Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

my story

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • my story

    i too have experienced similar trouble from my nfh. i have had neighbours blocking me in, giving myself and my children obscene gestures, swearing at us, chasing my children off the street telling them theyre not wanted here and to leave, they stand and stare at us and shout GET OUT when we come home.



    One of them hit me last year and this year i have had threats from them. I have had to call the police several times infact too numerous to count, i have monitored everything thats happened for the council, but i have been told that because of the counter allegations they cant do anything. Yet two other families have left the street because of them and three families in the next street have experienced some form of harrassment from them.

    My 12yr old son has put up with bullying and harrassment from these people and their children, where they throw stones and hit him on the way home from school, hes put up with it for a year and a half, then finally last week he kicked one of them because he just cant take it anymore, hes now getting a reprimand from the police, i feel its so unfair.

    They have said that they were going to get us out one way or another!!! why should i move ive made our home really nice why should i give it up cos of them. Council offered us a management transfer and are now taking legal advise as to what to do. I had to make a complaint cos they werent doing anything and same with police i have made a complaint cos theyre not doing anything. Just waiting to see what happens now with that.

    My nfh have reported me to every authority there is, they are trying to intimidate me all the time, and they are trying to make my life a living hell, which it is so i would move. When i get visitors on my door they listen i have no privacy and they remark the time and date when my boyfriend comes over. They have chased my visitors and family out the street too, and try to cause fights with them, therefore i dont get many visitors now.



    last year my son tried to kill himself because of it, and every night i cry myself to sleep. If only the police and council would help that would be something. The nfh keep going on about me buying things and thats what i believe started all this off, but i have only made myself a home. I now keep onto the police and council, i have had enough. I cant take anymore. :banghead:

    nicky

  • #2
    Hi Nicky and welcome



    Your neighbours seem intent on harassing you out of the area, and would appear to be succeeding with their intimidation and bully tactics. I can't understand why the police don't seem to have done anything about the threatening behaviour and the attack on you for starters, and would be interested as to what their response to this is. Do let us know how the complaint progresses.



    It's good that you are recording everything that happens, as it could prove invaluable in the future. Out of interest, what are your neighbours reporting you for? and are the council taking them seriously?



    This is obviously having a terrible impact on you and your son, do you feel now that you want to move, or stay and resolve the situation. Either way, you have come to the right place for advice and support.



    Take care



    Blue Cow

    Comment


    • #3
      Hello nicky.



      I am a new member too and I hope you find this forum as helpful as I have. It seems I've had more advice here over the last few weeks than I have from anyone else over the last 8years. I am certain that others will reply to you too because they all understand what you and your son are going through.



      The only question I have is Have you tried to contact your local MP? He/She will be able to contact police and the council and find out what more can be done for you. I contacted my MP a couple of months ago and it seems to have done some good.



      My thoughts are with you.

      Take Care

      Libra

      Comment


      • #4
        Nicky,



        A truly dreadful situation that you find yourself in and clearly once again the police and authorities are failing at ground level to either act or take any action to prevent this sliding ever further down into more abuse.



        I can totally understand your reasons for not wanting to move. However, what I say to you now is that you clearly have grounds here to pursue cases for negligence on both the police and councils parts for their abject failure to do anything about this.



        You need to get yourself a lawyer who will talk you through the routes that you need to take. When you put things like this in the hands of a solicitor then ultimately those in authority sit up and start to take notice.



        These horrors of neighbours should be the ones who are forced to move, in reality it is often a much different case altogether.



        I wish I could wave a magic wand and give you better advice although personally myself I would put the welfare of my family above all else and get the hell out of there. Easier said than done I know, but I think it should be something you should consider. It is not going ot get any better and the slog could continue like this for another couple of years. Are you really up for this emotionally ? I don't think you are. Sit down and work out honestly what you want to do and then resolve to that final descision and stick by it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Nicky



          This sounds horrendous.



          First advice I can give is to try and calm yourself down. This is not in itself easy but if you can do it, you will feel better and more able to cope. Just visiting this forum regularly is a calming influence for a lot of people.



          Understandably, you have tried to fight back. Who wouldn't? But, others will advise you to ignore them. We were sceptical about this advice but it really makes a difference because they will then have absolutely no idea of what you are thinking or doing. You then immediately have the upper hand.



          Try these two things. I fel sure they will help.



          Take care.



          John
          "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Nicky, and welcome to NFHiB



            What a dreadful time you've been having :badmood: In case you haven't seen the self-help articles, do check them out

            http://www.nfh.org.uk/resources/Articles/index.php

            and for a look at aspects of legislation, see

            http://www.nfh.org.uk/law/index.php



            Dependent on the resources you may have to pay a solicitor, you may find it useful to see if there is a housing advice/housing aid centre in your area. The following link will help you establish if there is

            http://www.justask.org.uk/index.jsp



            I was wondering whether the school is aware of the bullyng your son has been enduring? They should be involved in protecting him from this awful behaviour.



            I feel it is up to you, whether you try to fight this, or take up the chance to move. But, whatever your choice, keep as safe as possible, and weigh up what is most important in your situation.



            Do post here as often as you need, and good luck with this



            Regards,



            Sapph

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi Nicky,



              Welcome to the Forum.



              You've been given great advice already, so I won't go into that.



              What I would like to say is that you'll have to weigh up what you really want from all this.



              Do you want to spend months, possibly years logging, reporting, phoning, writing to all the authorities? And having to defend the counter allegations slung at you?



              Do you want your kids to suffer even a minute more of this torment that they are being subjected to? Do YOU want to suffer any longer?



              I know you have made your home nice, but what price can you put on your family's long-term emotional well being?



              I would personally take the Man Tran and run as far as I could. The Council don't offer transfers very often, so think very carefully about what you are going to do.



              Don't think that THEY are winning if you move. They aren't; YOU are. THEY will be left in their sad cess pit lives and you would be well shot of it.



              Good luck in whatever you choose - there's usually someone here to bounce off if you need to!



              Mazza

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Nicky and welcome to the forum



                I felt sick reading your story because it matched up so well with what my family had to go through when my kids were younger It's bad enough when we are attacked but when it our kids we just feel so helpless and hopeless



                Keep on with logging incidents and getting on to the council and police. I think it's outrageous that you son received a reprimand for defending himself :rant:



                I know you don't want to move because you've made your home the way you want it and anyway why should NFH be able to feel they've won!! But sometimes, if things are really bad and you have to chance to get away from it I think you should take it. This is just my personal view because if I could have moved away when it was happening to my family I would have done so in a heartbeat. But, for reasons I won't go into, we were trapped Still are in fact.



                I hate to sound negative but unless the council and the police pull their fingers out nothing will change. The new legislation that is supposed to be in place quite soon might help but I think it will take time.



                Anyway, whatever you decide to do I wish you all the luck in the world. You and your family deserve some peace



                Misty
                "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi again



                  It's bad enough when we are attacked but when it our kids we just feel so helpless and hopeless


                  Agree with Misty here.



                  We can't move but deep down would like to. Pinning our hopes on them possibly moving.....



                  If you get a good chance to go via the Council, perhaps grabbing that chance would be best idea. You would be the winnes - just by getting away from thm.



                  John
                  "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Nicky, I hope somehow you manage to get peace from all this. There is a terrific book called hard choices easy decisions which you may find useful. Also it does sound like you are really down. St Johns Wort is marvellous and non addictive, (stay out of strong sun and sunbeds though)



                    All the best with whatever course you take



                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Nicky and a belated welcome to NFHiB from me



                      Sorry to hear about all the trouble you're experiencing at the moment. Not nice for any of you.



                      I would also recommend that you contact Victim Support as they can support you in liasing between the Police and local authority.



                      I take it that both you and your NFH are local authority tenants? It really beggars belief that when they have all this information from you, and other tenants about the NFH's behaviour that they haven't taken any possession action against them for breaching the tenancy agreement by causing a nuisance. :huh:



                      I think for you and your children, the easiest and most painless way forward is to move. If you are being offered a transfer, then take it. Like sapphire says, you may be able to get some further help with this from a Housing Advice Centre and/or your local Citizens Advice Bureau.



                      Good luck and please let us know how you're getting on.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Nasty stuff.



                        Is there a reason why they are picking on you? Sometimes even the smallest thing will set them off



                        FF
                        Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"



                        Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"



                        Howard:"I know...of you"



                        Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

                        Lovely lady with the eye

                        Lovely lady with the eye

                        You've only got one but it's a good one

                        Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

                        coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

                        Yeah! I'm in a band..."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi Nicky,



                          Your morale sounds very low and the fact your children are also suffering must be making you feel even worse. I hope your GP knows what you are all going through at the moment.



                          Try not to let your neighbours get into your head; this is where the conflict is really taking place. We often believe there is nothing we can do to control the unhappiness we feel. In fact while our problems are influenced by external factors, our thoughts and actions also have an effect on how we feel and these are ours and therefore under our control. This kind of rational approach to what we feel may seem alien, but it can help and is easier with practice.



                          This difficult situation will not last forever, you will come out of it at the other end, whatever decision you make.
                          'The only kind of courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one minute to the next.' - Mignon McLaughlin

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I have just had a reply from the council to my complaint against them and they basically are just passing the buck, they dont want to know. They said take it up with a solicitor!!! solicitors say its a westlea problem. police say its a westlea problem. No one will listen. how can i get it sorted when the very people who are there to help just ignore it!!!

                            They even say im as bad as my neighbours, according to the counter allegations, is the council really that stupid that they cant see whats going on.

                            The police still wont listen to my complaint that my neighbour threatened me with violence they havent even come out to chat to me about it. i feel all alone here, trapped.

                            Why cant they see that the others moved out for a reason!!!

                            Why wont they do anything about my neighbours breaking the behaviour contracts.

                            I just cant take anymore, and there doesnt seem much point sending anymore monitoring forms to the council cos theyre not doing anything to help they are just making me feel worst cos they dont believe me and they seem to take sides with the nfh. I have had a warning letter off the council and my neighbours didnt get one, which is just making me feel really down cos i am putting up with this and i am the one who gets the warning. I havent done anything!!!!!!!!!!!

                            any suggestions please i am really cant cope anymore

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi Nicky,



                              A very unhelpful response from the council then :badmood:



                              You have been threatened and physically abused and your children have been intimidated, the police do need to investigate this. Have you had a reply back yet about the complaint you made about the case?



                              Out of interest, is the offer of a transfer still on the table? If so, I wonder if you should seriously be considering it. We moved away from our NFH about 15 months ago, and have never regretted it, even though we had worked so hard on our old house :cry:



                              I can understand that that you are reluctant to leave, but it cold well be worth it in the long term.



                              Take care



                              Blue Cow

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X