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  • Intimidation

    We moved into our house in August 1997 and we thought we got on well with our neighbours……until May 1998. I was in my kitchen doing some decorationg when all of a sudden there was a comotion in the back garden when my neighbour threw 2 large pallets up against our wire fence. He frightened the living daylights out of my 2 year old son. His said his reason was that my son was throwing large boulders over the fence at his daughter. I don’t think my 2 year old son was capable of moving a boulder let alone throw one over the fence. If he was throwing stones, why didn’t my neighbour just come round and tell us instead of having a wobbly?

    For the next 3 or 4 years, every now and then he would intermittently turn his music up and down. It would always be after we had friends or relatives round for the day. After we had friends round one day in December 2001, he went beserk and started thumping on the wall like mad. I went round his house to find out what his problem was and I could his silhouette through the door. He was jumping round his frontroom like a madman. He accused us of all sorts, like clicking the light switch on and off constantly for hours on end (it apparently drowned out the sound of his tv!!) and sending my Mum & Dad round while we were on holiday to dig up our garden at 10 O’clock at night. It turned out my Dad dug a bit of earth away from my damp course below my front window at

    4 O’clock in the afternoon…..he needs to get his watch repaired.

    Probably every day since then he’s been slamming his front door really hard every time he goes in or out. He slams it so hard ornaments rattle on our cabinet in our dining room!!

    A couple of years ago, the 15 year old lad across the road from us had a few mates round while his parents were away. They were having a couple of drinks and smoking in the garage, but were hardly making any noise. For some reason I looked out of the window and saw my neighbour running up and down the road with a camcorder filming the lads in the garage! I heard later that he actually threatened one of the 15 year olds.

    I’ve been working nights for the past 2 years, and up to recently, haven’t been disturbed too much with noise. They told us (she did anyway) that they were having an extension to their house, so I asked if they could inform us when they start so that I could make alternative sleeping arrangements. Without any warning, a JCB started digging up their garden making one hell of a din, followed by him smashing up concrete. They’ve since finished their extension so I’ve been sleeping back at home recently. Last week he came home lunch time and woke me up purposely, thumping on the wall of the bedroom. When I went round to inquire why he was having another wobbly, we were accused of making a lot of noise at night, and also of complaining to the Council of the state of the footpath outside their house, caused by concrete lorries etc. I didn’t complain but have spoken to my wife about it. This leads me to think if he’s got some sort of microphone rigged up against his adjoining wall. He also accused my Mum & Dad of sleeping round our house while we were on holiday again, and banging on the walls at night !! All in all, in the space of 5 minutes, he slandered us (and my parents) 4 times!

    We are also having some building work done to our house. The neighbour comes home for lunch every day and always glares menacingly at the builders.

    I haven’t a clue what they’re guilty of!!

    The neighbours have had problems at their last house and have had many a run-in with their neighbours. In the end they were forced to move to where they are now. I know the sister & brother-in-law of “her” next-door and have told me of his previous antics. Apparently, he had video cameras set up to film outside in the garden and road. The cameras were wired up to his television and used to sit in front of it all night watching people walking past his house and had a go at anyone he didn’t like the look of.

    We have been in contact with a solicitor who recommended that we make a diary of the intimidation. I have 4 full pages of A4 so far.

    He will have his comeuppance one day. Tomorrow won’t be soon enough.

    Sorry for waffling on, I just wanted to get it off my chest.

  • #2
    Hi Watto

    Welcome to the board. Wow, that's quite a story you've got of your NFH; it all sounds sadly familiar and he sounds like he is ultimately jealous of you and your family's home life. The fact that he feels he has to 'retaliate' every time after he thinks you've had a 'good time' says it all (e.g. when he bangs the wall after you've had relatives around etc).

    Your NFH sounds like a pathetic, petty person who likes to be in control, and likes to call the shots. He obviously doesn't like it when he's not the centre of attention and starts his retaliation in many guises - transferring the 'blame' for these retaliations onto you. Sorry to sound a bit of a 'psych' there, but this guy is just craving attention it seems.

    May I ask do you always 'enquire' as to the problem when he retaliates by banging, etc? You sound like you've gone out of your way to be a decent, polite, sensitive, friendly and human neighbour, it's a shame your NFH obviously has not! I would start personally by totally ignoring his childish outbursts and 'tantrums' at his imagined perceptions of your "noisy" behaviour - you're obviously (and haven't been) not being noisy or inconsiderate neighbours (quite the opposite in fact) and it will totally incense him if you cooly ignore him and don't give him the attention he craves. You will take some control back and detract positively from this bullyish behaviour of your NFH.

    Blank him totally in my opinion! Apologies if I'm interpreting your post incorrectly, but that's the impression I've got so far anyway of your neighbour.

    You say you've been in contact with a Solicitor - may I ask if you've had any contact with the Local Authority Env Health dept too? If so, what happened? Are you keeping logs that cover all 'disturbances' to you and your family? (e.g. not only the harassment, etc).

    Does your neighbour rent his house, etc? Just out of interest too, does he work?

    Anyway, please come back often, the board is very supportive and very helpful - I'm sure you'll get what you need.

    Stay well and resilient


    • #3
      Hi Watto, and welcome.

      Wow! Your NFH sounds as if he's got some sort of persecution/control complex! What a nightmare! I think he is prime candidate from some sort of pyschiatric treatment. Sorry for being judgemental but no normal person would hurl pallets at a two year old!

      You say he bangs on the wall so I'm assuming you have a party wall, where you informed officially of the building of the extension? Aquarius is having a bit of a problem (understatement) with her NFH and has had an opportunity to give her opinion of her NFH's plans.

      Has it entered his tiny brain that maybe someone other than yourself has complained about the damage to the footpath? I'm assuming it is a public footpath. Pity you can't find out who it was you might have an ally there.

      Anyway I hope your solicitor can help, but as Matthew said, don't forget about the Environment Health dept. They might be able to help monitor the noise levels.

      Let us know what happens, take care

      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


      • #4
        Hi Watto

        Like the others have said sounds like you are unfortunate enough to have a nutter living next door.

        Really just like to reinforce what the others have said.

        But take action TODAY!!. Stop putting up with this nonsense!! These people make our lives a misery.

        Suggest you get in touch with EHO and also get a decent solicitor involved!!

        Would you possibly have grounds for a harrasment order or altenatively, if you have done all these "terrible" things then lets see the proof!!!

        You know where I am going with this.

        Draw a line in the sand!!!!

        Here endeth the lesson!!

        The reverend


        "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"

        apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan

        Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!


        • #5
          Wow! Bring on the valium for this nut. As everybody else has said, the man wants to be in control and the centre of attention. Some help at the appropriate hospital might give him what he wants. Keeping a log is the best thing you can do, you seem to have a case here.


          • #6
            Thanks for all of your've all hit the nail on the head, especially Matthew:- "Jealousy". Everything I do, he seems to copy me, ie, I bought an old trailer for getting rid of garden rubbish........ two weeks later he had one; I had a small bonfire at the bottom of my garden one winter's night.........the following week he had one; I get a new car....a couple of weeks later he gets a newer car (he's having trouble keeping up with me on that front, I work at a motor manufacturer and get a new lease car every 6 months); I buy a power wash to clean my car, he follows suit.......and so it goes on. It seems to be more than a coincidence. I'll have to let slip that I've bought a 10 foot boa constrictor and hopefully he'll fly down the pet shop! Oh I wish.

            My wife suffers from arthritis and this idiot is making it worse. We are trying our hardest to ignore him and I think it's winding him up. He's spoiling for a fight but he won't get one....not from me anyway.

            I haven't contacted the Local Authority Enviromental Healy Dept yet, but I will soon.

            I heard from a friend down the road that 5 or 6 other people from around the area complained about the footpath outside his house but he didn't quote any names. The other residents are slowly starting to believe our situation.

            I forgot to mention his other harassment. Last year he started to park his works' van outside his house, near the corner of the road, so it is dangerous for vehicles turning into the road. After politely asking why he can't park it on his drive around the corner, I got a mouthful of abuse. He then started to park it further & further over the border between our two houses (semi's) so it was then parked in front of our house. I E-mailed his dept but got a negative response from his boss, but he's since kept it parked over in front of his house, so it done some sort of good. Of course then they accused me of harassment. It makes you laugh! I feel sorry for his wife, she's totally wrapped around his finger, probably bullied beyond belief.

            Anyway, sorry, I'm going on again, but it's reassuring that I've got support from the other side of the PC. Thanks


            • #7

              Sorry to hear about your situation. You do have a case there. A fully - fledged dingbat that's chosen not only the wrong planet to reside, but right next door.

              Glad to see lots of others have already given some sound advice. I can only reiterate what they've said.

              Some of what you said struck an eery cord. We not long ago moved out of a nightmare, with quarrelsome freaks next door. No win situation. The copying bit struck me. Why copy yet display such disdain in such a disgraceful manner?

              We were able to ignore the copying, having very full lives. Then the stenches, then the abuse, then the even worse... ... Respond to it, they get worse. Ignore it, they get worse.

              Some people are very sad and no way should they be able to make you unhappy too. But they can make aspects of your home life horrible. You may end up having to defend yourself quite vigorously.

              Concentrate on your family and loved ones, and the happy things in your life. Your nfh would just love to have a full-on entanglement with you, but it would hardly enhance the quality of your life.

              Thats the best advice I can give.

              Do keep posting and let us know how you get on, we are concerned for you. Good Luck!