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  • So Pleased I Found This Site!

    Hello everyone,

    I'm so pleased I found this site, it seems a very friendly and supportive group.

    It has helped me such a lot to know there are others going through it, some much worse than me. I will add my story when I've read a bit more on the site - there's such a lot of useful info. Just wanted to introduce myself.

    Kind regards,

    Bolshie
    BE BOLSHY - RECLAIM YOUR GARDEN!

  • #2
    just want to say welcome to you Bolshie!!



    hope you find what you need here, post your story when you feel ready!

    I know you will get bags of advice and support for your neighbour problem!



    welcome again

    Comment


    • #3
      Big welcome to you Bolshie! Come back often and post when you like too

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Bolshie welcome to the forum



        Look forward to hearing more from you when you are ready to post



        Misty
        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi bolshie and welcome



          If you are having problems with neighbours from hell (NFH) then you have definitely come to the right place .



          We have all experienced nfh in some way or form and are here to offer support, advice, hints and tips. There are also other very useful areas of this Forum which you can take part in should you want to, our newest one is "The Happy Zone" - a place to visit if and when you feel ready for some light humour and a laugh (which many of us suffering from nfh need every so often).



          You are amongst friends here - please feel free to look around the site and post when you're ready.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank you all for your kind welcome.

            I think I'm ready to tell my story now, please bear with me if I have to do it in parts but my modem has a sneaky way of switching itelf off with no warning and refusing to connect again! (the joys of technology)

            My husband and I moved to this house 8 years ago. Like a lot of other people whose stories I have read, it seemed such a nice area, such friendly people. We were delighted to move into a non-industrial area as my husband suffers from asthma and I am disabled, we thought it would do us both good.

            My neighbour, a 'sweet little old lady'.....yes, you can guess what's coming can't you? Was so kind when we first moved in. She was a bit nosey but we didn't mind her asking us what we were doing with the house, garden etc we thought she was just a bit lonely.

            A few weeks after we moved in we started getting phone calls in the middle of the night. We were puzzled as we had a new number and we'd only given it to the sweet little old lady next door to ring us if she needed anything as she was ill at the time. We thought perhaps it was something to do with the previous owner. Then the strange mail started. Clods of soil were pushed through the door in the middle of the night. Sometimes there would be sweet wrappers, empty cigarette packets, it seemed to be general litter that someone had found in the street and shoved through. We thought it must be children or probably teenagers playing some sort of prank.

            When we mentioned it to Sweetie next door though, I suddenly KNEW it was her. She sounded concerned but her face lit up, she couldn't disguise the sheer enjoyment she was having at our situation. Then her son moved in with her and things started to get even worse. We'd get knocks on the front door at all hours of the night. Of course, when we answered it, whoever it was had disappeared (not far to go, next door). I heard her door shut one early morning after the knock so I knew it was someone from that house.

            It puzzled me then and still does 8 years later as to what we have done to these fruitcakes. We'd not been in the place long enough to offend anyone! The only reason I can think of is that Sweetie has a daughter in Birmingham who wants to come and live near her mother so maybe they are trying to get us out so she can buy the house? (that's purely my guess, I suppose it's possible that there's no real reason, reading other people's stories it seems to be a matter of just being on the same planet is enough to get harrassed)

            I'll continue this later. Thanks for reading. It's upsetting to put it down but I'm sure it helps to know that you will understand.

            Mrs Bolshie
            BE BOLSHY - RECLAIM YOUR GARDEN!

            Comment


            • #7
              hello bulliedbutbolshieboutit

              GReat nickname

              Comment


              • #8
                bolshie,



                get some real / dummy cameras and fix them to the door, discrete but visible (anything with a flashing light display).

                get a mutt for the back garden and tell her he was rescued from a shelter coz he bites, put a drop lock on your garden gate and some 'decorative' fencing between u to chest height - a few roses bushes

                she is obviously bonkers and probably the reason the previous residents moved.

                also get some neighbourhood watch leaflets and drop them through every house on your close / street. then if anyone asks u can explain that u have been the victim of tresspass / criminal damage. if this old biddy & her demonic offspring think they can be recorded/bitten/ scratched /reported everytime they feel like having some fun they will think twice??

                and u can go back to living a normal life??

                Comment


                • #9
                  Onthemove, great advice



                  I think we've seen over the months that NFH come in all shapes, sizes, ages, locations. Matthew has posted a few stories about elderly NFH.



                  I wonder what goes on in the minds of people like your NFH, bolshie? Do they have minds?



                  I think you should inform the local police about what is happening. Keep the evidence to show them and keep a log of every incident. If the phone calls are still going on, contact BT. They can screen calls for you and maybe you should mention 'in passing' to the 'sweet old lady', that you've have some strange calls and you are thinking of contacting BT, tell her that the law now says nuisance phone callers can receive up to ten years in prison if they are caught. It might make her think twice about disturbing your sleep using the phone.



                  I'm sure you'll get lots more advice, support and sympathy from other members



                  Misty
                  "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    hi bolshie, sorry to hear of your problems....i am still amazed at how many different forms NFH's take...



                    Hmmm, is she definitely the full shilling? she could have signs of dementia???



                    i think putting up a cctv is a great idea and i think it will stop her in her tracks, if she is compus mentis and doing this deliberately.



                    have you taken her to task about this at all? or do you think that would stir her up even more?



                    how about getting all the rubbish that she deposits on your property and give it back to her (in a very dignified manner, saying 'i think this belongs to you..., it got on my property by accident')



                    i just have a feeling she might have a medical problem, in which case you have to act very carefully.
                    http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif



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                    Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr




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                    Comment


                    • #11
                      On the phone calls: easiest is to get call recognition (you need a compatible phone) or you can bar calls from a particular number. We had our number changed for us very quickly when we started getting nuisance calls during our dispute with Bob the Builder across the road... He still owes us the £1.25 the court awarded! (AND we can keep the £2,300 we didn't pay him because the work was so bad).

                      If you change your number remember to go ex-directory too! And phone enquiries, to check.. Or use the free BT website.
                      "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hey Bullied!



                        We have paid BT to have withheld numbers stopped, I think its about a fiver a quarter but it means people can not with hold their numbers, it has stopped the grief we were getting mainly from cold callers selling us stuff, we also had some woman who kept ringing instisting I was her sister and saying "what have you done with my sister!" like I had kidnapped her or something!!



                        the only people who have had problems getting through were NHS direct on the rare times we phoned them.



                        I would also contact the police about stuff coming through the letter box, as has been said, keep the stuff as evidence,,pick it up with a sandwich bag so your finger prints dont get on them.





                        keep sane and keep posting!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks so much for your support! It REALLY HELPS

                          Here's the rest of the sorry tale!
                          BE BOLSHY - RECLAIM YOUR GARDEN!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Sorry it's taken me a while to finish this - computer problems I'm afraid.

                            Anyway, a couple of years ago, after all that had happened, we called the police who sent someone round to see us. He listened to our account of what had been going on and went next door to see Sweetie and Son of Sweetie. I don't know what she told him but when he came out of her house he cast a withering look in our direction and drove off. She is a really convincing liar and does this 'butter wouldn't melt' act. I guess most people are fooled, for a while at least. I suspect that she and her son told the police some c*ck and bull story. I have heard that Son of Sweetie used to work for the police, not sure in what capacity, but that may have some influence.



                            The police visit seemed to calm things down for a while and the door knocks tapered off. The phone calls still happen once in a while but the bullying has taken a surreal turn now. This may sound like nothing much but it upsets me more than anything else - she's stopped me going into my garden! Every time I go out to hang my washing out or go into the greenhouse she starts this loud coughing. I know it probably sounds funny but it's spooked me as it only takes a few seconds from when I open the back door so she must be sitting waiting for me, listening out for my door opening, which, quite frankly, is barmy enough to be scary!

                            If Son of Sweetie is there, they both cough or talk really loudly, like shout to each other if you know what I mean. It I stay out there, loud music is blasted at me until I go in. It stops as soon as I go in so it's not a coincidence, it is deliberate. It also stops if my husband goes out, so it's me they're targetting. Once I was in the garden and 'f*** off!' was shouted by some other neighbours at the back of us, (Son of Sweetie's mates I think) so someone else has joined the 'bully group' now! He's a big, rough-looking guy, Son of Sweetie, (tattoos and all, skin-head haircut, nasty dog) so I think people are frightened of him, and he has got some nasty-looking mates who call at their house all hours of the day and night. Sometimes they park blocking our drive which I think it deliberate.



                            This summer I've hardly been out. I've started drying my washing in the tumble drier which feels a lot like 'giving in' but my stomach goes into knots when I think about going 'out there'. A friend came round one day to see if he could 'catch her at it' but of course, she could see from the front of her house when we get any visitors and doesn't do it then.



                            I've always thought of myself as a friendly, quiet, pleasant person (probably the ideal target) and wouldn't win a 'shouting match' - which I'm sure is what she wants. I don't like the feeling of hating someone, but boy, do I hate her and her yob son! I think they're trying to provoke me into doing something so they can really start, that's my intuition about it. So I don't, we just quietly try and get on with our lives but it's hard. I have had spells of depression over the last few years and am not the happy-go-lucky person I once was, nor is my hubby. I'm 56 but feel like I've aged 20 years in the last 8 since we moved here. We just don't know what to do. I don't want these lowlifes to make us move house, it's taken us ages to get it how we want it, and my grandchildren love it, but the thought of moving seems more and more attractive. But then Sweetie will have won won't she? And I'll feel more of a 'weed' than I do already.

                            Mrs Bolshie
                            BE BOLSHY - RECLAIM YOUR GARDEN!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thanks for the advice, onthemove, yes, I'll have a look for those dummy cameras - perhaps they should be called cameras for recording dummies?

                              You're right, she is bonkers - what a waste of the last few years of your life - eh?



                              Thanks Misty - I have phoned BT and have Anonymous Call Rejection now. I would reccommend it to anyone getting strange phone calls but there is one problem - if someone is ringing from a switchboard it usually automatically witholds the number but it's a small price to pay.



                              Hi Annabel, yes, I think she is bonkers but she can come across as a real sweetie, she fooled us for a long time. I would LOVE to tell her what I think of her but her son is a big bruiser and I'm sure she'd twist it round to make it look like it was us that were bullying her! I think she may have told the police that too.



                              Hey, Poor Tom - don't let him off the £1.25! So pleased you won the case but it's all hassle you don't need isn't it?



                              Thanks Beth, that's good advice, I'll start keeping the rubbish. Do you think the police would be able to take fingerprints from it? I'll try and stay sane but it's a mad, mad world.
                              BE BOLSHY - RECLAIM YOUR GARDEN!

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