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  • domestic

    it is a long story, because it has been going on for years and we feel we are at the end of our tether.

    our neighbours in their own right are really lovely people and have some problems and we feel if we complain yet again ( we have done several times) that we will only add to their problems, but it is getting us down.

    the noise is not all the time mainly when we get in at night around tea time until about 8.30 and then in the mornings waking us up any time from 6.30 onwards.

    since they altered their bedroom around we can hear every conversation and all the shouting and crying of the children . they have two and i know they are having problems with the behaviour of one of them.

    i would not mind but our bed is over the other side of the bedroom! and we can still hear them! it is as though they are in the same room!

    then at night and in the day the little boy runs up and down the length of the room downstairs which is a through room, they shout for him to stop but it doesn't. all we want to do is sit down and chill at night.

    so you see we do not have it 24/7 but we do have it everyday

    i do not want to stop talking to them and i seem to be always complaining to them , i have also said if they hear us to let us know but they say they do not hear us.

    i am open to any suggestions, as we do not know where to turn , we own our own home and have lived here 26yrs and never had it like this before :sad:

    thanks mer

  • #2
    Welcome to the forum mer, glad you found us



    I would say, that even if your neighbours have problems, we all do from time to time but it doesn't give us the right to inflict them/noise on others. Yes, they may even be likeable people, but unfortunately you cannot be expected to live with unacceptable noise just because of their problems. It makes you feel ill and affects all areas of your life.



    You have a right to enjoy your own home, not worry about going back or fear the times approaching that your neighbours will probably make noise.



    You need to start recording down on a diary log each time you're disturbed - it's a little tedious, but very important thing to do to gather evidence.



    Blank Log sheets are available from here:



    http://www.nfh.org.uk/resources/index.php



    We also have a Noise Help Article which is pretty comprehensive, available here:



    http://www.nfh.org.uk/resources/Arti...oise/index.php



    Do your neighbours own, rent, etc? Have you made them aware that their noise is bothering you and you can hear them? (They may stop if they feel embarassed?) - If so, what was the reaction? have you written to them, contacted the EH Dept, etc?



    Sorry about all the questions, these are a few really to ascertain your current situation



    :nfh1:

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Mer and welcome



      You have obviously been very patient with your neighbours



      There is something you can do to make life a little easier. If you go to the 'Ask For Help Here forum on the main page, there is a post on the 2nd page with a possible solution to your problem NOISE INSULATION.



      The others will be along soon and will probably be able to help you more...sorry I don't know how attach the link do that you can go straight there, but someone else might do it for you



      Good Luck :clover:



      Tri

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi



        What a bizarre situation - nice neighbours from hell. Not being flippant, just that it seems it could be more difficult to deal with.



        Try the noise insulation stuff as suggested by Tri. It may solve your problem without possibly falling out with neighbour and making things worse.



        Take care.
        "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi Mer



          I hope you have found the replies useful already.



          Tristar has said what I was going to say - look at providing extra sound insulation to your adjoining walls at least - it may make the room a tiny bit smaller, but John S. swears it's worth it



          There is a thread about this and it says about sound insulation blocks available from Wickes (although other companies prob. do similar!). Apparently it's quite cheap to do too .



          Otherwise, I can only suggest that maybe some background, chilling music or a radio might help to block out some of the sound. I would be inclined to set my radio really early, but quite quiet so as it didn't particularly disturb me, but could block out the noise.



          It does seem a shame as you seem to be very sensitive to your neighbours and it would be a pity if you had to go down the environmental health route.



          I hope you can work something out soon.



          Mazza

          :daisy:

          Comment


          • #6
            My Webpage



            This is the link i think!



            Not sure why it says My Webpage but it takes you to noise insulation bit!
            "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"

            Comment


            • #7
              hi and welcome!



              sorry to hear this, what an awkward situation to be in!!



              check out the noise articles, you may find them helpful.



              in such a situation as yours you can really do one of two things



              * stay friends and put up with the noise



              * or confront your neighbours and explain what you can hear through the walls



              option two will either work out or it wont, thats the choice you have to make



              do you want to stay freinds with your neighbour more than you want peace and quiet?



              your neighour if reasonable may take on your concerns and you will stay freinds!



              really you need to make the decision of what to do, pros and cons :huh:



              good luck with what ever you choose and please come back often to let us know how it goes

              Comment


              • #8
                thanks everyone! all your replies have given me food for thought and will look into the insulation slabs. and yes you are right maybe i should give them more details about what we can hear and the embrassessment of it might make them think twice! oh well the weekend is here, always worse cos they are not at work!

                i will keep you all posted thankyou so much for listening mer

                Comment


                • #9
                  going back to the little boy, yes they know they have a problem with them because i have spoken to them and his mum is quite open about the fact that he is behaving badly because they have a new baby. i feel i cannot interfer too much and hopefully they are seeing someone about it . he is quite aggressive towards his new sister and they know it, but they end up shouting at him and i feel this is not the best way but hey! they he is not my child. i just feel sick when i have to go round and complain, and my husbands temper is getting very short. they own the house. i will keep you posted mer

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi again



                    I think you are going about this in the right way.



                    It sounds like they are going through a rough patch at the moment - new babies wreak havoc and sometimes it can take ages to settle into the new family dynamics.



                    It really doesn't sound like it would be worth falling out over and hopefully it won't come to this.



                    The noise could actually settle sooner than you think once they get a routine etablished.



                    I'd definitely try the quiet background music etc for now, but if things escalate, then obviously tougher measures would need to be considered and that's where other members here who've had noise problems can really help!



                    Mazza

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Mer and welcome



                      There's not a lot I can add to the advice already give you by other members so I'll offer you my sympathy instead.



                      It can't be much fun (understatement) putting up with all that noise and I suppose it does make it more difficult as your neighbours are basically nice people. But they should be made aware of the effect they and their children are having on your quality of life.



                      Good luck with the sound insulation, John has a lot of positive things to say about it



                      Misty
                      "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi Mer



                        As you've said, it's tricky. You don't want to "rock the boat" with your neighbour, but your quality of life is suffering because of it :sad:



                        If your neighbours are okay people, then I wouldn't have thought saying something would hurt, especially if it is said in a considerate and accepting way. I don't want to play devil's advocate, but you've said that you feel that you're always complaining to them of late, well it may be worth sitting down and working out how you can bring up the subject without sounding like you're having a moan (so to speak??). If someone feels like they are being criticised, then they will automatically go on the defensive, and this is how problems will start (and the reaction will be that much worse if they think you are blaming their son).



                        since they altered their bedroom around we can hear every conversation and all the shouting


                        Just out of interest, what exactly have they altered? Is it just a question of acoustics?



                        Background noise in the evening is a very good way of covering up noise. We had two neighbours that used to scream at each other (some NFH have very good lungs!) and it's amazing how calming some background music or the TV on low can be (it also stops you having to listen to all the gory details :unsure: ). As you say, the trouble is that your tolerance levels become so much lower as you become sensitised towards the noise.



                        :badmood:



                        The only other advice / hope that I can offer is that if this problem is mainly because of their son reacting badly to his sister, then it will probably calm down as they get older. The question is, can you wait? It's your home and your life, and you have to do what's right for you.



                        Good luck



                        Blue Cow

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          good idea blue cow!



                          background noise or white noise in your own home really does work, it takes the edge off the unwanted noise.



                          some members use fans or radios



                          we used to use the tv in the bedfroom just on a low volume so we could just hear it, it used to help us get to sleep.



                          relaxation music is also great for this, two jobs at once!!



                          and if its your noise, quietly of course, then you have control over it. that makes a big difference to your life and sanity!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            This may be a little sneaky but what if you babysat for them one night, had the children at your house, then they would perhaps realise just what it sounds like.



                            It really is a sticky one, sorry not to be of much use, children well its ongoing, one phase to another.



                            Good luck anyway

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi mer and welcome to the Forum



                              I'd just like to support one of Beth's views on your current problem. At the end of the day, it is only you and your family who can decide what to do about this.



                              You have two choices:



                              - Put up with it as it is (find ways of coping with it), or

                              - Speak to your neighbours about it



                              I hope that the suggestions made by other members will be helpful for you. Good luck with it and please let us know how you're getting on.



                              Holly

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