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  • i dont know how much more i can take

    thanks again for all your help and advice in the past today i got accused of being a f****** grass!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont know if you remember but i had received an enforcement notice for an argos litter that wasnt mine, well so did nfh but she put 2 armchairs out apparently and was reported!!!! I dont know by who and i dont care,i contacted the police because of the threatening abusive behaviour again and i also contacted the enforecement officer who said he had received a complaint about these chairs being dumped,but he had the name and address of the person who complained and he knows for a fact it wasnt me!!!!!! i really have had enough all i want is a quiet life with my family and this keeps happening. I work as a staff nurse and unfortunately because of my job i am stuck. I would love to really hit her now but i know i would lose my job if i did,but i feel by walking away and trying to keep the peace they see me as a coward who is weak. but honestly its taking me all my will power to walk away because i would love to strangle someone at times

  • #2
    Hi Mandy.



    You NOT a coward just because you walk away. It goes to show that you are better than them.



    It takes greater courage and strength to turn your back on them.



    It is not worth hitting back at her. You have a good job and a damn hard one too.



    I can fully understand how it feels to want to hit back at them. :angry: :angry:

    I did once with mine, it made me feel much better but only for a short time because, as I have been told on here, I gave them a reaction. Don't give them the satisfaction.



    Good Luck



    Maria

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Mandy,



      Gosh you sound real fed up and I don't blame you one bit !! :sad:



      Please don't stoop to their level by clumping them - keep it all strictly fantasy or take it out on us! We can take it you know - we have very broad cyber-shoulders



      Just think of what you could stand to lose - you KNOW that they ain't worth it - so please, keep your head held high and don't give then a second thought - you know, they are just too thick to even know how to spell the word coward, let alone think up the word.



      Be strong!



      And don't forget that there's usually somone here for you to bounce off if you need it



      Mazza

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Mandy, and my sympathies with you enduring this abusive neighbour! :badmood:



        I know it is soooo tempting to retaliate, and it must be so frustrating for you, but DO NOT give her a reaction. The reaction will give her satisfaction (and why give her that?), but it will also give her ammunition against you which could lose you your job, result in criminal charges, and mean that you will lose your position of any power in this situation by being the one who could look like being in the wrong. Non-retaliation is not weakness....as you are feeling, it requires a lot of strength. She knows that, hence the taunts to provoke a reaction. Blank her, if possible.



        I wonder if the enforcement officer would confirm to her that you had nothing to do with the report?



        What did the police say about her abusive behaviour? Do log the incident for yourself; you might need it to show a pattern



        Please keep your cool, Mandy...this woman is just not worth the trouble she could heap upon you if you give her any chance to do so



        All the best,



        Sapph

        Comment


        • #5
          Mandy, well done for having the courage NOT to hit your NFH. Unfortunately it seems to be a genetic defect in NFH that they will blame anybody and everybody for their own shortcomings They are not worth a second of your attention.



          I wish I could say things will get better. They probably will but it might take time It's easy to say 'ignore them' but that's not always possible when they are in your face They are stuck in the schoolyard bully stage of development and have failed to grow up into real adults. They do not realise that by accusing you of being a grass they are in turn admitting they are in the wrong. Their tiny brains are totally incapable of grasping that concept.



          Good luck, keep logging and give yourself a pat on the back for not giving them the dubious satisfaction of eliciting a response to their pathetic accusations.



          Misty
          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

          Comment


          • #6
            don't retalitate mandy, just read my latest post in the ask for help forum to see what can happen even with verbal attacks >.<



            walk away!



            that is the advice the police have given me, and my neighbourhood warden also.



            hae u tried contacting your neighbourhood warden? ours really are excellent, and can be here in 30 mins when asked to do so, even if it is just for reassurance, and as they are in authority they have practical advice of what they can do, and will give u an anti social behaviour diary to keep. at least knowing that someone is on your side really helps



            and yup. sound off in here, i know i have.. there are plenty of soggy shoulders in here to go around!

            Comment


            • #7
              These guys have the right of it.



              After all they won't let me re-arrange my NFH. Take a deep breath. and sceam at us lot. (Im quite open to PM's along the lines of WAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHH if needed)



              Ogre
              'And if the elevator tries to break you down..... Go Crazy..'



              Prince

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Mandy,



                It's hardly surprising that you've had enough, and the entire situation is so frustrating :banghead:



                Really the best thing that you can do is rise above all of this. Nothing you say to this woman is going to make her change her opinion, and so you have to ignore her. Your job and family are so much more important than any retaliation that you could wreak on her.



                I hope that the situation with the fine has been sorted?



                Take care



                Blue Cow

                Comment


                • #9


                  hello knitwit.



                  it might be best to post your own thread so we can greet you without it being 'hidden' in mandy's post.



                  i just wanted to say, your words are extremely wise and ones we find ourselves saying to each other time and again.but it is very hard.



                  also :angry: :rant: :angry: :rant: :angry: about your NFH' s comments about your husbands illness. you must have shown great strength to ignore such provocation. i am not sure i could.



                  welome :thumbs:
                  http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif



                  I decree today that life

                  Is simply taking and not giving

                  England is mine - it owes me a living

                  But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

                  Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr




                  Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno



                  I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar



                  "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson



                  The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward



                  An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter



                  Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron



                  Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb



                  There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux



                  Carpe Diem



                  Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Mandy



                    As much as it isn't satisfying in the short term you will feel like the better person for not retaliating. I know Single Guy above us doesn't get up until a couple of hours after us and believe me the number of times we've just wanted to blast music underneath his bedroom at 6:30 in the morning can't be counted. It is ever so tempting but it feels better to know we won't be doing anything to make the situation worse and that we are *better and more considerate people*.



                    Keep telling yourself that. I know how hard it is, but they are not winning. The only proof such people ever have that they are winning is the effect they have, if they see no effect they aren't winning, no matter how much time you spend thinking about them and being persecuted by them.



                    My best friend had a situation where they were labelled "grassers" and the people who did this told other people on the street too, but they basically ignored it all and it eventually died down. They've had problems with those people in the past and have confronted it, but it really did feed them.



                    Your job is worth more than that. You are worth so much more than them. They are sc*m.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      but i feel by walking away and trying to keep the peace they see me as a coward who is weak



                      Wrong.



                      Dead wrong.



                      In fact its the exact opposite. I'm working on article which includes this issue at present which I hope will put everyone in the picture about how these people operate.
                      Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.



                      We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.




                      So what's the plan?



                      Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi Mandy, so sorry to hear about the trouble you're having.



                        Such good advice already, just wanted to offer my support and reiterate - do nothing!



                        Sounds to me like they'd love you to do something, so they could complain about you. As it is, they've not got a leg to stand on. Keep it like that Lass. I know it's difficult - thump a cushion and pretend it's NFH's head (giving away my secrets now



                        As HN's tagline says 'softly softly catchee monkey' - you need to keep as cool as possible to deal with these ****ers.



                        Good luck Mandy



                        Mrs B



                        Rockbank - your article sounds very useful. I've often been surprised how people's different NFH's seem to have loads in common. It's like they're all playing by the same (twisted) rules.



                        Mrs B
                        BE BOLSHY - RECLAIM YOUR GARDEN!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm nearly there with the article but I will need to run it by the moderators first.



                          And with Xmas looming I only have a few windows in which to write but I hope it will be ready before Xmas.
                          Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.



                          We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.




                          So what's the plan?



                          Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.

                          Comment

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