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  • The Bully next door



    I moved here two yrs ago to a new area for a new start, i knew no-one."He" was so pleasant. Then "he" kept asking if i was going to leave & telling me everyone who had lived in my new home "he had got rid of".



    There is a shared driveway with no boundary line &he told me he didn't want me to leave my car outside on my half of the driveway. I put a security light up & was told to take it down!! He told me he was a bully & would get his own way.



    That was September last year & for three weeks i actually moved out of my home. I used to sit with my curtains closed in the day because he would shout abuse at me if i was in my lounge. The police arrested him but there were no witnesses, he hasn't the courage to do these things in front of others. Other neighbours noticied something was wrong &have been a great help. I have since found out "he" has hit other neighbours & damaged their property. "He" sits in his window all day watching everyone else. I have since erected a bounday fence which annoyed him even more.



    On the advice of the Police I have had to keep a diary for the past 13 months &install a cctv. I get threats of violence &constant verbal abuse. In August this year the police cautioned him. My home is up for sale. I know it won't sell. But its not just me he has the same vendetta against three other neighbours & four others have already gone because of him. I dread coming home each day but i've no intention of letting him beat me :P "he" is such a sad creature.

  • #2
    Hi Maria2, and a warm welcome to NFHiB



    What a complete bully! And he boasts about it? Astounding!! I'm very glad you have some support from other neighbours...are they logging events too?



    Now he has been cautioned, have the police explained to you what they will do next about this harassment? Can you get any back-up from any of the other people he has already driven out?



    Sorry to be asking so many questions, but just trying to get a full picture...it will help members think around the situation from as many angles as possible.



    If you haven't seen them already, do have a look at the self-help articles

    http://www.nfh.org.uk/resources/Articles/index.php

    and the articles on legislation

    http://www.nfh.org.uk/law/index.php



    I do hope you find the site useful, and I'm sure other members will be offering you lots of support and suggestions.



    Glad to see you are determined not to let this nasty individual grind you down!



    If you ever need to rant, do feel free in "Ranter's Corner", we all have a good stomp around in there!



    regards,



    Sapph

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Sapph. My other neighbours have been very supportive and we are al having to work together. We all are keeping logs (advised by the police) but this person always seems to be one step ahead of the law. The local police know him very well as in one particular case he was charged with ABH. May i just point out, "he" is 65 years of age which astounds me even more. The police have been with me tonight as "he" knocked down my boundary fence and told me it wont be fixed and i have to live with it and for the first time in 12 mths i spoke to him today, well in fact i let my mouth run away with me (woops) but boy it felt good :blush: The police are on "my side" and "he" has until Thursday when the PC is back on duty to pay for repairs or he will be arrested and charged but not the harrasment I'm sure that will come as "he" won't rest until he's had the last word. And yes, i do have statement from previous neighbours detailing all his previous actions and these can be used if a case is brought against him :lol: Not found ranters corner yet but just so far tonight it's been a wonderful relief to know i'm not alone and not :banghead: because after a while it does get tedious trying to explain to people who do not fully understand.



      :thumbs: Maria2

      Comment


      • #4


        The cctv i have has a microphone so whenever i go outside or see him coming near my home i switch it on and everything recorded or taped is automatically dated and timed and the police will use the evidence if need be.



        Thank you for your support.



        :thumbs:

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi Maria2



          It does sound like he's shot himself in the foot somewhat there! Even tho' he sounds as if he thinks he's invincible as far as the law goes, he's not. It sounds as if you are doing sterling work in gathering/recording evidence, aided by support from a couple of neighbours. So criminal damage on top of harassment? He's going to be charged, or he's going to be galled to have to pay you.



          Please do your best not to retaliate in any way, in fact, if you can avoid engaging with him completely, do. Don't give him the satisfaction of any response to anything, even tho' I know it's highly tempting. But he sounds as if he wants a response, after all, it probably proves to him that he is getting to you. Which is what he wants. There is a good deal of interesting discussion around the Forum on this very issue, so keep an eye open for it!



          I'm sure you will find your way to Ranter's Corner, btw.....apologies for forgetting, but you won't find it until you've made 5 posts...then all will be revealed!



          Glad you have bags of perseverance and persistence as this is going to help you win out here....keep at this, you will succeed!



          If you feel less alone with how nfh can make you feel, then we are glad you found us :thumbs:



          Sapph





          Btw, Maria2....you don't have the only nfh who is no youngster......you will be surprised how many nfh are pensioners!! So, again, you aren't alone

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Maria and welcome



            Any bets your NFH was the school bully? He sounds like a rather nasty but pathetic idiot



            It's heartening to hear that other neighbours are there to support you. There's not much advice I can give apart from keep your chin up I think Sapph's got it covered I would like to echo what Sapph has said about not retaliationg though. Things can escalate but if he thinks he's not getting a reaction from you then his day is spoiled! The picture I have of him is that dog in the Tom and Gerry cartoons, sitting in his kennel and just coming out to bark and snarl :P What a sad pathetic life that must be.



            I hope the police do something. All too often we hear of really serious complaints going unheeded by the police.



            Wish there was more I could say to help. But good luck, don't despair



            Misty
            "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

            Comment


            • #7
              HI THERE, its a terrible shame that you are having to go through this, especially when so many others have suffered too. Did the previous owner give no hint that their was a problem? It was unfair of them not to. I still find it so difficult to understand how these people get away with it time and time again. Before it happened to us I did actually believe that it couldn't happen. :crazy:



              However you are not alone and will get great support here. Sounds like you are doing all you possibly can and getting it right.



              Good luck,



              Stay safe.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Maria2 and welcome,



                Your NFH really is a bully and a creep isn't he. No matter how many awful stories I read on this site, I still never fail to be shocked over how some people make it their mission in life to make other's lives a misery :cry: .



                Well done for sticking up to him, although I can see how draining and hard it would be for you. Sapph's given you some really good advice and links, and I really do hope that they help.



                From what you have told us, it seems like the police are on the case with him, (from what you have described, I don't think I'd be holding my breath for him to stump up the compensation by Thursday) and I hope that they charge him.



                I'm sure that it felt good to let loose on him, but please just be careful that you don't give him any ammunition to sling back at you.



                Take care, and please let us know any updates



                Blue Cow

                Comment


                • #9
                  I have just been reading onJohn, Julie and children and only wish I had found this forum last year when it all started for me. I felt at first as tho evryone was curtain twitching &pointing their finger at me but i now know that wasn't the case. It took me nearly 7 or 8 months to feel as tho i could stand up to him & the only way possible was to go about my business and ignore him & John said something i felt at the time "did it seem as tho i was acting"

                  But now when i leave the house and he is about i can see the NFH looking and he is desperate for me to react to him and i don't (except for yesterday) this will break him, not me as i have done nothing wrong and the more normal life i live the more his blood pressure goes up.

                  Oh dear I am confident all will work out but i am also wise to the fact that things have to get worse before they get better than this. I will never be fully prepared for what he will do next but I know i am able to overcome the sick feeling in my stomach when he does it & the real panic i will feel at the time.



                  Thank you for your message of supprt, I really don't feel as tho i am having a moan here. I will update as to whether he pays for the damage or not, we will see.

                  Would like to catch up with John and see his outcome is that possible?



                  Thanks.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi there!



                    welcome to NFHiB, we will always listen to your moans and rants!

                    you are certainly no longer alone.



                    we have all been there and many of us are still in that horrible stomach churning position.



                    you can be strong, I know it so hard.



                    tips that help.....we all swear by sunglasses!! doesnt matter what time of year it is, if you are wearing shades, "he" can not make eye contact!

                    will drive him potty!!



                    another thing, get net curtains up, he will not be able to see if you are in or not, and still wont be able to stare at you if you are in, I have some thick plain ones like cheese cloth, they let a lovely muted light in to my house, and no one can see me, nets are really important too if you have a through lounge where you can see from one window to the other, bonus is they deter burglars too, as they cant see if the house id empty.



                    Sapphy has already pointed you to the help articles, worth a read



                    keep coming back and please moan if you want to, we have all had a good rant here!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Maria2



                      I am glad you are finding it useful here!



                      We don't think you are moaning... for goodness sake, you need to off-load it all somewhere!



                      What an absolute cretin this idiot sounds like. No, I am not surprised he's over 65 either, believe me, these types seem to think they are above everyone else - including the law. :frown:



                      Somehow, it sounds like the net is closing in on him - I really hope that the police will come down a lot heavier on him very soon - a caution just isn't enough for that evil piece of dog dirt! :angry:



                      He does sound so primitive and territorial, it's so pitiful. Whatever next - will he go about marking his territory like other creatures soon too? :blink: (perhaps he already does, filthy beast :lol: )



                      You just keep logging it all and stick with the decent neighbours, he'll surely get what's coming to him.



                      And don't forget, there's almost always someone hanging about here if you need to vent somewhere!



                      Mazza



                      :nfh1:

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Red1

                        The previous owners declared that they knew of "no trouble" with any neighbours if i were to track them down I would have to prove they did know. Have thought of taking the issue further as I believe there has just been a test case won recently but that will just be more aggravation for me. :angry:



                        Blue cow

                        Yup. He's a Bully a Creep and unfortunately there are too many of them around. I'm hoping he doesn't cough the money up. Love to see him arrested again He may not be able to afford the repairs to my boundary fence yet as he has to have the dents knocked out of his car from when he hit the post :hihi:



                        Mistyeyeddreamer

                        You got him in one. But i gave him another character name. The evil ventrilquist dummy from Childsplay "Chuckie" The police were reluctant to start with but had to accept that there was a genuine problem here and as we now have a "local bobby" its easier to get a response and action to be taken without having to keep explaining to someone new each time.

                        :thumbs:

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I know what you mean about the further hassle finding the previous tennant. Its all most people can do just to live with whats happening at the moment. I don't know where you would stand if you pursued it after this is finished. Someone else may know.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hi Maria



                            Sorry, but I have only just caught up with your awful story. I see you have mentioned my situation. All I can say is follow the wonderful advice we were given and all the avice you are being given. We are by no means sorted yet but we do feel far stronger.



                            From Beth:



                            tips that help.....we all swear by sunglasses!! doesnt matter what time of year it is, if you are wearing shades, "he" can not make eye contact!

                            will drive him potty!!


                            This sure worked - we were inseperable from our shades - good job it was such a hot summer!! :P Now wearing reaction lenses in normal specs.



                            You are obviously having a hard time. I would agree with the others. Tempting as it is to have a verbal volley at him, this is what he wants so will claim you having a go as a victory. Best to (and again I quote rockbank) "IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE". Will keep up with how you are doing. Stay strong and keep a sense of humour!



                            John
                            "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi Maria2



                              Just a quick note on disclosure by the previous owners. When you bought your house was there a "Seller's Property Information Form" (SPIF) ? Have a word with the solicitor who handled your conveyancing. I can't remember when some changes with this came in, but if there was one, then the former owners should have declared any disputes on there.



                              For further info on this, see

                              http://www.nfh.org.uk/forums/index.php?showtopic=2441



                              All the best,

                              Sapph

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