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How to get help with the asinine

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  • How to get help with the asinine

    Hi all,

    Thank goodness I've found a site via "google' which may help me. I moved into my flat around April last year and during the last 6 months my upstairs neighbour is driving me insane.

    I've politely asked for the music to be turned down, the visitors to his flat not to kick the security door to get in and ring his intercom, not to bang on my wall as they go up the stairs and generally not disturb all the neighbours. Actually at one time or another we have all complained. He just laughs at us and carries on!

    The drink and the drugs are an enormous problem ..... I need help, please.

  • #2
    Hi Cass - welcome to the Forum, glad you found us ok

    Sorry to hear about your problem and it seems this guy upstairs has people coming and going at all times of the day and night and is totally preventing you from enjoying your own home.

    Can you give us an overview of what's happened so far? It's good you've talked to him and made him aware of what he's doing is affecting you, it may be an idea to write to him formally/semi-formally and advise him what problems are specifically happening that are affecting you and when (e.g. music, loud door slams, his visitors at unsociable hours) - and most importantly outline how these problems are affecting you.

    Be as specific as you can in the letter and keep a copy. To be honest, the letter is more for you, to prove (e.g. to the Local Authority) that you've approached your NFH with your concerns. Some Council's won't even start to investigate via the EH dept unless you can prove you've first approached your neighbour with the concerns first. e.g. "to give them an opportunity to rectify the problem(s)".

    Do you rent your property or is it your own (e.g. mortgage). If so, get in contact with your 'landlord' - maybe a Housing Association and get further help/info from them (also contact his landlord if you know who it is and complain, he may be breaking the terms of his tenancy - e.g. not making noise after 11pm may be stipulated).

    If you haven't started recording disturbances from upstairs, you need to start this ASAP. Keep diary logs of what's going on, when, be detailed and put down how it's affecting you. Use a cheap diary for this or generic sheets you can print and use from the main NFH website here. It's a laborious job granted, taking diary sheets, but you need to gather the evidence together.

    Get in touch ASAP with the Local Authority, Environmental Health dept today or ASAP. Do this via e-mail or by telephone. Some council's are pretty good (depending on where you live!) when responding via e-mail and you also get to keep a copy of your e-mail to prove you've contacted them. If you ring, get the person's name and jot down the details of your conversation and what was agreed.

    I know this is easy for me to say, and it can be a frightening situation to have to live with, but contact the police if you think illegal activity is going on upstairs. Call the Local Police and advise them of your concerns. Keep records of everything you do in connection with the upstairs NFH problem - they are your proof at the end of the day.

    Kicking the security door in at the main entrance would surely constitute criminal damage - and as such advise your landlord/Housing Assoc or the police that this has happened - insist they take relevant action.

    Above all, keep yourself safe. In this instance I wouldn't recommend approaching your neighbour in person again, certainly not alone anyway. You've obviously tried to do this and he shrugged you off, laughed at you, etc. A letter is safer and he may read some/all of it, you can get your point across too without being interrupted and without losing track of what you were saying. A basic 'template' initial letter to neighbours can be found by clicking here and this may help you to formulate your own letter.

    Maybe you and your other neighbours that have previously complained can get together and formulate a letter together or you may prefer to do this alone, certainly to start with. Hopefully you'll have some support from your other neighbours too, which is very useful.

    Come back often and let us know how you are and getting on - it's very stressful dealing with it all as well as living with it. On the forum we all understand that and I'm sure you'll get the support and help you need here

    Good Luck Cass.


    • #3
      hi Cass!

      welcome to the board,

      Sorry to hear that you have antisocial neighbours, we really do live in a " I'll do what I want when I want" society.

      it is really very sad when we have to put up with uncaring individuals in such close procicinity.

      As Matthew has said you need to record as much information as possible about the noise and approach your local authority.

      please stay in touch and come and vent as much as you want...we are all very good listeners!!


      • #4
        Hi Cass,

        Sounds like you are having a bad time with NFH, and I extend my sympathy. I think Matthew's advice more or less covers what you should do. Hopefully you might be able to sort things out, though your NFH sounds like a selfish, ignorant moron.

        Anyway, if you need a shoulder to cry on, we're here for you. Come back often and let us know how you're getting along.

        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


        • #5
          Hi Cass,

          welcome to the site.

          I think that Matthew really has given you some excellent advice on what to do in the first instance.

          Like he says though perhaps a bit more detail could help us help you, so to speak,

          You will find as much support as you need on this site, they are all fantastic people!!

          keep in touch


          "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"

          apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan

          Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!


          • #6
            Thank you for all your replies, you have all been most helpful. I have started keeping a diary and have contacted EH. I again tried to speak to my neighbour, all sweetness andlight while speaking with him, then half an hour later it starts all over again. The intimidation is unbelieveable.

            I have given my other neighbours diary sheets and they are all prepared to help out, thankfully.



            • #7
              Hi Cass

              welcome to the site.Ive only been on a week and found it very helpful.

              Its hard to understand how selfish some people are.

              I hope you get everything sorted soon.Keep your pecker up.There is light at the end of the tunnel.



              • #8
                I think it is great that you have got support with your "good" neighbours,

                it might encourage someone to take action.....

                ...the more people that complain etc.!!

                write everything down,

                noise/music/shouting/banging/kicking doors etc.

                you must remember to put times and dates aswell! it is easy to forget!!

                it is an idea to keep a pad of paper next to your bed for those night time noises, it will save you having to get up or trying to remember for the morning!!


                • #9
                  Hi Cass

                  Stick with it, you'll get there and with your neighbours help, that's even better news to deal positively and effectively with your NFH. NFH often have short memory spans, bit like goldfish in that respect, once or twice around the bowl, (or the block!) and they've forgotten what they "promised" you again

                  Good Luck!


                  • #10
                    The hard work has only just begun!!

                    You MUST stick with it, no matter how hard it gets!!

                    We are all here for you when the going get tough!!
                    "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"

                    apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan

                    Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!