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  • My story

    I moved into my small flat in a Cornish town in 1997. It is the middle of three flats in a converted cottage. My downstairs neighbours (very nice) use their flat as a second home. In 1998 a new woman 'G**** P****' bought and moved into the upstairs flat. She is an alcoholic ex-actress aged about 64. She has a family who have plenty of money and media connections. Her husband pays money into her account every month and pays her debts. The problems for me have been legion:- leaking into my flat on a regular basis (water/urine), noise from her drunkenly crashing to floor in middle of night to endless alcoholic friends with dogs trailing in and out, partying, fighting, shouting in the street, smells of urine and excrement coming from her flat, radio left on night and day, rats, bluebottlesand fleas also taking up residence with her and affecting me in some way. There's so much more, but I'm sure you get the picture.

    In 2001, unable to sleep most nights, I very reluctantly moved out. I had tried to get help from Environmental Health, police, MP, Town Councillors, Social Services, solicitor, her daughters and brother. Only EH have been of help and they seem limited in what they can do e.g. send a letter asking her to get plumbing fixed.

    I let my flat for 3 months in summer 2002, and although there were complaints it was ok. Then I put in a long term tenant first telling her of the problems. She said she was not worried about it, but after 2 months she gave in her notice. Couldn't blame her.

    The flat had been rebooked for summer's a beautiful flat, but it has been a nightmare with complaints every week more or less, about noise and leaks. The letting agency won't take it on any more. It has been up for sale for three months, but I have to disclose any neighbour problems so any potential buyer withdraws. I need money from it to pay mortgage on my new property. I can't live in it, let it or sell it. Any ideas?

    I'm not on bad terms with G**** P***. She is a sad woman whose brain is addled by drink. She is vulnerable and prey to men and women who see her as an easy source of money and a roof. But I can't reason with her. She forgets what's been said minutes later. Of course I get furious, frustrated, desperate and despairing, but I try to stand my ground without retaliating. It's very hard at times.

  • #2
    She forgets what's been said minutes later.

    Perhaps if she is incapable of looking after herself, the husband should consider putting her in a home? Have you written to him outlining your concerns - perhaps couch it in terms of a worried neighbour, afraid she may do herself some harm?

    Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"

    Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"

    Howard:"I know...of you"

    Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

    Lovely lady with the eye

    Lovely lady with the eye

    You've only got one but it's a good one

    Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

    coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

    Yeah! I'm in a band..."


    • #3
      Thanks FF. I have tried writing to him in that way. He didn't reply. I once spoke to him on the phone, inadvertantly, when I was trying to speak to his daughter and he told me to see my lawyer as G**** P was an independant person. Basically doesn't want to know. Very arrogant and dismissive.

      The daughters (in their 20's) did speak to me at one timeand talked about moving her, but they now don't answer my letters.

      It feels completely hopeless. JE


      • #4
        Oh Jane Eyre,

        Welcome to the Forum I hope you will feel better for finding us .

        I do feel so bad for you :sad: .

        Alcoholics are sooo difficult for the ''authorities'' to deal with. Many ''authorities'' just don't even want to deal with them because they know how blimmin' tricky cases like these are .

        It's good that you are on good terms with her, at least.

        It really sounds as if she needs a daily visit from a social worker/alcohol support worker if there's such a facility in your region so that they can keep an eye on her - at the very least.

        I would say that for her own benefit she should consider moving into sheltered accommodation with 24 hr warden service - is there any way that idea could be put into her/her family's head? They seem to have no probs witht he finances so there should be an option there. They could approach the Council and get her on the Council's waiting list too.

        She really can't carry on the way she is - her family must realise that. Even if she was rehabilitated tomorrow she would find it almost impossible to shake the hangers-on off. The pressure to drink again would be unbearable and she would more than definitley succumb again. :sad:

        It really requires a fresh start elsewhere as it's quite amazing how these types seem to always gravitate around the same old 'haunts'. She will also need watching, to be sure she's managing her tenancy/accommodation OK too.

        She doesn't sound like a 'bad' person, more one to be pitied although when you are affected day in, day out, it's hard to feel anything but anger and frustration with her. :sad:

        I think that if she has the will to want to sort her problem out, she would accept that she needs to move to more suitable accommodation. She can't do this on her own though, so if you could enlist the assistance of her relatives and social work, I am confident that things could get moving for you. You must spell out them that fact that it has not only affected your right to live in peace, but now has financial implications - which you could atrtempt to recover from her/her family if you saw fit.

        It will be really difficult and need the most amount of diplomacy, but you can do it.

        You'll then be able to take stock of your situation and decide whether you really want to sell up or keep the property on after all. :unsure:

        Let us know how you are getting on, visit us often - even if it's just for a rant .

        Best Wishes


        PS just saw your latest post - seems like you should have a word with Social Work or even the Police if the family are ignoring you.


        • #5
          Hi Jane sorry to hear of your plight.

          You might like to notify Age Concern...its dreadful that her family are basically leaving her to it. she sounds very vulnerable at the end of the day and probably needs some kind of care. I think Age Concern can provide some kind of support and might even contact the relatives.

          i was wondering also about the smells, can you take this up with EHO? it sounds awful if urine is leaking into your property, that simply cant be allowed to continue.

          I decree today that life

          Is simply taking and not giving

          England is mine - it owes me a living

          But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

          Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr

          Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno

          I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar

          "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson

          The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward

          An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter

          Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron

          Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb

          There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux

          Carpe Diem

          Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne


          • #6
            Hi JE and welcome to the Forum

            So, you have an aging, alcoholic eccentric living upstairs? :unsure: :huh: Which has put you in a really difficult position regarding your property - I suppose all you can do is sell at a really low price to get rid and move on. Don't know whether that's possible for you or not though financially.

            I would suggest that you do try to engage Social Services, to see if they can provide some support to this neighbour. They need to be looking at carrying out an assessment of her needs under section 47 NHS & Community Care Act 1990.

            From what you've said, you aren't really going to get anywhere talking or writing to this woman, any communciation would have to go through her family. Maybe try again writing to them reinforcing your concerns about her behaviour and the risk she is posing to herself?

            Let us know how you're getting on.


            • #7
              Thanks all of you, FF, Annabel, Mazza and Hollygolightly, for your support and ideas. It's good to have people look at/hear the story with fresh eyes/ears.

              I do know from reading other stories that mine could be worse, although when it's happening to you, you feel dreadfully sorry for yourself!

              I'm so so pleased to have found this site. For a long time I thought it would be a good idea and then by chance today I found it. Brilliant. JE


              • #8
                Hi Again

                I am very glad that you are pleased to have found us!

                I think nearly all of us have found relief by finding the Forums - it can be a real help just to know that there are others out there who are interested and who do care.

                Please keep us updated when you can




                • #9
                  Hi Jane and welcome

                  I've come late to your story and I can see other members have given you some good advice. All I can do is offer sympathy. You story is sad in many ways

                  I don't mean to be harsh but have you consulted a solicitor? Although I feel very sorry for the lady she is affecting your enjoyment of your property and also possibly lowering its value.

                  Yes she needs help, but that is not your responsibility other than as a concerned neighbour. I don't know much about alcoholism but it seems that her family are not prepared to really get involved in her rehabilitation (if that is possible), which is another sad aspect to the story.

                  Whatever you decide to do, good luck. If you ever need to vent your spleen we have a very good ranters folder

                  "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                  • #10
                    Hi Jane, and a belated welcome

                    This really is a difficult situation.....some action would be easier if she was a tenant.

                    Holly makes a good point about assessment of need under the NHS and Community Care Act. I wonder how safe she is, living alone, and how able to fend for herself. Doesn't sound a great life for her, but it's also having a negative effect on your life!

                    Good luck with whatever you decide to do here;and do let us know how things are going