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Why Are People Like This ?

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  • Why Are People Like This ?

    Hello all,

    I am new to the forum and please excuse if I ramble on.

    I am no angel,I am a conviced criminal, who as done time. Many years ago I was a very nasty person.

    Some 18 years a go I met my wife.I went to college and then to university and got myself some education .About ten years ago I got a job working offshore and we then bought our property in Scotland. The house and the surrounding grounds are beautiful as is the views over the Solway. For the first time in my life I was truly happy. we now have three children and I am a law abiding person.

    Three years ago my new neighbour moved in.His name is "wally".I live in a hamlet of house all in there own grounds, so privacy was never an issue.We went out of our way to welcome *wally* and his wife to the area, even going as far as to invite them into our house for meals.It some became apparent that he had a nasty steak in him.He gets drunk and is violent

    A few month after he moved in he started in on one of my other neighbours, *Pete*, a really nice elderly bloke of 85. He fought in the war. Wally called him out and said he was a coward.How brave !!

    Me and my wife decided to remain cival but to try to keep him at arms lenght.

    Pete had been telling me that Wallywas making sexual remarks about my wife. I felt it best to let it slide.

    I came home from an offshore trip. My wife gave me a glass of wine and said she had something to tell me , but I had to promise not to do anything silly.I promised. *Wally* had come to the door, while I was away. He had a bottle of wine and two glasses. He winked at my wife and asked her if she would like company for an hour or two.My wife is from Glasgow and soon put him in the pricture.I was furious, not at Sue, my wife but at my this person.

    I did not react but choose to ignore him.

    *Wally* will not let it go.We simply do not acknoledge his presence.Some two years ago I noticed him in his garden planting trees . I asked though clenched teeth what he was doing. Planting 80 foot trees, not one or two but fifty. My house is really close to the boundary and my view is accross it. My picture perfect view is being ruined.

    Heated words where exchanged.I exploded.I grabbed whatever was close by, an hammer,and offered him out. He ran. I am not proud of my actions.I simply want to live in peace with my wife and children.

    *Wally* as pushed and pushed though other incidents for a conforntation, whereby I try my hardest to pull back from it.He has vandalised parts of my property, when I am offshore. the police though sypathetic are powerless as he simply denies it all.

    I know myself if pushed any further that this will true turn nasty. How can you just get NFH of your back?

    This is not the full story, I would be here all night to list everything.

    *Wally* is a bully and a coward. I just want him to go away.

    Thanks for listening Kevin

    (names have been changed in this story)

  • #2
    hi Kevin,

    thanks for being so honest with us. I am really pleased you have managed to turn your life around.

    so to hear your neighbour is trying to make your life hell.

    Please do not react to him!!!

    if you do think what you could lose.



    I dont know if these links might help you with the tree problem at all, everything is worth a shot.

    the other stuff...well you need to record everything down.

    you can print of some logs from the main is

    log sheets

    write it all down, dates times what happened etc.

    you are being harrassed by this man and your wife sexually.

    it may be worth investing in a cctv camera, especailly if you are working off shore, it will help back your wife up with incidents she has reported. other wise it may be seen by the police as one word against the other.

    I know you will get loads of advice here, keep strong..and calm, ignore this individual to the best of your ability. It is hard but you can do it.

    best of luck and please visit when ever you can


    • #3
      Hi Kevin,

      You live in a beautiful place - I'm jealous. I had a job interview up your way a year ago, but still live in the Midlands where what you & I would call flat is known as a hill! Plus wall-to-wall motorways and fences round any open space.

      I almost invited my dogs to spend some time with you for a holiday, but then thought you could do better than that: would Sue feel safer in the house with a big dog around, like our German Shepherd (no, she's not for sale: buy your own!)? Sounds like an ideal place for a dog - I assume your garden's a fair size.

      What about a cctv camera - or a webcam? can you access the net from your offshore job? Might put him off if he knew you were keeping an eye. Or might have tape his wife could get to see. Or does she tolerate his fantasies?

      I had the idea that Scots law protects your right to light, but I suspect only if you've lived in a place for longer than you have. Or it might be if the house has been there for a long time. Probably doesn't apply in your situation, but check it out. I thought it was called 'ancient lights', but can't find anything under that name in a web search.

      Hasn't there been recent legislation about Leylandii? You didn't say what trees he's planting.

      Trees are plants, and susceptible to disease, wind, and airborne weedkillers which accidentally spread from adjoining properties. Sometimes it's hard to tell what causes a young tree to die... But you'd probably want to be extra-squeaky-clean in the legal department.

      I'm glad you've been able to get your life back together: I had a 'professional' incident which went on my record 10 years ago, and although now restored to good standing, have not yet been able to get back even to where I was before. Sorry to sound coy about the details. Just wanted to show some solidarity.
      "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)


      • #4
        Hello all,

        Thank you for your replies and advise.I have looked through other srories posted in the forum and my NFH looks quite tame compared to some of the stories.

        I would like to take the time to complete my story and once again I am sorry if I ramble on.

        Since the hammer incident Wally as waged , what I could call, a phycolgical war against me an my family.Rather than be upfront he hides and shoots from a distance.

        The wages his petty war on various fronts. His main front is when I am away from home.

        To get to his house he as to come across my property, this is where he starts.During the night, with my wife and children alone in the house he has pulled down trees, kicked over fences, thrown gravel at the windows,kicked over the rubbish bins, shouted obseneties and banged on the doors.One incident where the jury is still out was,My wife noticed stains agains the side of our house.they were waist high. I cannot say for certain that it was urine but the stains appearred over night.Feel free to draw your own conclusions.

        When I come home he tends to crawl back under his stone.We have had a few though. One day my son ,he must have been five at the time came inside and asked me what a w*****k was.He had heard somebody outsie shouting it. Another time me and my wife were sat in our garden. Hiding in his grounds he shouted at the top of his voice" You're both going to die you b*****ds".We did not react but laughed.

        His other method is to sent threats to my house via my other neighbours. we have cats, he threated to put snares in his grounds. We have dogs, two old boys ,he implies that it would be a shame if "someboy" threw laced meat into my garden.One chilling threat that came our way was the fact that my wife and children are alone in the country at night "anything could happen".

        Wally continues his schoolboy antics.

        I heard with delight a success story whereby one member choose to ignore and not rise to the bait. This is the tactics we have adopted. I hope it pays off. I will not give him the pleasure.

        Sorry to ramble but this completes my story and I feel better to have got it off my chest. I welcome anybodies thoughts or advise, thank you for taking the time to read this posting.



        • #5
          oh Kevin,

          please never feel you are rambling! this is where you can vent all you like!

          you need to get stuff like this off your chest otherwise it just makes you more angry.

          this Wally sounds like a true W****r! pardon the pun!!

          you relly need to get back on to the police and tell them what you have told us.

          threatening behaviuor, trepassing, crimanal damage etc!

          it is dreadful.

          are you and your wife logging it all down now?

          if not why must write it down!!!!

          I am quite concerend for you and your family, wally sounds like a dangerous man who needs help.

          will you also contact the SSPCA about the threats of laced meat, they might be able to offer you some advice. also there is always the possility (and NFH are great at this) of a counter allegation. it covers you to a certain degree as all these calls are logged.

          keep posting and be cool!


          • #6
            Hi Kevin,

            I can only echo the advice given by others. I tried looking up 'ancient lights' on google, not much there I'm afraid.

            You and you family really must log all these incidents. Also, as Sue says, cctv can be invaluable.

            For whatever reason your NFH is trying to goad you into doing something you might regret. Maybe you should also get a small dictaphone and record his abuse. Some people just revel in causing other people misery and your NFH sounds like one of those. He's on a power-trip, seeing how far he can goad you. Ignore him as much as possible, just as you have been doing.

            It's possible he might just get bored and leave you alone, but morons like him seldom do that. Gather as much evidence as you can against him and try to get the police to do something. Don't take no for an answer.

            Good luck, hope things improve soon

            "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


            • #7
              Hi Kevin and welcome to the Forum

              This situaiton with your nfh will just get worse I think if he his allowed to carry on.

              From the posts here, it would seem like there has definitely been harassment (sexual, verbal and physical) and threats. The Protection from Harassment Act 1997 (PFHA) is a piece of legislation which should be able to help you.

              If you click on the legislation section of the main nfh website, you will find some more information about the PFHA - read it, digest it, then call your local Police station and tell them everything.

              You need to record every incident that happens with "Wally" - Beth has already given you the link to blank sheets you can use.

              You really need some input from the local Police with this one, for your family's safety. If you have internet access at home, why not encourage your wife to join the Forum - we are usually around to offer support and she may get some comfort from other members on the nfh issue when you're offshore.

              Take care of yourselves.


              • #8
                Hi Kevin,

                Sorry to hear about your awful nfh. Perhaps the only way he thinks he can find happiness is by robbing yours. I've met the type, and moved my family away from them.

                In theory the criminal justice system should prevent this. I see you've been given advice here on logging it in a diary, cctv etc.

                I remember feeling incensed when local plod advised me to ignore my kids hearing the filth our nfh shouted.

                I expect the options seem to be criminal courts, moving house, or severe retribution which could mean prison again. Whatever you do, I wish you luck.

                Enjoy happy times with your family. Don't let that a***hole rob you of that.

                All the best. Keep us posted.


                • #9
                  Hi Kevin, crikey don't ever apologise for talking here, it's what it's all about eh!

                  Sorry for the late welcome by me and thankyou for your honest and introducing post, I'm sorry to hear about the problems you're having with the NFH and you've had great advice already, so I won't duplicate it.

                  Although we're sad to have you hear 'cos of your problem, you've just made yourself 250+ new friends who understand totally where you're coming from.


                  • #10
                    Hello all,

                    Thank you to everybody that has taken the time to offer advise and their support.

                    The police have been involved in this, four times now.Three of the times the incidents have been logged. On the fourth occasion they paid Wally a visit. He point blank denied everything, his wife backed him up."That bloke up the road attacks me with an hammer and is now making this wild accussation etc etc......."I'm sure everybody knows the script.I must admit though, I have never mentioned the verbal abuse or sexual harrassment.

                    I am tried though other means. I have seen a solicator twice now. the first time was about the trees.They are on his property, sorry can't help.The second time was about his access over my property..He has a legal right of access, sorry can't help.He did say there was some law, I think it was called a common law of civilaty.This states you must conduct your self in a proper and correct manner when going over somebody elses property, if not your access could be revoked.It is a long and costly prossess and he advised against it.

                    I am offshore at the moment. Before I came away this time I did talk to the local crime prevention officer then me and my dad spent the better part of two days beefing up my home security.

                    The road where Wally does most of his dirty deeds were fitted with automatic security lights, from one end to the other. It is impossible to get close to my house without one coming on.We fitted stand alone alarms to all the out buildings and sheds.We put in garden lighting into our front garden. We fitted sliding locks to all the outside doors and put in a new Yale lock to the back door.Everybody has advised cctv, this the local crime prevention officer also advised.We did put up three highly visible dummy cameras and fitted "cctv in opertaion" signs for him to see.The house already had an alarm fitted but we put stand alone vibration detectors on all the windows facing the road which give off a deafening noise if the windows are touched, or things thrown at them.I was expecting some sort of reaction before I came away, he said or did nothing.

                    When I offshore my wife keep in touch via email but she will not mention to me the things he gets up, she knows it upsets and annoys me.My wife has dealt with this situation, far better than I ever could. She is totally unphased by his behaviour and has kept me from making matters worse, she calmed me down and has kept a level head. The last think she wants to talk about when I get home is the village idiot.We will talk about it though. I will get home have a kiss and cuddle, a nice meal and a glass of wine and eventually I will ask the question "Ok whats he done this time?"

                    I will post my wifes reply

                    Many thanks to all your advise and support. Kevin


                    • #11
                      My wife has dealt with this situation, far better than I ever could[/b]

                      Mine did too. Where would we be without 'em. I've heard it said that women, having to cope with childbirth, are better equipped to cope with trauma than men. Reckon there must be something in this.

                      Difficult as it may be, do avoid 'losing it' on this twerp. Whilst he may be fully deserving of the punch-in-the-face-and-then-some award for outstanding conduct, he isn't worth wrecking your life for. It could be he wants you to assault him so he can sue for compo - it as been known.

                      Take care. Hope things are ok back home. Keep us posted