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    I have been reading messages on this board for some time now and have found them very comforting, knowing we are not alone.

    We moved into our house 2 years ago and for almost 6 months things were lovely, then our neighbours on one side moved and their house was bought by a young couple.

    The parties didn't start immediately and when they did, we tried to ignore them as we assumed it was for "housewarming". Also our daughter was only a few months old so we were so tired by about 9pm nothing would keep us awake.

    The parties started happening most weekends, music, shouting, screaming, running up and down the stairs - almost like having teenagers next door whose parents had gone out and left them!

    I would go round and ask them to switch the music down, which they did. But every Friday and Saturday was the same and we got really fed up. One weekend our daughter was very ill with an ear infection and we had just stopped her crying and got her off to sleep when the music started. I went round to ask them to keep it down but it was so loud they couldn't even hear the door. So I went round the back and asked them politely. I also said that my partner and I would be round the next day to speak to them. The next day they wouldn't answer their door so we wrote them a letter explaining that we had a young daughter and their music was not only disturbing us, but waking her at night and it wasn't fair. We also said that as we had asked numerous times with no result, next time we would call the police.

    Things settled down for a while but have started up again. The summer was as nightmare as they had frequent parties/BBQs with lots of people in the back garden until 1/2am and as our daughter sleeps in the back room it meant she was waking up. If they were sat in their garden just having a drink and a chat I wouldn't mind, but they would all be shouting, swearing etc. Now they seem to enjoy blaring their music out every night at around 7pm when we are trying to put our daughter to bed. My partner went round last week and asked for it to be switched down - the response? Sometimes we will, sometimes we won't -whatever that means.

    I just don't know where we stand as 7pm is not late for loud music, but it is disturbing our life, and I feel as though it is ruining mine.

    I dread weekends and when it gets to Friday I am a nervous wreck wondering what is going to happen. I am hyper sensitive to any noise from their side now and feel as though I am going to be sick whenever they start. I can't understand why they don't go out on Saturday nights - I know that's what we used to do when we were their age.... They must be so noisy as our houses are Victorian with thick walls. We never hear our neighbours the other side, and never heard the people who lived there before.

    I know some people have had things a lot worse, so I feel as though I am whinging a little bit, but I need to talk to people who understand.

    Thanks for reading - sorry it's a bit long! I honestly feel as though I am going round the bend, especially as it's Saturday.


  • #2
    hi Eeejay,

    welcome to the forum,

    what a night mare problem, not only the noise but the fact their have no consideration of the fact you have a small child.

    firstly I need to say that your problem is not small, here we believe that any problem no matter the size is a problem.

    you are a having a us thats all we need to know.

    noise can seep into your life, dont be fobbed off by the 11pm rule, that is for reasonable noise and what you are describing is anything but reasonable

    please contact your local environmental health team, you will find them listed in your council services.

    explain to them about the noise and ask for their help.

    in the meantime start writing it all down

    you will find some blank noise logs on the main site here is the link


    make sure you time, date and say how it effected you

    the EHO will ask you to do this so get a head start on them.

    this is the best place to start

    from what you have said it sounds like they wouldnt be intrested in mediation, but it could be something you could look at anyway

    please come back when ever you want, we are good listeners and we know how it feels

    but from now on please do not talk to them or retailate in any way or form, no matter how tempting it might seem.

    your NFHs sound like they would enjoy a good battle of the wits so dont give it to them!

    good luck and let us know how things progress


    • #3
      Hi Eejay and welcome to the forum

      Firstly, you are NOT whinging. You have a valid complaint and it is affecting your well being. It's not a lot to ask people to be considerate of their neighbours. I don't know why people have to have music blasting so loud they can't even hear a door bell or a knock on the door!

      Up until earlier this year I had rarely had any complaints about my next door neighbours but then a young man was left alone in the house next door for six weeks and he had his friends over. They'd party until 3 or 4 in the morning so I have had a little taste of what you are going through and it isn't very nice.

      There's nothing I can add to advice Beth has already given, i.e. contact the EHO and keep a diary of the noise incidents. I do however extend my sympathy I hope the EHO can help you, maybe give your NFH a bit of a fright. Good luck

      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


      • #4
        Hi Eejay and welcome

        You are not whinging - noise nuisance is an awful thing to have to endure. It wears you out completely. These new occupants next door are obviously loud as you couldn't hear the previous ones.

        They are being totally inconsiderate and unreasonable and you must follow this up with the Environmental Health department, as Beth has suggested.

        Please check out the Self-Help Articles here

        Self Help Article Index

        Look at the noise nuisance and coping ones in particular.

        I'm sure you'll get lots of advice and support from all the members here. We know what you're going through and therefore can completely empathise with your situaiton.

        Take care and keep us posted with how things are.



        • #5

          this is not a small problem - and it's one you must sort before the health of yourself and family is affected.

          Your neighbours sound incredibly ignorant and ignorant, inconsiderate people like them make your classic nfh. Your story sounds so horrible familiar. The bit about the parties in the garden made my blood run cold. So so like our problem.

          It's really important that you do all you can to ensure that this remains as a noise problem and nothing else. You have tried reasoning directly with them to no effect. Any more attempts could provoke them into other forms of horrible behaviour which will make the whole situation 10 times worse.

          You must, from now on, ignore them no matter what they do. It's not easy and takes steely determination, but it can be done. We didn't think we could do it but we did and it made such a difference.

          Let the people with the correct powers do their bit. Remember that noise nuisance, if proven, is a criminal offence and the EHO have the legal powers to deal with this. Contact them and get the initial letter sent. Some EHO will do this prior to any diary sheets being produced. This warning letter alone may encourage them to lower the noise.

          Keep coming back here. You will get unbelievable support, encouragement and great advice. Take the advice, follow the advice and you will come out on top. It may take a while, you may have good days and bad days but you will get there.

          Sorry - going on a bit. We were in the same position as you 4 months ago and it makes me so damned mad to hear what you are going through. :angry:

          Take care.

          "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"


          • #6
            Hi Eejay,

            Welcome! But sorry you had to find us .

            I think the others have given you great advice already which I hope you will find useful.

            I can't add anymore, but just wanted to give my support and echo that you are not whingeing - you have a horrible situation and I am not surprised it is getting you down.

            Now you are here though, I hope you will find the stength to take control of this situation!

            As others have said, please do not be tempted to retaliate in anyway with them - don't given them any ammunition cos you are in the right and they are ignorant, selfish and loathsome and completely in the wrong. :frown:

            Take care and keep us posted!




            • #7
              Eejay, I can sympathise with you totally. In our old house we had a guy in his 30s live next door. Every Friday and Saturday from about 6pm he would play loud music whilst he got ready. The walls between the houses were thin, plasterboard and breezeblock so you can imagine how loud it was. Then he would return home at about 2 am and play more music but a little quieter whilst he saw to his new conquest!

              Sunday he would play loud music for about 3 hours whilst he got ready and then came home about midnight to play some more. We would dread hearing a taxi pull up outside as we knew it would mean music. We were also very aware of any noise from nextdoor in case it heralded loud music.

              He eventually decided to rent his house out and yes you guessed it........ every tenant he had apart from one whilst we lived there liked loud music and partying. In the end the boom in house prices enabled us to move. Live in a house with quiet neighbours now and thick walls.

              My only advice would be to move but I realise that not everyone wants to or is able to.

              Best of luck and you know you're not alone in your suffering


              • #8
                Hi Eeejay and welcome,

                I can see why you are so frustrated by your neighbours :rant: enough really is enough. They are being completely mindless of the fact that you have a little girl to look out for, and what the heck does "sometimes we will" etc etc mean, how absurd :blink:

                Beth has given you some great advice, I would definitely follow it.

                A thought about your little girl being woken up, playing music quietly in the background whilst she's falling off may help (we have the TV on quietly for my son). It just helps taking the edge off any sudden noises that can startle them to waken (and when that happens, your in for the duration!).

                By the way, you are not whinging one bit. NFH can make you feel very isolated and paranoid. Sharing a problem (even in cyberspace!) is a great way of unburdening some of the frustration :badmood: These people can't be allowed to continue to persecute you in this way, so good luck and come back and let us know how things are going.


                Take care


                • #9
                  Hi Eejay, and glad you've found the Forum a useful place to visit

                  Very sorry to hear you are suffering this noise pollution, and you certainly should not have to put up with it. In case you haven't seen it there is info on the law and noise


                  Do pursue logging all noise incidents, and contact E.H. Can you record the noise to give E.H. a flavour of what it is like?

                  Good luck in dealing with this, and do come back and let us know how things are going




                  • #10
                    Thanks for all the replies and advice, it is so nice to know I'm not alone.

                    Someone said that having a NFH can make you feel isolated and paranoid - that sums up how I feel exactly.

                    Last night *he* was playing his music at around 6pm just loud enough for us to hear it and I got into a bit of a state.

                    I am a laid back tolerant person, but even the slightest noise from their house annoys me and makes me feel panicky - is this the norm?

                    If I see them in the garden, even though they would be quite happy to ignore me I still try and be pleasant and say hello etc, should I start ignoring them now? What does everyone/anyone think?

                    We have recently had our house valued with a view to move but unfortunately as I only work Part-Time now we can't stretch to a bigger mortgage. I have even considered renting our house out and renting somewhere else - maybe I could get the Tenants from Hell to pay back my NFH......Mmmmmmmmmm!

                    Thanks again,



                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Eeejay@Oct 14 2003, 1:15 PM

                      I am a laid back tolerant person, but even the slightest noise from their house annoys me and makes me feel panicky - is this the norm?

                      If I see them in the garden, even though they would be quite happy to ignore me I still try and be pleasant and say hello etc, should I start ignoring them now? What does everyone/anyone think?
                      Hi eeejay

                      Yes, don't worry your feelings are quite common: sicky feelings, anxiety, sleeplessness, internalised anger, despair, not knowing what to do for the best...I could go on.

                      But, you have found us now, and you know you're not alone.

                      Regarding ignoring your neighbours, if they don't speak to you, I wouldn't bother saying hello. If they initiate a polite "hello" in your direction, then I'd probably respond. (That's just my view. )


                      • #12
                        hey Eeejay

                        yep, its the norm...the feelings are there because you are expecting it to get louder. it does get easier after a while, after they have gone or you have gone, but its still hard.

                        the mental damage it does to us victims is amazing, even now, the slightest noise from out side my home can get my heart pumping.

                        in the summer the icecream vans drove me potty, and now its fireworks.....I went to my neices wedding in August and was worried that the disco was too loud for the people living near by!!

                        it turned out that it was ok as they had all been invited! :lol:

                        you start to think about noise more, and in doing that you hear more noise.

                        you are not mad I promise you, just very sensitive!!


                        • #13
                          Hi Eeejay,

                          You can't really blame yourself for being so sensitised to any noise; it's just your nerves reacting and would happen to anyone in your situation :sad:

                          As far as speaking to them is concerned, I wouldn't worry too much. If you make eye contact, then an acknowledgement is just polite, but I wouldn't go out of my way

                          Take care

                          Blue Cow


                          • #14
                            Hi Eeejay

                            It's really not at all surprising that you're sensitive to all the noise, and that the mere start of it can induce feelings of physical upset! :badmood:

                            I think that if they ignore you, do the same. If they acknowledge you in a civil manner, do the same. Friendly just doesn't look on the cards, but I would avoid antagonism for as long as possible.

                            Do keep logging everything/collecting evidence. The more you get the better. Time to contact E.H.O., I wonder?

                            Best of luck