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Village Life

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  • Village Life

    Hello all.

    I am a new member along with my wife to be Carol. I am Phil.

    We Live in a small village near a larger town. It was originally built as a 'dormitory' village for the paper mill nearby. Unfortunately in the sixties and seventies it was used (Having become a council estate.) as a dumping ground for the undesirable tenants o could not be housed elsewhwere. At that time it was common for weapons, Drugs and alcahol to be traded and used frequently. With many tenants buying houses this situation eased a little by the 80's and 90's. It does however have hangover problems now and this is our problem. We have two main problems.

    Some of the local kids have worked out that our house, being in the corner of a court and under an arch is an ideal opportunity to do some damage and hide. There are also many 'rabbit runs' nearby offering further concealment opportunities. For many years an assortment of the local problem kids have made our life hell. We had eggs at the door, scrawled messages and excrement on our doorstep, abusive names shouted at name it. We sent my daughter to the shop hoping she would benefit by a bit of responsibilty. She was asked for money and when she refused she had he trousers pulled down in a very public place. This was 5 years ago and this and other incidents mean she simply doesn't want to go out.

    The tormentors grew up and one of them now has three kids by different fathers and always looks miserable (Sorry but it's great seeing this, is that nasty of me?). The next generation has now taken over and have taken to launching wheelie bins and bricks at our front door. These have smashed the glass (For which we have to pay!!!!!) and the door now moves in it's frames. One of the kids involved is so bad he has an anti-socia behaviour order against him. He seems to see this as a status symbol. We have involved the police and various other agencies but the anti social thing was the only result. Carol went to see the parent's involved and found out that one of the local families who see themselves as the village mafia are actively involved in this campaign. However the attacks which have lasted for 8-9 months have decreased in frequency as a result of the visits.

    That is one of our problems. As if this wasn't enough we have a block of flats opposite us which belongs to another housing association. This is used for housing ex foster kids and others whose placement is difficult and others who have a bad history. The foster kids are a pain, they get a taste of freedom and go wild but they usually get moved out after a while. The latest problem lies with another tenant. After an incident in his last home he went away from the village but for some reason he was re-housed in this block recently. Aside from some very dodgy freinds he is a complete pain. He plays dance music between 7 and 8 in the morning specifically, it seems, to wake everyone up and we have cars screeching up to his house at all hours. If confronted he resorts to personal insults. He has accused My other daughter of sleeping with most of the village (She is only 14 and with us most of the time.) He accuses Carol of wanting to sleep with him when she complains and my ability in the bedroom is apparently called into question frequently. He says he is a moslem and consequently does not deal with women but when I spoke to him he refused to deal with me. The music thing is now increasing and he has got wind that we are having our wedding reception in our garden in August. He has promised to ruin this. he has physically attacked a freind of ours for "Attempting to run him down." The fact that he insists on walking in the middle of the road may have something to do with this. His last opus was to get his mother in law (Aaaaaam a gypsy and praaaaad of it!) to threaten Carol and some relatives of the girl who was attacked. We were threatened that our cars and houses would be 'Burned out.' In short he seems to be a 26 year old with a 2year olds craving for attention. The early morning music is the worst as we work hard and we need to get a rest at the precise times he decides it's time to wake everyone up.

    Having said all this I have read several stories which are much worse than this on the boards. They all have my sympathy and understanding. In this area, being housing associaton owned, he will go too far and get himself evicted or convicted. This is the pattern of all our problems but when you and the bullies own your own house it must feel as if you are a prisoner of the situation.

    The problem in this country is that all the rights seem to be on the side of the bully and if they are children they are immune to prosecution or even a slap (Assault!) If there was a workable law protecting people from abuse (Something along the three complaints=conviction for nuisance lines.) It might act as a deterrant. Our car is parked opposite his house and you can imagine the abuse when we go out. This can't be right.

    I found this site this morning and it feels better knowing someone has created this forum for people like us.


    Phil and Carol

  • #2
    welcome to you both,

    I am so sorry you have had to join this site but now you are here I hope we can help a little bit, even if its just offering you some support.

    the first thing....WRITE EVERY THING DOWN!! there are blank log sheets on the main site under resources.

    secondly I would get the community police officer around for a chat and explain your concerns, the threats and what is happening to your family and property.

    also tell him of the threats you have received about your wedding reception.

    Are you bought or HA?

    either way I would go to the housing office or write to them and ask if they know whats going on in their houses, explaining some of the anti socail behaviours their tenents are getting up to.

    where I work, there are lots of little alley ways that undesirables have been using for drugs and stuff, the council after a lot of complaints have just put up fences and big locked gates with roll bars on the top so people can not climb over, all the residents who need access have been given one key for their nearest gate.

    could you suggest this to the council?

    I am sorry to say I think you have a lot of hard work ahead of you to start to resolve these problems, the question you need to ask your selfs is, is it going to be worth it?

    do you want to stay or move?

    if you are going to stay are you ready to for a fight (non physical of course)

    the last thing is what ever you do never ever do anything these people can use against you.

    smile as you go past them, never comment to them, never raise a hand and never stoop to their level.

    good luck, I know for a fact you will get loads of replies here!!


    • #3
      hello there sorry to hear of your plight.

      your story sounds awful, but you have come to the right place for support and help.

      i am wondering is there is a residents association, it sounds to me like there is one bad apple spoiling everything. are there other people being victimised or it it just you? as he has an antisocial thingy against him, surely if he carries on he can get himself into serious trouble....i suppose it is the same old thing, you would ahve to gave as much evidence as possible and the go at the authorities with all your might until they acted.

      a lot of people suggest putting up cctv and it seems to be a good deterrent.

      I decree today that life

      Is simply taking and not giving

      England is mine - it owes me a living

      But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

      Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr

      Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno

      I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar

      "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson

      The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward

      An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter

      Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron

      Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb

      There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux

      Carpe Diem

      Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne


      • #4
        Hi Phil and Carol and welcome

        Your story has a familiar ring to it I know NFH can turn up ANYWHERE, but why are there so many of them on council and social housing estates? I live in my own ex-council house on a very large estate in which roughly one third of the homes are owner occupied. But the prevelence of NFH is quite high in certain areas, including my road

        Firstly, as Beth said, keep a diary, log every incident. If you can get photographic, video or audio evidence then keep that as well. Again, as Beth said, call on your local Neighbourhood police officer and show him the evidence, or if you haven't gathered enough, ask him what he can do to help. It's unfortunate but there are some people from ethnic minorities who will 'play the race card'. We're all human and it stands to reason that there are good and bad in every race, culture and creed. Do any of your other neighbours have problems? If so try and get together as a group and put in complaints.

        Get in touch with the HA who are housing the foster kids. In our area there was one home opened without any consultation with local people. The kids caused a lot of damage, crime and harrassment to other residents. So the HA, social services, manager of the home and residents all got together. Social services threatened the home manager with closure if he didn't do anything about the behaviour of the kids in his care. Fortunately it all ended up happily and there is very little trouble from the kids any more. It seems that private landlords can lease their properties to private companies who run care homes for kids under the auspices of Social Services. And a nice little earner it is for private care homes and private landlords. Try and find out if this is what is happening in your case.

        As to the single man who seems to be giving you so much trouble, ask the neighbourhood officer about a Protection from Harrassment order being served. Also you could approach your local Environmental Health Office and ask for help there. You can get their number from your local council.

        Who is in charge of the rest of the estate? Is it council or Housing Association? Whoever it is, get in touch with them, ask them if they have any antisocial behaviour strategies and ask them what they are going to do about the harrassment you are receiving from local yobs. If your property is being damaged by yobs then it is obviously criminal damage which is taking place and the police have a duty to investigate. There has been a fairly successful programme in Liverpool with 'alleygating', i.e. putting gates up on alleys and only householders adjoining the alley have keys. Some closes had arches under which the yobs would congregate and they have now been blocked off. Don't forget to tell them about the sexual abuse and harrassment that your daughter has/is receiving at their hands.

        Good luck and don't forget to come back often and let us know how things are progressing

        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


        • #5
          Progress report.

          When the evil b*gger reported this mornings incident to his wife (We had to ask him to turn down his music at 8.30 am) the time magically became 10.30 thus placing us as the moaning minnies.

          However due to a freind who also knows the evil g*ts this lie was rapidly put down. A small victory.



          • #6
            Hi Phil and Carol and welcome to the Forum

            You have already been given some very comprehensive advice from Beth and Misty - if you want to read up on noise complaints, anti-social behaviour orders and help under the Protection from Harassment Act, please have a look on the NFH homepage under the Self-Help Articles.

            It does help to know what housing you are in, do you own your home?

            It would appear that the residents/ neighbours you are having problems with are living in Housing Association (HA) accommodation?

            If that is the case, then please contact the HA. You will need to make sure, however, that you have some evidence about the nfh behaviour (written record sheets charting all the incidents, photographic etc).

            Have you spoken or written to the noisy nfh? If that has failed, have you made a complaint to the Environmental Health Department (EH)?

            Wishing you all, as a family, the very best.


            • #7
              hi Phil n caz

              you've had geat advice...not much to add! If they are tenants they are undoubtedly in breach of their tenancy agreement...log them to hell. Give their landlord frequent updates(in writing), and all the luck in the can be done



              • #8
                Hi Guys,

                I am new to this site too and I joined when I could only see Blackness. After even my first reply I felt so much burden lift off my shoulders - I can't explain the relief I felt, knowing total strangers understood my situation and can see the inhumanity of it. I felt able to cope again just from those few words of kindness!

                I think you have been given excellent, practical advice from the others so far.

                Unfortunately, you will have to do all the running in a situation like yours as, like you say, the perpetrators, particularly from ''vulnerable'' sections of society are given so much protection and last chance after last chance.

                I would only be able to add this - find out who your local councillor is and MP and hound the living daylights out of them.

                They will have to act upon your complaints and contact the housing assoc's and council etc. Lobby to stop them using your village as a 'sink' for all the dregs.

                If possible, find other decent citizens and get a resident's association going - there is a lot of money available for this - ask the Housing Association and the Council. Once formed, you could demand that certain 'rat-runs' get blocked off, or like someone else has mentioned, access to certain residents only.

                It will be a long, hard fight - unfortunately Housing Allocation policies are such that certain areas, largely unpopular with families, tend to get used for the single young (men) especially and by the nature of the allocation policy, ALL will have some sort of social problem. The local councillors and MP's can at least start to exert some influence in this department.

                Also, there is new legislation in force now which means anyone can be accepted onto a housing waiting list - you don't have to have problems, so this may 'dilute' the current effect, but it will not be evident for ages yet.

                I am sure that with support you can deal with this - although it's despicable that you have to be involved with it at all.

                Good luck, hope things change soon for you.

                Maz :


                • #9
                  Hi all

                  Our house is housing association and we have involved them several times but they offer short term sympathy and promptly forget what they said. We once had a promise that we would be found a new house within a month when our window was smashed (See Village life.) Next time we talked to our housing officer she had "forgotten".

                  Just to update you a little on our situation. We got away most of last weekend by going to the beach and for a picnic lunch. Our NFH doesn't drive so we gloated a little that we could get away and he couldn't. We reported his early morning wake up calls yesterday (Monday.) to the housing association and we have reported our problems several times. Many of our neighbours also reported his actions.Thing is his housing association is not ours. However despite a promise to visit the neanderthal we have heard nothing, not even a visit from him to threaten us. In fact he has been very quiet. This usually means e is lulling us into a sense of security prior to a major assault.

                  His comments and actions led us to believe he is a little paranoid and this has been borne out. Someone who knows his wife has told us that he is so paranoid that he gets up at 5 am to escort her to work. He is very jealous of her and there are often violent arguments between them. Apparently he is convinced we have a police surveillance team in my sons bedroom. All I can find in there is mess!!!!! How do you convince a police surveillance team to take up residence, I'm sure a lot of NFH victims would love to know.

                  Strangely this all makes me feel a little better. Like most victims of crime you sometimes get the feeling that you are somehow responsible for the situation but we now have proof that the problem is definitely in his head.

                  We have the police visiting tonight on an unrelated matter (A physical assault on our daughter at school by an NFH of the future.). but this will not stop our dear moron from building a scenario in his mind involving a plot to get him with an MI5 assault team who live in our garden shed and the SAS launching an attack from our attic.

                  He did say he had a ticket for CUBA the other day, I don't know why he felt we needed to know this or indeed if it is true but the biggest favour he could do us is to go and annoy Castro for a while.

                  Keep smiling, evil contains the seeds of it's own desruction and so do NFH.

                  Phil and carol