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He is so sad he makes me laugh

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  • He is so sad he makes me laugh

    5 year ago I moved to my flat. 5 year ago I wasn't a nervous, parnoid wreck. Not long after moving in I thought I must have left the iron on, forgotten to blow out a candle, a sea horse hanging in my bathroom must have fallen and smashed accidentally, a couple of plants must have blown over, I must have scratched my dining room table, I must have forgotten to lock the chubb lock of my front door. No. More like the weird 75ish nfh had been into my flat. I have no proof but I know. I got my locks changed. My car was scratched. I bought a new car and got a garage. My new car was scratched, radion stations changed, wing mirrors bent inwards, all the time being in 'locked' garage. I then found one morning that if you forced the garage it would open and you could pull it closed still locked. My sister who had also bought in the same development had every panel of her car scratched too. A couple of months ago her wheel nearly came off her car so she took it to a garage and was told that that the nuts were all loose. I had to get my phone number changed because of strange calls, day and night. My brother lives in the same place too and he has also been targeted. So have a few other young people. There is no reason for this nfh to do any of this. Of course not. He comes across as being a nice respectable gentleman but he's not. He's always looking out of this net curtains, watching people coming and going. I always park my car in my garage. When I leave it open, he shuts it. When I shut it, he opens it. Sometimes it's half open, like last night. He just can't keep his hands off. He went away for 2 months and it was always as I left it - open. Then he came back and it started again. I came home after spending Christmas with my parents and my garage had been broken into. I was really upset. Then, he didn't touch the garage - but now he's started again.

    The police know about everything but of course they are doing s*d all - typical.

    I'm been knocked down so many times now that noone can know me down any lower. I don't give a damn about him anymore. He can continue all he likes but sooner or later he'll get his cumupance. He has continuously harrassed me for 5 years and made me a nervous wreck but somehow I feel stronger. He wants to drive me out of my home and I think he has succeeded but I'll be around for a lot longer than he will so I shall rent it out until the day I die.

  • #2
    Hi Sarah, and welcome to the board.

    I think we all accept now that NFH come in all shapes and forms and ages. Yours sounds particularly nasty. Scratching your car is criminal damage which is illegal, so is making anonymous phone calls. Have you reported it to the telephone company? Loosening the nuts on your sister's wheels sounds like attempted murder to me! At the very least causing damage with the intent to endanger life.

    Unfortunately unless you or somebody else actually witnesses your NFH doing any damage there's not a lot the police can do about it. I know it sounds harsh, but they need evidence.

    You say a few other people have been targetted by this NFH. Have you got together and made a complaint to the landlord? This man sounds not only nasty but dangerous if he is tampering with cars. His actions could lead to someone being seriously hurt or worse.

    I think you and your other neighbours would be wise to keep a log of all incidents.

    I think you're very brave in your attitude. Good luck in getting something done to stop your NFH.

    "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


    • #3
      Hi Sarah,

      Gosh this is particulary evil, even by my NFH's standards. I agree with what Misty and Badger have said, get some surveillance. You can actually hire camcorders for a few pounds per day. I know it will probably mean sitting up all night to catch him but it could pay off in the long run.

      How about getting your family to smuggle themselves into your garage and then when he comes along, nabb him. I don't know what the rules are for a citizens arrest - speak to your local police station and particulary your crime prevention officer and while you are at it tell them exactly what has been going on. I think you will find that they will believe you, unfortunately they just don't have the time or the resources these days to sit in wait.

      Badger was smack bang right about the wheel nuts being attempted murder this is serious stuff. I don't honestly know what makes these kind of people tick the way they do but 75 year old or not, this is no excuse.

      I'm baffled as to how he had a key in the first place to gain entry to your home. This is taking his activities into a different dimension. You need proof and you need it quickly. This man is a menace not only to you but to society in general. Get to your solicitor and get advice - your first 30 minutes with them is free.

      Other than your family have any other residents other than the ones you are aware of had any problems or has he just targeted young people in particular ? Could you speak with any other neighbours and ask them if they have seen anything and know any previous history that you are not aware of. I have said this before and I will say it again - unless you ask you will not find out and if you ask the question in the right way you never know what the reply is going to be.


      • #4
        I've had another thought on this. It appears - if what you have stated is right - that he targets other neighbours particulary the young.

        If this is the case he has a major hang up about young people in general and an almost pathological hatred at the fact that the young are able to (what he deems in his eyes) afford cars, homes, nice furniture, clothes, freedom and so on. It appears that if he is the perpetrator, then my answer to this would be that in his younger days he was not afforded the freedom and the material things that we all take for granted. Therefore, it is a deep rooted sense of injustice at what he sees as being hard done by himself - do you get my drift ? It's a bit of a psycological spin on this but a useful angle that I have been able to deal with my NFH. If you can kind of understand their behavioural patterns then it makes it much easier to deal with and catch them in the act.

        There is one other thing. If someone younger than yourself was to move into your neighbourhood, then he could quite well divert his attentions from you onto them and I'm guessing here that when you moved in that is exactly what happened to you. For now you are - in his eyes - public enemy number 1.

        Don't be a victim do something about this. Catch the swine and present the evidence to the police. Log everything down in a book including all your fears and emotions. Get together with your other neighbours and get the tables turned. NFH's are only topdog for so long.


        • #5
          Hi Sarah, welcome to the board, I'm glad you're here

          Wow....this guy spooks me out just reading your story. The things that are happening appear to be targetted at all the other people you've mentioned, but it does seem to be a clear case of harassment and you could also say, perhaps one of 'stalking' - which it seems to be in some senses.

          The thing that also occurred to me first (as it did to the others), was CCTV. Inside and outside - discreetly placed and hidden, could get you the evidence you need to get action against this socially-inept individual. I take it, the Police aren't able to take steps because of lack of evidence? Or is it, they are unwilling for other reasons?

          How is he getting into your car? Silly question, I know, but I'm assuming it's locked even when in the garage, so this guy seems to be pretty skilled at avoiding locks (lock picking?) etc?

          Is it the same for your flat? Has that happened again recently?

          You could even get a dummy CCTV camera 'installed' outside the garage/flat and let it be known (very loudly!) in the area, it's real....that may do the trick.

          Just found some articles, that look very helpful:

          From Harassment Law UK

          2 Different extracts:

          Dealing with Stalking:

          One of the difficulties in Stalking cases, and most types of Harassment case, is that there is often very little physical evidence of what is happening and dates are often unspecified. This also makes it difficult for persons wrongly accused of harassment if the allegations are vague and imprecise. In order for a victim of stalking to be able to win a stalking case it is important to keep a diary of events with details of what has happened, dates, times and places.[/b]

          There is no legal definition of stalking in the UK, however, the term ‘stalking’ is generally used to describe a form of behaviour which involves the unwelcome and repeated following of or communicating with another person in a manner which that person finds distressing or threatening.

          In most such cases the victim is a person with whom the perpetrator has had or would like to have an intimate or personal relationship. ‘Stalking’ is often used interchangeably or in conjunction with ‘harassment’ to describe the same or similar types of behaviour.

          The frequent conflation of the terms ‘stalking’ and ‘harassment’ is understandable as stalking can be regarded as a serious form of harassment and there is no clear division between the two forms of behaviour. However, a distinction is usually drawn between behaviour which, while possibly recurrent and annoying, such as neighbour nuisance, poses little real threat to the victim, and more serious personal harassment in which individuals are repeated targets of one or more perpetrators.

          Similarly, harassment targeted on specific groups because of racial

          or religious affiliation is not usually regarded as stalking even though the effect on the victim might be similar. In general, then, harassment is not regarded as stalking where the harassment is minor or random, where it does not present what is often termed a ‘credible threat’ to the victim or where there is no real or perceived personal relationship between the perpetrator and victim.


          The UK Government’s principal legislative response to the issue of stalking and harassment to date has been the Protection from Harassment Act 1997. While this Act does not mention stalking per se, it adopts a definition of harassment that includes behaviour which could be construed as stalking.[/b]

          Please come back often and let us know how you're doing and getting on with things


          • #6
            hi sarah and welcome! im very sorry to read your story, god!, he sounds like an evil man, and a stalker, it must be awful for you but i always say what goes round comes round and he will get one day his just desserts.

            in the mean time i know its hard to keep your spirits up but for your own sanity sometimes is better to ignore this kind of behavour, otherwise u end up loopy.

            good luck for the future i hope things get sorted out soon for you.



            • #7
              Hello Sarah,

              This sounds creepy. What a horrible so & so doing all this.

              Some sort of photography trap/ cctv would catch him in the act & there's the evidence. Kindly proceed, ol' criminal justice system!

              We had a 'dingbat' case who sneaked around our yard at night, graffiti, disturbing things, etc. Ultimately we felt sorry for the pathetic creature, but at times it was creepy & awful. I often felt like setting booby traps. Any way you can fit in the bucket of whitewash on an ajar door trick?

              People like your nfh so desperartely need the cure for whatever disorder it is that makes him behave like this. Hope it comes his way soon.

              If annyone knows how to cure someone's malicious fixation upon yourself, I would bet Sarah (and myself) would like to hear it.

              Keep in touch & let us know how you et on.



              • #8
                I have a some ideas, get some friends together with a video camera and a microphone and get them to wait in the garage, then when he opens the garage door try and interview him (cook report style) ask him why he is displaying "stalking" like behaviour etc tec. that should put the wind up him.

                Or an even easier alternative would be to get some plain cardboard boxes and put bottles of yellow liquid in them (what you use is up to you!) then make a stencil saying "danger biological hazard" and another stencil with a load of arabic writing and the words "Anthrax Spores" make labels on the computer and stick them on, basically anything to make it look authentic then leave them in your garage. Now, if this guy does indeed believe he's James Bond then the thought of actually shopping you as being a terrorist will be quite appealing, he will contact the police, all they will find is bottles of lemon juice or whatever, then that leaves the question "what was he doing in your locked garage in the first place?"

                Alternatively play his game, gain entry to his house and fill up his hair conditioner with immac. (Only joking but I did play this one on an old ex girlfriend)

                "no matter where you are, that's where you've been".


                • #9
                  Or an even easier alternative would be to get some plain cardboard boxes and put bottles of yellow liquid in them (what you use is up to you!) then make a stencil saying "danger biological hazard" and another stencil with a load of arabic writing and the words "Anthrax Spores"[/b]

                  Er, I'd be a bit wary of doing that. The way things are you might end up in real trouble even if the old bloke was in the garage illegally. I know we're not quite as bad as the United States, but I've read about people being jailed for perpetrating similar hoaxes.

                  In today's climate I don't think the police would take chances and they might call upon other emergency services. I could back fire on you.

                  Just a thought

                  "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                  • #10
                    Thanks for everyone's concern. I would love to do some of the things you have suggested (I have even thought of a couple of them myself!!!!) but I'm afraid the best I have done is to spray the top of the garage with water from a hose for about 5 mins so at least he might get a little bit wet. I did think about a few bags of flour or some baking trays .................... I just know that if I do something I'll be the one that gets caught!

                    A couple of people have suggested clubbing together to get CCTV - but I think the first sign of a camera up and he would stop. Besides, the 'community care' (??!) officers are supposed to be looking in to this since they've had about 15 different reports of criminal damage. I think they've taken an extended holiday since I haven' t heard from them for about 2 months.


                    • #11
                      Hi Sarah,

                      Have you thought of contacting Social Services yourself regarding this person and stating that you want the Officers dealing with the case to DO something and to do it fairly quickly? I have posted somewhere else about Social Services duty to assess those in need of "care". Tell them you feel he needs it urgently and that you think they should carry out an asessment under section 47 NHS and Community Care Act 1990.

                      If this person is a risk to self and others, then the Police/ Social Services/ Community Mental Health Team need to consider whether he needs to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

                      The other thing that you could consider is having an initial consultation with a Solicitor/ Specialist (which should be free - make sure that the provider is part of the Community Legal Service (CLS)) - check on - search the directory in your area for the kind of advice/ assistance you're looking for, i.e. harassment.

                      Hope this helps?