No announcement yet.

Harrassed New Member

This topic is closed.
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Harrassed New Member

    Just found this forum today, did a search on 'Neighbours From Hell' after yet another episode in my long-running saga with a drunken and abusive neighbour, which I've endured for almost a year now, after buying a flat where the vendor did not disclose what I now know, that she too had been on the receiving end of the same treatment from this dreadful man.

    This is all in the hands of my solicitor, and my NFH is just about to receive an eviction order from the freeholder ( who is the NFH's ex-boyfriend, so the whole thing is very complicated!). I suspect I'm about to suffer worse abuse once he receives this notice.

    The police make sympathetic noises but do nothing, and I find it hard to believe I'm meant to endure being terrified to go in and out of my own home, and to spend sleepless nights while he screams insults and abuse at me, but it would seem that I am. I live alone, and his behaviour has made my life in what should have been a lovely property unbearable.

    If anyone has had a similar experience, and can offer advice, I'd be glad to hear it.


  • #2
    Hi Brightsue,

    Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I've not been in that kind of situation so I'll leave it some of the others to give you advice. I've read a couple of similar stories to yours here.

    It seems time and time again we hear the same story about the police being ineffective. I don't think we can blame it entirely on individual officers, it seems to be down to the 'system'. If you are really afraid that your NFH might do you harm could you possibly ask the police for some sort of alarm? If not, I suggest that at the first hint of any trouble you dial 999. I'm sure everybody here would agree, you cannot let yourself be put in danger.

    If you have to, scream down the phone!! Don't let them fob you off.

    Good luck, hopefully your NFH will give up without a fight and go quietly.

    "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


    • #3
      Hi Brightsue,

      Welcome to the forum; you're certainly living with an awful situation and the feelings of dread and fear for your personal safety are ones many of us have experienced on the board. You are being prevented from enjoying your own home and relaxing, it's your right to be able to enjoy your property, not dread about going home to it.

      At least things are looking promising on the horizon, with your NFH soon to go (fingers crossed), but as you say, things could get worse in the meantime. I think in your situation, I'd be tempted to ignore NFH as much as possible now and don't get into any confrontation at all, if he's going, it not worth your hassle or the stress. Keep yourself safe, that's the most important.

      Do you have any recourse of action open to you with the original vendor on your property, for not disclosing any facts relating to neighbours, etc?

      Come back often, as you can see, you're not alone here, and you'll get the support/sympathy you need


      • #4
        Hi brightsue,

        welcome to our oasis!

        I am sorry to hear that you have one of those NFH, we were unfortunate enough to have something similar but not to the same extent.

        as Matthew says, keep your self safe, that is the most important thing.

        if this guy is getting evicted I would keep well away from him, but

        you need to start logging threats/noise etc made against you in case you need them as evidence....we always look on the bright side!!

        I hope this guy will just move out of your life and leave you in peace, please let us know how things go


        • #5
          Hi Brightsue - welcome from another new member who has one like yours - one one side; their drunken racket put a stop to my Open University studies; it is noisy as hell here during the day - so i thought I'd be able to study at night . . . . ha ha. Only problem - they are right-to-buy owners and we are tenants.

          They have the rights we hvae the noise. I know what youi are suffering because I get the shouted abuse and physical threats too and I am in a wheelchair - luckily for him. Mind you were I not disabled we wouldn't be here at all, we'd still be in Scotland where NFH's are rarer.

          We had the same thing about non-disclosure - were lied to by the previous tenants (abpouit the statre of the place as well as the neighbourhood) and the Housing Dept didn't follow the Homeswap guidelines either . . and as this an extremely corrupt council complaints get one nowhere - only actual court is any good - and guess what? Can't afford it which the council are perfectly well aware of.

          We have the same problem as do you with the police - they have the main South Bristol station only half a mile away - but the only coppers we see are the ones tearing back to the station for their break. Policing is non-existent for us.

          You are right to fear escalation and payback - be3cause the guy probably knows just how useless the police are at enforcing - especially as it is 'domestic', not 'real crime' and 'they are busy'. Sure - all true - but a change in priorities wouldn't go amiss would it? They prefer playing Starsky and Hutch and Miami Vice with their helicopter tho and that isn't much use for the sort of policing you need is it?

          We are forced to keep a large Alsation as few of the windows in this place lock, nonoe of the doors are secure - I could, in my condition, illegally enter this house by any entrance, either floor. Yes, sure the council are 'obliged' to keep the place secure - but I can't clear up after their damn workmen - who are 'only working for the council' so refuse to behave as if they are in someone's private property. We do our own repairs if at all possible. Oddly enough, my eldest son and I get them done rapidly, with no mess and for less cost than we would pay for the cleaning materials and hot water we need after the council have been in.

          Still, you have landed up in the right place because the feeling of support here is tremendous - being able to tell someone about it without eyes glazing over - and although I've not yet had toimme to investigate all there is real advice to be had too.

          Beth is right about logging all incidents - everything should go down. It may seem a bother but when it is finally put together as evidence, it is impressive in its amount and truly shows how often you are got at and therefore how much your life is disrupted.

          Remember - *you* are in the right. All you are trying to do is live and let live. If this person cannot control himself when he has been drinking, he should stay away from it - or from other people; and there is no way on this good earth that you should be frightened or forced to alter your comings and goings one jot to avoid his boorish behaviour.

          I've had over 7 years of harassment in this place - it's gone on so long because a) I can't get out of the house to bang desks and Bristol is a series of idle and inefficient departments who couldn't gfive a damn how miserable people are - taking action against bad tenants costs money, you know!! so they happily break their tenancy agreements knowing that we cannot afford to take them to court for it

          I have no extended family to help out with ANYthing - and cannot sit up to type for long or keep chasing paper round the house (can't keep it ALL naer the computer - I have to live in this room too!)

          Still, I quite often get laughs out of it when my dear neighbours dig themselves into a hole!

          More about that later.

          Best of luck with it all - you have a much better chance of getting something done being an owner - and I hope you have a better local authority than we do.

          One thing - if you get a personal alarm which can be very useful in more ways than just attracting attention - get one that is (very important this) MINIMUM 130dB - let that off by his ear and it will be SO painful he won't be able to do much but try and get away from it. It works. I've done it.

          I've been alone in the world since age 16 and had to survive long before there were organisations for homeless young people, (I officially did not exist) so I'm full of nasty little tricks like that - no mess, no blood to get out of the carpet and most important, no paperwork - which is how come I've survived for 47 years even with 37 of them disabled-but-supposedly-perfectly-ok.

          Look forward to the day when you come out on top - you are bound to, because he is going to drink himself into the gutter . . . so hang on and be in a good position to watch when he finally comes his cropper.

          All the best



          • #6

            Your plight sounds awful. The authorities should help both shouty and you, some kind of psychiatric help is needed by shouty before he drives you mad too.

            A stern warning from the police may quell his nonsense. So might a short, sharp shock as suggested by Tannasq. There's always a risk that a response may fuel him, but if ignoring him doesn't work...

            Good luck. Hope you get it sorted. I'd be most interested to hear what you find to work, so please keep posting.



            • #7
              MEA CULPA!

              Whoops - I should have made it plain that the loud alarm is to be let off in the 'person's' earhole ONLY if he actually attacks or gives you reason to suppose he will. If he is close enough for the alarm to be effective, then he was definitely closer than you invited him to be.

              Terribly sorry - should have emphasised that you must always remain on the moral high ground (sounds like you've got to be a walking prig but that really isn't so - if you live like a reasonable human being you are already on the the firmest of ground! Not wishing to risk provoking him - only act defensively.

              As these things are encouraged by the police for personal protection - you can't be done for damaging his hearing with a sonic device! In fact using something that is effective with minimal damage (tinnitus for a few days) earns you brownie points in the eyes of the law for NOT taking a sledgehammer to the problem.

              Actually, I derive some considerable amusement from plotting ways to catch out the various pests this neighbourhood has without actually making myself liable for anything, spending a fortune on security equipment (which can't be removed from the wall and be used as a personal guard like a dog can . . .)

              Plotting these plots is a great way of letting off steam!

              One thing I have found extremely useful - a camera. With or without film - they can't tell, can they?

              but if they think you are taking pix as evidence of their goings on that does tend to put a damper on things. A digital camera is of course excellent cos it doesn't have almighty development costs . . .

              I appear at a window when I hear the little 'darlings' at it outside - and the minute they see the camera they are off because they know I can't report them if I don't know their names - but if I have a picture, they're all so well known to the law that I-D would be immediate, thus preventing the police refusing to do anything because I can't name the little swine or even describe them since at a distance of 25 ft or so they tend to look much the same, all wearing the same sports clothes, the same haircut and all swearing llike troopers.

              Now I have cable broadband, I am also thinking of hooking up a webcam in the window that faces the gate- and putting a notice on the gate saying that the camera is hooked up to my site so their goings on are visible to the world and are being recorded for later use.

              I sincerely hope that he gets so inebriated that your problem is solved for you when his liver packs up or he staggers under a bus - but whatever, you do have a right to peace and quiet - everyone does, especially since we have to spend 16 hours a day putting up with a degree of noise that our forbears never had to cope with - and it is a terrible cause of stress. (all sounds together combine to make a higher decibel level - those who turn up the tv thinking it will enable them to hear it rarely realise that all they are doing is adding to the problem, and that in any case, those who drink to excess have numbed hearing and don't realise just how noisy they actually are, or how loud a tv or whatever is.)

              The latest curse here are those little motor scoot things. The electric ones - fine. they are silent. the type that have a small IC engine are absolute hell. They have those nasty engines that sound like snarling - like a chainsaw - it is a really nasty 'bad-tempered' sort of noise; the kind that is so difficult to ignore because you never know it is coming and when it does it drowns everything out.

              Particularly when they - since Xmas, a whole pack of them now hang aound here just endlessly screaming around the block - theuy like this road because it has plenty of 'disappearance places' where police cars can't follow, as well as leading to a number of escape routes - so we get all the joyriders, trails bikes - the lot.

              The camera thing came in handy with our next door drunk too - my ex ws in the garden talking to the dog (who was not trying to tear the neighbour's throat out gut, just chewing his bone) with his back to the wall between gardens. I was upstairs in the room overlooking the garden. All of a sudden, this person picks up a concrete block, raised it up over his head, moved closer to the wall - and went to throw the block onto my husband's bent back. I banged hard on the window - and waved the camera. He dropped the block VERY fast but even so, he thinks I actually have a pic of him doing this. (If only I had!) Unfortunately that was before digital cameras were affordable and I rarely had hard film cos of the developing costs - but agin, he didn't know it was empty so he probably thinks that I do have the pic.

              >>You are being prevented from enjoying your own home and relaxing, it's your right to be able to enjoy your property, not dread about going home to it.