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Prisoner in own home (July)

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  • Prisoner in own home (July)

    Hello everyone,

    It has been quite some time since I last logged on, but so much to do in a day especially during the summer holidays with 5 kids to entertain! Hope everyone had a good summer with or without NFH's.

    My mum has been plugging away trying to sort out her court case with harrassment still going on inspite of the court order - progress is slow. The local MP is aware of her situation but she hasnt heard from him. She is in the process of making a complaint against Housing for their innaction against her NFH and we are both (slowly) building our letter of complaint to the cheif constable. However she is still being pestered and finding it difficult to concentrate on her statement etc.

    A bit of good news, one of the charges against her has been dropped. It was bogus (as it all is as she was only defending herself outside her own door step - literally) but that's a start. Luckily she persued her course in civil law or she would not have managed it, her solicitor didn't have to do anything! There are still many things to sort out but at the moment she is really stuck, which is the reason I am on the net tonight.

    She is still literally a prisoner as she cannot go out because her broken windows are still broken (she cant afford to have them fixed because they were each broken on different occaisions so each is a separate claim requiring an excess payment of between £25 -£50 each!) So she doesnt go out unless someone can sit the house. She has hired security guards before (at £8 per hour) which she cant afford and my brother-in-law sometimes comes but she has been let down many times. Unfortunately the last time was when she needed to attend a meeting with her barrister which required someone to sit for about 4 - 5 hours at her house - needless to say she couldn't get anyone so missed the appointment. She is now very worried as her preliminary hearing is at the end of the month.

    I remember Misty, I think, having the excellent idea of a flying squad to attend in times of need and this would be one of those times for my mum. She has so much to sort out and she cant get out to do anything. Would there be anyone willing to house sit whilst she attends her interview? If so, she has given me permission to give out her telephone number for anyone who would like to help. She needs to visit her barrister and run some important errands.

    She lives in Oldham, Lancashire. Anyone nearby? Please let me know.

    Many thanks. Tamara. :ban:

  • #2
    Hi Tamara,

    Nice to 'see' you back again, although sorry to hear your Mum's still having bad problems .

    Not sure what can be done for you and a flying squad - hopefully others will be along to advise/assist if poss.

    Good luck :clover:




    • #3
      Hi Tamara

      Sorry to hear that your mum is still going through it all .

      There was some mention of something like a "flying squad", but I think that's way down the line with NFHiB - perhaps when the site gets a huge amount of funding (if anyone's interested?? :unsure: ).

      What people can do (and in fact are in some areas) is to get together - only when it's safe to do so - to support each other.

      I know that there is a West Yorkshire contigency - I have met four other members living near me and it does help to meet people in person .

      Sorry can't be of any more help.


      • #4
        Hi Tamara, and so sorry to hear your mum is suffering harassment. I'm glad one of the charges has been dropped;that must be a relief!

        As Holly says...a big wad of cash would be good to get ourselves into the position to organise something like a flying squad! We are very spread out, many people work full-time(not paid work for NFHiB btw!), and this would take organisation and money.

        It's a terrible indictment on our society, and the lack of committment our members often face in having problems dealt with through the mechanisms that exist to deal with them, that your mum fears leaving her house for a few hours! :badmood:

        Is there no way your mum could/would want to move? I don't know how she lives with this awful situation

        I hope your mum can get to her appointment, and the preliminary hearing goes in her favour.




        • #5
          Hi Tamara, thanks for your update, good to see you're still about.

          The flying squad idea is a good one, hopefully something NFHiB can implement through a network in future - we do have future expansion plans so this idea won't be forgotten.


          • #6
            Hi everyone and thanks again for your messages.

            I can see your point with the flying squad, and look forward sucess in that area. What I think my mum needs is to get access to the internet at home so that she can talk to you guys herself, not just for the brilliant advice, but also the sociablilty and comfort from you all being in a position to understand her problem. My sister and her partner are only around at the weekends and dont seem to be able to help her as much as she needs (or I would like). She also doesnt know who to trust and is very paraiod about neibours and the police which comes from so many years of being harrassed.

            I wish I could get over there and help her out although she needs more constant support than a flying visit from me. I suppose I feel desperate and useless as I cant help her much. Being so far away makes this dificult and I also have my own issues and general stuff - getting through the day etc... that means I dont spend as much time as is needed on her.

            Just having a bit of a moan here, sorry. Although I don't know you, you are probably the only folks I can pour it all out to with out totally boring you (hopefully!!)

            Must go and see to kids, dinner is late! I will post in again and let you know how she gets on.

            Take care.

            Tamara :ban:


            • #7
              that would be great Tamara, if your mum could get a cheap P.C. and internet access! Any chance the family could club together and get her one for Christmas . She would, of course, be most welcome to come and join us for support . It could help reduce the isolation she is feeling, and maybe help with all the day-to-day nfh things that are happening to her. Please pass on best wishes




              • #8
                you are not boring us at all!

                we love a good moan, its good for the soul!! :lol:

                It must be frustrating for you and mum, other people think the understand but you are so right, the fullness of it cant be understood till you have been there yourself.

                we used to get it from our family, even though it had been witnessed by them, they didnt realise how truly bad it was.

                hope your mum is ok, please send her our regards!


                • #9

                  That's a great idea, to get her a PC for Crimbo - some are nice and cheap now, so you might get a good deal.

                  Once she's online, stick NFHiB as her Home Page and she'll never be alone again!




                  • #10
                    Thanks for your posts everyone.

                    Another long stint away but I've just got off the phone to my mum and I needed to log on again for some more info.

                    She's got a pc but no modem - shouldn't be too difficult to sort out tho'.

                    Thought she had some good news. The council came for a visit to see if they could sort out her broken windows. It looked like good news until the guy told her that they could not put any bars on the windows until the windows were fixed. My mum pointed out that if the windows were fixed before hand they would only get broken again and the cost etc...etc.. He replied that he couldnt help her if she wasnt going to take his advice!!!

                    Another serious incedent. After three years and several hundred calls made to the police the children of these nfh or kfh are still coming to her door step and calling her "witch" and "paedophile". Its disgusting what they get away with. On one occaision my mum ignored the boy for a good while whilst she was taking the rubbish out, but he kept on and on. She was really upset and ended up bursting the tyres on the boys bike. Not recommended behaviour but then the stress she is under I dont think I could critisize. She was provoked but under the circumstances she does need to make sure her behaviour is impeccable, inspite of all the stress and the fact she has had little sleep in two years. It is obvious they want her to slip up but the repercussions can be dangerous. What actually happened (caught on cctv) was that the family and several other neighbours turned up and started throwing bricks, pieces of wood etc at the house breaking the windows and also shouting abuse. She came outside to tell them to go away and was hit in the head by a flying piece of would causing quite a gash. She managed to call the police on her mobile. This time they responded immediately (for once) and caught them redhanded. The female nfh was charged but was unhappy that my mum was not charged for damaging the bike. The constable said that if my mum dropped her charge he wouldn't arrest her for the bike. My mum wouldn't. They didn't arrest her but two days ago they visisted her and told her she had to buy a new bike. The family nfh had thrown the damaged one away. She argued that she should only have to pay for the damage to the tyres and that since there is no bike there is no evidence.

                    I wish she had just gone back in the house and ignored the boy, but in her words she was teaching him a lesson. The police have not helped her and are harrassing her now, the council are useless, even her solicitor is not representing her as she would wish. She feels backed up against a brick wall with no support. She doesn't want my sisters children to visit because of all the trouble and she doesnt want them to be targets and she still cant leave the house, even more so now that two days ago they broke another window with a sling shot. Its all on cctv and there were even witnesses but the PC that came wrote in his report that there were no witnesses and they couldn't prove who did it.

                    She is so tired. She is making copies of the incedents recorded on cctv for the police (they have finally given her blank tapes), she is recording incedents. She is trying to compile everything to make her complaint against the police to the Chief (I will draft this letter for her) and to the Housing - I really dont know how she is coping - well, she isnt, obviously. She needs to move, or even to get out of the house, but she is afraid of what they will do to the house if she does.

                    Well that's the update. One step forward, two steps back. I hope there will be a positive end to this soon. I'm stressed about it, goodness only knows how she is feeling. She tries to be chirpy on the phone but she really is suffering.

                    Does anyone have any ideas how to get a good lawyer? She is not happy with the one she has and has tried changing but no-one in her town wants to take it on.

                    :sad: not a very cheerful post, but I just got really upset after speaking to her. Feeling impotent again. I will definately pass on your messages to her that, I know, will definately cheer her up.

                    Thanks for your continuing support. I'm not able to make much of a contribution to others problems at the moment but I wish everyone the best.



                    • #11
                      Hi Tamara,

                      This is terrible

                      Just on the window situation, is it possible for them to give her a date for the bars to go up, and then she can arrange for the windows to be replaced that morning? Or is not not possible for them to fit the glass at the same time for an extra charge? The guy does seem a little unhelpful

                      Please, please make sure that she does not retaliate like that again. I know that it's not so easy when you are in that type of situation, but she is out-numbered and could be considered lucky that she got away with a gash to the head. Things could have been a lot worse if she'd been hit with something harder (I'm sure that I don't need to spell it out to you).

                      The situation over her having to replace the bike seems very odd to me (??) and I'm surprised that the police are encouraging this. I would definitely follow this up in your letter of complaint on her behalf.

                      I completely agree with you in that the priority should really be on getting your mother out of this situation once and for all. I know that if it was my own mother being threatened like this, I would be worried sick. From what you have told us, she seems to be getting virtually no support from the police, and IMO, even if the current trouble-makers are caught and dealt with, these don't sound like the sort of people that are going to give in, and there's no guarantee that this is not going to continue with a new group.

                      It's awful to think that she is being driving out of her own home, but your priority is to your mother's safety and quality of life.

                      I'm sure that other members will have much more experienced advice to offer you, and I wish you and your mother well

                      Blue Cow


                      • #12
                        Thanks for the tip Hazlenut - will definately check it out.

                        As for the gash-on-the-head incedent, Idid advise her under no circumstances was she to try anything like that again. As my husband put it - what the hell does she think she's doing going outside on her own in the first place, she could get killed!!

                        As for the police, I just found out that a call I made to them asking them to investigate some disturbance outside her home (I was on the phone to her at the time and could hear a racket going on - paper thin walls) was logged as an "indecent" call!*!?! The officer at the time asked me why she didnt just go outside and tell the !*!!*! to go away, I pointed out to him that that particular family had a restraining order and were not allowed to anywhere near the house, similarly my mum has a restraining order not to approach them either so if she went outside and spoke to them would she not be in breech of the order, to which the officer did not reply. I also asked them could they take this call seriously and not leave it too long before they arrived as the offenders would be long gone - basically he was not interested and you could hear it in his voice. I would like to know what they consider "indecent" as I was not rude and did not use any bad language in the slightest. He also told me she should just call 999 if there is a problem - however on one occasion she had to call three times in one day and on the third occasion she was told by one of the officers in the incident room not to call 999 again (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

                        What can a person with an ounce of sanity left after three years of being given the run around by the police, the housing etc do under these conditions. I'm surprised she hasn't pulled her hair out yet, but I'm sure that's coming.

                        Ranting again, but must get it out of my system. Thanks for listening.



                        • #13
                          Hi Tamara and mum

                          So sorry to hear that ths continues! In terms of a further legal help in the area, it might be worth a search on the CLS website


                          It's probably worth checking if any of them have people specialist in harassment cases. I assume your mum/yourself have already looked at the Protection from Harassment Act? Still, may be worth combing through it again...


                          I find it difficult to understand the police response to an injunction being broken...what's the point in having one if the police aren't enforcing it?! In terms of any disatisfaction with police response, has your mum put in any form of complaint? If she has already done so, and wishes to look at taking it further, the Police Complaint's Authority web-site may be also worth a look


                          In terms of seeing if she can gets some help with whether the council are doing all that they could do with the windows, check out on the Justask link to see if there is a housing advice/aid centre in your mum's area, and run the situation by them.

                          Best of luck



                          • #14
                            I do hate it when the police act as if it is the victims fault! :angry: :rant:


                            • #15
                              Hi Tamara,

                              I'm really saddened to hear that things have not improved for your mum I don't see why on earth she should have to buy a NEW bike for the little thug! I hope she is refusing to do so.

                              I can't remember from your previous posts if you have contacted your MP. If not I think that might be a wise move. I would also agree with Sapph about making a complaint to the Independent Police Complaints Commission. The police have handled all this very badly. Have you thought of getting in contact with Frank Field MP? He is really going to town to try and get legislation passed to deal with NFH. Even if he can't help you himself I'm sure he would give you the relevant advice. If you write to him send a copy to your own MP with a covering letter.

                              You can find out where to write at: or you could fax your MP using this site:

                              Good luck, I hope things get better for your mum very soon

                              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi