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  • Number 13!

    Oh heck, where to start. Ive had hell from this woman and her husband for two years now. The whole street is at their wits end with her, but Im the silly toad who moved in next door!

    Ive just had a policeman in my house saying he thinks I need to go to the police station and be questioned. Apparently she has said I was harassing her on Tuesday at 4.30pm. I was miles away at that time, and can prove it, so was allowed to stay here!

    I have had stones thrown at myself and my son in our own garden, chicken bones are chucked over almost daily for the dogs (how much chicken can this couple eat?), she screams abuse at us whenever we step outside, the council, housing association and the dog warden, planning officer etc all agree she needs help. However, as she owns her property, the Housing association say they will not do anything about her.

    She has even thrown rubbish into my garden and then called the council and accused our garden of being a rat trap! She has been caught trying to photograph us through our lounge window eating our dinner (climbed over fence with ladder, trhen walked through the garden!) and has been known to chase one of the mums down the road screaming abuse at her and her children - I was there, I couldnt believe it, this woman was a dinner lady!



    Im just here for some moral support, and hopefully some leads on how to tackle this. If she keeps this up, I could lose my home through absolutely no fault of my own. I have a son, and another baby on the way, and neither |I nor Chris need this. Moving is not an option for either of us a t the moment.



    Please excuse the rant, but I feel so much better for it!

    Jane Ashwell

  • #2
    Welcome to the forum Jane (and Chris!)



    This must be really stressful to live with - I'm really glad you could prove where you were on Tuesday, this woman is an utter nightmare it seems. She obviously is displaying some very disruptive (bitter?) and outrageous behaviour and is probably pretty scary too!



    The irony is here, is this woman seems to be harassing you and your family it seems - not you harassing her (also, why did it take the police two days to come round and then do it so late at night?!).



    It sounds to me like you're being stalked and harassed from the events you've described. The Protection from Harassment Act has been mentioned many times here on the board and it could well help you, we have short snippets on the NFH webpages and the full act is here at HMSO. Have you a community police officer you could ask for advice? Otherwise, contact your local police station and ask them about their view on this and their advice.



    It could help you to define what the offences of harassment are and constitute; as Act's go it's a good one to read (not so stuffy and long like some of them are!).



    Having stones thrown at you, also is physical abuse and you should report this to the police (so is any verbal abuse, report this too). Keep a log of *all* incidents that happen to you or your family if this hasn't been started already. Little things all add up, record everything you experience - conversations, intimidation, aggression, etc.



    Why on earth was she trying to photograph you through the window? ('evidence' you were eating chicken?!).



    Just because she owns her own house does not give her more rights than you, it doesn't excuse her behaviour or allow her to do it either.



    Are there any other issues, unnacceptable noise from her, bonfires, health risks etc coming from her? I'm just thinking you could ask your Local Authority Environmental Health Dept to help - she is littering your garden purposely with waste, thus encouraging vermin - see if they can advise further, contact them if you haven't already.



    Can you get recorded video evidence too? CCTV style, etc?



    Mediation could be an option, but to be honest it doesn't sound too fruitful an idea here, but have a look at the Mediation links for some info anyway.



    You must keep you and your family safe and well - contact the police if anytime you feel in danger. I know it's obvious to say, but sometimes we don't do this for fear of looking foolish or silly, or sometimes overlook the obvious in the heat of a stressful moment.



    You are not at fault here. Can I ask what started this chain of events, anything specific or did it just occur suddenly? You say other people are also targeted so it doesn't sound personally aimed?



    You're also not to blame for moving in next door to her - don't blame yourself, how were you to know?!



    Hope you come back often We're always here!

    Comment


    • #3
      This lady is in her easrly sixties, her husband is about 70, and dont be fooled - he is one of these chaps with weight training equ in the garage. Even at his age he is scary, and a semi-recluse. Only leaves the house to scream incoherently at neighbours. I dont think he is off his trolley, just that he believes whatever the wife tells him (and Id love to know what that is!)



      It all started when after I had been here for about a year (she used to make a blooming nuisance of herself popping in at all hours, but you try hard to get along with neighbours dont you. Shed never been to Crufts, so I took her to Crufts when i was showing the dogs there - she doesnt drive, so I would taxi her asbout if she needed it to shop etc) anyway, letters started to come to my address for her. I asked her one day, if she couldnt have the sender get the address right (with small child and dogs, letters often got nibbled or flushed down loo before I got to them). She said that it was her ex husband and she was having an affair with him, so letters couldnt go to her house. At this time, I got on well with her husband - thought he was a bit strange, but a very clever chap (hate him now, but still respect his woodworking ability etc) so I said that that was none of my business, but I didnt want to be involved, and any further letters I would put in postbox as return to sender. Next thing I know, I was repairing a kennel roof and her husband starts hurling stones over the fence at me and my son (then age three) and screaming abuse. I called the police who warned them off. Many things have happened since - I rarely involve the police as I think they are too busy to be bothered with this, but if she keeps this up, I could be evicted. Housing assoc isnt here to see the rights and wrongs - will just note that I am being warned by police re harassment! They say they can do nothing for us as they own privately. Contacted a solicitor today, and will be challenging that idea!

      Thank you so much for all the support. I actually feel worse today than I did last night. I know I have a lot of dogs, but I work so hard to keep them clean and quiet. The dogs at the other end of the road annoy us all. They bark incessantly, and thank heavens mine cant be bothered to answer! Im terrified she will end up actually killing one of them. Im becoming afraid for myself, my son and my animals. Chris (partner) is in the Isle of Man at the mo, and I think this is the reason they are actingup again. Because I have no one else here to plead our case. Im lucky enough to have the total support of all the other neighbours in the street, many of whom have had problems with her. She quit on them one by one when they bought their houses. I just cannot afford to at the moment.

      Thanks again

      Jane

      Jane

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Jane,



        I'm so sorry to hear about your NFH problems. This woman sounds like she is in dire need of psychiatric help. Either that or an ASBO slapped on her and her bully of a husband. How dare she involve you in her affair with her ex-husband without your knowledge!!!



        It is absolutely disgusting that the police say there is nothing they can do! Matthew has mentioned the Protection from Harassment Act and a few people on this board have successfully had them served on their NFH. It might the way to go. One person downloaded a copy and took it along to his local police station who then acted on it.



        But you must keep a diary and log every incident. If your neighbours are solidly behind you ask them to keep diaries as well. The more evidence you gather, the more likely it is that the police will act. Cctv cameras are also a good idea and carrying a dictaphone around with you to record any verbal abuse.



        My local HA has told me that if they think a home-owner is causing trouble they would take legal action against that person. So when your HA says they can't do anything, what they mean is they don't WANT to do anything. Try going back to them and ask them what strategies they have in place to deal with antisocial behaviour problems. Then ask them to apply them!



        Sometimes a letter to the Chief Constable won't go amiss. It will probably be passed down the chain of command but at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing a senior officer will be aware of your problem.



        Good luck, I really do hope you can get someone in authority to do something about this totally disagreeable couple.



        Misty
        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi Jane and welcome



          The cheek of the nfh having her ex send letters to you.... .



          We see the same start to nfh issues a lot. You try and bend over backwards to be nice and friendly and then something happens and everything gets turned on its head. Usually the nfh try to make out it is you who is the perpetrator and not them.



          Hopefully by following the advice you've been given above, you will see some action taken.



          You can come back here often and get as much support as you need, and when have Ranter's Corner whenever you feel like venting your spleen.



          Welcome again and good luck.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi



            Two major points –



            You say “the whole street is at their wits end”. When this is the case, get in touch with your Local Councillor. He / She are elected by you (the public) to serve you. They will hold a regular surgery in your area. Gather as much factual information (dates, times, photographs etc) and if you can, get other affected residence to go with you. If you are fortunate to get support and commitment from others, your councillor will be able to arrange a venue for a full residence meeting.



            What is the value of all of this? Your local councillor is the key to the Council door. Many people on this site mention that they have contacted the Council to no avail. The Council is a huge warren of chambers and departments. You therefore need insider knowledge, this is where your local councillor is best suited to help you. Your councillor may not know everything, but he/she will certainly be able to find out and even represent your interests if required.



            I have had several meetings with my council regarding such matters. For these, our Local Councillor bought many departments (and outside agencies) on our behalf. These have included the Racial and Safety Office, the Cabinet Member for Housing, the Director of Housing, the local Police, Social services and most importantly ‘us’, the residence. Unbelievable all of these people / agencies work independently to each other with very little communication. (hence why “Anti Social Behaviour Orders” very rarely get off of the ground!)



            Originally the housing association that we had been dealing with in relation to this ignored complaints from the affected community. Thanks to the overwhelming pressure they have received since, they don’t ignore us now!

            Comment


            • #7
              thanks Eebo,



              some good advice there, never under esimate the power of the councillors and MPs.

              unfortunatly they are more willing to help near election time.



              but persevre with this line of defence, as eebo says, we voted these people in to power (even if you did not vote for them they do not know that!)



              you can get their details from your local council website, most councillors have email address' these days to.

              Comment


              • #8
                I can certainly try our local councillor - she has brought her grandson round on a few occasions to see the dogs (hes a bit scared of dogs, and mine are very calm and used to kids) but she takes the nfh to car boot sales with her every Sunday morning, so I think she will be reluctant to help. As you say though, if I get other neighbours to join forces, then she cant disbelieve all of us can she.

                Thanks so much for the advice. Still cant get a reply from this policeman to pin down EXACTLY what Im supposed to have said ? done except one chap at the station said that she has accused me of making an avbusive call. I admit, I did ring her (too scared to speak to her in person) and asked her why she was in my front garden photographing my (road legal) motorcycle. She screamed that I was f***ing mad and hung up. Now , this is the b***h who called me screaming abuse 5 times between 1.30am and 2am on new years day (no - we werent having a party, we were in bed asleep!) Does anyone know how I can get proof she made these calls? I only answered one of them, but the dog warden has the abusive note left pinned to my front door. And no, the other neighbours say my dogs never make a sound, but she claims they bark non-stop. On one occasion she claimed they had barked all day for a few days, they had been in boarding kennels for a fortnight while I was redecorating! Shes got blooming good hearing is all I can say!

                Sorry, Ill redirect tothe ranters corner I think!

                All the best

                Thankyou for the site. It is the only thing thats got me to sleep this week!

                Jane Ashwell

                http://mysite.freeserve.com/granadan

                Comment

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