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Had Enough!!!!!!

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  • Had Enough!!!!!!

    Hi I am new to this site, and reading the other stories that are posted is a great comfort to know that I'm not the only one that is at the end of their tether.

    My Neighbour used to be very quiet until last August, when the noise started, She had just come out of prison after being caught shoplifting once too many times, We now get music at any time of the day or night, hammering and shouting at any time of the day or night, Her and her boyfriend are in to drugs and there are always people knocking on the door all day and all night wanting their supply (the police know and do nothing).

    My son is 11 and is disabled he spends 20-22 hrs a day in his bedroom which is next to their house, and the lack of sleep is making him ill, We have now had to move his bed into my room just so that he can try and get some sleep, we have a small 3 bedroom housing association house but can now only use 2 for the 3 of us, as my daughter who is 15 needs her own space for her GCSE work, whilst nextdoor has a large 3 bedroom council house (end of terrace) all to her self, it just seems so unfair, (maybe its lack of sleep that makes me feel this way).

    I have been in touch with the council but still nothing is done. thanks for reading my story, it helps to get it off my chest

  • #2
    Hi pigginskint,

    Welcome to the NFH board, I'm glad to meet you, but I'm sorry to read about the problems you and your family are living with. You are putting up with an awful situation and it can be very draining, very stressful, very tiring and intrudes into everything. We do understand that here and I hope you gets lots of support through the NFH Forum.

    First off, can I ask you - what have you done so far - you say the noise, drugs, other occurrences have been happening since August 2002. Have you approached your neighbour and made them aware of what they are doing and most importantly, how this (noise etc) is affecting you (e.g. lack of sleep, disturbing your son/making him ill etc).

    If so, have you also gone to the Local Authority Environmental Health dept yet to ask for support/info, or maybe your Housing Assoc, etc (if you rent).

    Sorry about all the questions, just getting up to speed with your situation ad to be clear what's happened so far and what you've been able to do Hope you don't mind me asking them.

    Start recording everything if you haven't already. There are some blank recording (diary) sheets on the main NFH Resources Section that you'll hopefully find useful to print out and use if you haven't any others so far (e.g. from the local council EH dept). There's also a good "Hints and Tips" article there that may help.

    You don't have to live with this and you shouldn't have to live with this. It's your home and they are spoiling your right to enjoy your home, that's not on and it's never acceptable. Your NFH are affecting all your family's lives.

    I'm with you on the drugs problem - we (Beth and I) had two sets of NFH. NFH couple no. 1 (male half anyway) was dealing drugs from the house and people would come and go at all hours of the day/night. His music stereo would go up FULL blast everytime he was making a "deal" was very stressful to live with, as you'll know.

    May I ask too - you son has a disability - do you get any help/assistance or support via Social Services/a Social Worker? (e.g. home care, respite arrangements, support/outreach worker, etc, etc, for you/your son/family)? If it's making him ill too, then the SS have a duty to intervene and help provide effective care and services for you and your son/family.

    Look after yourself and come back often - take care


    • #3
      Apologies, you had said you'd been in touch with the council at the bottom of your post, I missed that, I think I need specs?!!

      What did they say/suggest? How has that been left?


      • #4
        Thanks for your quick reply Mathew.

        I have been round to talk with my neighbours, but she never answers, if I see her in the street she ignores me.

        Thanks for the advice about the social services, we do have a care worker who takes Simon out once a week for 2 hours, I will now ask him if he can help I never thought about help from them before.

        We have been filling in when everything happens, we have sheets of reports, I think I'm going to have to get tough with the EHO, so far they have been ignoring us and it has felt like we have been on our own over this, but thanks to your site (which I came across by pure chance) I have now got the fighting spirit back in me and come Monday I will be down at the council offices to sort this out. I will also go to the housing a**' even though they are council and we are housing a**' to see if they can help in any way.

        We love this house even though it is small and I am loath to move because of some arrogant neighbours, although at its worst I am tempted some times to just pack up and go. (but why should they win)

        Thanks for your help, Angela


        • #5
          Hi Angela Good for you, don't let bullying, selfish, in-human NFH dictate to you!

          The Local Authority have no choice but to investigate further, especially as you have obviously collected a lot of evidence/recording so far. Quite right, get tough with them, demand you are listened to and acted on behalf of. Keep cool, but keep assertive

          At some point down the line (probably pretty soon), the Local Authority, etc are going to ask you if you've contacted your neighbours and explained to them that what they are doing is disturbing you, etc. Why not write them a letter instead? I expect they sleep at odd times of the day too (e.g. in the daytime) so I bet they're even harder to catch in/awake!

          With a letter you can outline your concerns and thoughts without getting interrupted or losing track of what you want to say, etc. The main NFH website (click here) has a basic letter that may be of use to you to use as you want/for ideas.

          Come back to our Forum anytime, anyday, you'll always find someone about to help or listen


          • #6
            Hello, good evening and welcome fellow sufferer!

            Its sad to hear of another situation where good people have to suffer at the hands of selfish morons. I hope that your housing association will step in and sort out those idiots, they do not deserve to live in a house if they cannot behave sociably.

            Keep your chin up and do what you can, we are all behind you.....


            • #7
              Hi Angela,

              I'm really sorry to hear about your plight. It makes my blood boil when I hear about such selfish, ignorant morons who think of nobody but themselves. I think Matthew has just about covered everything you should do but don't forget, you have councillors and an MP who might be able to help you as well.

              As to the drugs problem, I recall a meeting I attended once and somebody stated that they had reported the fact that there was a drug pusher living in her road and she asked the attending PC why nothing was done. His answer was that they had to do observations and collect information to establish the facts to get a search warrant to enter the premises. So it's possible that your local force is doing just that. Let's hope that is the case.

              Anyway, keep us informed about what happens next Monday when you go to the council. We all feel for you and are here to give some moral support to you.

              Take care

              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


              • #8
                Hi all

                Thanks for your support, as you can see, its gone 4 in the morning, and guess what - I'm on here cos I'm not tired -NOT-.

                Just by being on here seems to take some of the stress away, I actually feel a bit calmer, although tonite its even noisier than it has been, - do you think they now that I'm talking about them,

                Why do they need to turn the music up full blast just so they can deal,

                do they think that we are really that thick that we haven't worked out what is happening. oooooh its gone quite, they must have finished, I think we will all try and go back to bed now, for a bit longer if we can, my kids Ellen and Simon think this site is great too, and they say hi to you all

                Nite Nite - we hope



                • #9
                  Hi Piggyskint (like the name)

                  Like the others we offer our sympathy and support to you at this time!!

                  I am glad that you now have the renewed strength to actually do something about your problem !!!

                  I think Matthew summed up what your initial steps should be ( he's a top bloke) ; ie make a diary, contact social services in relation to your son etc.

                  Just remember not to give up when they fob you off which they will!!!. If that person cant help you then ask them for the name of the person who can etc.

                  As I have said before when dealing with "officials" be "like a dog wi a burst ba'" ie do not let go!! ask for follow a follow up meeting etc.

                  Another avenue you could pursue is the fact that if your NFH is just out of prison then there must be some sort of contact with rehabilitaion or social services?? Surely her beahaviour must be in breach of any parole etc that will have been set upon her!( you indicated that she is a repeat offender)

                  keep us posted !!

                  Say hi to the kids


                  "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"

                  apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan

                  Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!


                  • #10
                    hi and welcome, piggyskint

                    i read your story, how awful for you and your son, keep complaning to your LA and police, eventually something will get done.

                    i know its hard to keep calm and sane, but things will get better for you.

                    best wishes and good luck



                    • #11
                      Originally posted by pigginskint@Jan 19 2003, 4:22 AM

                      Hi all

                      Thanks for your support, as you can see, its gone 4 in the morning, and guess what *- I'm on here cos I'm not tired -NOT-. *
                      Hi pigginskint,

                      Sorry to hear you had a bad night with your NFH, nothing worse that sitting up waiting and listening out (worse anytime, but during the night is the worst perhaps) for the next noise/'deal', etc.

                      I hope you all managed to get some sleep and Ellen/Simon too. Yes, NFH are incredibly stupid most of the time - by playing the music, that's giving you a 'cue' in itself (if you hadn't have noticed a possible deal in progress, which I'm sure you would have by the noise anyway!).

                      Hope you're managing ok and good luck tommorow (Monday) - come here often and vent

                      Maybe Ellen and Simon would like to come and post from their point of view about things (don't know how old they are, but they can even have their own NFH Forum Board accounts) - it would be nice to get their perspective too from a young person's point of view.


                      • #12
                        Hi again, Angela and Ellen and Simon

                        Glad to hear you are feeling a little better. It's amazing how this site can make you feel a lot less isolated and the support from other members is amazing. We're all pulling for you

                        Oh, and don't forget, if you have to let off steam you can go and rant in the rant folder It's amazing how theraputic a good rant can be You don't have to worry about any non members seeing what you say because the rant folder is a members only area, so you can let rip

                        Hope relief comes soon. Take care

                        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                        • #13
                          Listen, you just keep on to the Housing association, they have somebody who deals with your area, just keep at it. My stupid lot at the back when they first moved in thought it was okay for her teenagers to bring all the riff raff round and play their music in the garden full blast, no way was i going to take it on my day off, so it was going boom boom boom, and the noise, so i phoned the HA and said to the receptionist Can you hear this, she said she could and i told her that my double glazed patio doors were closed, they must have had other complaints too, so its my own house so i am moving, but the latest was i was just looking out of my bedroom window, and what did i see was again the riff raff neighbours kids and the other sub-humans doing drugs, but i am on the move so could not be bothered to complain but others did and i have never heard a pin drop from that house at the back, no sub-humans coming to play like sub-humans only know how with foul words and shouting etc no but i am on the move as i say rom a lovely house and a huge huge garden but it is not worth it. So you go girl, you keep fighting and iknow your HA will have to act, write to your local councillor,write to your MP, get writing to your local paper, dont give up the fight, i have only because i am getting on, i retire next year and hubby is 60 too, but if i had been younger i would have fought let me tell you. So when things go quiet and they are asleep, get the ghetto blaster on yourself, we will be here for you, so keep yed up lass, as we say here in Lancashire.


                          • #14
                            Hello Guys,

                            Welcome aboard! Sorry to hear about your nfh problems but remember we are all only a click and a prayer away and yes; being able to type your anger away at 4.00am can be a good therapy............(not as good as something I've just thought of though!!)

                            We are currently in a similar situation-neighbours in bed all day but up all night very busy doing things(?) I don't really understand why this has to involve the stereo being turned up suddenly either but I'm obviously missing something somewhere.

                            Keep in touch.



                            • #15
                              Hi Angela,

                              welcome to the board, I am so sorry to hear of your problems, these days they are all to common!

                              you and your family sound like fighters which is a good thing.

                              Matthew has given you some good advice for recording etc the problem.

                              have you thought about ringing crime stoppers regarding the drugs?

                              they have to treat it as confidential information.

                              You do need to contact Social services for Simon, does he have a social worker?

                              all local authorities operate respite care services for all people with disabilities, whatever their care needs are.

                              I work in a residential home for adults with learning disabilities and we also run a respite bed. Families can be allocated up to 6 weeks a year to give the service user and the family a break.

                              I think if Simon has a break it will lessen the stress for all of you especailly Simon.

                              I know how one problem can be increased when you are worry about other family members and how they are going to react to a situation.

                              He might really enjoy it too....

                              some of our clients can't wait to stay again!!

                              keep recording and keep strong,

                              love to you all!