Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

here we go again

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • here we go again

    Well just two weeks after mediation ended (without resolution), nfh is back to his usual behaviour. He started shouting/swearing in and out of the house on Saturday night about 6.30pm. Around 10pm he was being very abusive to his mother and I phoned the police on the premise that I was worried about her. Boy did they show up fast! Very impressed. Two cars and a van. But all they did was ask if he was going to bed, and he agreed. Mouthed off a bit after they'd gone, but was quiet. Then last night we had thumping (how did they get that herd of elephants in there???) from 10.30 - 11.00 pm, and then loud tv/music from 11.30 - 12.00. Then mumsie came home and all was quiet, but I was too upset to sleep then.



    Very stressed. Phoned mumsie today - oh dear, she doesn't know what to do - blooming well kick him out! Was desparate to say it, but need her onside for now.



    So phoned the council complaints boss. Was a tad snippy to the girl who answered the phone (sorry, stressed to high wotsit). But he was quite interesting, and was going to get a print out of all callouts to nfh's address. So he seems to be taking it seriously. He also felt the police weren't doing enough (and he's an ex copper!)



    More worrying was that he pointed out that as we were not council tenants he perhaps could not agree that the council would go for an asbo on our behalf. Apparently they are having some sort of meeting with legal bods to discuss this. This is worrying as it kind of implies that they won't do asbos for private householders against another private householder. So where does that leave some of us! How can they have one law for one group of people, and another law for another group. Isn't this marginalising society even more? He said they were getting more and more private householders using the council service. Well perhaps the council should review its service then. I'd be interested to know if anyone else has managed to use council neighbourhood complaints procedures for private householders. If they are going to turn private householders down, then what remedy does that leave us? We pay our council tax after all. Personally I'd be willing to contribute to have their expertise and experience in these matters.



    Any comments?

  • #2
    Aw flossie, sorry to hear about that .



    It's awful isn't it when you think that you may have got somewhere and then it just starts up again . It makes me really :angry: that all our nfh just can't see or appreciate the effects their behaviour has on other people. Some people are just so inconsiderate - it really doesn't take much to show some consideration for your neighbours, and his mum should really do something about it.



    Regarding the ASB stuff,have you checked on your local authority's website to see if they have a dedicated ASB Team/ Strategy Unit? Our LA has one and they have made it quite clear that they are there for every resident in the authority regardless of their tenure.



    If you don't get any luck finding it out or searching for the answers yourself, then I would suggest that you contact your local Councillor and have a chat to them about what the LA can do regarding ASB issues.



    Take care of yourself,



    Holly

    Comment


    • #3
      Yes, it was a LA guy I spoke to - the head of their complaints unit. But he was the one saying they were having to discuss the problems in dealing with asbos for private householders - yet the law is quite clear that only councils+police can apply - yet it seems our council at any rate is reviewing how it considers complaints from private householders.



      LA guy is getting a print out from the police today of all complaints/visits to my nfh - so we'll see if that gets us a bit further.



      All quiet last night though - a decent night's sleep! Bliss.

      Comment


      • #4
        Pleased to hear you managed to get some :zzz: :zzz: :zzz: 's in .



        Keep on at this chap you've talked to. You never know, if they haven't done this sort of case before in your LA maybe yours will set a precedent? :huh:



        If you get stuck with it, I would definitely contact your local Councillor.



        Take care flossie .

        Comment


        • #5
          hey Flossie



          sorry to hear he is still playing silly devils, but I am pleased you have mum a little on your side.



          I hope this chap from the council can help you, like holly says, try and contact some councillors, it might get things moving again



          I kinda a feel a bit sorry for the mum in this too, sounds like she needs to take control of the situation

          Comment


          • #6




            The issue of ASBO's is quite interesting, for private householders...seems that your council is loking at buck passing, but i cant see the police wanting to take it on...i can just see private householders having to take action themselves to get an ASBO served, with the council dealing with people in social housing.



            i agree with you, private householders have a lot more difficulty getting things dealt with, yet we have to contribute the most, so it seems...



            a local council near me has now got a dedicated team of ASBO officers, like a flying squad, you can call them up if you have a problem, whether you are private or not. but then this is london we are talking about, and an area which has got the spotlight on it at the moment.



            :nfh1: :ban:
            http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif



            I decree today that life

            Is simply taking and not giving

            England is mine - it owes me a living

            But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

            Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr




            Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno



            I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar



            "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson



            The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward



            An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter



            Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron



            Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb



            There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux



            Carpe Diem



            Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne

            Comment


            • #7
              Hopefully they are just reviewing the situation. He did say it cost around £2 - 3 K to get an asbo - I thought that was pretty cheap! I'd be willing to pay towards that, although I do pay my council tax so......



              The NFH has previously had treatment for his drinking, but seems to be refusing any further treatment. I wouldn't class him as an alcoholic, he's a drunk, but he's not an alcoholic (if you know what I mean). Also think he might be on something else - he raves and rages for hours at a time. I didn't think drink alone could sustain him through that. Mum doesn't know what to do with him - he doesn't work or attempt to find work. She's definitely losing control of him now. I feel a bit sorry for her, but not sorry enough to know that at the end of the day it's her house and she could kick him out. Excuses for why not are getting a bit thin now.



              oh well, feel a bit better today. keep cheerful and keep going. :ban:

              Comment


              • #8
                he's a drunk, but he's not an alcoholic


                Hi Annabel,



                Well however it's labelled, living with alcohol is hard work, and I can understand that you feel sorry for his Mum. I really hope that the council come through for you



                Glad you had a peaceful night,



                Blue Cow

                Comment


                • #9
                  flossie, I d say he is DEFINITELY an alcoholic, as I used to live next door to one (he was harmless, thankfully).



                  he used to rant and rave as well and it was purely from drink. do not underestimate what a powerful effect this has on a person and the toll it takes on their bodies. it truly addles their brains....



                  unfortunately it seems with your NFH, he hasnt reached rock bottom yet, and until he does, his mum will have a tough time helping him. she may well have to get to the point of slinging him out, being cruel to be kind, in order to get him to seek help.



                  :nfh1: :ban:
                  http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif



                  I decree today that life

                  Is simply taking and not giving

                  England is mine - it owes me a living

                  But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

                  Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr




                  Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno



                  I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar



                  "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson



                  The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward



                  An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter



                  Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron



                  Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb



                  There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux



                  Carpe Diem



                  Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Flossie



                    sorry to hear you are getting nowhere fast and it's horible when you think things are improving and then back to square one again.



                    With regards to his Mum:



                    I feel a bit sorry for her, but not sorry enough to know that at the end of the day it's her house and she could kick him out. Excuses for why not are getting a bit thin now.


                    Perhaps there are 2 reasons.



                    First, despite everything, she loves him and secondly, perhaps she is terrified he will come to a sticky end if she kicks him out and then she would never forgive herself.



                    No help to you of course and I hope you get somewhere with the asbo.



                    Take care.



                    John
                    "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Flossie,



                      Sorry to hear your nfh has started up again...he didn't last long did he?

                      His mum really does need to consider her neighbours in all this - how much are you expected to take(however sorry you feel for her)?



                      The following link to info re ASBOs, outlines how areas are supposed to be working in partnership to deal with ASB, and contains further links on guidance for the authorities in implementing their partnerships

                      http://www.crimereduction.gov.uk/asbos5.htm

                      perhaps your local authority needs a hard copy?

                      There should be at least an ASB co-ordinator for your area (lilkely to be a council or police official from what I gather. Perhaps they could clarify for you if anyone is taking responsibility here, where the ASB is perpetrated by someone in an owned property?



                      Good luck with any leads on this Flossie, and do let us know how it goes



                      Regards,



                      Sapph

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        thanks saphirelily - not sure if it's slightly different in Scotland. But I'll certainly keep you all informed.



                        as ever, thanks for all your support. This board is really invaluable at making me feel not alone - sometimes can't even talk about how I feel with OH or anyone else for that matter, which I know sounds daft but it doesn't affect him in quite the same way.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi Flossie,



                          It may be a bit diferent in Scotland, as you say. Pointers on the Scottish Executive website? Maybe you could e-mail them with the link, an ask how their guidelines differ (if they do). Then you can quote them with complete authority at your authority?



                          Very glad you feel supported here; it's good to know that members collectively can help in this way. . Do keep us posted

                          Regards,



                          Sapph

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            NEWS! Top council neighbour complaints bloke just phoned me. He's getting the printout of incidents from the police, then him and Inspector for Community Policing in my area are paying nfh a visit! I'm so excited!



                            They will definitely handle if it needs an asbo. So that's a relief.



                            Feel very hyper at the moment - woohoo! :P

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi Flossie



                              I hope that they come through for you and soon.



                              Keep us posted



                              Blue Cow

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X