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A Family of bullies!

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  • A Family of bullies!


    I bought this brand new property in July 2001 (2 bedrooms and my dream home for a brand new start after Divorce).

    The Builder who built these properties in a little cul-de-sac lives next door. he seemed so charming when I bought the Property from him but little was I to know!! How gullible and naive I am!

    First of all he had not finished the house - he had not put the handrail up on the stairs which is a legal requirement, he had not done the airing board slats and even had not put the door number on the front door!

    When I approached him about it he went beserk and said I was sick in the head! I told him to p... off which is good for me as I am usually timid lol

    Ever since that day the family of 4 (Adams family!) have sent me to Coventry, manipulated a lot of people in the close so they have all ganged up on me. They all stand and stare as I walk into and out of my house which has nade me very ill and paranoid..... I am going throught he Menopause as it is which is not a good time.

    I have been on Anti-Depressants for the past year and am still very nervy and scared.... they are supposed to be moving into a mansion but have just taken their property off the market - I am devastated!

    The highlight of the year was when after I had had enough...I threatened then with a Solicitor...they jumped in and reported me to Police for assault lol what me!!!!!

    I had to go to Court last Monday - it was very upsetting but everyone was very kind to me as they probably think "what a ******"

    Anyway I feel better for getting that off me chest!

    Thank you for your Website.

    Witsend xxx

  • #2
    Welcome Witsend

    I'm sure you'll get a lot of replies as this is a very similar kind of story to many members on the NFH forum already.

    The builder who you bought from over-reacted by about 1000% didn't he?! I would certainly check out any recourse you may have against him with a solicitor if you haven't already - perhaps the solicitor that dealt with your purchase? I'm assuming the builder didn't live there but are you thinking there were prior neighbour problems/issues with the previous owner and your neighbours if he did?

    How have the problems started do you think? Was the builder a friend/relative of your neighbours that are causing problems? Why do you think this all first started?

    What a typical NFH tactic we see here! Complain about an NFH and they get a counter-complaint in, which is often, or mostly always a total fabrication! The 'ganging' up from NFH to gather 'allies' is also a common trait. Are there any other neighbours you know that can help support you? Do any other people have an issue with the family of 4 that are causing you trouble?

    It sounds really stressful having to put up with the unwanted attention every time you come in and out and not being able to enjoy your own house fully. Again, a let of forum members will understand this and really do know how you feel.

    There isn't an easy solution granted, but you obviously haven't done anything wrong, you are the innocent party and have nothing to hide.

    If you need to and can, use a Solicitor again - do you have good proof of their continued harassment and some other independent witnesses? You have nothing to hide and it doesn't sound like you have given any retaliation that they may be able to use against you (e.g. the allegation of assault) - so take the bull by the horns if you have to and stand your ground, they are bullies at the end of the day. Keep away (I would imagine you do!) from them as much as you can, if you need to approach them, take someone with you if you can to witness what is said/done.

    Sounds like the court outcome was positive for you or can't you say much about that at the moment for possibility of harming any case?

    Don't worry, neighbours like this are often fickle and they may yet still decide to move! Start slowly and little by little to regain some normality, I know it's really hard, don't let them dictate your life to you - you have every right to come and go as you please and enjoy your property, stand up to them and I'm talking psychologically here. Let them know you won't be intimidated and you will enjoy your life and your home in your community - people like this are like playground bullies they soon get bored and find someone else to pick on.

    A big welcome to the board anyway and hope you come back often


    • #3
      Do you know Witsend - I am sitting here just scratching my head for the sheer amount of things that NFH come up with to make other peoples lives a living hell.

      Firstly, am I right in saying that the work in your house has not been fixed ? If so do you have something called an NHBC certificate ? This is given to every new home owner when a property is built, it lasts for a total of ten years, you should have this form in your conveyancing pack and your solicitor should have furnished you with a copy.

      If that is the case - and your builder has registered with the NHBC - then contact them first thing on Tuesday morning. You will need to put down your problems with your home in writing to them. They generally liase with the builder and yourself to getting the work done.

      If the builder refuses then the NHBC pay for someone to come in and rectify the work on your behalf and then claim it back from the builder, although you will not have to worry about that as the NHBC will be then dealing with the builder not you.

      It is faily typical of NFH to get other people to gang up against others to also get them to carry out their dirty work on their behalf and I think it would drive even a very strong personality - like me - to the brink of dispair.

      We are all with you on this, we cannot wave magic wands but, we can offer some good advice and remember a problem shared is a problem halved.


      • #4
        Hi Witsend, welcome to the board.

        When will these people grow up?!! They're no better than playground bullies!! What sad pathetic creatures they are! And the people who do their bidding are even more pathetic.

        Sorry, I get so mad when I hear stories like yours. I know exactly how you feel when they just stand and stare at you. I hate leaving the house when the yobs are outside because they do the same. It's like being trapped in Midwich surrounded by the 'cuckoos'.

        I think Scooby has given you some excellent advice re the NHBC. Maybe your NFH aren't moving because he's been sued too many times for obviously shoddy workmanship! Of course he'd be nice and pleasant to you when he was trying to sell you a house but once you'd handed over the money his true colours come through.

        I'd say try to ignore them but I know this is nigh on impossible. It's a pity he wasn't done for perjury along with any of his witnesses. What a pathetic excuse for a human he must be, picking on a single woman!

        Sorry I can't be of more help, but if you want a shoulder to cry on I'll be listening. Come back often and let us know how things are going.

        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


        • #5
          Hi Witsend

          Yep had a bit of that in my old address were all the people around you turn into the children of the corn, ignore them, well you could but then theyll think your wierd, speak to them and you think theyll ignore you, catch22 i'm afraid, the only way would be to get busy and stay out longer, i know its an easy thing to do but try it, another thing is that you wont be centre of attention all the time, what usually happens is that this merry band of souls will fall out with each other anyway, stay cool.



          • #6
            Hi witsend (and I can see why you're at them) and welcome to the Board

            I would definitely follow Scooby's advice regarding the NHBC issue. The work on your home needs to be finished off. The Builder/nfh must originate from another planet if he doesn't realise that he can't leave a property un-finished.

            You say the builder built "these" properties, how many did he build on the cul-de-sac? Have any other neighbours had problems with items unfinished in their homes?

            I know it will be difficult for you. Being sent to Coventry is not nice. Is there perhaps one neighbour that you could talk to? Having at least one on your side may help your confidence.

            If the builder has only just had for sale sign down, then maybe he's just reviewing his options and considering another different Estate Agents.

            How on earth did this "assault" case get to Court? Was it laughed out of Court?

            Stay with it, come back here often, you will get a great deal of support for us here. Try to rise above their pathetic behaviour.


            • #7
              Hi Witsend,

              welcome to the board,

              You have already been given some great advice so I will not repeat it,

              I hope you find the support you need here!

              come and visit often!


              • #8
                Hi Witsend,

                Sorry to read of your problems with the nfh. I have said i will never live in a Close again, if we can move in the end. The advice given by all is worth following up because it gives you a mission. I was gong to suggest sun glasses as well because it's the eye contact that gives it all away. When they can't see your eyes they don't know if your looking and they don'y like being ignored. Try and read my post i have a similar situation, counter allegations. Others are right, you do have lows but you also have good days. About the coventry thing, if you haven't approached any of your neighbours you won't know exactly what they think. I felt the same, we felt isolated but, and i don't recomend this for everyone, i sent round a letter explaining exactly what was going on. What a surprise i got, the other neighbours didnt realise what anasty bunch my nfh was and since then they have shunned them, so they are getting some of their own medicine and they don't like.

                good luck.


                • #9
                  Hi Witsend,

                  As I read your posts, similarities spring up - I too am a single lady, recently out of a stormy relationship, suffering from depression (due to NFH) and living next door to a "starer" in a cul-de-sac.

                  My point here is, know that you're not alone, I read these posts almost every day, and am surprised at the lengths that NFH will go to just to make others' lives a misery - do these people not have day jobs or other things to do?

                  As mentioned by Badger (another good one , a cheesy smile works wonders (and also does the trick for you too, as you know that deep down, you're REALLY getting to them!)

                  I'm sorry your new start is turning out to be this way, really hope it gets better. I'm selling up and moving away cos have nothing left (no job, relationship or savings left to fund mortgage) - I know how vulnerable you can be after these sequence of events, and just as it feels like you've turned a corner, this piece of c$"p turns up in your life - is fate playing some sort of sick joke?!!!

                  Do try and stay strong, you're independent now, probably got good supportive mates and family and as for these idiots, as I've learnt to my strife, ignoring them is definitely the best way to get at them. Once they get this message, they will move on, as short attention spans etc, like all cerebrally-challenged folk.

                  stick your tongue out to lady luck, and keep smiling!


                  • #10
                    Still getting to know my way around here so not sure where any of me posts are going...

                    Thank you all so much - it is of great comfort I am not alone....I just want to be happy in my little dream house thats all


                    Am gonna wear sunglasses fron now on!!!!

                    Happy Easter



                    • #11
                      Me again!

                      I have come to the conclusion that there is something very scary about cul-de-sacs!!

                      I will never live in one again............thats for sure............



                      • #12

                        Don't worry about finding your way around the board it took me a good two weeks to become accustomed to it all and find where I was going.

                        I was going off in all different directions, so just take your time and have a good look around.

                        Only this week I lost a posting and had to ask Matthew where it had gone !!!


                        • #13
                          I have come to the conclusion that there is something very scary about cul-de-sacs!![/b]

                          I couldn't agree more, Witsend. The biggest mistake we ever made was to move to a close/cul-de-sac. At least if you live in a road you have two directions you can go but in a close you have to walk a gauntlet of hate if the NFH/yobs decide to congregate on the corner. And of course the local parents (I use that word in it's loosest possible sense) think it's great to send their kids to play in a close because they think their little darlings will be safe from traffic.

                          Maybe we should start a movement to outlaw closes, greens and cul-de-sacs Use slogans like 'Sack the sacs', 'close the closes'

                          Anyway Debbie, I hope you get something sorted soon, in the meantime get those mirrored glasses, I wouldn't be without mine

                          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                          • #14
                            HI Witsend,

                            Just want to sympathise with you about cul-de-sacs! Our builder (an extension) lives just across from us. When we didn't pay the last instalment (he, too, hadn't finished properly...) he took us to (the small claims) court - and lost. Still owes us £1.25!! Which we can ask the court to enforce payment of, plus their extra admin costs. We will, when we're ready!

                            I presume your builder is small, local, and not NHBC. If the problems are big enough, try the small claims court. Better to formally ask him to finish/remedy any faulty items, IN WRITING, by recorded post. In the circumstances, it would be reasonable (judges love this word) to ask for him to arrange someone else to do it... IF you went to court you'd need some hard evidence, i.e. a structural engineer's report. This wd cost £250 or so, but you'd get it back when you win, but not if he settles before you go to court. Your local trading standards can AND WILL WANT TO advise, despite being under-resourced.

                            Follow the usual advice about checking if your house insurance covers legal fees BEFORE you consult a solicitor - try Citizens Advice or Trading Standards first.

                            Sounds like you need to find out what the legal options are, and get an idea of their likely impact, before planning any specific action. Remember who the bad guys are here, and don't let neighbourly gossip persuade you otherwise.
                            "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)


                            • #15
                              Oh yes - and try planting prickly bushes in your garden, which can deter kids from playing all over it, and sometimes punctures their footballs! We've got a straggly evergreen thing with long spikes and yellow berries which our predecessors planted. Don't know its name, sorry. And roses (terribly middle-class & suburban) are good too. Get the big bushy ones!
                              "Poor Tom shall lead thee" (King Lear)