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  • My NFH story

    Hi to everyone



    We moved into our council property in July 2002. First couple of months ignored next doors children coming in and out of the garden, but by October hey were taking the p*ss. They started using our back garden which is kept mowed (unlike their own which their parents have never touched) as their football pitch. Trouble is my doors, windows and walls seemed to be the only thing they hit - resulting in them keeping my baby (who is now 14 months old) awake. I asked them to get out firmly, resulting in the usual muttering under breath and thought that was the end of it. No..... Mother turns up on the doorstep saying I had shouted at her son said this that and the other. i told her what had been going on - dunno if it was feigned surprise but all I heard was "L*** you lil b****** get inside". Yes Mother Goose had not been watching her young so had got half a story. Unfortunately we dont have a fence separating our garden from theirs and cannot afford one yet and the Council don't fence back gardens off anymore grrrrrr.



    The Mother and I actually talked after this and she said that any time we had trouble to go round and let her know so that she could nip it in the bud as she knows her son is a lil tw*t (I couldnt believe she had said that!!!) .... more like she doesnt want us complaining - the turnover of tenants in our property is unbelievable. And up until a week ago she and I shared the odd cup of coffee at each others houses now and then.



    We have had to endure the following for the last god knows how many months:-



    Drainpipes pulled off wall

    Their rubbish put in OUR bin or our garden if they cant be assed to reach the bin, when I told their Mum about it next morning the younger son blatantly stood by my bin rocked it back and forth then tipped it and its contents all over. Saw his Mum a couple of days later and told her about it. Rubbish still going in our bin (quel surprise!)

    Footballs constantly being kicked into our garden - now their 13 yr old friend (girl) from 2 doors down has joined in the fun too

    Standing underneath our back window and door having lengthy conversations normally about us and our second hand contents in our house!! (I wish!! Its cost us a small fortune buying our stuff for here)

    Shooting pellet guns at chickens over our back fence and scaring my cat off

    Letting their dog run all over the bloomin place - unless its tied up all day when we have to endure its constant yapping (along with all the other dogs tied up or kept in back gardens who also decide to join in the dog symphony) - none of the dogs have ever been taken for a walk poor things

    "I hate you" carved into the bottom of our front door

    Her children smashing glass and tiles all over the shared drive

    Dumped their rusting bikes and scooters etc in our garden - these were thrown back after a week

    The younger son (sorry I forgot to mention - he apparently has ADHD so "doesnt know what he's doing") has had saws, screwdrivers and other assorted tools out of his parents shed to hack at fence posts, his bikes and a few weeks ago he hit my older son on the hand with a saw!!!! The son got a "beating" off his Dad and was grounded for a month (pfffft he was out 2 days later)

    The younger son has threatened my son with a "smacking" when he has come back inside and brought his own football back in with him - so far I have managed to restrain my son from knocking this boys lights out lol

    Last week was the final straw - my partner had spent the entire afternoon mowing the garden and tidying it up - he hadnt been back inside the house for an hour when the brats had chucked a wheel rim and wood into our garden. We politely asked them to move these - their friend removed the wheel, we ended up having to move the wood. Then the football started, asked them not to keep going on our garden with the football - the younger son and his friend then decided to have a brawl in our back garden - my partner banged on the window and shouted to them to "Get out". They walked slowly out muttering fckin this and that as they did so and all was silent for half an hour. then the Mother turns up on our doorstep - apparently my partner had scared her son "half to death" - he was crying and scared - umm yes obviously thats why he was muttering abuse outside about us straight after we told him to get out!! My partner finally lost his cool and tried to tell her what had been going on and unfortunately he swore during this - to which she said "Who the f**k do you think you're swearing at" - he replied "YOU" - I dont think anyone has ever shouted back at her before and she clearly didnt like it lol - she asked him out for a fight the stupid mare - then went on to say if this was the way we wanted to "play" she was going to complain to the Council about US as we complained to her too much GRRRR. (So far we havent heard anything from the Council and doubt we will). She then proceeded to go to each neighbour and shout her mouth off about us to each of them.

    A few days have passed, only had a couple of incidents with the football and dog but noting everything down. The silence is a bit freaky - like the calm before the storm!! Well until this morning, thanks younger son - you woke my lil one up with your football being kicked against my house wall at 7AM GRRRRRRRRR.



    During conversations I have had with the Mother in the past it seems that her way of dealing with things is to shout and use physical violence - apparently she has dragged one woman out of her house via the lounge window. She relishes arguments that neighbours are having and sits on her front step to watch and laugh. Her sons and her and her partner called the last tenants who were in our house "black b***ards" - they were actually croatian - so they're rascist SC*M too.



    I have contacted the Council previously about them only to be told to make official complaints - I just darent think of the consequences if we do - we are virtually prisoners in our own home - we cant let the younger child out to play in our own garden in case the ball hits him, he cuts himself on glass, gets shot at by pellet guns or gets jumped on by their nutty dog. My two older children choose to stay in rather than go out there :/ (I only have custody of my two older children at weekends and holidays).



    Sorry I've rambled on a bit and its all confused and perhaps some of it is trivial but life here is a nightmare and I just dont know what else to do.



    If this son has ADHD why on earth doesnt she pay more attention to him and check on him? They let them out and leave them to it - its soooooo ANNOYING.



    ok i'm off to have a smoke and a coffee to try and relax bfore the kids from hell get out to play. If you've read this far thanks lol.

  • #2
    hi She wolf



    you have a choice



    you either live with it or you report it and get it sorted.

    yes it is possible your life will get harder for a while but the long term effects will be better. they will know they cant mess with you without consequences.



    ~get on to the council



    ~take pictures of the vanderlism and scratched words and broken glass



    ~record every thing they do which effects your family in a negative way



    ~DO NOT RETAILIATE never stoop to their level, while you are calm and ignore them they will have nothing on you.



    ~also demand the council put a fence up telling them health and saftey is at risk as your children are going to get hurt.



    you need to keep your family safe and I am afraid by reporting them is the only way, it sounds like this family is not just going to wake up one day and be changed into the neighbours from heaven.



    I know you will get loads of advice here, good luck and keep us posted!

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Shewolf,



      Your story is so damn familiar, even down to a son having ADHD, seems many kids suffering this symptom are in fact abused by their own parents, that is, ignored or shouted out and called names like your 'twit' neighbour.



      I sometimes think that ADHD is used merely as an excuse - my child is unwell and on medication so you must give him/her leeway, it is not their fault.



      I agree. In your case, it is not the kids fault, it is the parents who are fully to blame. Trouble is, while the authorities sit back, these kids grow up believing they are living in a correct manner, one day becoming parents themselves and the cycle continues with their kids.



      One way and another, our society is in the process of destroying itself, I just wonder how it will end. We are not the first society on earth and the way things are going we wont be the last. Oh dear, getting very heavy, it's the mood I'm in, sorry.



      Are you not in Council accomadation? While I do not believe anyone should move unless it is their own personal choice, if you are a Council Tenant, could you not get an 'exchange'. It could be the simplest way out of your situation.



      Alternatively, I know from my own area that if enough complaints are made to the Council, they will bend over backwards to help the victim by offering alternative accomadation.



      You are clearly being harassed not just by the kids but the mother too, especially as she is 'canvassing' other neighbours. I learned from this site about the 1997 Harassment Act (Scooby). Use of this has made my neighbours back off to a degree.



      You need to get yourself a cctv camera (£50 of less), hook it up to your video and get a couple of good events recorded, then call in the Police. It may just change your neighbours ways.



      As you have kids of your own, perhaps the best way would be to move if you can, it is unlikey the NHF will voluntarily move and even more unlikely the Council will put an end to their lifestyle.
      THORNYSIDE



      http://homepage.ntlworld.com/thornyside

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi SheWolf,



        I've come a bit late to this but I can see you've been given a lot of good advice which I can only echo.



        You have to ask yourself 'Do I want to live like this or do I grasp the nettle?' Maybe it will get worse if you report it but only for a short time.



        You have to keep a log of what is happening. It's a bit of a pain but the council will need it. If you can, photograph the vandalism, as others have advised. You've mentioned a pellet gun, is this an air gun or a bb gun - I think there's a difference. But whatever, if you see anybody with one, firing it so the pellets are not contained on their own property, you must call the police. Those guns are dangerous, they can blind and in some cases have even been known to kill. I know I got a very quick response when I called the police to report a young lad with one. Also report it to your housing officer.



        The sad fact about council estates is that there seem to be a larger proportion of really antisocial tenants - believe me, I know, I live on one. So even if you get a transfer or exchange you still might end up next to a NFH. I don't know if you've seen AlienAndy's website but it just shows what one antisocial family can do to an area. Also Thornyside's website.



        I really do not think things are going to get any better for you and your family while this family is living next door to you. They will continue their antisocial ways until somebody puts a stop to them. Unfortunately, as you are the one they are offending against, I think it will have to be you. Get in touch with your council and Neighbourhood police officer and tell them what is happening. Find out, if you can, what their policy is about dealing with antisocial behaviour. Some councils are better than others, let's hope yours is one of the good ones.



        If your council seems reluctant to do anything, make a nuisance of yourself. Don't ever let up in reporting incidents and demanding action. Remember, it's the squeaky wheel that gets the attention.



        Good luck and come back often and let us know what is happening



        Misty
        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi She Wolf and welcome to the Forum - and thank you for your very in depth post. It really helps when we have information about exactly what you have been going through.



          In your situation it sounds like it has been really bad for the past ten months, but that you are getting to the point now where enough is enough - I can full appreciate why.



          However, retaliation in any form is going to bring you down to their level and won't really achieve anything in the long run.



          Has this NFH family lived in their home for a long time? If so, they/ she probably feels like she is able to "rule the road" with her agressive and violent behaviour.



          The other members have given you a great deal of positive advice and suggestions for your way forward, so I will just summarise them for you:



          - Speak to your local Area Housing Officer about the NFH

          - Record everything on a diary sheet (you can access a blank one at the main NFH.org.uk site in the "Resources" section

          - Contact your local Community "Beat" Bobby - ask about Anti-Social Behaviour Strategies in your area



          * I would suggest that you may also want to contact your local Councillor to discuss your concerns (they may also be able to push for a fence for you)



          * If you do think that you want to consider moving, then talking about this with your Area Housing Officer/ Council's Homeless Unit/ a Housing Advice Centre and/ or Citizens Advice Centre may be able to offer you advice and options that are open to you.



          Please let us know how you are getting on and try to stay positive about the whole thing - feel free to rant in "Ranters Corner" whenever you need to.



          Good Luck.

          Comment


          • #6
            Get in touch with your council ASAP. why do you think the neighbours were moved, yes the council will know all about your stupid neighbour, and word will get around that no way move into this house or in that area, the neighbours are nasty, and then the council will start thinking how come we cant rehouse people here, and then they will wake up to the fact we must get rid of the bad tenants and look after the good tenants, i own my own house, but if i were renting a place and had these type of neighbours i would move to another area, but sad to say now on council estates and HA the nasty tenants are starting to win, we must fight, as you say you keep your garden nice etc, the council will see that, and know, so start complaining, see your councillor about a fence, telling him about the rubbish too, or what about the Enviromental health dept about the state of their garden, i know with my NFH they never do their garden and there is a load of rubbish in their bacl garden, the other good tenants complained about the rubbish. the HA officer called and the renants were told when she has the money she will pay for the skip, never mind that even the old kids are smokers, druggies etc, so they got in touch with the Health dept and tjhey have given her a week to remove this rubbish or they will and reclaim the money out of her benefits which they can do.

            Comment


            • #7
              Many thanks for the warm welcome



              Thanks all for your help and advice, its very much appreciated - so far things have been very quiet since wednesday night which is very very odd lol - but I still have a knotted stomach waiting for the next thing to happen.



              My other half, bless him, has now put the vid cam in the upstairs window and connected it to the pc to record any "goings on" and my pen and pad are poised for action. (Typical innit, we get all prepared and they go quiet!! arghhhh).



              In response to a couple of comments, yes we have considered exchanges, transfers etc, but have decided to save up and return to private renting in Surrey where we had absolutely no problems when we lived there. So hopefully by the end of this year we will be out of the hell hole hehehe (manic giggles).



              Also in response to the adhd comments, I do sympathise with the condition as my nephew has a mild form of it, though I have never known him to vandalise things - he is cheeky but he does know right from wrong, his main problem is school work. The boy next door must have it very badly, which leads me to the question - why the hell if he is that bad dont his parents get him some treatment - it is out there - and if he really truly does not know what he's doing when he's hitting people with saws etc, I think he needs much more help before he ends up really injuring someone or worse. I feel so sorry for him that his parents just dont give a damn about him.



              After reading some of the other stories on here, I feel that my problems are fairly bad but some of you have it much much worse and I only hope things get better for everyone else soon. Maybe they should build special estates just for the NFHs, somewhere in outer siberia would be nice *eg*



              The pellet gun ummm someone commented on that, its one of those things with yellow balls in it, which I believe have been banned from sale??



              I did look at AlienAndy's and Thornysides sites - wow you poor things , BUT very interesting reading!!



              I hope to drop into chat at some point, until then I'll keep popping on the board and good luck and keep sane(ish) to everyone :-)

              Comment


              • #8
                Glad to hear that things are quiet for the time being, hopefully you now know what to do if and when it starts up again.



                I'm pleased that you and your partner have decided on an action plan for getting out of the situation. If you have happy memories of living in Surrey, then I wish you all the very best in your return there.



                You know where we all are if you need to come back to us. It would also be great if you could share your experiences/ coping strategies with current and new members joining the Forum.



                Wishing you all the best!

                Comment

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