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  • desperate

    hi all, a long story cut short



    one of my sons friends has fallen out with him and has gone around his school saying that i am a paedophile. now everybody believes her and is teasing him every day.



    my wife and i went to see her parents who are in the same street as us and they didnt seem to care!



    its very distressing to my son who is 11 and also my family.



    i seem to have been labled this and am inocent.



    i have been in contact with his school and they are "looking into it"



    i cant seem to find anyone with any ideas on how to stop this.



    help please, desperate.

  • #2
    11 year old children fall out all the time.



    The police will tell you that the term "paedophile" is just the latest insult being used by the pig ignorant. Often by adults who should know better.



    However this child needs to learn that to use such insults is neither appropriate nor acceptable.



    If you're still able to speak to this other boy's parents, then speak to them again, pointing out that you accept that kids often fall out but to use the term "paedophile" is not acceptable. You should then suggest another meeting with the headteacher at the school, pointing out that your intention isn't to get anyone in trouble, more to allow the school to address everyone that the use of such terms is not only unacceptable but can lead to serious criminal charges against those throwing these accusations around.



    Do this anyway, even if the other boys parents refuse.



    I did a similar approach when I saw some boys, who I knew, at the local school jumping onto moving train carriages on the way to school. I didn't mention their names but just phoned the school who said they'd speak to everyone in assembly. The boys would have known who they were though.



    It never happened again.
    Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.



    We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.




    So what's the plan?



    Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.

    Comment


    • #3
      OMG! Such a seriously degrading and horrible label to give to an innocent person! Kids really don't think about the consequences of their actions. Hopefully the adults who hear the kids taunting understand it is not a serious charge, just some kids being nasty. I am so sorry to hear that these kids are carrying on like they are. It is terrible, and I definitely agree that you should talk to the parents again, explain your concerns -- they are VALID concerns! Then talk to the school and tell them to take a handle on this or somebody innocent could get slandered and then there would be other legal actions that would come against people, mayhaps even the school. That should get their attention. Good luck, and again, sorry to hear about this horrible situation.



      N

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Paul and welcome



        The paedophile label certainly is the latest ridiculous insult that is banded about by people who really don't know any better. (I've even heard kids on trains using this name to complete strangers - and I'm sorry if it's controversial, but I entirely blame the Sun and their campaign from a few years back). The school needs to address this, and now!



        At the risk of repeating other members on this site, please insist on a meeting with the head-teacher and explain that this needs to be addressed directly. An assembly on the consequences of what damage this type of labelling causes is a very good suggestion, and I hope that the head teacher takes your complaint extremely seriously.



        If you are not getting any joy with the school, then you are able to escalate this further, but try the head-teacher first, as I am sure that they will treat your problem with the seriousness and urgency that it warrants.



        I really hope that this gets sorted out for you soon



        Take care and let us know how things go,



        Blue Cow

        Comment


        • #5
          thanks for all the advice, my lad came home from school upset again.

          kids saying your dads a "kiddie fiddler"



          he asked the girl why she is saying this and she replied "cause i hate you"



          mud sticks and theres no smoke without fire



          i am so upset about this i have not eaten for 2 days.



          i have the school head ringing me tomorrow, i hope he can sort the matter once and for all.



          i have 2 children, i love them to bits. at the moment i feel that bad and low i dont know what to do.



          tomorrow cant come soon enough.



          thanks guys

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Paulh



            Welcome to th Forum .



            I agree with the others - it's the latest derogatory term being bandied about by the pig ignorant. I hope you can take Rockbank's advice and see if you can put a stop to this pointless nonsense :sad: .



            They are basically bullying your son - they don't seriously believe it, they know it gets to him and you and so they continue. Most of them probably don't even know what it means, and if you asked them to spell it.... :blink:



            Your son's school is obliged to take this matter seriously and act within it's obligatory anti-bullying policy, so please get back to them asap.



            There's a very useful website called Bully Online which is definitley worth a look too.



            Let us know how you get on.



            Mazza

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi Paul,



              I'm glad to hear that the Head is calling you tomorrow, when he calls, please try and arrange an urgent meeting with him to show to him what a terrible effect this is having on you and your family.



              I'm so sorry that you are feeling so low over this (it's no wonder). It's such an awful thing to call someone maliciously that you are at a loss of how to deal with it. Sorry, but the feelings that you have are not going to subside until you speak with the Head and get some positive action over this.



              He may suggest that the girl should apologise (I mean, come on - she's eleven, which is old enough to be over this type of childish behaviour), or even suggest a news-letter reminder to all parents that under no circumstances should they condone their children making such disgusting and unsubstantiated claims. If anyone does have any genuine allegations, then the police should be contacted, and it should be dealt with within proper and legal process. The playground is not an acceptable place for this type of behaviour.



              Really good luck, and please remember that most rational adults would not give any credence to this type of playground gossip. I hope that you have a positive result tomorrow. Please do let us know how it goes



              Blue Cow

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Paul, and welcome to the forum



                I am terribly sorry to hear that your child is being bullied in this way, and that, of course, you feel victimised by this slur. It's despicable, and the school should deal with this slander in no uncertain terms, as should the parents. Good luck with the Head tomorrow. I would personally want a serious word with this boy's parents, as they should make it clear to their child that falling out or not, this is absolutely unacceptable.



                This really does seem to be the latest in bullying/insulting behaviour, by children, and often adults of a certain mentality too.....I'm at a loss to understand how some people can be so sick....again, typical bully behaviour .



                Good luck in getting this dealt with, and do let us know how you go on. I hope your son is OK too, and that the school give him plenty of support with this, as well as dealing with the bullying behaviour.



                Regards,



                Sapph

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi Paul, the school is really the place who need to sort it out. They not only need to say how harmful it can be to the innocent but to point out that the abuse of these accusations often leads to true offenders getting away with it because eventually no one takes notice of children who hurl these accusations for no reason.



                  Perhaps if the girl realises that should something genuine ever happen, God forbid, to her or her friends she may just not be believed when it counts.



                  I feel dreadful for you and there are plenty here who have suffered from false accusations, trouble is certain people revel in it, forgetting to plug their cognative thinking circuit in. :angry:



                  It may turn out to be a good opportunity to contact other schools in your area to try and enlighten the ignorant, and protect the innocent.



                  However just getting throught this night peacefully would be a blessing for you I'm sure. Wish I could be of more help.



                  Good luck Paul.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Raise it with the govenors. Or maybe just let it fade way...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hello Paulh,



                      I'm so sorry you are down, my heart's with you and your family. I hope that everything goes well tomorrow for you, and that the issue is finally settled. I hope you feel on the up and up come tomorrow evening.



                      N

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi Paul,



                        This is a horrid situation for you to be going through. Some children can be just plain spiteful.



                        I support what the others say, School Head, School Govenors, parents and police. What about the getting in touch with the Area Education Office if you get no joy from the head?



                        Having said that I hope that you can get some satisfaction tomorrow from your phone call.



                        Maria

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          These sorts of rumours can kill people (recent cases of accused committing suicide)



                          A guy in our village got done for having naked pictures of teenagers on his computer. He got a real load of sh*t from the papers and people in the village. The rumour mill really did a number on him, lots of accusations surfaced about him looking at kids funny etc etc. Turns out he'd come across them while looking at adult material, he'd never done anything to his kids or anyone else and the rumours were completely unfounded. He was still convicted though as he had 50 pics on the computer (which had to be recovered by specialist means apparently),lost his entire life (wife left with kids, lost job, moved out) and tried to top himself in prison.



                          Everyone thinks there is no smoke without fire - these rumours about you need to be quashed, quickly, otherwise persistance will grant them credance and you will be getting a knock on the door by the SS or Police after someone complains about you looking at their kids 'funny'.



                          FF
                          Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"



                          Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"



                          Howard:"I know...of you"



                          Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

                          Lovely lady with the eye

                          Lovely lady with the eye

                          You've only got one but it's a good one

                          Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

                          coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

                          Yeah! I'm in a band..."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Paul, good luck with the school. You must, I think, be forceful and make them understand how damaging these accusation are. The girl must be made to face the consequences of her bahaviour.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              the school have just been on and told me that there are 4 girls involved, they have admitted that they started these rumours and that they are lies.



                              too little too late, the 4 of them all broke down in tears when they were told how serious this was. what i did not realise was one of them lives 2 doors away! the other just over the road.



                              we will see.



                              cheers all :cry:

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