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  • Nfh Claims We're The Nfh!

    What do you do when the NFH claims you are the NFH??

    We have lived in our house now for about 15 years. At first the NFH was the perfect neighbour, then a couple of years later for no apparant reason suddenly changed!. We have had to deal with them reporting us to the Police for various things that we haven't done. One we have, but it is very innocent - our children fetching their ball off the garden.

    This could be annoying if the NFH didn't have children that did exactly the same, and have done for years!(Although we never report them) We have been reported for blocking their driveway, yet never do this, the police even said when they came round that they had been keeping an eye out and had no evidence of this (well there wouldn't be, because we don't!).

    They have a couple of dogs that bark constantly and they never tell them to shut up, unless they have visitors. We used to have a dog, if the dog barked we always told it to shut up, although it was a rare occurance. We are dog lovers but it is very annoying to have the dogs barking all ,and I mean ALL, day.

    They constantly stare into our windows, although we just ignore them. The police even admit they are having their time wasted, but then they just report them for not doing their jobs properly! Is there anything we can do to stop this happening. We believe we are very good neighbours. The children are always in bed early, we don't make much noise at all and don't cause them any obstructions property wise.

    It isn't just us that they reports either, it's us and 4 other families on the same row of houses that we are friends with. We even used to help this family with small jobs round the house and have their kids over to play and have tea. I can't list all of the things they have reported us for or done to us as we have just had the final straw and reported them for threatening our children with their dogs. The only thing is we don't want to be petty and waste even more of the Police's time - but I can't see what else we can do. We have ignored everything for the past 8 years, but now feel at the end of our tether. Even the police have had enough of them.

  • #2
    Hi Maygirl and welcome to the Forum

    Sorry to hear about the nuisance you have had to suffer for the past eight years. That's a long time to have to live in an environment full of animosity.

    The behaviour of your neighbour from hell (nfh) is typical from reading other posts on this forum - particularly the traits of staring into windows and turning the tables in an attempt to make you appear the nfh and not the victim.

    Like Badger says, a bit more background information may help members to get a clearer picture of how and why the nfh started behaving in the way that they do.

    Has there been any violence, abuse (physical or verbal) or threats at all from your nfh?

    Is there any chance at all of trying to speak to them to find out what their problem is with you? There may be something that you are unaware of that is really frustrating for them - they may be dealing with this by complaining about you at every opportunity. If you feel that you couldn't face them on a one-to-one on your own, then like Badger, I agree that Mediation may be a possible option for you to go for.

    It also helps to know what accommodation you and your nfh are in. Do you and they own or rent (from private landlord, Council or Housing Association)? Depending on your answer, there may be other avenues that you can go down.

    From your post, you appear a strong person who has managed to cope with this situation extremely well and it is understandable that you now feel at the end of tether.

    You will get a great deal of support from the other members here who are all experiencing/ have experienced nfh and it really does help to have somewhere to go where people understand just what you are going through.

    Welcome again to the Forum Maygirl.


    • #3
      Hi Maygirl and welcome

      Sorry to hear you're experiencing harrassment from your NFH

      There's not much I can add to what Badger and Holly have already said. Although this seems to be a common situation, you move in, everything is fine for a while and then NFH behaviour starts.

      I know you'll get a lot of support and advice here. Look forward to hearing more from you

      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


      • #4
        Thankyou for your help. Basically I believe the rift may have started through one of our other neighbours that I mentioned before. I have been told that their daughters were playing together and some damage occured to another neighbours property, So the nice neighbour who's daughter was involved offered to pay for the damage that occured. The neighbour who's property was damaged said there were 2 people involved and that they should pay between them, it wouldn't be fair if just one person paid. Fair enough. So the neighbour went to the NFH and told them the situation. The neighbour slammed the door in the face of the nice neighbour after saying that they were picking on them. The nice neighbour was quite shocked. She ended up paying for the whole of the damage to be repaired. Although we weren't involved in the rift because we are friends with the family involved it seemed that they started ignoring us. We said hello when we saw them and tried to be friendly but just got blanked. When we mentioned it to our neighbours they said that they couldn't understand why they were being like that, although they did mention the rift. It seems that maybe since that the situation just esculated. The houses are privatly owned. They only shout at the children who play on the road, otherwise they just stop and stare at you giving you the "dead eye" and then claim that you are the ones using threatening behaviour to them!. The police at the moment are trying to get all the neighbours together to give accounts of their own experiences. I just wish their was some easy way of dealing with it. I think unfortunatly it has gone past the mediation stage. Apparanatly these NFH are at the police station at least once every two days fabricating stories. Unfortunatly the police have to investigate them, although they have refused to go out to the house anymore. Because the NFH has took matters further reporting the actual policemen, writing to various people, matters have to be investigated. In the past the reportings weren't as often and bearable (only just though) It is quite worrying though having policemen turn up at your door when you know you haven't done anything wrong - you just wonder what could have happened to family members etc, the fear of dread runs through you even if it is just for a minute - until you realise it's just the NFH making false accusations again. They have CCTV up and stand underneath the camera so they can't be seen staring at you and if anyone stares back, they get reported. We have given statements to the police, so i'll have to let you know if we have any success at putting an end to all of this. Sorry about it being a bit long-winded, I suppose it's nice to let off a bit of steam!! Did I mention that this has actually driven a family to move from a home in which they were perfectly happy? They also have vandal proof paint and barbed wire on a 4ft fence in the rear garden. It is quite an eyesore, especially as the all the other gardens are so well kept. There really is no need for it.


        • #5
          because these people are basically warped, they try and make you feel like the wrongdoer and i bet you do feel a bit guilty sometimes, like you may have overreacted or got things out of persepctive???? i know i did. i contemplated many times just going over to my NFH's house and offering to make peace. but then i remember its not US that did anything wrong and to make the first move would give the NFH the upper hand, they would think they had power over us. things would only get worse, i figures.

          anyway its a very common scenario judging by the stories i have read here so try not to take it to heart just remember you have done nothing wrong, and you have tried to be a good neighbour, only to have it shoved back in your faces.

          is it posible to completely ignore these people? you are very lucky other neighbours are on your wavelength and your side, can you adopt a strategy with them? if you all do absolutely nothing and carry on as if their house wasnt even there, how can they go to the police and say anything?

          so your NFH have put up barbed wire and antivandal paint, good. they obviously dont want contact with other people, give them want they want, and let them stew in it.!!!

          I decree today that life

          Is simply taking and not giving

          England is mine - it owes me a living

          But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

          Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr

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          I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar

          "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson

          The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward

          An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter

          Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron

          Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb

          There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux

          Carpe Diem

          Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne


          • #6

            Im sorry you are having such a hard time with your NFH, they seem weird and nasty. all the things that you described earlier seem a very real NFH trait, im wondering if the fact of you being friendly with the rest of the neighbours has something to do with their behaviour, sometimes jelaousy can be a key factor.

            also NFH will try to make out that its you who are the problem, trying to justify their behaviour by blaming you. I know its hard , try to ignore them, hopefully in the long run they will get bored with it.

            good luck for the future



            • #7
              Hello Maygirl,

              Sorry you too have NFH. Yours seem to have the usual traits as so many others blaming you etc. You and your good neighbours should stick together as it is in all your interests, keep your own logs of accounts that happen and get the other neighbours to do the same and if you should ever need them in the future it will be clear to authorities who is causing the problem. Is it possible for you to get CCTV? The neighbours might think twice if they see you are recording the events, there are two sides to every story so if the police see their recording show them yours.

              I know how frustrating it is, I'm moving house due to my NFH. Just try not to rise to them as these things escalate quickly and you could end up with WW3.

              Do they rent their house? If so contact their landlord.

              You could try mediation but who wants to face NFH, I tried it and it got worse!

              As my Dad always says "It won't always be dark at 6!"

              You will get lots of support from this site, there are plenty of great people here offering support.

              All the best.



              • #8
                Thankyou everyone for your replies, it's nice to know we're not alone! It does get hard sometimes and you actually start to wonder whether it really is you! Only for a second though!

                Reading some of the other postings has made me realise that even though it isn't pleasant having any type of NFH, some are worse than others. I feel very sorry for the lady and neighbours of the American "trailer trash" that have just moved into their nice neighborhood (an earlier posting) It must be a living nightmare for them.

                I will keep you posted and fill you in with all of the other details, and any solutions I might find along the way! As it says when you first join not to give too many details away if you are in an on-going dispute as it could be used against you.


                • #9
                  ive been reading all your responses to this problem and note a couple of you have suggested cctv, please be aware that due to new legislation these nfh actually have human rights!!! as we found out to our cost on friday , we are not allowed to film nfh doing things we are not allowed to film beyond our fence nor use professional surveillence equipment and if we continue we will be arrested the very nice policewoman actually told nfh this after he(nfh) had reported my husband to police as a paedaphile they came to investigate this but would not tell nfh to behave he had just threatened to smash hubbys f***ing face in!!what sort of hold do these people have over the authorities as nothing gets done to them . as a result of this latest incident we suffered nfh drinking from 8.30 am sat loud music from 10.30am and around 40+ adults and children having a street party until 4.30am this sun morning and despite several other residents reporting to the police , when they finally came all they said was there there be good neighbours and turn it down! not turn it off or else! and would you believe it theyre actually planning to this all over again tonight what bliss

                  sorry for going on a bit but im very tired and angry and need to sound off somewhere


                  • #10
                    if we continue we will be arrested the very nice policewoman actually told nfh this after he(nfh) had reported my husband to police as a paedaphile[/b]

                    This must be the modern day equivalent to the medieval accusations of witchcraft! How many times on this board have we heard of or experienced similar stories?

                    I wish I could say there was a chance things might change, magicelf, but it seems the system has completely broken down as far as dealing with NFH is concerned. Sorry to sound so negative, but it's all so depressing

                    "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                    • #11
                      > ive been reading all your responses to this problem and note a couple of you have >suggested cctv, please be aware that due to new legislation these nfh actually have >human rights!!

                      you can play it the other way also and declare in court that an imcompatability (thats a long word isnt it) exists between the interpretation of the human rights act because:

                      Human rights act paper


                      1). Article 1 protocol 1 specifies:-

                      You have the right to peacefull enjoyment of your posessions

                      2). Article 6:- the right to a fair trial.

                      CCTV footage can be entered as evidence in a court of law and therefore you have the entitlement to record it in accordance with the HRA as it then gives you the right to a fair trial, being that it is used as evidence, the only slip up that you can find yourself in is the Data Protection Act (fifth principle i think) the security of the data. (thats another story)

                      what else, oh yes.....

                      ARTICLE 8


                      1. Everyone has the right to respect for his private and family life, his home and his correspondence.

                      2. There shall be no interference by a public authority with the exercise of this right except such as is in accordance with the law and is necessary in a democratic society in the interests of national security, public safety or the economic well-being of the country, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others.

                      ARTICLE 14


                      The enjoyment of the rights and freedoms set forth in this Convention shall be secured without discrimination on any ground such as sex, race, colour, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, association with a national minority, property, birth or other status.

                      that should do it for now, the morel of the story,

                      tell the old bill that they are DUTY BOUND by code of practice to enforce the law for that is YOUR right and NOT their desicion.


                      • #12
                        Arrgh, our neighbours from hell are complete and utter pains. It seems that we can't really do anything about them unless we go to the great expense of a solicitor. As I mentioned earlier they have all the vandal proof paint etc on the rear garden. This is where it gets a bit complicated. We (both us and our NFH) rent land to make our gardens somewhat larger. The barbed wire and vandal proof paint are on the fence that separates the rented land. The fence that separates the gardens that come with the house (our property) is supposedly our responsibility. We always thought that the right border was our NFH responsibility with regards to fencing. We have now received a letter from our NFH that claims that it is our responsibility. When we were friends we put up the fence as we have two ponds. We didn't want their children to wander over while we were out and fall so we put up a fence to stop them from doing so. The fence has been up for quite a while and is a good fence and in good condition. We had been told by our nice neighbours that our NFH had been seen chipping at the concrete foundation for the post. We then began to notice little noises like chipping, but obviously we couldn't see what was happening. Then a few months ago there was quite a bad storm with high winds. One of the posts was blown over. Just one - the one that our nice neighbours had seen the NFh chipping at! We just thought well serves them right they will have to put another fence up now. We then find out that it is actually our responsibility (we are in the process of checking the deeds). So what do we do??? We have called a solicitor but as it would cost £500 + to carry out any action for getting them done for damage we can't afford it. We have taken the letter to the police who have just photocopied it. the letter claims that their dogs are only barking to protect their boundary. This is rubbish as they bark when nothings there and they bark when inside too. We have also been accused of shouting at and threatening the dogs! I must admit we have shouted at them to shut up, but if the owners are just going to let them bark ALL day... If we are responsible for the fence at the rear are we responsible for the fence at the front too?