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What to expect now...

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  • What to expect now...

    We have had over two years of verbal abuse from our neighbours. We have never spoken to them after our first meeting with them when they were abusive and because of the abuse do not acknowledge them if we have to pass them.
    Each time we have had major abuse we have reported it to the police and given a detailed statement - mainly because the male often threatens to smash my husbands face in. But of course it is their word against ours and the female works within the police in administration.
    On police advice we have installed CCTV and have learned to make sure any complaint is a 'closed' one so that only certain police can view it (our female neighbour is friends with our local beat officers).
    In the past week we have had verbal abuse. The male has damaged our property - kicked a gate to pieces and 'wished he could smash my husbands face in' as well as stating he has big plans for my husband.
    As this latest outburst was such a shock to us we did not realise he had caused damage to our property until later when we, well, dared to go back out, and immediately phoned the police. During this call I realised it was worth checking the CCTV and whilst he is mostly out of the video footage it has been sound recorded word for word and the gate breaking. We also found footage from two days before of this person filling my husbands outdoor shoes with excrement.
    Since we reported the incident our neighbours seem to have disappeared.
    I promise, we have never encouraged or responded to their abuse. We are not the only people to have complained to the police or indeed receive abuse off them.
    I have never been involved in anything like this before and am frightened. Will I be blamed for having CCTV? and if he is charged will he be back home and able to seek some form of revenge? He has threatened to hurt my children (two teenage girls and a young boy) and I worry so much as my husband works nights and we are home alone. Any advice?

  • #2
    Hi Geric

    Your neighbour sounds truly awful, and his behaviour is appalling and unacceptable.

    You are doing the right thing by reporting these frightening incidents. His conduct towards you is "harassment with fear of violence" which the police should know is a crime. The police often like to be able to put these incidents down to a "neighbour dispute" so they can take no action, and the way to prevent them from being able to do this is not to retaliate in any way to your neighbours. Do not have an argument with them, do not do any damage to their property, do not engage with them. This is easier said than done, but it will stand you in good stead, and if there is ever a court case it is the best way for you to have the law on your side.

    There is a helpsheet on this website called "Beyond mediation" - I would put a link here but I don't know how to! You should be able to find it. It will help you to try to understand (not "sympathise" but "understand") what is driving your neighbours from hell, and will offer you tips to deal with them.

    Keep on at the police and tell them how frightened you are for yourself and your daughters. They have to help you. Try to engage with the police reasonably, and show that you are a reasonable person. If they disagree with you, do not argue with them - you are in this for the long haul and you do not want to get their back up.

    Other people will be along with advice soon, but in the meantime I am thinking of you.

    Best wishes.



    • #3
      Contact your local councillors and MP, get your story out there, sadly people abuse their position and you can complain to a higher placed officer about
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      • #4
        Sorry, the civilian worker, if others are also complaining can you write/meet with police to voice your problems. When there are more complaints they cannot classify it as a domestic dispute.
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        • #5
          Hi Geric.......... from my own situation I know that if the Police advised you to get CCTV...... then they are onside.

          It is worrying that they might make retaliation but from what you say about them disappearing I would suspect they are worried about Police contact............ and that can only be a good sign.

          If anything happens while your hubby is not there.......... dial triple nine..... NOT 101 you must use the fact that you are a vulnerable woman with children under threat !

          The Police should prevent you from feeling scared in your own home!


          • #6
            Hi Geric

            Have you had a better day today?