad patch at the moment, the main reason being, people on these boards really do understand what we're going through as they're going through/have been through, the same themselves.

                It's a place of refuge, advice, understanding and support, invaluable to people in our situation. It's a place to let off steam, be angry and upset - and start to feel a little better because others understand, listen and reply.

                I absolutely promise you that reading and contributing to these boards will help you feel a little better.

                The other day another member (Tracy) had some good news, her NFH are on the move, it's crazy mad as I don't know Tracy, none of us have met, but I was really happy for her, genuinly pleased as it was one up for the people on these boards who suffer.

                As for not "wanting to tell the worst parts as it's too painfull", I've been putting off giving an update and telling people how mine started for quite a while now, it's because we don't want to relive it.

                I get so angry thinking about my NFH it drowns out other thoughts, so with you on that one.

                Tell it in your own time and if you want to, there are decent, good, people on these boards who will listen.

                It may seem impossible to you now, but there's always something in life worth living for, something to strive for, something at least to raise a smile, even a little one for.

                I'm not a believer in any god or spiritual leader. I believe in the spirit of man, so much so that I put it on my census form under 'religion'!!!! Man's spirit in the face of adversity is stronger than he knows. It's summoning that strength within us that's the battle.

                In a nutshell; Hello Dawnie and welcome!!!

       case anyone's wondering - I'm not some sort of cult leader, it's just my own personal belief - I don't go round in a white robe saying I've cloned babies or come from another planet - yet!!!!!!!!!!



                • #9

                  I am simply speechless and I sympathise completely as I think do all of the group here. Always remember, you are not alone, this exists all over the UK (and I'm sure everywhere else in the world)

                  NFH usually pick on single women or the vulnerable (old, infirm or disabled) - very rarely do they pick on people bigger or tougher than themselves, and for good reason , they're spinelesss cowards with power and anger management issues.

                  I feel sick with sorrow you've had to go through this, and can understand fully your pain and loathing of these vindictive *@!"£s (sorry, board).

                  Good advice, as always from the rest of the group - make a diary, install CCTV with video if you can afford it, and pressure the police using the "vulnerable" at risk ticket where possible. Someone, somewhere will listen.

                  I found that no-one in my neighbourhood can stand my NFH, this helped as even though no action could be taken as a group, it made me feel less lonely and isolated. This is what your NFH is banking on, engage your neighbours in friendly conversation, and I'll bet it comes out quickly that the rest of the street hate him too.

                  I really offer my heart out to you Dawnie, it sounds as though you have a lovely bloke too and deserve much much more from life. Keep us informed and stay safe.



                  • #10
                    Hi Dawnie

                    Really sorry to hear anout the troubles you are having at the moment.

                    In terms of your Housing Officer visiting and not a lot happening, just to check, are you renting from a Council or Housing Association? As others have said, make sure you keep a detailed log of all incidents.

                    If you believe that it is no longer reasonable for you to live where you are - and you want to move -, then your local authority's Housing Needs Service/Homeless Persons Unit will have a duty to take an application from you under Part VII Housing Act 1996 - from the other bits that you've said, it would appear that whilst they investigate this application they will have a duty to give you suitable temporary accommodation.

                    If you feel this is an avenue you want to go down, then let me know and I can maybe help you some more in what you should be telling the Council.

                    Keep strong - I know it is difficult - come back to the site often as there is usually always someone around to empathise and/or offer very useful advice.


                    • #11
                      Blatant plug!

                      NFH Legislation Excerpts of Housing Act, 1996 but not Chapter VII to what Holly refers to ('Homelessness and threatened homelessness') - you can view the whole (huge!) act on the HMSO Website


                      • #12
                        Useful info for you Dawnie:



                        • #13
                          hi Dawnie welcome,

                          im sorryto read your story, i cant understand why these people are allowed to get away with so much.

                          as someone said before keep complaining to the police and HA, until someone will listen to you.

                          i understand only too well that NFH can drive you insane, make you anxious, again a chat with your GP could help, it helped me with some medication and im able to cope better with life.

                          i hope someone helps you very soon and my heart goes out to you and your husband.




                          • #14
                            Sorry this is a bit late, but my NFH's son was knocked down on Monday so he has been in Hospital, so I have made the most of it and acually was able to use my Garden, without things being thrown over the fence at me, But he came home from Hospital today

                            I would like to thank you all for replying I am overwhelmed by your response and couldn't begin to tell you how much you have helped me.

                            I will try and answer some of your questions, Holly I am renting a house from the Housing Association, I have sent my area officer loads of Diary sheets, and showed her the pics I captured from my webcam, she still does nothing, in fact I am lucky if she even writes to me and I have even phoned and left messages on her answer service, she never gets back to me

                            Scooby, sorry I didn't explain very well, I am over my cancer now I have been clear for nearly 2 years, I was also interested when you said about the Harrassment Act, I am worried that it would cause more problems, But I am going to check it out

                            Matthew, I did speak to my NFH a couple of times, the Mother seemed nice until I asked her if she would ask her son not to kick his football at our window, the 2nd time I spoke to her I asked if she would stop her son from calling my Daughter names every time she left the house ( my daughter has moved out because she couldn't cope with them anymore) after that the trouble started, I don't know why as I didn't stand in the street shouting and swearing like she does

                            Well thanks again for all your help, I do feel a bit stronger today thanks to all of you


                            • #15
                              Hi Dawnie,

                              At least you had a short time of peace and quiet anyway

                              Typical NFH tactics, stand up for yourself and your rights and the NFH all of a sudden become the victim.

                              Glad the board has made you feel supported, come back often and let us know what's happening