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  • Seems like I'm lucky..

    My first post, so please be gentle!



    After reading through some of the other members posts, I've got to say my NFH story is nothing (yet!).. But then forearmed is forewarned.



    We've been living in the same Semi for over five years and have been getting on really well with the other half (SERIOUSLY well, we invite them to family do's, etc.)... That was until last week..



    When out of the blue we get banging on the front door and TONS of abuse about us parking in their parking space. Unfortunately my wife opened the door & just moved the car. I would've told them to go away until they can ask us nicely .



    The strange thing is we are talking about on-street, unallocated parking. They just like to park outside their house (as we all do, I'm sure).. She does nothing all day but curtain twitch (great when your neighbour has a parcel delivered.. or when there's some juicy gossip) and guard her parking space until hubbie gets home.



    My wife has so far stopped me from any retaliation (why do they ALWAYS know best???! :lol: :lol: ) such as deliberately parking there 10mins before hubby returns, etc. etc. I essentially signed on here to find out how have other people

    have handled 'self imposed traffic warden's.



    Mark.

    btw - whilst we have not changed our day-to-day habbits, they now actively avoid us, which I have to say is amusement in itself. :P

  • #2
    People are so territorial, even claiming space that's not theirs to claim!



    In your position, I would walk away from this one and let them park. In the long term, you may save yourself no end of trouble. If you start retaliating she may become even more irrational perhaps and before you know it, you'll be at war big time!?



    John
    "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi baguette and welcome to the forum



      I'm inclined to agree with John. It seems a pity that five years of friendship should end because of a parking place



      I think a bit of damage limitation now will stop years of heartache. Retaliation never really works it just ups the ante and things go from bad to worse.



      Maybe you could just mention casually that you thought their reaction was a little over the top and it wouldn't have harmed for them to ask for your car to be moved without all the abuse. After all, you are reasonable people.



      They're probably avoiding you because they now feel quite stupid :P If things can't be mended then at least you'll know it's not your fault and better icy silence that all out war. At least that's the way I see it, you might disagree



      Misty
      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

      Comment


      • #4
        This is the first piece of advice I've dished out so far - thought I should do my bit since everyone has been so good to me...



        Since you're usually on such good terms with your neighbours why don't you invite them around for a meal or something and just try and resolve it over a few drinks? You could just say that you were a bit offended by the manner in which you were asked to move your car - point out that you need to resolve this issue in order to live together in the same road and you should come up with some agreement that you could both stick to over the parking.



        Good luck - hope you resolve this soon..

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Jus@Oct 27 2003, 5:23 PM

          This is the first piece of advice I've dished out so far - thought I should do my bit since everyone has been so good to me...



          Since you're usually on such good terms with your neighbours why don't you invite them around for a meal or something and just try and resolve it over a few drinks?* You could just say that you were a bit offended by the manner in which you were asked to move your car - point out that you need to resolve this issue in order to live together in the same road and you should come up with some agreement that you could both stick to over the parking.



          Good luck - hope you resolve this soon..
          WOW.. What a good idea. :notworthy:





          + its not the first time someone has suggested that they are avoiding us because they may just be really embarrassed.. (SURELY its not that hard to say sorry?? Odd behaviour)



          Its strange how you get soooo involved in something that really is quite petty..



          Mark

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Mark, and welcome to NFHiB



            I'm glad that you've joined the forum, hopefully so you can get some advice/support, but also to maybe encourage others reading your post to explore amicable and reasonable means of tackling a problem in it's early stages(and assuming you do not fear for your safety!). The approaches suggested here are a great example of trying to resolve a problem, or at least prevent it escalating immediately into all-out war/ a legal battle!



            Of course, your neighbours may still react in an unreasonable fashion, but I think it's well worth a go to try one of the amicable approaches first.



            Good luck with this one, and i do hope this is resolved at the first hurdle Oh, and nice one, for the calm approach, even though blood was boiling at the attitude you were faced with



            Regards,



            Sapph

            Comment


            • #7
              Wow. A totally unexpected and out-of-the-blue reaction from your neighbour? Is it possible that she has been jealous of you for some time? Or angry with you for something else she thinks you have done? There might be more to her response than meets the eye.



              A conciliatory response is probably the best bet. I mean, they might ignore you but at least it will be their responsibility if they do.

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              • #8
                I do hope you manage to get it sorted out, not only just to save the hassle that could ensue but it may not be too late to save what was a good relationship, not always easy to come by. It has to be worth a try.



                :thumbs: Good luck

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi Mark,



                  They could have just been having a bad day (you know what that's like!) and have taken it out on you. It happens to all of us, and you end up cringing wishing you could take back what you've said.



                  Seriously, give them a chance to redeem themselves and still save face. It could save you no end of trouble. Inviting them round for a drink is a good idea if you've done it in the past. However, if you want to keep your distance after this latest episode, then a friendly passing chat would work.



                  Personally, I wouldn't mention anything about the parking. Really, the only result this will have is to add fuel to an argument that really doesn't need to start.



                  Sometimes it's wisest to take the higher ground.



                  Take care



                  Blue Cow

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Mark



                    on road parking can be such a problem, I know it is where we live, when the houses were built I dont think the motor car had been invented! :lol:



                    we often get annoted when we cant park outside our home, mainly due to visitors on the street.

                    I remeber the first day we moved in and our neighbour said you moving in? well dont park in my space!!

                    we were shocked but we have since found out why he felt like that and actually is a very good neighbour.



                    from what you say it does sound like they were having a bad day, and I would go with the others and say please try to make up before it goes further.

                    have a drink with them, you dont even have to mention it!

                    does sound like they are bit emabarrased of how they spoke to you.



                    good luck and please let us know if you get back your freindship!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Mark and welcome



                      Sorry I've come in late to this, but the others have written great words of wisdom as always !



                      On-road parking was an issue where I lived before and there was just an unwritten/unspoken rule that you only parked in front of your own house and never in front of anyone elses - your visitors had to park up some other street and walk! It worked there.



                      Definitely try and do everything you can to salvage the relationship - once it starts down a slippery slope it's very hard to get it going uphill and on the level again.



                      Good luck with it and please let us know how you're getting on.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        WOW!



                        (I say wow a lot, btw) :lol:



                        Of all the responses I was expecting, none of the above came close.. What in insightful and enlightening bunch you are! I'm off to help old ladies cross the street!!



                        I have to say you've made me look at this 'situation' in a completely different light and from a different angle, yes they've upset us, but lets think about WHY they did that...



                        Well, this weekend we're going try & see if there's anything to be salvaged. Will update the list as soon as I can.



                        Bags.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi "Bags" :lol:



                          Well, this weekend we're going try & see if there's anything to be salvaged


                          Good luck!! :clover: :clover:



                          And let us know how it goes



                          Blue Cow

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hi Mark, and nice to hear back from you again



                            Good luck with salvaging the relationship here!! And, if it doesn't work out, it's not for want of trying . Do hope you get a positive response, and let us know how you go



                            Sapph

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi, we recently moved to a new house after years of NFH problems. There is a slight problem here with on road parking but people are generally nice and keep to parking outside their own house if possible. The only problems crop up when visitors arrive who will park anywhere they can but not a lot can be done about it and no-one so far has got worked up about it

                              The main cause of this problem IMHO is that people now often have at least 2 cars per household. If there was just the one then we'd all have parking spaces. But so many people need 2 cars I don't think the problem will go away.

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