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  • My story

    I read an article in Woman magazine that has given me the address of this site, So i thought i would take a look....My story began when i moved from an area where all my family lived to a town i thought would be just like the books sun sea and happy days.......Well how wrong can somone be??? It started off great. Having young children they made friends, I even made a few myself. My house was open to all it was fun.....then eventually my children made friends with some children of a VERY LARGE family. This started my nightmare. I was the only single woman on the street and tried to do the best for my children. These children they struck a friendship with terrorised us after a few weeks. they had been in my house and openly admitted they had stolen a key. people who they told were so scared of the family they wouldnt make a statement to the police. things went missing and windows smashed etc etc.I had no-one to turn to. I made a statement daily to the police and even to the local council begging them for help.....In fact one of the funny things about it was the police were on my friends and family on my phone bil!!!I had approached the mother who said yes yes I will deal with it....then off she went to the local pub.After 6months I could'nt take anymore and left my house.....making myself as they say intentionally homeless. I have now found a property with my present council who listened and helped me for which I will always be greatful, Where i live has a bad reputation but I always say they would'nt want to live where I lived before. I now find myself Agoraphobic, cringe when the phone rings or the door knocks but at least I know my children are now safe and happy. And I'm a lot less trusting of anyone. well Ive kept out lots of nasty details but this is my story...thanks for reading it. Now to see if I put it in the right place on the board!!!!

  • #2
    Welcome Cherry Cola



    You're spot on in the right place by the way



    Sorry to read about the problems you experienced at your last house, it sounds truly stressful and a draining time. I'm glad you're now out of it and are having a better time of things anyway.



    It sounds awful, these children took advantage of your good nature and welcoming home, they abused your trust by stealing a key. Although's there's a funnier side to the friends and family police tel no, it's a real indication of how many times you must have contacted them.



    Have you managed to sell the last house or was it rented, etc?



    What you're now experiencing is very common, it happens to many ex-victims of NFH, a lot of us, including me, still experience the jumps at certain sounds/noises/events.



    When you've suffered with an NFH, it doesn't leave you totally, although you will adjust back to 'normal' life slowly and surely over months. Give yourself time and take things slowly. You'll get there but I always think the human body, like if we'd been involved in a major operation or injury takes time to heal. It's similar when living with NFH problems only sometimes and a lot of the time we experience mentally draining and stressful problems, these take time to heal too.



    So don't be too hard on yourself, it really is a problem many of us understand and can totally relate too, talking about it certainly helps a great deal. How long have you been away from the NFH now by the way?



    Hope you visit often

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    • #3
      Hi Cherrycola and welcome to the board



      I'm so sorry to hear of the horrendous experience you had with you NFH family. But glad to hear you're no longer there. It's strange but sometimes a place gets a bad reputation but is actually free from NFH. My sister lives in a close that had terrible reputation and it was well deserved at one point. However all the nasty families eventually moved out and all her neighbours now are fantastic. If I wasn't saddled with a mortgage I'd apply to the HA to live there.



      Agoraphobia seems to be a common complaint amongst people with NFH problems. I suffer from it myself and it is such a pain. Have you approached your GP and told him? Sometimes counselling and medication can help. I'm being a bit of a hypocrite here because I've not been to see my own GP about it. Well I did once and he sort of brushed me off so I never bothered again.



      It can't be easy for you, being a single mother. I hope things stay peaceful for you and your children stay happy. You've learned a terrible lesson about who to trust and it's very understandable that you are a lot less trusting now. I'm sure you'll get a lot of warm welcomes from the other members Good luck in the future



      Misty
      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

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      • #4
        Hi CherryCola and welcome to the site



        We have all suffered/are suffering from neighbours from hell (NFH) in some form or other here.



        It sounds like you have had a horrible time where you were before. Was this the children from the nfh family letting themselves into your home and wrecking it? That's shocking. But as you will find when you read other member's stories, the things that children get up to these days is really bad (although in your situation, coming into your home, theft and damage is just plain criminal - I'm not surprised you had to have the Police as "Friend & Family" with BT!)



        Glad to hear that you have now moved away from these nfh. Is it quieter than where you are now? I hope so for your own sanity.



        NFH can cause all sorts of phsyical and emotional problems and other members have also suffered from agoraphobia, I hope that little by little you can try to move on from the past problems and start to recover your own life back again.



        Sharing experiences on this site has really helped me and I hope that by joining you too will be able to both get and receive support whenever you feel able.



        Keep coming back often to let us know how you are and to share your experiences.



        All the best.

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        • #5
          I was there from January 2001 until July 2002, I feel a lot better already knowing i have found somewhere that probably understands what i went through. it was a council house I was in and they offered my present council no help in getting me re-housed that made me so angry, i think the council here just realised because of the state I was in that My story was true. Hey any-one who accepts a place on this estate must be desparate hehe. i got neighbours who argue and yes i can hear them but you know what, i love it because it doesnt involve me!!!! Sounds mad i know but thats how I feel. thanks for the welcome.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi cherry cola, well this is the one place where we all know what (in some form) you've described.

            I too have mild agoraphobia from NFH we had over ten years ago, which did progressively get better, then brought back on by living in this house (RAF helicopters with me) so don't worry, it does fade if the problem goes - and your problem has gone hopefully. Get yourself some good security for peace of mind and start back with your life again - sounds like you were a happy-go- lucky, carefree sort of gal - now you can be again!



            Spinks

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            • #7
              Thankyou all for the replies, I think I will be here a lot hehe.Ive dicovered the radio and Ive just started reading some of the other messages.I go to a sort of counselling group on a friday it deals with all kinds of problems and they phone me during the week to make sure Im doing ok. i will definately tell them about this group.(unless Im not allowed?) Its run by the Local coucil for helping the local community on this estate and ive never heard of this group mentioned but Im sure it will be benficial to some who go. Im so impressed with this council i told them on a thursday(just before xmas) that I was concerned that I might get broken into.....sunday morn I was woken up by a man saying he had come to fit an alarm!!!! did i mind haha Wow I nearly dragged him in through the front door hehe. I live right near my housing office and the Housing officer is great she deals with things fast. Just let me know if i go on too much and I will try not too. Im just a bit excited!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi CC



                I keep wanting to sing the song that has cherry cola in it but cant remember the words so keep humming the tune!



                I am sorry to hear of your problems and I am glad you found us, we are really pleased with the magazine article which only came out yesterday, if it means it helped one person that is great!



                It is such a shame when people take advantage of a persons good nature and I guess you are too nice from your story!

                Isn't it sad when people can't be nice like that

                (sorry I know what I want to say but my brain is not formatting the words!)



                If it is ok with your group to pass on our details then please do, the more the merrier,

                and I hope you have seen already what a great group of people we are!

                (smug aren't I ?!)



                I hope that your group helps you deal with your situation, it is good that you have already had the courage to get help.



                ttfn

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                • #9
                  Beth, the counselling group found me hehe and they also pick me up if im not there 15mins into the meeting starting haha. I grew up thinking the best of people.....hey we learn from our mistakes. I am nice And Im so glad i bought the magazine....I dont usually haha must have been fate, And Yes i do like it here. feel free to let me know if i do anything wrong and i will sit in the corner and cry I didnt know there was a tune for cherry cola haha. I dont talk much at my group i do a lot of listening.I waffle on a lot as you can see I find the words but then just throw them together and hope I make sense!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Cherrycola, It's so refreshing to hear someone praising their local council If only all councils were like that Although to be fair our local HA runs a lot of 'extra-curricular' stuff. But if you're a resident rather than a tenant you don't hear much about it and feel a bit isolated from it.



                    Don't worry about 'doing something wrong' It's great to have you as our newest member and I think you've done great so far. Some members take ages to post but you plunged in like a good 'un I do understand that when you're new you tend to be a bit cautious and worried about stuff but I've got a feeling you're going to be a valued member of this site That's not to say we don't value ALL our members



                    Anyway, despite what you've been through you sound really happy now which gives everybody grounds for hope Look forward to hearing a lot more from you



                    Misty
                    "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

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                    • #11
                      Hi there, the song from which the line cherry-cola comes from is 'Lola' by the Kinks, hope you are doing fine!

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                      • #12
                        thanks Eckie!!



                        thats the tune I have been lalalaing!!



                        I have been driving Matthew mad!



                        now know I am totaly mad!



                        (Matthew was convinced I was humming mike and the Mechanics!)

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                        • #13
                          Thats OK Beth, glad I could ease your pain, it is annoying when you're trying to think of a song and its on the tip of your brain. I'm full of useless information, knew it would come in handy one day!

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                          • #14
                            Thanks Eckie!



                            Here for you all, your listening pleasure, a sample (first minute or so, about 1mb) of said Kinks song! The internet is a great place eh?!



                            CherryCola - I could do you a great avatar pic with a can of that you know, just say if you fancy!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi Cherrycola





                              Poor thing



                              I know what its like to have agrophobia, anxiety and panics..





                              today I have'nt been out yet as NFH is dominating the back garden! Poor old Guinea Pig needs feeding as well - she lurks out there waiting for me am sure of it....



                              Have also started checking things when I go out........OCD



                              Am glad you have found this site - it has been v comforting for me - hope things get better soon





                              Witsend



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