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  • Am i really that bad.

    Not about my NFH at the back, but about my snobby neighbour next door, not attached, who has 2 roaming kids since her clever hubby went off with his now wife, well the lad used to bring his gang of mates down here and play football against the fence for hours and always knocking for the ball, oh no he disturbed us and another neighbour, this has gone on for over 5 years, well guess what she has picked up some idiot who has now moved in, and he is a night worker so now we must all keep very very quiet, are you joking it was a red flag to a bull to us and the neighbour next to her, so we have been playing football with our dogs against our fence, oh yes, and we are hooting if we need anybody, and our door gets slammed, well our group says what was wrong in keeping her kids quiet when we got home from work and wanted some quiet, so sorry but we have had enough of just stupid people who dont think of others but themselves, never thought i would enjoy slamming front doors, i know i am being very very naughty but my neighbours kids friends are not even allowed to knock just in case he wakes new daddy up. Yes beat me and my neighbour, tell me how awful we are, yes it is easy to turn into a NFH and not caring what noise you make.

  • #2
    sorry Sombrueil,



    I dont agree with your tactics at all.



    the new chap from what I can gather has just moved in and was not around for the prevoius 5 years when you were suffering?



    so why should it be ok for you and others to make his life as bad as yours has been??



    As a shift worker myself I know how valuable sleep can be at any time of day or night

    it is the same as your neighbour making deliberate noise during the night when you are trying to sleep.



    As a sensible adult you really should know better, and you have admitted in your post that you are making deliberate noise.



    this in turn makes you as selfish as your NFH and the man who has moved in with your NFH has become your victim.



    If this has been going on for 5 years against your fence does this mean you have not yet moved?



    I must admit I am very disapointed that a member of this group has taken such tactics.

    Comment


    • #3
      I don't think you've mentioned your next door neighbour before. I didn't realise you had other problems besides the ones at the back.



      You ask 'Am I really that bad?'. Well, I suppose if you've suffered from KFH for a few years (and I have) it can be pretty tempting to hit back. But it's the new partner who is suffering and from what you've said he had nothing to do with the original problem. So, with all due respect, yes I think you are that bad.



      You are now turning it into a circle of antisocial behaviour. Two wrongs don't make a right. Sorry if you don't want to hear this, but it's just the way I feel. Others might not agree with me.



      Misty
      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

      Comment


      • #4
        Sombrueil,



        Don't you think such actions are a little bigoted and hypocritical? These are actions that centre upon selfishness, thoughtlessness and arrogance. They also verge on bullying behaviour. Why are you doing this now? I don't understand your motives.



        You call your neighbour "snobby" - do you think you sound "snobby" for saying these sort of things and behaving like this?



        Misty and Beth have voiced my thoughts exactly.



        Please re-consider what you're doing. Do you really want an 'eye for an eye' and end up shooting yourself in the foot? That's what will ultimately happen to you in my opinion.

        Comment


        • #5
          Sorry sombrueil, what you are doing is a BIG NO-NO



          There is no point in a site like this, if after all the advice and support, we just go off and become NFH ourselves.



          In our situations we have got to be 'whiter than white' no matter what is thrown at us.



          I have awful thoughts about my own NFH and on occasion I have had to fight from hitting back - a couple of times losing, of which I am ashamed.



          You will never get redress or whatever if you simply turn round and join the NFH club.



          Sorry!
          THORNYSIDE



          http://homepage.ntlworld.com/thornyside

          Comment


          • #6
            we have been playing football with our dogs against our fence[/b]


            Does this mean you've actually been kicking your dogs into the fence?



            Sorry, it's just that it's difficult to tell exactly how far along the scale you might be.

            Comment


            • #7
              Many times I catch myself thinking of what I'll do when I've moved away from the NFH; come back and slash tyres, report the NFH to the NSPCC and RSPCA, put Araldite (super strong glue) in his door and garage locks blah blah blah, then catch myself with:



              What are you doing gordy? You're educated, rational and reasonable - how did it get to this?



              What I'm saying is, you're moving soon, i guess, so the best thing is to simply be smug, smirk, wear sunglasses and sing to yourself until you're out of there, then you're the winner!

              Comment


              • #8
                I am in the same position as Sue - my son has an electric guitar - and he is into death metal - he is also a DJ - same music and runs his own and maintains many other websites dedicated to the - er, music. We have NFHs on the other side of the party wall - their racket was the final stopper in my studying with the OU as there is NEVER a quiet time in this area - I thought I could study after 11 when things quietened down outside - my NFHs put that one in the bin - drunken rows 'til 3am and later - often resumed at 6am.



                My son still only practises quietly in his room - after 9pm it goes down to arond the same vol. as one would play a radio 'in the background' and after 11 he merely uses the guitar without amplification - that is inaudible across the room! but is adequate for him to get his fingering right (he can play it properly doesn't just strum the same 4 chords all the time!) - it certainly can't be heard next door (we would know all about it if it could!!)



                You can't win by placing yourself on the same level as an NFH - it is so tempting but you can't; retaining the moral high ground is ALL.



                It has enabled me to pull off some goodies - the NFH on the other side one time accused me of 'drilling hammering and banging all night'. I actually had knocked in 4 quarter-inch cable clips to hold my phone line away from the floor where my 'lazy' foot can't trip on it - I am disabled - this was at 20.20, just 4 taps with a tack hammer into plaster.



                I wrote in reply to the council's letter of complaint and detailed ALL that lot had been getting up to over the - I think it was nearly 2 yrs by then - time wince we had moved in - that I had *not* complained about - and said that it was partly because I didn't want to start a war but the fact that I knew they would take little notice of a complaint from a council tenant from this 'bad estate' . . . . it ran to five pages. The list of next door's antics, I mean!



                Lo and behold. She started making some attempt (pathetic by the standards of anyone who can train a dog) to shut her damn yorkies up. (She has varying numbers of the damn things; sometimes 2 - sometimes 4 or more)The rows lessened and stopped earlier. There was a fair bit less of everything else as well - and they are 'owners'. Therefore, of course, the salt of the earth unlike us council dirt. That is certainly their attitude - but you should see her first thing in the morning with a hangover . . . our nickname is 'the aasvogel' (vulture) because she DOES resemble one - even to the frill of feathers around the neck . . . . on her tatty old bathrobe in which she slops down to the dustbin in the morning (meow - miouw? meauw? - cat lovers - how do you spell that??? I've never worked it out and there's never a kid's book handy when I want to know!)



                It was the same when the NFH on the OTHER side started tormenting the dog - then complained he barked too much.



                He stopped tormenting the dog - but of course, the dog doesn't understand these things and now the old *** is too scared to go in his own backyard. Tough. Dog never barks at anyone else though, other than the brats who also taunt him - and what he is there for - when someone bangs on the door! Otherwise, when all the other neighbourhood mutts are making the place sound like Battersea Dogs Home - he just sits there chewing his bone, exercising his jaw and cleaning his teeth. . . . .



                It takes time sure - but once you sink to their level, you lose the advantage of being able to use your noggin to get THEM fuming! Imagine what it must be like - they smugly send off a pack of lies to the council, imagining that you will get into trouble - and it bounces back like a superball covered in doggydo

                (let's be coy, shall we?) - and THEY end up having to shut up! It is such a pleasure having to make an obvious effort not to smirk when one comes face to face with them over the garden wall or wherever



                Everyone's right about the new person there - if he never caused trouble, why should he suffer? That is really unfair!



                I too am sorry if you don't like this, but after all, how can we call ourselves anti-noise if we turn round and respond with the very thing we're complaining about?



                Perhaps if having given them a taste of their own medicine, you revert to normal living, they will realise that it was just that - a 'taste' - and by doing that you may save your own situation - being able to say that you did it for a while because they obviously didn't know what it was like to be on the receiving end - but having done so, you stopped. That isn't perfect, but is likely acceptable to a jury - especially as a few of them are likely to have NFHs of their own! One should always look at a situation from the point of view of a jury - that way one - most likely - remains in the right.



                tannasg

                Comment


                • #9
                  All I want to say really is that it is important in these situations to maintain the moral high ground.



                  Dont lower yourself to their level!
                  "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"



                  apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan



                  Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Sombrueil



                    What do you know about this man who has moved in? You say he's an idiot, but my guess is you don't really know anything about him. Working nights is a hard choice to make, and it is vital that you get some quality sleep during the day.



                    Two wrongs do not make a right. I can fully understand why you would want to think about causing a nuisance for people who have done the same to you, but actually doing it just makes you worse. You know the impact it has on the victim.



                    You ask "are you really that bad?". I think that if you carry on doing what you're doing, then yes you are.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Eek, Sombrueil, stop, stop, stop! Leaving aside the fact that your neighbours are being aggravated, think about yourself and your mental attitude. What you are doing goes against what you would normally do and that is a slippery slope. If you start deliberately harrassing your neighbour then you will get into a mental state of not feeling able to stop. The way you've written your post, it sounds like you are making deliberate efforts to do things loudly whereas before you wouldn't have done so. This will get very, very tiring for you and you will be permanently conscious of doing things as loudly and as awkwardly as possible. You're not that way inclined and it sounds like you will eventually stress yourself out remaining constantly aware of your neighbour's position.



                      Think of yourself here. You will normally find that, in built up areas, something as simple as mowing a lawn will be a disturbance for him so you should just accept that and enjoy the peace and quiet you now have. This sounds like the end of your worries with your neighbour (something we would all love) so you should be delighted, not looking to prolong a war.



                      Enjoy the peace. Your neighbour will thank you for your consideration and, if the bloke moves out in the future, it may help the situation falling back to the past rowdy one.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Jeannie@May 13 2003, 10:58 AM

                        Enjoy the peace.* Your neighbour will thank you for your consideration and, if the bloke moves out in the future, it may help the situation falling back to the past rowdy one.
                        Excellent point actually Jeannie And the other comments in your post are from another and very valid angle.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Excellent point actually Jeannie And the other comments in your post are from another and very valid angle.[/b]


                          I thought so myself - am going crackers trying to catch up with the mail backlog from the server crash - and the replacement of the blown router (not to mention the non-collection of another parcel of returns, the post office and DVDs stolen in transit - 4 missing now - that's no 'accident' ) so am tearing hair out in 18 different directions . . and still haven't done housework - ANd trying to keep up with this - while the little swine scream past on their lawnmower engines . . . and the footballs keep banging into the hedge that has birds nesting in it - grrrr! Poor motherbird - she keeps flying down onto the lawn and chattering so angrily - but it's no use my going out and pleading her case - they'll do it all the more, just as they would if I said it because I'm fed up with them - which I am, of course. Not just the balls, but the language!



                          How would their mothers like it if I went and kicked a football into their brat's prams?



                          tannasg

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ok Tannasg, I admit I live in a hopeful world that means giving respect earns respect. Maybe I give NFH too much credit sometimes However, without hope, what do we have?



                            I was just thinking about the potential state Sombreuil could get herself into - i.e. not being able to relax because the thought would be there that neighbour would also be having peace so a direct effort of getting up to slam about would be made. Wouldn't want to see that.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Damn - I lost it!!!



                              I am sorry Jeannie - it was that new quote thing caught me by surprise I think - I'm half out of my mind trying to catch up and I put in both bits out of Matthew;s post when I only meant to quote the bit



                              >>Excellent point actually Jeannie And the other comments in your post are from another and very valid angle.>I admit I live in a hopeful world that means giving respect earns respect. >However, without hope, what do we have? >I was just thinking about the potential state Sombreuil could get herself into - i.e. not being able to relax because the thought would be there that neighbour would also be having peace so a direct effort of getting up to slam about would be made. Wouldn't want to see that.

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