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  • my story

    Hello all , I am a new member and thought it best to begin by introducing myself and telling my story.

    My name is Les, I'm married and have 4 children aged 10 to 3 (all girls).

    We live in a council house and have lived here for 18 months. The house had been fire damaged (accidentaly by former tennant) so most windows and outer doors were covered by steel sheets.

    Eventually all work was carried out to the property and we took the house. The steel covers came off the windows and before we even moved in they were covered in mud.

    I thought, well it'll be just kids hitting an empty house, no big deal. We moved in and washed the windows only for it to be repeated. Nonetheless, i shrugged it off and washed them again.

    All was quiet for about 2 months after, I had completed work in the house by this time, i was ready to begin work on the gardens. I spent a lot of money and time getting the gardens to a nice standard for my children.

    Finally finished I told the children in 7 days you can go out in the gardens (I had to turf them) but that night a lot of rubbish appeared in them. I tidied it up and same thing happened again. The windows were also hit again. I decided its time to find out who is doing this.

    I discovered it was my 10 year old neighbour, so I confronted him and told him to stop. Next day gardens had even more rubbish in them and he threw a stone off 1 of our windows.

    I went to see his mother, she tutted , rolled her eyes, then slammed the door on me.

    The situation escalated, so much so, that it was a waste of time me trying to keep gardens tidy, I stopped washing the car (he attacked that too) and the attacks on the house increased.

    Finally I had had enough and reported him to the council. The council informed me they spoke to the mother about it, and all she was intersested in was who had reported him. The next day her sister caught me in the street and threatened me and my family. I am now afraid to report.

    The attacks are now completely out of control. Yesterday (saturday), he attacked the house 4 times, throwing a total of over 50 rocks at the windows and throwing a lot more rubbish in the rear garden. My family and I are terrified.

  • #2
    Hi Les,

    Sorry to read about your problems and they are in effect serious as they are preventing you from living any 'Normal' life.

    Have you been to the Police ?

    You have been threatened by the family. I know it's not going to be great sitting in front of a Police Officer telling him that you have threatened by a female, but, you have to get this sorted and quickly.

    The reason they are threatening you could well be because they have been in this situation before with the previous neighbours and by repeating their past performances they think it would work with you.

    The law has changed regarding the age of Criminal Responsibility and I think - although I do stand to be corrected on this point - it is the age of 10 years. So in effect your little monster next door could be brought before the courts (Youth Courts) to answer for his crimes and misdemeanors.

    I do stress the point that you must stand up to these people. You have the right - the total right - to live in peace. You need to act now and bring this to an end. The reality is Les, that unless your neighbours take some action to stop their behaviour they could well loose their home. Keep on to the Council, photograph and record al the damage and don't let up. When you are threatened report it to the Poice and ask for an Incident Number. The more you have the better your case will be.

    Sorry this is brief for me but I am in the middle of watching my Formula 1 (complete addict) so I shall try and come back in a bit and post some more.


    • #3
      Hi Les and welcome to the board.

      Your story has a very familiar ring to it. Firstly, do you know if any other neighbours are getting the same kind of trouble from this boy? If he is targetting you I would be surprised if he isn't giving trouble to other people.

      I know it can be very intimidating when the parents do not give a hoot what their nasty little offspring are getting up to but will defend them to the point of violence if somebody complains. But I would recommend that you persist in your complaints to the council and tell them that you have been threatened by the equally repulsive aunt. You might have a word with your local community police officer as well. They might have a word with the offender, his mother and the threatening aunt. I think you will find from other members that when someone threatens you they are committing a criminal act.

      Keep a diary and if possible take photographs of the debris and damage to your property. Keep on at the council and also if possible try and find out if any other neighbours will also be prepared to complain. It is not right that your children should feel terrified by this out-of-control, 10 year old monster. A lot of councils now are taking out Anti-social behaviour orders and threatening tenants with evicition if they don't control their kids but they can't do it unless they have the evidence or witnesses. Do you think your council is doing a good job dealing with anti-social behaviour? If not maybe you could also approach your local MP.

      I really do sympathise with you because your story is very like my own and I know just how frightening it can be. But these nasty tenants count on nobody standing up to them or making complaints about them. Hopefully you will find others who will back you up.

      Come back often and let us know how things are going. I'm sure some of the other members will have some good advice as well. Take care.

      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


      • #4
        Okay Les,

        Big purple law book out and I am reading about Young Offenders. The following extract is from the book :-

        'The term 'Young Offender' has a distinct meaning in law. Because children of nine years old and younger are exempt from all criminal proceedings in England and Wales, young offenders are legally defined as young people or juveniles aged between 10 and 17. Their treatment in law is specifically covered in the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984 (PACE) and its accompanying codes of practice.

        When Is a Child Not a Child ?

        The law breaks down childhood into the following stages :-

        Infant:- 9 years and under

        Child:- 10-13 years inclusive

        Young Person:- 14-17 years inclusive

        Adult:- 18 years and over.

        You have two ways to go on this report it to the Police and keep on to the Council and my advice don't let up - persistence will pay off in the end.

        How about the other neighbours ? Have you asked them about your neighbours ?


        • #5
          Welcome to NFH Max power, you'll find a lot of people on here who will give you advice and have been through the c**p you're going through now. I won't go down that route as others do it far better and know a lot more about it than me.

          However, reading your post, I immediately thought, the problems with the 'little darling' haven't happened overnight. Is it worth asking the council if there had been complaints about the neighbours from the previous tenants?

          Perhaps other neighbours know the story of what was going on in the house before you were moved in? The fire for instance, do you know for sure that it was done 'accidentally by the former tenant'? Or were you just told this by the council?

          I find it hard to believe that the young thug has just started this behaviour when your family moved in. My hunch is this is ongoing and you weren't told before you moved in.

          How anyone can roll their eyes and slam the door on you when you have a legitimate complaint is beyond the reasoning of any normal person - but NFH tend not to be on the same planet as the rest of us.

          It's also quite weird that it's one boy on his own doing this as it's gangs who tend to do that sort of thing, so the behaviour is even more disturbing (in my opinion) because of this.

          Is there any way you could video what's going on and show the police? This was done in a case local to us and resulted in a prosecution. (it wasn't a neighbour problem but similar in all other respects)

          I feel for you, having brought your family to a new home and preparing it for your family only to be met with this.

          I know people will see this today and jump in with advice and help, much more than I can give, but I just wanted to say hello and that there are people here who know what you're going through (having similar experiences).

          You're not on your own in all this



          • #6
            Blimey - in the time I took to write that you all jumped in!!!!

            - thoughtful bunch!


            • #7
              Thankyou for such rapid replies, I am sorry that my initial story did not clarify some points. I will attempt to sort them now.

              The fire here was genuine , it started in a tumble dryer, in the kitchen when occupiers were out. (I was a firefighter at that time working for the same county so had access to all fire reports)

              The other neighbours is a strange set up. Next door down from the 10 year old lives his grandmother (his mothers mother), down again are great friends of the grandmother, down again you getting to far away for convenience attacks by him. Up from me lives a family where 1 of the brothers used to be my nbf partner. These families get on very well. Next up is a lovely family who support us fully but never see anything

              Opposite me lives my nfh's sister, and an elderley couple (these were very good friends of my nfh until recently, i was told that the 10 year old did attack their house last week)

              We have had 2 attacks with rocks so far today, but with your encouragement I have decided to purchase a camcorder tomorrow (I did try today but all electrical outlets are closed) and start recording evidence. I still remain scared, but not so much now.

              Thankyou all very much again. I will keep you informed. Do I just add updates on this post as I have done here?


              • #8
                Hi Les,

                Your kids are around the same ages as mine. Something that hasn't come across from your posts here is the effect on them. Authorities sometimes lean in favour of a child when the victim of 'pranks' is an adult. But children's welfare - emotional as well as physical - is always taken seriously. So you need to remind any authorities (landlord, police, social services if they're involved in any way) that children are being victimised as well as adults.

                What about asking the teachers at the school for advice about how you could take things further? They're bound by confidentiality - both ways of course.

                I'd also think about trying to use any available mediation service - your council/landlord should run one, or can refer you to one if NFH is an owner-occupier. From what you say I don't in any way expect that would work, but your attempt to be reasonable would help to demonstrate the NFH's attitude. So the council would be less likely to look on you as an awkward intolerant neighbour...

                Good luck, & keep posting to let us know of developments or to test out ideas/thoughts you may be having.
                "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)


                • #9
                  Hi Les, yes add replies updates on this thread.

                  My god you're surrounded by the family of this little tike (watching my language here, in private would call him something else)

                  I could be totally wrong here but my hunch is the council and authorities already know about this ten year old and his activities - unless people have been too frightened to complain because the family is in all points N.S.E.W.

                  Different strokes for different folks, but I would go to the council and get some answers. Have they knowingly put you in this situation? If so they should b***** well get you out of it.

                  I once confronted kids of that age who were terrorising my boyfriends neighbourhood consisting of 90% old people. It was frightening - there was no response, no verbals, no threats, no nothing - just dead behind the eyes. I was nothing more to them than a fly to be swatted away. Just what is being bred in Britain today?


                  • #10
                    Oh, god, you're living in the middle of a clique!! I'd also point this out to the council when you make your next complaint. Good point made by Tom, really emphasise the effect it is having on your children.

                    It really sounds like this youngster is totally out of control. If he's like this now what will he be like in 5 years time when he's a strapping teenager? I know you feel intimidated by the aunt's threat, but please, when you approach the council, make sure they know how you feel being in the middle of an obviously antisocial family. Tell them you have been threatened and you fear for your family's safety.

                    Good luck

                    "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                    • #11

                      Good idea about the camcorder.

                      Just a point on the age of criminal responsibility - proving the 'little darling' is ten years and over he is of the age whereby he is considered old enough to be responsible for his crimes and that he would know that by what he was doing is wrong.

                      Although this would involve the parent/s so providing you get this all on camcorder and present it to the Police then you should be in a more positive position for him to have a small chat with the local Police Station.

                      Trouble is this one is such a grey area for the Police simply because of his age. As a firefighter do you have any contacts within the Police Force that you could approach about just an off the record chat ?

                      You might find that, that too could yield some clues for you and asisst you in the future with this family.


                      • #12
                        Hi Les and welcome to the forum

                        I'm really sorry to hear about this new neighbourhood that you have recently moved into. It would seem that your local authority (LA) have completely ghetto-ised this family.

                        Someone has said before me that the LA probably knew about this tearaway before you signed your tenancy and I reckon that's probably true.

                        The advice on the camcorder is good. Check other posts about this as filming people can sometimes cause other problems/ name-calling etc.

                        You need to make sure that you inform you local area housing office about this behaviour. Start logging down everything that happens.

                        If I were you, I would also be tempted to call the Police regarding any incident which caused damage/ distress to you/ your family and/or your property.

                        If you have read other posts, you will see that there are very common themes. In your situation, you have various options of the fight -v- flight scenario.

                        Fight - (not literally, well not for me) record them, log them, report them and see what happens.

                        Flight - you and your family move. If you have evidence of the harassment, then the LA may have a duty to rehouse you.

                        Wishing you all the very best in whichever way you decide to go.


                        • #13
                          Hi and welcome Les and your family too.

                          Oh dear - you seem to have the same kind of grief I've got - we've got an entire neighbourhood like that - hate my guts because a) I 'tawk posh' (no I'm not the Countess of anywhere - just speak properly!) I'm a scrounging crip. Crip yes, scrounging no - victim of the NHS. Most awful of all, they think I'm gay. They are actually right but have no proof, but that doesn't stop them!

                          Did the council actually tell them that you reported them? I know it is pretty obvious - but it isn't too difficult for a council to hedge on that - community copper could have seen the little xxx at it, local gossip could have reported him - anyone who has previously suffered from his depredations in fact - I'll bet my boots you aren't the first!

                          >>At age 10 he can be held criminally responsible for his actions.


                          • #14
                            Hi and welcome to the board Les

                            I do sympathise with you, I have had the same things happen to me all over the Easter holidays, and it has really gotten me in an awful state that I have left all the rubbish in my garden

                            It is a fantastic idea about the camcorder

                            I can't really add anything new, but I know your going to get good advice here but one thing I will say is, come back often, I was so depressed I stayed away from here and I really needed someone to talk too, but I always feel that I am moaning too much

                            Log all events and call the Police, my neighbour has threatened me 3 times so far, but he has never touched me I think these NFH threaten to make themselves look big, they are pathetic idiots to be honest

                            Take care & let us know how your doing


                            • #15
                              I stayed away from here and I really needed someone to talk too, but I always feel that I am moaning too much[/b]

                              Dawnie, don't ever feel you are moaning too much. If you feel the need to talk don't hesitate to post. There will always be someone who will understand and reply. That's what we're here for, to give each other support

                              It can be such a feeling of isolation when you are going through what you are so please don't isolate yourself from people here as well I'll guarantee everybody here will agree with what I've said

                              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi