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  • NFH?


    I don't know whether I would class mine and my husband's neighbour as a neighbour from hell, it seems a bit strong and compared to some stories on this board I feel like a bit of a fraud.

    We moved into a ground floor flat (the building has 6 flats, all rented through the same agency) at the end of September and it's really nice apart from Single Guy upstairs. We're no strangers to living in a flat, we lived in apartments in America for four years so we know what it can be like having someone live above us, but we've never come across this before.

    During early October we asked him on three seperate occasions to turn his music down as we could hear it really loudly, and I mean we could hear the lyrics to the songs as clear as day, it was almost like it was coming from our own flat. The third time, on a Saturday evening, he told my husband it was Saturday evening, this was a liberal block of flats and everybody did it and didn't turn it down.

    It was only really bad on a weekend at least a couple of hours Friday and Saturday evening, too loud not to be heard above the television, as well as weekend afternoons. We started coping with it, moving out of our living room into the kitchen or bedroom where it wasn't as loud and putting something on to help drown out the noise and then pretending we still couldn't hear the beat of the bass. If it happened on a week night it usually never lasted for more than an hour and so we clock watched and coped.

    But I didn't cope. There was always that constant ear out if I heard him thud into the living room to that place where we knew the stereo was, and that tenseness, then relief if there was no music. If there was music I played how long can I cope, or tried to train my ears not to focus on it so much, of course it's almost impossible to do.

    We had to plan our weekends around when he generally started playing his music as we knew we wouldn't be able to enjoy a DVD, or even just chatting to each other because it would be starting up.

    Eventually, last Monday I rang the letting agency. It was such a relief, we weren't alone. They said they would send a letter out. I hoped all that week, even as I heard some banging and drilling and feared he was doing something up there that would further impact our quality of life. There didn't seem as much of it and I wondered if it was just hope. It was. Thursday night was the loudest ever. Friday night the same. After ringing the agency on Friday we were told they thought a letter had gone out, but the person that dealt with it wasn't there (are they ever?)

    On Friday night my husband knocked on the guy's door until he answered. When I heard them arguing I went up too. Single Guy's argument was still everyone does it, he has the people above him playing music til 2 and 3 in the morning and he puts up with it cos they're young and he doesn't understand how it can be so loud in our apartment when he only has it turned up a little bit on his stereo, with his new speakers he's been trying out and he's been here two years without anyone complaining. He seemed to compromise, saying that he would turn it down bit by bit and we could listen in our flat and he would never turn it above that. There was little appreciable difference for the four times we did it before giving up, but we could no longer hear the lyrics. He obviously didn't want to turn it down and so here we are. I'm hoping it only stays at this. I say hoping because the guy looked like he'd had a few and we have to trust his memory. We were out on Saturday so I don't know what it was like then.

    He's right though, others do play their music loud, but we can't hear them in our flat. I don't want even to put up with this much, but I guess we'll have to and should be grateful it will hopefully only be this loud and not go any louder again. I feel like we're the ones causing trouble with him being here for years and us only for three months.

    It's obviously not for us living here, but that's where the problem starts. Our baby is due right when the lease is up, affordable rental housing here is tough and scarce and we need "spare" money for the baby not another bond and first months rent. But also we can hear Single Guy really clearly in the bedrooms, we moved into the small one because his phone calls at 1am would wake us up as well as his forever thudding feet, even in this room we have a fan switched on full blast turned away from us to create some white noise so we're not disturbed as much. So if the baby cries will he be able to hear it lots and complain about us? No-one else has children here, will we be in the wrong? Or will the response I would dread most be to have his music loud to cover it? It's not like I plan to let a baby cry and cry, but I know they do cry.

    Sorry this is so long. It's just partly a relief to let it out, especially after pretending it wasn't happening as a way of coping with it.

    Thank you for listening.

  • #2
    welcome to the forum board Antiquity

    but sorry you are here as it means you have problems,

    noise is a dreadful thing to have live with, especailly noise you have no control over.

    if the guy is not paying any attention to your requests then yes you need to get back to the letting people, but give it a couple of days for him to recieve the letter....dont know about your postal service but ours is rubbish!! :lol:

    in the mean time please....ignore ignore ignore!!

    please ask your husband to stay away from single guy, it seems that you have asked him many times to turn it down and he hasn't, by asking him again....I really dont see its going to work, so steer clear, dont let him think he is getting to you

    NFH play mind games, SG might think its great fun for him to turn it up and then waits for you to come knocking at his door....I know its a total downer that he is currantly in control of your lives, but you can be strong :flowers:

    pleae come back to let us know how you are, we are great listeners and we all know what is like to be on the receiving end of NFH, so you are no longer alone

    take care


    • #3
      Hi Antiquity and welcome

      Sorry to hear that your neighbour is proving such a pain for you at the moment . I hope that the letting agent do get a positive result with their letter.

      It sounds like your neighbour is going some way to try and be a bit co-operative, but it's obviously not far enough for you Just out of interest, have you heard how loud his music sounds in his flat?

      My concern is that once your baby is born, you are going to be so much more sensitive to outside noise disturbing him/her, and a neighbour regularly playing a loud stereo every weekend is going to push your patience to its limit

      If your letting agent is unable to sort the problem out to a satisfactory result, it may be worth discussing your options with them to see if they have any other properties that would prove suitable for your family. They may be able to come to some arrangement on your behalf (it's got to be worth the question??).

      Please let us know how you get on

      Blue Cow


      • #4
        Hi Antiquity and welcome to the forum

        I've learned in the year I've been part of this forum that many NFH just don't give a damn about the annoyance they cause. His pathetic excuse, that others do it, just doesn't wash!

        I think you should get back onto the letting agent. The nuisance is obviously taking its toll on your nerves I can't help but feel that when your baby is born he/she will pick up on your mood when NFH is being obnoxious which won't be good for you or the baby

        Do you know if any of the other neighbours have a problem with NFH's noise? It might help your case if you had an ally. You could also have a look in the resource section of this site:

        Good luck

        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


        • #5
          It's really great knowing you all are out there. Thank you for your advice

          Mistyeyeddreamer: I don't think anyone else does have a problem. He says the people above him have parties and he doesn't mind and I know from experience that it can't be heard across the hallway as the people opposite us play their music loud which can be heard in the hall but never in our flat.

          Blue Cow: When we spoke to him we could hear how loud his music was in his flat, and also it can be heard throughout the hallways and stairs. The problem is he plays the music in his living room at the front and then goes to his bedroom/office at the rear and has it loud enough to hear it. We hear far too much of his life *sigh* I think we are going to go the route of seeing if they have another property, or just find somewhere else. We think we can borrow some money off people to help and although it would leave us with less money after bills than we would like there's just no way we can live like this.

          sweetpea: Unfortunately we don't qualify for council housing. Hubs is American and we only moved here just over a year ago and so are disqualified by the living out of the country for more than 3 months in the last five years thing. There also isn't that much council housing here anyway.


          Well so far we've had music at a level to be heard above the television, but not as loud as before on Monday from 9pm to 10pm+. We go into the bedroom and turn the fan on the "tornado" setting so I don't know how long it continued. Last night it was 8:45pm til midnight. Plus an hour or half hour here and there throughout the day and unfortunately I don't have a job so escape from it. I do go out for walks, but I can't keep going out at the frequency it's becoming. I don't know if it was the talk we had with him that did it or just that he was planning it anyway after getting his new speakers. We're going to talk to the agency again this week, then after Christmas start looking for somewhere new and hopefully move before the baby is born. I had really hoped we could settle here for a while.

          Sometimes at night I fantasise that he gets stricken with some kind of disorder that means he becomes really really sensitive to sound and loud noises hurt his ears. I *so* wish it could happen.


          • #6
            Hello there, welcome to the forum and congratulations on the impending birth of your baby

            Your post reminds me of the situation we are in, although we live in a terraced house. Our NFH have also been known to play loud music and have done since they moved in when our daughter was 7 months old. Our life (not to mention my daughter's sleeping routine) has been turned upside down...

            I can only agree with all the advice the other lovely members have given you.

            Having a noisy neighbour affects all areas of your life and we too try to make arrangements to go out on saturday nights as we know that chilling out with a film and a bottle of wine just isn't possible thanks to the idiots that live next door. Having a NFH has made me so sensitive to noise that I thought I would go round the twist.

            I'm sorry to say this, but I think the stress you feel now will only increase once your little bundle arrives, and my advice would be, if at all possible, to find somewhere else to live.

            We have recently sold our house to a couple who are just 18 - I can only hope that they will be just as noisy, if not worse than our NFH. The relief I feel at knowing we will soon be gone is amazing. I know it's not always possible financially or otherwise to move, but it was the best solution to our problems, and the only way I think I can stay sane.

            As someone else said, your fantasies of your NFH being struck with a *painful ear disease* are extremely tame :ban: compared to mine!

            Please take care of yourself and your bump - you're not alone.


            Eeeejay x :ban: :nfh1:


            • #7
              Hi Antiquity and Welcome (bit belated )

              I think noise intrusion is dreadful, I do feel for you. :sad:

              My first thought was like sweetpea's - get yourself on the Council Housing list.

              Have you definitely checked this out ? It's the first I have heard of such restrictions - are you sure you are not getting a bit mixed up with benefits? Council Housing is a different matter.

              Please also contact local housing associations - they have different criteria quite often and can take people onto their waiting lists that might not be accepted onto the Council's waiting lists.

              I know such housing is scarce, but it is worth covering your bases. If your situation is getting you down, don't hesitate to get a supporting letter from your GP - or fill in a medical form with the Housing Application as it can add weight to your application.

              Best of luck, hope you can get a move soon. :clover:




              • #8
                im so sorry about your situation. loud music is bad enough but people dont seem to understand that the boom boom boom of the bass is really bad. my nfh had really heavy rap music playing a lot and when you mentioned "the relief of no music" i know that gives me a migraine which makes me vomit and with a 5 yr old and a demanding job i feel resentful that i pay taxes to keep these people...............please take care you will get excellant advice from here and good luck with your baby xx:newyear:


                • #9

                  I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this, I can sympathise!

                  To quote you:

                  But I didn't cope. There was always that constant ear out if I heard him thud into the living room to that place where we knew the stereo was, and that tenseness, then relief if there was no music. If there was music I played how long can I cope, or tried to train my ears not to focus on it so much, of course it's almost impossible to do


                  This is exactly how I feel, the tension and stress. But you're right it's dificult to ignore unwanted noise! However hard you try! I stay up late now, to tense to sleep sometimes.

                  I really just want to add my support, it must be incredibly tough for you, you can't exactly get up and leave with your baby on the way. I do think agree with the many posts above, also think your council have a duty to help you.

                  I hope that things get better for you and that you have a relatively peaceful xmas!

                  Take care!



                  • #10
                    Hi Antiquity,

                    I read these forums and so many express the experiences I have suffered with over the years. The patterns of NFH and their unwillingness to understand what it's like on the other side of the wall and total lack of caring is so frustrating.

                    I feel empathy for everyone on this forum that deals with this on a daily basis. There is such great support and advice on here Antiquity. If only authorities would begin to change the way they view this increasing problem of excessive noise and how it affects people that can't escape it.

                    Even though each time I've hated to do it..I've moved. I wish there were other less costly solutions, but my sanity and keeping my health have been worth more than the cost of another move.

                    Glad you found this forum too.



                    • #11
                      So we think we have Single Guy sorted. Music still comes from there but it's muffled somehow. So he eventually caved in. Yay us!

                      Now can you believe this?

                      It was the day after Boxing Day, back when we didn't have Single Guy sorted, he'd played stuff on Boxing Day and my dad went up, bless him, he's involved with the council and stuff where my parents live and really really believes it's as easy as having a law in place to having something done about it. Which it more or less is for him, he gets fast response times from the police when the kids on the street start chucking bricks at the house, not bad for the council estate he lives on. Wonder if that was the final straw for Single Guy, I think he likes the easy life.

                      Anyway, back to the story. So there's this pounding dance music, not stuff we'd usually associate with Single Guy, but hey, maybe he got it for Christmas. We dutifully note it down, but three hours later I can't stand it anymore and so hubs goes upstairs to see him. He comes back with a really puzzled look on his face and asks me to come out to check what he's hearing. I confirm it, the music is coming from the flat *above* Single Guy! :blink: This is where Blonde Girl and Bloke live, or at least I think Bloke lives there, he didn't when we moved in, but I think he's been moved in now. These are the people Single Guy says have parties till the early morning and he doesn't mind because they're young! If he puts up with this Single Guy is an idiot. Well, they can't even hear knocking at the door so hubs uses the intercom at the front door to tell them to turn it down. They do for five minutes, it then goes back up, but 20 minutes later they leave.

                      Have heard pounding dance music on and off since then, suspect Bloke is the problem as didn't hear it before then. Unless Single Guy used to play his music loud just to combat what was coming from above him. And now, now it's 3:50am :cry: and it's been back for an hour. *REALLY* loud. I'm still gobsmacked we can hear it even with a flat in between! Not comfortable going up to top floor as it sounds like a party and the reason I'm awake anyway is because about an hour ago there was massive arguing on the stairwell, loud enough I could hear it even though we sleep one room beyond the stairwell and have the fan on the noisiest setting. Of course hubs can sleep through loads of things and almost anywhere so he's in there sleeping like a baby right now. I envy him!

                      Starting to document this just in case, but will feel like we're the problem if we have to report this to letting agency as well. In reality, we can't afford to move before the baby is born (only 8 weeks to go!) and I just don't have the energy to look for anywhere else and cope with a move. So we are saving up to move in July or August, probably August.

                      Thanks for listening.


                      • #12
                        Hubs eventually woke up because I wasn't in bed, noticed the music and said something to them. Pointless. He did it again later. Pointless. It finally stopped at 7:30am.



                        • #13
                          Hi Antiquity,

                          Sorry to hear about the latest NFH Maybe you're right, maybe Single Guy's music was so loud is because he was drowning out upstairs Did you think about calling the police to the top floor?

                          At least Single Guy turned it down a little but if top floor carry on I can see SG upping the volume again Not nice at all.

                          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                          • #14

                            Gosh, that's the pits, I'd be raging if I had all that going on .

                            How inconsiderate - it must be obvious to them that you are about to have a baby??

                            I would call the police in future, get them out to prevent a breach of the peace. You know, you might just 'snap' with all those hormones...

                            Also keep a record of all this racket and report it to the lettings agents - they have to do something for you. I'd also consider reporting it to environmental health - they may actually come out when the noise is going on.

                            I guess the only silver lining here is that at least you plan to escape from it - and those months will pass by quicker than you think, so it's not long now

                            Take care and let us know about your new arrival when it happens :flowers:



                            • #15
                              I am sorry to hear about all the grief b4 and over christmas !

                              I know from personal experience what stress and pain these inconsiderate people are like ! If people are having parties then it is just the done thing to give neighbours the info. :angry:

                              sounds like single bloke was trying to drain out the noise above with his music...

                              might be worth collaborating and getting him to do noise records and send onto the letting agents?

                              Keep up the records as the letting agents should have areas within the tenacy agreement for noise / disturbances...

                              :ban: Matt