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And so it goes on..

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  • And so it goes on..

    A big Hi to everyone on these pages. I've been looking at these pages over the last few days whilst going through my own NFH problems. I read Mark and Caroline's pages and can't stop thinking about them, my heart goes out to them. We too are contemplating moving, I honestly believe that is the only answer (if you are able to) in most cases. You have one life, why waste it living in misery.

    I was going to post for the first time next week when I'm not so busy, but reading these pages I find myself thinking about the injustice of it all. I too now suffer from mild agoraphobia due to a NFH a few years ago. It is painful to go over it all, as everywhere we have lived we have had problems with neighbours, but only one true NFH. When things are less busy I'll tell you all my story, but I will say, that a few years ago I used to dream of having a house with absolutely no neighbours, but if you think about it, it's an impossible dream, as all land is owned by someone. Now we have no near neighbours. The nearest dwelling to us is over a third of a mile away, but they're not the problem, the farmer who owns the land immediately around us is not the problem either. However. The RAF helicopters, (horror story) hot air balloons, and light aircraft (who fly out from their airfield to do aerobatics over our house) are. Put on top of that the shooting that's been happening every day for the last few weeks, including on Sunday mornings, and you can picture what's happening to us. There's a lot more to my story but I have to get back to doing some work. I work from home so need peace and quiet to work.

    I just wanted to make contact (sounds like an alien!!) with you all, as believe me, I understand all those feelings I've read about on this forum, the tightening in the stomach, the anger, frustration and despair, and just wanting to live your life in peace and quiet.

    One thing I've never understood is this; If someone asked me to turn my music down - I would be embarrassed by the fact that I'd upset someone - do these NFH (and they are another species) not have a conscience? They don't do they? They can't possibly empathise with other members of the human race.

    At the moment I am playing dance and trance music quite loudly, but the difference is this; no one can hear it except me. Even if I opened all the windows, absolutely no one could hear it. If I were in a flat or had near neighbours? Headphones. That to me is just common sense, but then, that's just one of many attributes lacking in NFH.

    Even my partner calls it 'the noise at the top of the stairs' or 'the row' - but it doesn't affect him as he only hears it when he comes into my office - and that's enough for him!!!!!! Anyone with half a brain cell kicking about knows that this type of music penetrates in a way no other music does. I'm just looking at the bass lights jumping on my CD system and that is with the bass booster off and the bass at a normal level. If I switched the bass up and put the bass booster on - well it might sound like Concorde taking off. If someone is doing that against a party wall, their brain has been removed. To have this pumping through someone else's wall at late hours???? Call the men in white suits, we have a nutter alert. Also - how can you ENJOY the music when you know it's annnoying someone else? Not just annoying them, but making them ill? I certainly couldn't.

    All the EHO's in the world are not going to stop these ****** understanding what hell they are putting other people through. Enough of my moans, I just really wanted to make contact and say Hi, as what we are going through is so isolating - and that these pages have helped me over the last week or so.

    Be back soon. Good wishes to everyone going through it right now


  • #2
    Hi Spinky,


    You are the first person who has posted about a different type of noise pollution!

    I can imagine it must be hard living in your perfect dream house when there is still so much noise going on and noise that you have no control over....

    it is not just a case of "excuse me sub comander, but could you please turn down your jump jet!"

    I used to live near a MOD airbase and we were all used to the noise, when they were doing night manovers we were all warned as everyone on our estate worked there, I kinda grow up with it.

    the base closed years ago due to cut backs (it is now Yarls Wood.....the detention center that got burnt down last year! and it was also the place where Glenn Miller took his last flight from)

    Now I am not used to aircraft noise anymore and dont think I would be able to deal with such noise on a daily basis.

    In fact I like to shake my fist at the damned police helicopter when it passes over during the night...most weekends!

    Im used to my life being a lot quieter, at first we all missed the planes going over and then you just enjoy the peace and quiet.

    I now live in Yorkshire and find that living near Leeds can be quite loud (but intresting!)

    I do feel for you and I am intrested in reading everyones views about this type of noise disturbance!

    Yes Horsefans......we know!!!

    hope you dont feel so isolated now



    • #3
      Hi Spinkysay and welcome.

      Isn't it amazing that even in the depths of the countryside, a place where some of us would love to live, there is no peace? I can sympathise about the aircraft noise, I live about 400 yards away from our local airport. In summer especially we can hardly hear ourselves think when all the holiday flights are on the move. Mind you, I wouldn't mind too much if that was our only problem, I'm fairly used to it now, even at 3am!

      Oh, you are so right about the feeling of isolation though, even in a city or town you can feel as though you're fighting a solitary losing battle with the NFH, the yobs and bureaucracy!

      Anyway, I hope we can give you some moral support and a shoulder to cry on. Take care.

      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


      • #4
        Hi Spinkysay,

        I couldn't have put it better myself about the mentality of NHFs. It seems that they are totally oblivious to anyone else's feelings even when its pointed out to them...... totally alien to me. As I've posted elsewhere, when our new neighbours moved in they were loud and we called them mutants. Thankfully they've calmed down now as we're selling up. Had enough of living next door to the house that everyone rents who likes loud music. Saying that... I like loud music myself but as you said, I could not enjoy it knowing that I was inflicting it upon another person.


        • #5
          Hi Spinky

          Welcome to the board, your situation is definitely unique in the fact that you're the first member to have this kind of problem and in other ways like you've described, you also feel the anguish, sheer despair (of not being able to do anything about the problem that is tangible) and upset of it all that often affects us all when dealing with NFH orientated situations.

          NFH live on their own planet they simply don't care, nor respect anyone else's needs, desires, wishes or rights to have a peaceful life, they are so 'soaked' in their own (often petty) lives they simply do not even recognise other people have needs and if they do, they rarely give 2p about it.

          Like you, I often applied what I'd do in place of my NFH - I used to think, surely if that was me and someone complained I'd be so embarassed, I'd immediately rectify the situation and ensure it never happened again. NFH seem to have no embarassment levels - and should you have the cheek (they see it this way anyway!) to complain about their actions to them and make them aware about what they're doing is disturbing you/affecting your life - they have a convenient method of turning the problem around on you, by blaming you for it happening in the first place!

          Looking forward to reading all your details and hope you can get to the board often


          • #6
            Hi Spinky!!

            A lot of people have an idea of the country idill!! but we used to live on a farm and things can be just as bad in the sticks so my sympathies go out you you!!

            The farmer dumped his dung in the field opposite our front window!! etc etc, the neighbour was am absolute fruitcake - could bore you with tales of "country life"!!

            Suppose the best can offer re the RAF issue is a shoulder to cry on-sorry

            Although the nuclear option could be explored!!

            ( one for E.Beth)!!

            You are right that most decent citizens would consider other people in their daily activities but the recurring theme in each and every post is that most NFH are jealous, self centered morons who have absolutely no idea how to interact with other human beings!!

            welcome to the site


            "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"

            apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan

            Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!


            • #7
              Thanks to everyone for their kind comments - as I honestly believe, that unless you've been there, in the hellish situations talked about on these boards - then you have no idea what it's like. So here, I feel I can be understood, which means a lot I can tell you.

              As I said before we've had bad neighbours (and good) in every place we've lived, but the true NFH was a few years ago and even now I get angry and frustrated thinking about it - and still want revenge, so I don't think about it, we've moved on (literally and geographically). I'll satrt with the last house we moved to, which was a company move (thank god as the house we left had 'travellers' camped at the bottom of the road causing us and everyone else much grief, PLUS a neighbour's son who started to repair an old car every Saturday using an angle grinder - which was outside the wall of our living room. Try relaxing listening to one of those... So the last house, we thought we chose well, as it only had one neighbour, and they were at the end of a long garden over a brook with a hedge and a fence in between. He'd bought a big property and was doing it up - you can see where this is going can't you???!!!! He looked like he'd nearly finished and the people selling said he'd nearly finished and that there was "a bit of banging now and again". We also asked if there was any hunting or shooting locally as we're both animal lovers and despise that sort of thing. We were told no. Three weeks after moving in I heard music in what I thought was our garden, I thought it might be the new coal man with his car stereo on!!!! I go out to see our neighbour in his garden with the car stereo on, all car doors open, while he worked outside. My heart sank. To cut things short; a few weeks of this and I tried to call round to ask him politely to turn it down as I could hear it indoors. I was met by a massive barking dog at his gate so turned back!!! A neighbour from way down the road introduced herself not long after this and I was so desperate I asked her if she would have a word with him as apparently she knew him. She did have a word and he came round and apologised. Sorted I thought. But of course we all think that. Very soon, the chainsaw came out. Every day, week after week, cutting down a bank of trees on his land which took away the privacy for both of us. Chainsaws, generators at all times of the night, every power tool known to man he had and used. Weekends no different. Partner would come home in the evenings and weekends and had to put up with this after long hard days in a stressful job. This man wasn't malicious in any way, he wasn't doing it on purpose, he was just... lets say single minded. He could see the job in hand and nothing else. Then the next January we could not believe our eyes; a shooting party planted itself ten feet from our kitchen window, about 12 men with dogs waiting for other men to beat the birds towards their guns. The noise was HORRIFIC - can you imagine twelve shotguns going off at once? For about two hours?????? My partner went out to them asking them to please not come so close to the house, we were frightened, our dogs were terrified, it's something we loathe anyway. What did they do? Ignore him. Didn't even look in his direction, they just kept on shooting, and then a dead bird landing on our hedge. I can't even tell you how upset that made us feel - we're both vegetarians. Two weeks later it happened again. On Monday I called EHD. A man came round, I showed him where they were shooting, he said he'd get in touch with the landowner. We had an apology from the shooting *******s explaining what they were doing and saying they would move away from the house. Two weeks later they were back and had moved four or five feet away... (???) So what with chummy and his one man power tool industry going 24/7 and the shooting fraternity, we put the house on the market and moved here. No neighbours, farmland, National trust forest behind us, we thought we'd made it this time. Of course by this time one of our dogs who is blind, had become petrified of the sound of guns - his whole body shakes and trembles with it. So we asked in no uncertain terms, the owner and the estate agent - who lives in the village - if there was any hunting or shooting. He said "No it's the wrong territory for it". The estate agent said there was shooting in the area but not around us. I said "How far away?" and he pointed into the distance, at fields at the other end of the valley. I explained we were animal lovers, plus we had a blind dog. I wonder why they never told me about the farm supply half a mile away that supplies hunting and shooting folk, or about the hunting in the forest behind us, or about the shooting by the local landowners that goes on in the woods across the road??? You may ask why we didn't sue, but there were other problems more pressing at the time - like being sold a house with no running water. We had no water supply for seven months. The ex owner had knowingly sold a house that had no water supply. He wasn't living there, the people who rented it had it delivered from him - which we had to continue with until it was sorted out. The ex owner is the most despicable man I've yet to meet and a con artist to boot - also not someone to cross as he's a pretty unsavoury character. However, we were threatening legal action, so ex owner had to pay for new pipework to be fitted as it's obvious who would win that one in court.

              So with the background of the last bad neighbour and the water situation, you'd think we deserved a bit of hassle free living? Next time I'll tell you about the horror story that is the RAF helicopters. Oh nearly forgot; the neighbour who owned the land around us put a bird scarer in the next field. It went off three times every half hour from 7.30 a.m to 5.30 pm for about two and a half months. The farm worker would switch it off now and again to give us some peace, but not for long as he was terrified of the farmer. A bird scarer makes as much noise as a cannon... We even had it going on Christmas Day.

              Luckily another farmer bought the land around us two years ago and we get on with very well with him. in fact we wish we could take him with us. He shoots, but no where near the house and he sends me an e mail telling me what day they'll be doing it so I can exercise the dogs before they're around. Plus he hardly ever has a 'shoot' About twice a season I think he does it.

              Sorry to go on a bit, thanks again for the kind wishes, be back soon with the helicoptor hell.



              • #8
                Flippin' 'eck, Spinkysay you've lived through a nightmare Seems you get rid of one NFH and end up with another. Which just goes to prove, sadly, that NFH are all over.

                Morons with guns, well, if they can blast innocent little birds out of the sky for sport then they can't have much, if any compassion anyway. Sickos

                We can all understand about the bird scarers. If we aren't near them (I am, they have them at the airport), then we only have to think about fireworks!! What is it about the brainless that they like to hear loud noises? I mean they must reverberate around their empty skulls for ages!

                You have my sympathy, really you do. Seems there's no escape from NFH *sigh*.

                I await your next installment with a touch of trepidation.

                "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                • #9
                  Hi spinksay

                  You hit the nail on the head - exactly

                  One code i automatically live my life by is that anything i do, i try to ensure that it does not adversely affect those around me. I am not perfect though - but if anyone points out that something i am doing is bothering them in anyway, i would do my damndest to accommodate their wishes. Yup, i would feel ashamed if i found that i was disturbing someone else’s right to peace and quiet.

                  I think that this is possibly a contributory factor to the stress we feel when we come across NsFH- we have witnessed the polar opposite of humanity. A relentless hedonistic autonoman sent out from the bowels of hell to take the fruits of materialistic decadence to its logical conclusion – to do whatever pleases it at the expense of others; in place of its conscience and empathy is an all-consuming warped black hole sucking in our souls through its mad staring, yet deadened eyes. As they find partners, they breed, and they train their offspring well in the art of psychological terrorism.

                  Ahem… sorry about that, just having one of them dark night of the soul moments . I feel better now. Honest


                  • #10
                    Couldn't have put it better myself, even if I tried, nemesis. An excellent description, if you don't mind me saying so.

                    That's the thing about NFH, they stir up all sorts of dark thoughts in your head!! Still I'd rather be me than them

                    "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                    • #11
                      Boy am I glad I found this site. I've just logged in to say thanks to everyone for taking the time to reply.

                      I'll be back in a couple of days or so to answer properly - I'm moving my office at the moment, so books, papers, office furniture etc etc all over the place - if I don't sort it out I'll never find anything again. But then what's new.