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Why Cant Parents Let Kids Be Kids

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  • Why Cant Parents Let Kids Be Kids

    Hi all

    Im new to this forum s please forgive me if I go over the TOP........................ I am a single u to a 10yrd old daughter (who wouldnt say boooo to a fly and a 5 yr old son who is a terrorrrrrrrrrrrrr) My children may be a pest to me when at home (who doesnt have kids like that) but when out playing they are different!!! So many --- no so close neighbours have complained to me about my children even if they are not involved!!!!!!!!! Im so fed up with it!! To cut a very long long long story short -- a close neighbour of mine --who was my friend -- her eldest daughter and son got my daughter one day after school and surrounded her with 6-8 of their friends and threathened her!!!! like primary school.......... I spoke to the mother who has not spoken to me since this ---"October 2002" and has made my childrens lives hell!!! OK she has a partner living with her I dont so does that give her the right to torment my kids?? NO IT DOESNT........ I have asked her onseveral occasions to speak to her kids -- the last one being her 7 yr old daughter almost splitting my 5yr old sons head open"" what do I do??? Am trying to get moved away form here Northern Ireland Housing Ex. arent too keen on parents tormenting kids!!!!!! Does anyone else have probs like this and what did you do???

    I need all the help I can get.

    a very stressed out mum

  • #2
    Welcome to the forum!

    I really can relate to your problem and it makes me so angry to see the children suffer. I think that the children can be the people who may suffer most in an nfh situation, believe me, my children have. Since my problem started my children have suffered and that hurts more than anything else. Your nfh are typical. Most nfh's are bullies and their children tend to follow suit. There's no advice that I can give you, but I get through by showing my children even more than normal, that I love them to pieces and that I'm there for them whatever happens. I know that we do this anyway, but in an nfh situation, I think it makes a parent even more protective of their children than normal. Your nfh obviously knows that the easiest way to upset you is through your children, as most do, and are using this to their advantage. You only have to read through the 'my story's' to see this happening time and time again. It's not much fun, but it does help to know that you're not alone, in some strange way.

    Sorry I'm not much help, but keep your chin up. You've found the place where there are people who do care and offer some very good advice.



    • #3
      Hi Janzorkis and welcome to the board

      If there's one thing that makes my blood boil it's hearing about children being bullied!! And when adults are doing it too then I just despair! Some people don't grow up, they just grow bigger! They still think their pathetic childish bullying will work in the adult world. They may look like adults but they are stunted inside!

      It seems that right now your only option is to not let your children play outside. I think you'll find a few people on the board have experienced similar problems. When my children were younger (they're grown now) they also suffered from local bullies. I found the only way to deal with it was to take them out during school holidays or let them stay with family or friends. It's very difficult to deal with, especially if the bullies are very young. Have you tried speaking to the school about what happened to your daughter? Many schools nowadays have strategies with which to deal with bullying.

      You might also like to get in touch with Kidscape. They have an anti-bullying helpline. Their URL is: The Helpline is available at a local rate on 08451 205 204 Monday-Friday from 10.00am-4.00pm.

      Hope this helps, please come back often, especially if you want to rant or need a shoulder to cry on.

      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


      • #4
        Thanks for your replies guys, I know that 99% of the population have nfh. Some are worse than others but when it happens to you its the worst case seniro. I spoke to my daughters head-master who said he would deal with the matter but he took the other kids side!!! all because they are "perfect pupils" I was so peeved with him that I told him exactly what I thought of him and showed him the school handbook which clearly stated that bullying would not be taken lightly, well in our case it was ignored completley, I wrote to the school board and told them what was happening and they sorted it out for me. Thankfully no more occurrances in school. This weekend was reasonably quiet due to the fact I had to send my son to the caravan with my mum and took my daughter out with me. We are going to see a new house on Monday - private landlord - so Im hoping that I can afford the rent and will be able to move away from this awful hellhole soon. Next time I will keep myself to myself and not have "friendly" neighbours who are in fact NFH.

        Thanks again for your help. Will keep you posted to anything else going on.