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Just Need To Talk To Somebody

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  • Just Need To Talk To Somebody


    I guess that most of my freinds would say that I am a pretty normal guy who just happens to live by himself, which therefore means that I have no-one else to directly share the problems with at home. I stumbled across this site which so far means that I am not the only one with problems similar to myself.

    My neighbour problems started about three years ago. I moved into a new house which I was delighted with. The neighbour seemed fine and helpful.

    Then the neighbour on my right asked me if I wanted to put a fence up. I didn't really have the money (£140.00) after buying the house but agreed anyway and paid my half.

    We put this fence up together with no problems.

    Then about a month later the guy on my left put a fence up. The builders had already put a part fence between the patio area's so there wasn't that much to do.

    When I went out that night I noticed that the guy on the left had turned the fence (built by the builders) around so he would have the good side. In addition to this he had used the wood left over from the fence that I had paid for to construct a large proportion of his fence.

    In the interests of diplomacy I said nothing and carried on as normal. But after a couple of weeks he came to the door with an invoice and asked that I paid half of his bill.

    I declined and explained my side of the situation (Note that I had also just been made redundant and the company in liquidation - so I had no money whatsoever)

    He made a couple of nasty comments that I had made an enemy etc etc and never spoke again.

    I even tried buying a wedding present for them (Which they accepted) out of money given by my grandmother, money which was intended to get me by during my unemployment.

    Then on the night of the England / Argentina football game, I came back from London at 11:00 and swithch on the TV to watch the game that I had missed earlier. There was a commotion outside and I saw him trying to get his dog the excrete on my front lawn. I couldn't make it to the door quick enough, but when I did they were going in and my car aerial had been bent.

    I went to the police immediately and they came around the next day and took a statement. The visited him after a couple of days and he came around. He initially denied it, but I knew that it had been him. The police had informed him that he would have to replace the aerial or face further charges.

    He told me that I should have come to him streight away, as this could get him into problems, particulary with his shotgun licenses.

    He replaced that aerial and was very pally pally for a couple of hours though has never spoken again.

    I did try and give an olive brance last christmas by sending a card, but I found the card ripped up and shoved back through my door the next day. My freinds keep telling me that this was pathetic and that I should have known better.

    I guess I just want him to move

    Well that's it - off my chest. Would love to hear some thoughts or comments



  • #2
    Hi Angus.

    Like you I live alone and have the audacity to live in a family size house rather than a flat. This in itself seems to help make one a target. The only consolation about this, is that you don't have to consider the effect on your dependants. I think this makes NFH situations worse, having to worry about the way your kids are being affected.

    You don't say anything recent about your neighbour, if he is not troubling you now, does it matter that you don't get along?

    The way society is now an increasing number of people don't even know the neighbours - lucky so and so's!!!

    If there are current events, you need to let people here know as there are many who can give relevant advice.


    • #3
      Hi Angus,

      welcome to the forum board!

      yes you are right, you are not alone, we have all had or are having neighbour issues!

      I hope you will find loads of support and advice here, unfortunatly I do not have my thinking head on at the moment, but I wanted to welcome you!

      look forward to posting with you



      • #4
        Hi angus and welcome to the Forum

        Like Thornyside says, it would be helpful to know if there is any current issues between you and your neighbour.

        The behaviour of most neighbours from hell (NFH) can be deemed pathetic. I don't think most of us here will ever understand what makes them act the way that they do.

        The fence issue you mentioned, you said that your nfh used some of the wood left over - that though was bought by you and your other neighbour wasn't it? I wonder if your nfh asked your other neighbour if they could have the wood? I suppose that was theft, but a long time ago now.

        Getting your dog to go to the toilet on your neighbour's lawn is pretty low down behaviour and breaking an aerial aswell. Thankfully the Police acted and the matter was handled properly by them.

        You are amongst a very friendly group here who, as Beth as said, have experienced or still are experiencing nfh. We can all appreciate what it is like to live in an environment that is full of animosity, where you feel you can't enjoy your own home or where the behaviour of the nfh completely takes over your life.

        Please come back often to let us know how you're getting on.


        • #5
          Hi Angus, all in the same boat here. It looks like some NFH are desperate to instigate a reaction, they seem to thrive on conflict, so that anything, just anything, will set them off. We're all very different people on this site, living in very different circumstances but bound together by having NFH. I'm sure the site will help you out.



          • #6
            Some points, put together, are a bit disturbing.

            The bloke bears grudges, falls out easily, short fuse, performs acts foolishly and somewhat recklessly (dog pooing and aerial bending, card ripping).

            There are many people like this, unfortunately, but with shotguns? I don't like the sound of that.


            • #7
              He sounds a right ding bat, and I don't like the sound of shotguns. Have you actually seen any evidence of him owning one, or his he trying to scare you with his don't mess with me I've got a gun.

              Make a note of any threats he makes no matter how small and unimportant they may seem at the time.

              I would totally avoid this person, at least you tried and hopefully he will get bored and annoy someone else.

              He built a fence using mostly wood that you and your other neighbour paid for and he wants you to pay him some money for building it.

              He used other peoples wood to me that's theft.

              He built the fence by himself so feels he is owed something.

              Who owns the fence along that boundry? does he feel it is your responsibilty?

              Why dosn't he just take the fence to bits give you back your wood, and you can start again.


              • #8
                Thanks everyone for the support. It is much appreciated.

                By the way, I know for definate that he has guns. I keep finding shotgun cartridges (Empty and Spent) rolling across my driveway onto the lawn. The gun stuff doesn't really bother me. The first sign of anything bad like that and it's streight back to the police (And I won't drop any charges against him then, and the first sign of an unspent cartridge will be reported as well)

                He is starting to get clicky with one of the other neighbours and obviously been spreading whatever he spreads to them as well. Perhaps that will soon change when they fall out as he has with some others. (I overheard a conversaton in the garden the other day with his father in law). It wasn't about me, but resulted in the father in law havin to seriously calm him down. So this means that he falls out with a number of people which doesn't suprize me at all.

                So, I'm just going to ignore him and get on with the rest of my life, and try to be as normal as possible. The fence is now surrounded by a big clematis (Large and leafy) It belongs to him and overhangs into my garden which is more than fine. It means that I have a little more privacy, but would suggest this plant to anyone who requires gaps in fences to be obscured.

                Well thanks for now (Feeling a little better already)



                • #9
                  Hi Angus,

                  Sorry I've come late to your story. It sounds like your NFH is a little volatile which is a bit worrying considering he has guns. He probably only feels like a man when he's blasting little animals to death

                  I think you're taking the wise course by ignoring him. If he ever raises the question of the fence again, quietly and politely explain that he used YOUR wood to construct most of it so as far as you're concerned you've contributed enough. He's obviously a petty little man. Anybody who would tear up a Christmas card and return it through your letterbox is not the kind of person you'd want anything to do with anyway.

                  Hope things stay peaceful for you, but if you ever need to talk, or even rant, you can always come here and be sure of a warm welcome

                  "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                  • #10
                    Hi Angus

                    Further to my earlier PM, I recall you saying you wanted to let him know what you thought of him: don't do it! Just watch your back, keep a log and don't be drawn in.

                    All the best L.