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  • Can somebody Help

    Can somebody offer me some helpful hints.

    At the beginning of the year, we moved into a top floor maisonette, introduced to the chap downstairs so as to get off on the right foot etc etc.

    I work long hours but try to keep any DIY/gardening to weekends or before 6 p.m, dont play loud music, tip toe around etc etc.

    I would add that the guy downstairs is director of the management company (little hitler, we all know the type). Wont go into detail but he intimidated and bullies us all the time.

    I cant do work in the garden without him coming around complaining, I cant do work in the house without him complaining, if he doesnt complain he spies on what we are doing from his garden outside.

    Last night I had a bonfire, (in the evening, after dark). He came out accusing me of smothering his maisonette in smoke, that I had better watch who I was dealing with and to read my lease. My lease simply says not to create a nuisance. As I have a bonfire maybe every 6 months for garden refuse its hardly a nuisance.

    Can anybody help me with some suggestions, dont want to get an injunction but feel prisoner in own home

    Joe h.

  • #2
    Hi Joe and welcome to the forum

    Some NFH just don't get it do they? Why can they not accept that there are going to be times when you need to do some DIY or keep the garden tidy? I'm darn sure they'd be quick enough to complain if you let the garden turn to jungle!

    Having said that, there does seem to be some uncertainty about the legality of burning garden refuse. Would it be possible for you to bag it up and take it to a tip or get your local council to pick it up?

    As to the other complaints from NFH, have you pointed out to him that you are being perfectly reasonable about the times carry out DIY? It's grossly unfair of him to expect NO noise at all. We all make some noise during our daily lives and as long as it is not excessive or prolonged it should be accepted as one of the drawbacks of living in such close proximity to each other.

    From what you have told us it would seem you are being a responsible neighbour. The smoke from your fire might be construed as a nuisance but so is the constant harassment from your NFH so perhaps he too should read his lease.

    I'm sure other members will have a lot more to say so I'll finish here. Good luck

    "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


    • #3

      I've moved this to "What's Your Story".

      Other members will be along soon to offer advice. Just sounds like he's a nosey busybody with nothing else to do. Pehaps a bit paranoid too. A common NFH trait.

      Sounds like you're still on speaking terms though, so try and remain civil for the time being and he might see that you're not out to cause him any bother.
      Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.

      We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.

      So what's the plan?

      Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.


      • #4
        Hi Joe and welcome to NFHiB

        Sorry to hear about the problems you're currently having . Sounds like your downstairs bullying NFH has far too much time on his hands.

        Have you spoken to this man recently and explained that you are a considerate neighbour?

        Can I point you in the direction of the NFHiB Self-Help Articles here! You should find a great deal of useful information there.

        If you don't feel able to discuss matters with him, then I would be tempted to put something in writing to him (make sure you keep a copy ).

        You could also consider involving mediation services and offer that as an option to your neighbour if he's not willing to see your viewpoint on these issues.

        It is your home and reasonable domestic noise is acceptable. From your post, it seems like you are being more than considerate of his feelings. He sounds like a typical NFH, wanting everything his own way, thinks the world revolves around him, doesn't have to think of anyone but himself... :rant:

        Good luck with him, please come back often to check members replies.

        Holly :ban:


        • #5

          hi there.

          sounds like the bloke downstairs swallowed the leasehold manual....

          seeing as he is such a fussy old goat, have you thought about warning him when you intend to do things such as burn garden refuse? is there any reason why you did this at nighttime? i can kind of see his point about that, and it might be better in future if you took the refuse to the tip for recycling....that way he cant make a fuss can he, and then you wouldnt be stoking his fires (pardon the pun! )also how much DIY are you doing and how often? if you are doing this everyday as part of an ongoing project you could maybe let him know how long it is all going to take.??

          sometimes with NFH you have to be cleverer than they are, so if you try to preempt his complaints by telling what you intend to do, it will take the wind out if his sails a bit?????

          welcome to the forum!

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          • #6
            Hi Joe and welcome

            Well I would hardly say that you are causing a nuisance. As a neighbour, he should show respect and consideration to you in the same way you do to him. It sounds like he's trying to bully you (and yes, we all do know the type!).

            If the bonfires are causing him particular grief, then you may want to have a rethink about them. If you have any more, they are only going to cause more complaints. I would definitely try to keep on speaking terms with him if you can.

            My ex NFH used to spy on us, and believe me, I know how trapped and vunerable it can make you feel. Are you saying that he looks linto your garden from his? or into your house? Either way, there are things that you can do, like install security lights (if he's out there after dark), improve fences, and get good curtains (I used to have really good venetian blinds as you can angle them to block people from being able to see in).

            Do come back and let us know how you are getting on

            Blue Cow


            • #7
              Hi Joe

              Welcome to the Forum

              I hope you have found the members replies useful already!

              I can't add much more other than try to be one step ahead as Annabel says.

              If you had perhaps warned him about the bonfire, he might not have reacted as badly.

              Also, you need to check your local bye-laws even allow these things - it's actually illegal in some areas to burn stuff - full stop. If your NFH got wind of this, he may try to be even more nasty to you, so check it out with the Council before your next one (unless you can avoid bonfires at all) .

              I would say that day-to-day noise must be tolerated, if your NFH does not like it, he must be living in an unsuitable type of tenure and he should consider moving somewhere else - after all, even a monk upstairs will make noise so your NFH will always have something to moan about.

              Don't take it personally - it sounds as though he'd be intolerant of anyone up there!

              Best of luck



              • #8
                Hi Joe, and welcome to NFHiB

                Well, we've got one here, haven't we.....little man working for a management company, therefore has a divine right to bully everyone else to living by his rule-book!

                Don't give him anyexcuse. As others have said, it probably is just less bother to go to the tip with garden refuse, lest he starts quoting the Environmental Protection Act 1990


                (which you can now also quote )

                IMO, a bonfire once or twice a year, giving close neighbours warning is not crime of the century, but I think this guy will relish any ammo at all.

                As Holly suggests, I would be highly tempted to try some mediation(free), whereby you both get chance to air any problems, and hopefully, come to a reasonable compromise about what is acceptable neighbour behaviour(in your eyes of course, as well as his!!). This does also give you a chance to let him know the particular lengths you do go to ensure that he is being shown consideration as a neighbour.....perhaps he may then be shamed into affording you some of the same respect back

                Do let us know how you go with this.



                P.S. Do log all instances of his bullying/harassing behaviour, as it would be very useful during mediation!


                • #9
                  Hi Joe.

                  Some people just cannot let others get on with their own lives as they have very little if not anything in their own life. Its horrid when you feel you are a prisoner in your own home but dont let this person intimidate you try to carry on as normal as possible.

                  I only found this site a few weeks ago and the advise and support I have received has been invaluable.

                  I hope things can be resolved for you reasonably quickly.

                  Good Luck



                  • #10

                    Can only echo what others have said. Whatever you do will be wrong for nfh, or so it seems, so best to pre-warn him.

                    I wish you luck with this.

                    "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"


                    • #11
                      Hi, Joe.

                      Is he a Director or just a director? I mean, is he very important? Or only slightly important? Or not very improtant at all?

                      It might, if he doesn't stop his nonsense, be worth looking at the possibility of finding out how official his complaints are?

                      His superiors (the real directors! ) might be interested to discover that an employee is harrassing tenants.