No announcement yet.

My neighbours

This topic is closed.
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • My neighbours

    I and my family moved into a new house approximately 18 months ago and it was council at the time.

    I recognised my neighbour as when i was younger i had been in a jazz band and she was in the same one.

    Things seemed to be alright at first and we got on really well going into each others house for coffee and she was pregnant at the time and when she had her little boy I bought her a gift for the baby.

    We had some friends and their children around one night to say thankyou for helping us to move in and we also invited the neighbours who came along with their three children. We were having a good night and everyone was getting along fine and joking with each other and we had our video camera out to film some of the night. My neighbour went into her house with the baby and they next thing i know her husband had disapeared and she came back around for her children. My friend told me that she seemed really mad and was upset so i went around to talk to her and she said that her husband had gone in with his shirt ripped and she immediatley thought that one of the lads had jumped on him until he told her was caryying on with a five year old boy and he ripped his shirt. I offered to have it fixed as my friend is a dress maker and she said it could not be fixed so i offered to pay for a replacement and she said no it does not matter (the thing is i have seen him wearing the same shirt).

    Their Daughters then started to knock on the bedroom walls adjacent with my son's room and there eldest daughter was complaining to my son at school about him making a noise by banging on the bedrom walls. At the time he had a wooden bed and i put it down to this and got him a divan bed and moved it to the other side of the room and we had no complaints about it after that.

    The children from next door two girls one the same age as my daughter started to go out to play along with a girl up the street and i would find they would ask my daughter if my son was going out to play as the girl next door liked him but as my son is not into girls he was not bothered. My son had some of his friends coming around to play with him and then the girls next door started to get interested in my sons friends and they stopped coming around.

    When my children and the girls next door went to the shop one day they were telling my daughter to run away from her brother and kept saying he was weird he is also afraid of dogs and they used to tease him and tell him a dog was after him and he used to run home.

    The eldest girl from next door beat my son up at school one friday and she got a detention for it the following week and her mother said to me i thought you would have come around to talk about it and i told her i wanted to wait to see what the school had to say about the situation first. I then invited her into my house to talk about it with her daughter and my son. Her daughter denied everything but a member of staff had seen what had happened. My neighbour was not very happy that my son had not got any detention and left my house saying she would make sure that he did (but he never did so i can only presume that he was innocent from causing any trouble).

    Things seemed to cool down and started to get a bit better after that with little things happening. I had the council around one day to check on the dividing wall as it falling to bits and the coucil inspector was tapping on the walls to see where the problems were and someone from next door was tapping back and when i saw the mother in the back garden I said to her it is not me tapping on the walls its the council and she told me it was her daughter tapping back.

    The neighbours next door husband who works in double glazing was renewing there flashing one day and my toilet window was open and he was looking in and saying get off the throne and she said to him is someone in there like and i was hanging out the clothes in the garden and went to my back door and said to her no there is nobody in.

    I have an outbuilding to the rear of my property and it is joint with the neighbours and i would find that when i go out to get something she would also go out and kept saying to me by your outhouse is tidy so we put a lapped fence up to stop her looking through.

    We also used to take her Daughters out on bike rides with us and we also had to fix there bikes for them first as they were all punctured.

    We have another neighbour who moved into the street 6 months before me and she has 3 daughters one 26 one 15 and one 11 and when my children were out one day they asked them if they wanted to play and my daughter came and asked me and said play with them if you want to so they did and my next door neighbour was out doing her garden and she came to wall and said to me "what you doing lettting them play with them they smoke, drink and take drugs " she also said "that her children would have nothing more to do with my children if they continued to play with them". Well i thought your children have been nasty to my children but never said anything but i did say to her "well they have done nothing to me and i don't know what they are like and that if my children wanted to play them it was ok with me and that i liked to make up my own opinions about people and not take the word of others" I don't think was very impressed with that and she started to get worse.

    We removed a wall to rear of our property and installed a concrete hard-standing and the next day her children were out playing with a ball and we asked them to keep it off the concrete and they did not so after quite a few times of it coming it into the garden my husband took it off them and went to give it to there parentsbut there was no answer the children then came out with a tennis ball and proceeded to hit off our 2 cars so went out to give them the sponge back, later on their mother came around balling and shouting and we explained what was going on and that we had tried knocking on there door to ask them ask them to stop and her husband came around and said to my husband "don't you tell my wife to shush" and asked if we thought the children were doing it deliberately and we said yes and as we have a security camera installed we even offered to show them how many times the balls was coming into the garden.

    The next day they continued to do they same thing and my son tried to stop them from getting the ball and her daughter hit my son. The day after that i was hanging my washing out and she came around and threatened me also on cctv she said to me "if your son touches my daughter one more time i will be taking it out on you" i replied that he did not touch her and that i had it all on camera and she said she was going to get my cctv took off me and also my internet and i asked her whats the internet got to do with anything and she replied i was filming her children and distributing it over the internet which i would not even have a clue about how to do such a thing i told her i was not filming her kids i was filming my property and that is on 24/7 as we had been broken into 2 times in the last house we had, and she also said that because we did not have any gates on our hard-standing that anyone could park there, she then proceeded to ask me how long i had been taping and i said i have told you 24/7 she then asked me if was taping now and I repeated 24/7 all day every day she then proceeded to tell me my daughter was drinking, taking drugs and smoking and that she would even take me to the shop where she buys her cigerettes ( in only give my daughter £1 a week to spend on sweets) and that my son has no friends and is weird etc she aksed to see the tape from the day before and i said to her "so you can tape over" it she said no i was going to get it for her but she proceeded to shout insults so I turned around shut the door and told her if she wanted to see it to get the police up. She then went home and I continued to get my washing in she returned 2 mins later with her baby in her arms and said i want to see the tape now and said to her no she asked again and i asked her to please leave my property i kept repeating this phrase all the time to her between her aggressive insults i went to close my door and she pushed it back open when i eventually got the door shut she kicked it and said i was going to get a smack in the gob and swore at me calling me names etc. I phoned the police and they came out and warned her.

    I was at the school collecting the kids one night when she walked up and threatened me (this was also reported)

    Her daughter tied my daughter up at the youth centre and was hiting her one day and I reported this to go down on record in-case any further incidents ocurred.

    My nasty nieghbour has also taking to putting her rubbish in my bin on bin day when i put it out to get emptied (she does this while i am out) as hers is always overflowing and she also throws little bits of rubbish onto my drive (chewing gum, crisp packets, pastry, bread and biscuit wrappers).

    My nasty neighbour caught me in out street one day and told me to keep my daughter out of the trouble with the other neighbour as it was going to kick off big time and she also said something about someone putting it around school that her daughter had done something to my son and I said I did not know about it so I phoned the school and they told me it was a pack of lies that the head of year had not phone her and i believe the school as the person that is supposed to have phoned my neighbour is not my sons head of year and would have no dealings with him.

    I was walking down from school one night with my good neighbour and my nasty neighbour came to my front door i only opened it as far as my security would allow me to, she informed me the police would be coming to see me as she had made accusations that my good neighbour had pushed or nugded her daughter on the way down from school i told her i had not seen such an incident and she accused me of lying and said i was going to get a smack in the gob i shut my front door and she kicked it i have this conversation on a dictaphone tape as i did not at that time have a security camera on the front of the house (i do now). I informed my good neighbour about the accusations and i went to the police station to play them the tape and to tell them the accusations were false about my good neighbour but my good neighbour was cautioned later on that evening.

    My good neighbour and myself had previously tried to get the local council to send out a mediation officer but nothing had happended about it.

    By this time we were extremely fed up with all that was going on and we decided to go to see a solicitor as my neighbours daughter had been beaten up on the way down from school from the children next door there were witnesses but unforutunatley their parents would let them make statements to the police.

    my solicitor said that i should have not let her get away with the first incident and the police should have locked her up then but i said i just went along with what the police advised and at that time it was to caution her. He said i may have enough evidence to go for an anti-harrassment order but it could cost me 2.5 -3 thousand pound which i don't have. My solicitor telephoned a sergeant at durham and asked him to come out and take statements from me and said that he usually finds a night in the cells deals with this sort of thing swiftly and that it would better at this time than going for an anti-harassment order. The sergeant came out on the night time and persuaded my husband and i to try for mediation rather than a costly anti-harassment order and we said ok but one more incident and thats it.

    The next day i went to the post office to collect a parcel for my husband and on my way back home i was sending him a text mesage and my neighbour was heading towards me with the baby in the pushchair there was no where for me to go to avoid her and when was walking past she stopped and said thats handy and she pushed me into a metal barrier i immediately phoned the police and they sergeant and a pc came out to meet me at my house and the pc spent 5.5 hours taking statements from me they waited almost a week before arresting my neighbour and taking her for questioning she admitted being aggressive towards me but blamed the school for everything else she was doing to me saying they had not done enough to sort out the situation out but her aggressive accustions were during the six weeks holidays and the children were not at the same school.

    They released her on police bail and guess what after a month they came out and informed me that the assault was not going to go anywhere as there was no witnesses and the cps did not think they could win the anti-harrassment as i had probably made the situation worse by asking her what the internet had to do with things etc.

    At this point i fealt really depressed and they only thing on my mind was suicide i could not stop crying and could not eat any food and all i wanted to do was lock myself in the house or to to just go away and disappear and not come back.

    Things have not got any better with the children at school her children are constantly threatening my daughter and her friend (my good neighbours daughter) and they have hit and beaten them and broke there equipment but unfortunaely no one in the class wanted to make statements.

    The headmaster took 4 of the children concerned into his office and told them that if they could not say anthing nice about each other to say nothing at all they agreed but later that week they went around telling other children that my son did not know who his real dad is (this is untrue) as it is my husband, that i was a proper b*tch, that they wish my husband and i would have an arguement and he would leave me that my good neighbour was a prostitute and went down the street picking up young boys that my neices and nephews come over and bang on the walls and that there mam gets annoyed becasue it wakes the baby up and she phones the police (my nieces and nephews dont come over much and they dont bang on the walls).

    My good neighbour has a job at the school now and they are constantly accusing her of doing things which are untrue as the lunchtime assistants go around in pairs and other members of staff are aware of the situaton and are keeping a close eye on them all.

    My neighbours parents parked outside between the 2 houses and i could not get my car out to take my daughters friend home i went and asked if she could move her car as it was difficult to get out she came out and said to me "you can fit a bus though there can you drive love did you pass your test you want to go back and learn to drive" she had me reversing and pulling forward to try to get through the gap. I eventually wound down my window and said to her "there is not enough room i dont want to hit this car on my right and I certainly do not want to hit your car" she replied "i would advise you against that love" she did eventually move her car and she watched me returning and stood at the window and watched my everymove.

    My nasty neighbour has parked a van infront of my drive and i thought he had just say allowed me enough room to get out and as i won't speak them and i have been advised this by the police and my solicitor i phoned the police about obstruction and an officer asked her to ask him to move it a couple of inches when he got in from work he went to his van put the key in the lock played with it for ages and then turned around and said F**k em i am not moving it. The next day she said to me over the fence "you know what you are ....." i did not hear the rest as i just walked into the house and ignored her. I phoned the police the next day again as he had not moved the van and i had noticed that both my husbands car and mine had a scratch on the passenger side wheel arches where we had been catching the gates trying to get out of the drive. My neighbour came in from work moved his van a little bit before the police came out and they said in there opinion he was not obsructing us and they would therefore not do anything (yes i even showed them the scratches on the car)and they advised to knock my wall down and make my drive gates slightly bigger. The next day my nasty neighbours told me i was sad very sad. (i don't think its sad to ask them to move there van when i am doing damage to my car trying to sqeeze out of the gap).

    Today things have probably been aggrevated a little bit more as Yes finally someone in the class has stood up and said her eldest daughter has hit my friend's daughter and she is now excluded from school until after the holidays and the school also finally found out the daughter that is in the same class has been causing the trouble as a member of staff reported that she had been throwing books during her lesson at our children and threatening our children outside the classroom and the statements from our children and the staff had no discrepencies and she has now finally been moved class.

    The only on going thing at the minute is the dispute between the nasty neighbours and myself is over the parking issue and the mediation between my nasty neighbour, my good neighbour and my self which is iminent.

    I have photographinc evidence to take with me of the scrated wheel arches and the graffitti that her children wrote on my wall.

    Any help you may be able to give me regarding any of the issues would be appreciated as we bought the house in December 2002 and have to remain here for 3 years or i have to pay back my discount. Believe me i have already started to look for another place to live but i get on well with just about everyone else in the street.

    I dont think i am to blame for the situation with my nasty neighbour as no-one else in the street likes her either (shame she will not move) i have heard though before i moved in she had problems with the previous tenants and that she had had her house up for sale a few times.

  • #2

    Welcome to the board, what a year for you!

    Kids can sometimes be the cause of much neighbourly strife. It sounds as tho your NFH is a bit of a control freak, this coupled with your son's rejection of the daughters' interest has escalated into outright war!

    I applaud you for waiting to see what the school would say rather than charging around to next door and "having it out" with her, as clearly she wanted this to happen, a bit of a drama queen is she????

    She seems to want to control everything about you - your marriage, your family and your friendship with the other (nice) neighbours - would appear that she lacks a great deal of happiness in her own life.

    Techbabe, above all else, if you haven't already, you need to log all of this, dates, times, how it made you feel, because to get the police interested, you will need to open a case number and log all of this with them. This is due to the fact that if it goes to court, repeated attempts to threaten, intimidate or cause a nuisance will be on record, it makes it that much easier to build up a history to back you up.

    It seems to me that one little meaningless incident has sparked this off, but your repeated refusal to get involved in a "scrap" has led to them upping the ante eg., getting more aggressive, trying more ways to p**s you off, using the kids, parking, property and rumours to try to upset you and taunt you into a response. Whatever the situation, do not respond, unless you (or your kids) personal safety is at risk.

    You seem to have built up a good relationship with others in your area, perhaps you need to build on this, and if you ask around, I'll bet that loads more neighbours are just pig sick of the pair of them. This will help you psychologically, in that its good to know others are with you on this.

    At last the school are doing something about the bullying (god, it took them long enough, didn't it?), and its sad you have reached the end of your tether and are thinking of moving , but the sad fact is that if you delve deep enough, most folk find that their NFH has a history of such behaviour, mine certainly did and had to move cos a good neighbour was gonna "kick his head in"

    Come back and keep us posted - sorry i cannot give more constructive advice, this one's out of my depth i think, but others on the board have experienced this one.

    Keep yourself and your family safe.



    • #3
      Sorry forgot to tell you that when i pull up in the street and go to reverse my car onto the drive the neighbours children stand at the window and wave i cannot drive onto the the drive because where he has parked his van i would never be able to reverse off.

      When i am driving through the estate they walk on the road and don't move. when i walk down the street they call all of us names and swear and shout saying we all have nits. We deliberatley walk on the opposite side of the path to them so we don't get accused of doing anything. my good neighbour and I have been told to walk down from school from in pairs so each of us is each others witness.

      When we do walk down from school they follow us (i know they live in the same street) but one day we zig-zagged throught the estate and they followed everymove we made and told there parents it was us following them.

      The nasty neighbours children have been insulting towards to my parents and stare at all of us and my mam asked the eldest one to stop staring one day and her mother stopped my mam while she was shopping and followed her into a shop and shouted abuse at her in the shop and also on the front street and everyone was watching and my mam and dad were really embarrassed.

      Everytime i go into my garden my nasty neighbour goes into her garden and sweeps her drive and i feel i have no privacyas when i go back into my house she goes back into her house. She cannot see my back door from her back door so she now goes up stairs and looks out of her bathroom window when i pull onto my drive and watches me as I bring in all of my shopping.

      They have been doing some repairs to there house from early hours of the morning till late at night and to be honest i have seen barratt and McCleans build whole houses quicker as this has been going on for about 4 months now.

      She has cut her bushes back on the front garden so she can see right into my front garden so our agenda is to put a fence up and sort out the front garden the thing is i dont want to go out as i know she will be straight out to try to annoy us.

      We have recently had double glazing put in our house and it seemed as if her neck was on elastic as she took every opportunity she could to have a look even her kids kept playing with the ball on our side of the street so they could see that i was getting my brick outbuilding double glazed as well.


      • #4
        Thanks gordy i have logged everything with the police and they also have copies of my cctv and dictaphone tapes I have a detailed record at home and i also have the original copies of my cctv and dictaphone tapes.

        I have an extensive diary of events of incidents to do with the school too.

        But it hard as the police say I have to keep the school and home incidents seperate which unfortunatley the neighbours cannot do.

        I try to sit back and ignore what is going on but I had to do something about the fact we have damaged 2 cars trying to squeeze out of the gap I am sure if anyone else was damaging there cars they too would be annoyed.

        My nasty neighbours husband waited one night for my good neighbours husband (this was before we became friendly with the good neighbours) and tried to start a fight unfortunately for him i don't think he realised that my good neighbour went to the gym every night and was a body builder and the nasty neighbour's husband ended up with a couple of black eyes.

        The nasty neighbour and her children tend to annoy me and my children but not so much my husband and her children annoy my good neighbour and her children but not her husband but the nasty neighbour does not bother my good neighbour much more since her husband got a "pasting" she always comes around to annoy me but i do not give her the satisfaction of having a confrontation i turn around now and just say "yes whatever" which i think annoy's her more.


        • #5
          Hi Techbabe and welcome to the Forum

          Wow, you seem to have had it all from your neighbour from hell (NFH), it sounds like you have a strong family unit and some good neighbours which is really important.

          This nfh appears to be a classic example: turning the tables to make you and yours out to be the bad party. You aren't and you need to remember that. Try and rise above her behaviour. It sounds like you are well with this already, but just try to ignore her. I know it's hard, but the more she thinks that her behaviour is not rattling you, the worse she will feel.

          On the issue of the Order under the Protection from Harassment Act, there is a member called Scooby who will be able to offer you some really good advice. They have an Order in place on their nfh and it has also worked for another member after Scooby shared their experience and explained how to go about things.

          You really must start recording everything. There is a blank Dairy Sheet on the main site (go to the Resources section) - print it off today. Write everything down. Who said what to whom, when, what happened etc. Every place you contact about the harassment, noise and behaviour will want evidence. You must get as much of it as you possibly can.

          Is you nfh still a Council tenant, or have they bought their home as well? If they are still a tenant, then I would also contact the local Housing Office about ther behaviour.

          Hopefully now the school are aware of the issues they will keep a close eye on what is going on.

          Other members will come along shortly to offer advice and support. You are not alone in this, we have all experienced nfh in some form or another.

          Welcome again and good luck.


          • #6
            no my nbh is not a council tenant and we have contacted the local council about there mediation service as they not only offer it for council tenants but also for owner occupiers. We are currently waiting for a date and time for us all to meet to discuss our problems and to try to resolve them.

            Unfortunately i feel phsyically sick about having to meet the woman face to face especially after she has threatened me and committed a common assault on me too. I don't really think the mediation is going to work but hey anything is worth a try. I only wished we had not bought our house becasue we could have moved but with the drastic increase in house prices i am pleased we did buy it as our house has now doubled in value its only a shame about the neighbour.

            I will try to look for scooby's thread to see what happened with them.

            To be honest its quite nice to meet other people who have been in the same position as i think i have exhausted every avenue that i can think of and meeting other people in the same position may give me different avenues to try.

            Yes you are quite right my husband and i have a very strong relationship but these issues with the neighbours affect me more than him but he is supportive and he also tells me to let them get on with it.

            It has got to the stage where on a weekend my husband will not let me go out of the house alone unless i go in the car and he phones and texts me everyday or night depending on his shift to check to make sure we are all safe and well.


            • #7
              Hi Techbabe and welcome

              Wow!!! I thought I had things bad until I read your story I don't really know what advice to give as you seem to have done all the right things and still nothing is being done.

              I agree with Badger and Holly. Scooby will be able to help you with advice on the Protection from Harrassment Act. It worked for her and Thornyside and I believe another member.

              Your NFH sounds absolutely bonkers! How typical of her to accuse you of taking pictures of her kids to put on the internet!!! This seems to be the latest trick of a number of NFH. It's happened to my husband and there are a number of other members who have been accused of paedophilia as well. Sick minded NFH just love to use that one!!

              It sounds like her kids are carbon copies of their parents! I hope the school manage to do something positive about the bullying. It really gets my goat when a kid is being bullied and the teachers treat the victim the same as the bully! Hopefully this won't happen now that somebody has spoken up.

              Good luck, hope you manage to get the police to get their fingers out and use the FPA against your nutcase neighbour.

              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


              • #8
                Hi again

                I feel that people who are owner occupiers do get more stuck in a nfh situation. You are tied to your mortgage/home more than if you were a tenant. You also have less option when your nfh is an owner - you don't have a landlord to contact (not that they would automatically do anything ).

                At least you are willing to give Mediation a go - it may work, you never know. Things are always worth a try if you feel there is any chance of reaching a solution.

                We are all here whenever you need some moral support. If things get really bad, we have "Ranter's Corner", where you can, well, rant.

                There is also a "Live Chat" facility at the top of the page - just log in with your user name and your own password. The scheduled days for chat are Tuesdays and Sundays at 8.00pm, but it is there all the time. You can send personal messages (PM's) to active users if you want to chat.

                Good luck to you TB.


                • #9
                  I fully sympathise here with what you are going through, but, there are issues here that are both civil (mainly) and some criminal.

                  I know some are going to be reading my posting with some alarm but, I have been doing some homework on this behind the scenes this afternoon and I also have some good and reliable information for you.

                  Firstly, I would sack your solicitor - to say he is nothing but useless is an understatement. I would not employ ANY solicitor that personally told me that to get an order against someone would cost between 2.5k to 3k. Total tosh.

                  You state in your posting that :-

                  But it hard as the police say I have to keep the school and home incidents seperate which unfortunatley the neighbours cannot do.[/b]

                  The Police are quite right on this and I have made a couple of phone calls which bears this completely out. It is very hard, I know, (I don't mean to be patronising here) to put these incidents to one side but, I'm afraid that you are going to have to. Sickening I know - but I am a realist - I have to deal with the here and now and facing up to situations - much like we all have on this forum - that some incidents just come under civil law and it has no bearing with the Police whatsoever. You need to be aware that the school will decide at what point the Police will be brought in. I recall on a different posting about the age of criminal responsibility - i.e. when is a child classified a criminal and at what age. The Police don't like dealing with minors - its a fact. It involves massive amounts of paperwork, social workers and then the CPS invariably end up chucking the case papers back to the Police citing insufficient evidence. This from what I can gather is pretty much what has happened all along.

                  I firmly believe that you need to go back to your local Police Station and have a meeting either with a Sargent or even better an Inspector - tell them whats been going on, present all your evidence and ask them what else could the Police offer you by way of protection.

                  I am right here when I say that the PFHA is placed on one person. I.E if the NFH main trouble maker is the wife then it will go on her and then if NFH husband kicks off it will then be added to him - but, what about NFH's kids ? They really are just as bad are they not ?

                  You really need to talk with your local station on this and see what the best way forward here is.

                  I have been told today, categoricaly that maybe the Police will NOT view the PFHA as the way forward on this one. They may choose a different route. What that entails I don't know, but you have more than one perpetrator here and there are children involved too that are causing just as much misery for you.

                  I am sorry that I cannot give you a torch to shine your way through this, but, there are an awful lot of other things going on here from your posting and there could even be child protection issues here which has been pointed out to me and the Police are very relunctant to get involved with things like this unless the situation is such that they have no other choice.

                  I know and FULLY appreciate that this is not what you wanted to read, but, the fact is if I gave you duff information you would be looking to point the finger towards me and said that I have built your hopes up and that is the very last thing I would want to do. Rollercoaster emotions is good for none of us.


                  • #10
                    What you need to do with your posting and all of your reported logs of all incidences is seperate them out into two sections, which should form either Civil problems (which the Police cannot do anything about and which they are not interested in) and criminal (or even boarderline criminal) offences.

                    Car parking issues do not form criminal - this is civil so you need to place that under that section.

                    Kicking your front door and damaging it - this could be criminal (criminal damage), so you put that under that section.

                    So what you are doing is building up a complete picture of what has gone on and what the Police are going to be interested in and what they will pass to one side.

                    I know it's very hard here when you are writing things down - but you must stick to the facts of each of the different incidents. Put on a seperate sheet what your emotions are by all means but, try as much as possible to stick to the facts. I had to do it with our NFH as hard as it was, but, by sticking solely to the main points you are building up a case against your NFH and not bogging the Police down with emotional detail which, they really just don't want to know.

                    You have to look at this in perspective - has there been a crime committed YES or NO Thats the question that the Police Officer who you speak to will ask themselves.

                    You might be feeling here that I am being rather terse, but, I had to learn this the hard way and as much as I wanted to babble on about how enormously upset I was etc., etc., the Police just don't want to hear about it.

                    The next day i went to the post office to collect a parcel for my husband and on my way back home i was sending him a text mesage and my neighbour was heading towards me with the baby in the pushchair there was no where for me to go to avoid her and when was walking past she stopped and said thats handy and she pushed me into a metal barrier i immediately phoned the police and they sergeant and a pc came out to meet me at my house and the pc spent 5.5 hours taking statements from me they waited almost a week before arresting my neighbour and taking her for questioning[/b]
                    The difference between assault and battery is that assault includes a threat to use force while battery is confined to the actual use of force. Technically speaking, brandishing a weapon or a fist at someone is assault without battery, whereas hitting someone without warning is battery without assault. There are a bilwildering array of assault offences - ranging from common assault at the lower end of the scale to grevious bodily harm at the upper end. Words only assaults include incitement, using abusive words or behaviour and issuing threats to kill.

                    My feeling on this incident was that the Police decided to log this down as a Section 39 assault which probably does not mean an awful lot to you but, technically speaking if you were to discuss this with a Police Officer don't be too surprised if this is what they come back with. Generally speaking they don't do much with this offence and very rarely does it come before the courts, unless they are answering to a whole host of other charges and then this would get slotted in somewhere along the line.

                    My immediate concern is one of that you are constantly in some form of discussion with her whenever she is in your face. In the situations with Thornyside and myself we NEVER spoke with our neighbours. Whenever they started their antics we would go in and phone the Police and in Thornyside's situation recorded it on CCTV. There is too much banter going on from your side towards your NFH. This will NOT DO AT ALL You need to cut the chat dead. No talking, no murmmuring, no eye contact - nothing, zero.

                    Your NFH in her defence could cite that you have constantly provoked the situation by increasingly becoming embroiled in this quote :-

                    i turn around now and just say "yes whatever" which i think annoy's her more.[/b]

                    This is not doing you any favours. Quit the comments. I really mean this if you want a half decent outcome. You need to end it right NOW. You are giving your neighbour some serious ammunition to use against you personally.

                    I think once you have done the listings and then speak with your local station you might be a little clearer as to where you stand.

                    I am sorry to be so hard on you, but, I think that this is the only way forward for us to help you. I could sit here all night and give you flowery replies - but lets face facts - it won't help you one jot. You need to take the bull by the horns, get your act together and look for a solution and the answer lies in you being proactive and putting a good case forward.


                    • #11
                      The only time i have ever replied "yes whatever" to my neighbour is when she is at my door and threatening me but now i would not answer the door if she came around.

                      I don't make eye contact with her as she has treatened me that if i look at her she will hit me and for the last 4 months i have not spoke to her or made eye contact and i just ignore her when she she starts to rant and rave.

                      I have even started to use my front door to avoid her as she usually spends her time in the back but she is known to follow us from back to front garden (just being noisy i suppose).

                      The assault was a common assault (at the minor end of the scale) and was going to be pushed in along side the harassment issues. The Kicking on the doors did not cause any noticeable damage.

                      I am keeping school and home issues separate but unfortunately she cannot do this and if anything happens at school she comes around and annoys us and in most cases its got nothing to do with me its all accusations about the other neighbour but she does not bother to go and knock at

                      her door.

                      I have found that since i had her arrested she does not come and knock on my door anymore she just shouts over the fence but unfortunatley i cannot hear everything she says on the cctv.

                      The police have checked out my cctv and it covers most of my property and the road outside where my other car is parked so they said that it is fine it can also see in an elderly womans garden but i have checked with her and she has given her consent for the camera to view to her garden as she says it is peace of mind if anyone tries tries to break into her house.

                      I find that when i phone the police this provokes her to start shouting abuse over the fence but she is very sly and has lowered her voice so that the camera does not pick it up.

                      I will do as you have said and seperate the incidents and i will try to speak to speak to the local police as soon as i have dont that. Again thanks for the advice as anything is worth is a try even if it does not work (i promise i won't get depressed about it).

                      I was certainly not going to pay my solicitor £150 and hour and therefore have not been back to see about any of the issues that have happened since my last visit.

                      Could you please tell me if anyone on this forum has tried mediation and if so how did it work out for them. Do you have to go to court to get the protection from harrassment act enforced on your neighbours.


                      • #12
                        The mediation question was posed by a law student who posted this same question on this forum. Without bogging you down with all the humdrum details, I personally advised that if both parties (neighbours) were in agreement to the mediation and that both were anxious to try and resolve the issues then yes it could work. But it is solely dependent upon both parties making it work.

                        I am not aware personally of any on this forum who have tried mediation (I may be wrong here but, I haven't read it so I stand to be corrected should there be). I think its fair to say here that by the time most of us reach this forum our disputes are so entrenched that in reality there is no way forward and especially in my case the battle ground is very bl**dy. Some on this forum have short term problems and some like me have ones that date back many years (ten in our case).

                        If you felt that mediation was the way forward to resolve this then I would say go for it. If you felt that for your own peace of mind that by talking with the police and broaching the question on the Protection From Harassment Act was the way forward instead then this is something that you need to sit down with your family and the police to work through to a solution.

                        I will be very open here with you, the Protection From Harassment Act is not the be all and end all of your problems as I have found out today. It may be on one member of the family but, it does not stop the other family members from trying their luck either. What I suggest you do is go to Ranters Corner and look for my new posting on PFHA Is It Working ? Read through this and digest what has happened.

                        In every sense of the word the PFHA has made life 100% better here but, when you hit days when things like this happen it really makes you wonder what it is all about. The PFHA is not the be all and end all - it is not the Holy Grail of orders that can be placed on your NFH it is merely a stop gap. The police will not hand these out like smarties to every neighbourhood dispute either. They can only do one at a time and perhaps if our NFH's wife carries on then we will have to look into the possibility of having one placed on her too !

                        The courts do not impose the PFHA, but it has a legal standing that is upheld in a court of law. It will not cost you any money either. But, from my vantage point we might have to look for a Restraining Order against our NFH for next year when it expires (it only last 12 months). I am not sure how likely the police will be to extend beyond the 1 year order on the PFHA.

                        There are many factors on this, all of which need to be considered. You have had a horrible time and I think that you should be deserving of the PFHA, but as I pointed out earlier if it goes on the woman what about her husband and her kids etc ?

                        You have many other issues going on that need to taken into account. You need to sit down and go through your options carefully.


                        • #13
                          Just a message of support really as I'm not too knowledgeable with all the legal stuff.

                          I really sympathise with you as a lot of your experiences are parallel to mine, though I think you're in a worse position as you have the welfare of your children to consider.

                          I'm a bit lost with the Harassment Act business. Thanks to advice from Scooby I found the Act on the internet, printed it off and went down the Police Station with it. After another incident, an officer spent several hours at my home, taking a statement and took a couple of video's. The next night my neighbours were visited. I'm told that if I report any act of Harassment, even from the children then Mr Neighbour can be arrested, though I have nothing in writing to support this. Despite my neighbour throwing the Police out, all has gone quiet, at least in the immediate area.

                          I agree with others in that you should cease all communication with these people, don't even answer the door to them. The best way to deal with the ignorant is to ignore them. At least they will not have the pleasure of seeing how badly they are affecting you.

                          My neighbours, like yours have been excessively nosey. So instead of putting up net curtains I put a film on all front and side windows - very modern - all they see now is a mirror! Mind you, on an estate like mine it can add fuel to the gossip mongering machine. I've noted since that even some posh city centre housing also has window film, maybe it will catch on.

                          Anyway, although I can't help, you do have my sympathy and support.

                          Good Luck.



                          • #14

                            Maybe its what I was saying earlier in that there could be many varying different forms of the PFHA. You appear to have it on your entire NFH family, whereas we here only have it on Madhatter.

                            I remember clearly the conversation with our Police Officer who was assigned to our case - when I asked her what if the other family members kicked off too and she replied well, we will put the PFHA on them too.

                            So maybe, just maybe, there are different ways these PFHA's can be administered and on how many people they can go etc.

                            It would answer the question as to why you have it on your family and we have it on Madhatter. I think there are lots of different ways on this one. By the way we DID get a letter of notification from our Police that the PFHA was in effect and yet you didn't.

                            I think it is down to which force you have in and how they administer it all.


                            • #15

                              What I suggest you do is log onto Ask Jeeves and then type in Protection from harassment act

                              I have printed some of it off for myself, but, there are an awful lot of sub sections and so on.

                              I am thinking from the point of view that it would be a great help and assistance for your future reference.

                              I am probably right in thinking too that this is the one that Thornyside printed off, so, it will do no harm for you to arm yourself with this information.