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  • Can't cope anymore - stuck

    Hello All,

    I posted a few days ago with my story and feel as though I can't go on anymore.

    my NFH played loud music tonight from 6.45 - 8.00 which although not late, was just as we were trying to settle our daughter who is now ill with a stomach bug.

    I became very upset, panicked and ended up crying my eyes out - I'm worried I'm going mad

    We have tried to be reasonable with our NFH and explained that our daughter goes to bed at around 7pm and we'd therefore appreciate the volume being kept down from that time, but they don't seem to care. How can anyone be this inconsiderate knowing there is a toddler next door?

    TOnight wasn't *that* bad, but I am so dreading the weekend.....

    My partner and I have read the Self Help tips tonight and have talked about getting EH involved but we are worried about the implications if we tried to sell our house. We can't afford to move right now, but hope to next year, so would we be legally obligated to tell any potention buyers then?

    The thought of putting up with this night after night until we can afford to move is terrible, I don't know what to do...........

    Any tips on how to ignore noise from NFH greatly appreciated.

    Thanks for reading another whinge


  • #2
    Hi again eeejay

    Sorry NFH aren't giving you any peace.

    Practical tips for blocking out noise: ear plugs, background sounds (music, electric fans, telly...).

    If you have been in touch with them and they are still behaving exactly the same, I don't think you really have any choice but contact the EH department. Unless of course you are just going to ignore their noise or adapt to it.

    Once you involve the EH, they might realise that you are serious about the complaint and they may tone down their noise and behaviour. If that works, then you should have no worries if you come to sell a year down the line.

    The only problem is that once you involve the EH or start making other "official" complaints, the relationship between you as neighbours will have changed forever. You have to be prepared for that.

    Just letting you know my view on it, for what it's worth .



    • #3
      Hi Eeejay,

      A year is a very long time to put up with this continuing :badmood: If you are pulling your hair out now, do you really think that you can realistically put up with this for months to come?

      You have the right to a peaceful life for you and your family. You've tried asking your neighbour nicely and they've chosen to ignore your requests so I don't really see any other route for you than to contact EH and start fighting for your rights.

      I'm really sorry that you are feeling so fraught over all this. Your neighbours really do have no consideration at all. It's awful when little ones are unwell, as you feel so inadequate. I hope that she picks up soon (they usually do which is the only blessing).

      Take care,

      Blue Cow


      • #4

        I agree with the others. You really have to think a little more short term here, as far as noise goes, and think of your health.

        You may find that the initial warning letter from the EHO does the trick. It did, to an extent, work for us. We still get the loud music and other noise, but not to the same degree. Your neighbours are obviously totally inconsiderate so perhaps now is the time to bite the bullet and take appropriate action.

        Hope it all works out. Believe me, we know how much the noise drains you. Take care.

        "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"


        • #5
          Hi Eejay

          I am sorry to hear that your littl'un has a bug- nasty, unsettling things and you just don't need it on top of a selfish, ignorant NFH :frown:

          I do think that a year is a long time to wait and I would not be able to stand it for that length of time. At times of additional pressure, I would probably feel like I were going mad too, so don't be hard on yourself.

          First and foremost, you need to look after yourself and your baby, so you must do whatever it takes to do that. Get the obvious out of the way - both see your GP asap as you've probably caught the bug too and it would get anyone down :sad: .

          Give yourself a bit of breathing space - allow the little one to recover and then ask yourself if you can see yourself coping until you sell? If not, then get the Environmental Health in as soon as poss, they can quite often nip things in the bud - your NFH just might respond to a short sharp shock.

          Think about it, the NFH is clearly of low intelligence and is probably ignorant of the fact that there are laws to protect you, so a little visit from your Env Health Officer might just sort it quickly and then you'd not have to declare anything when you sell.

          Don't forget, you are not alone. Always remember there is nearly always someone hanging about here if you need a good old rant or blub!




          • #6
            hey eeejay

            I know how you feel, like your brain is going to expolde because of the noise and stress.

            you have no control over whats going on and that adds to the stress.

            there is no harm in going to see your GP for help advice or even medication, we were on some that helped us try to relax on an night, so we could get a little sleep.

            you must take it a day at a time, try not to stress about what they are doing

            concentrate on yourself and family.

            its so easy to focus on them because thats what they make us do.

            I know how hard it is to blank them and their noise

            it causes friction in your own home as well, stay strong, try to get out a bit, away from them

            other members have offered some good advice about blocking out noise.

            keep looking for that silver lining mate!

            and please come and vent here when you need to, theres always some one around who knows how you might be feeling, it dont half help to get it off your chest!


            • #7
              Hi Eejay

              I feel sorry, but not surprised, that all this is noise disturbance getting you down. I think, to some extent, the feelings of no control in this situation make things feel even worse. To get some help via E.H. (which is NOT a quick process to work through), may well immediately make some difference...or it may have to go all the way. And may provoke some unwanted reactions. So you need to prepared for these possibilities if you go down that route.

              You do need to consider what you will have to declare on the Seller's Property Iformation Form if you start this ball rolling


              All in all, you really need to weigh up these things, along with the fact that a year really is a long time to put up with the kind of stress you are suffering now. All the best, whichever choice you make



              • #8
                Thanks so much for the replies.

                I have now contacted the EHO and complained. They are going to send some forms for us to complete and have told us to log all noise - would you believe it, NFH were as quiet as mouses until this lunchtime and I have now listened to 1/2 hour of heavy rock music......Thankfully my little daughter has slept through it.

                I honestly don't know what I would have done without this forum. Even though I feel for everyone going through the same as us it is nice to know we're not alone and talking to people who understand is lovely.

                I am determined to beat my NFH. I have stopped trying to be nice to them now and will await my things from the EHO.

                Thanks for listening



                • #9
                  Hi Eeejay

                  Good luck, I hope that the EHO comes through for you. Your neighbours need to be shown that they can't continue to make your lives at home such a misery :badmood:

                  Good luck and log everything.

                  Take care

                  Blue Cow


                  • #10
                    Hi Eeejay

                    Glad to hear you have contacted E.H., moving forward with this starts here Log EVERY incidence of noise nuisance, give them as complete a picture as possible. If that's 10 incidences of noise nuisance a day, then record that in your log as it is. When you hit 15, check with E.H. if that is enough for them to take the next step. Keep pursuing this, and I feel hopeful you will get results

                    Glad you have found this forum to be a help, and we exist to listen, so keep letting us know how you go!

                    Good luck



                    • #11
                      That's good eeejay

                      Hope you've now got the paperwork and are being vigilant in your logging of all noise incidents.

                      Don't know if you've checked this out yet, but if you haven't have a good read of the NFHiB Self-Help Articles here .

                      Let us know how you're getting on.