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  • died for nothing

    :angry: :cry:

    hi all, this is the first time i came on here, my name is gail and i really need some help and support !!!

    6 weeks ago my dad died of a heart attack,after another row with his next door neighbour,

    this had been going on for months,they live in a terraced street with no residents parking,this neighbour was the type to want to park his car out side his gate,regardless that his bumpper was touching my dads car and he had 6 feet of space behind him,

    this man is in his 40s and have lived next door to my mum and dad for over 20 years and have 2 grown up children,

    they have always kept themselves to themselves,though spoke now and again,

    the day it happend he parked his car again but bumped my dads car, not the first time this has happend,

    at the time my dad was watching my 8 year old daughter playing in the street while talking to his friend who lived the other side of him,

    after the car was bumped my dad asked him why did he bump his cr again ??

    the neighbour screemed in my fathers face "move your car up " over and over and over again,then his wife started on my mother screaming why dont you p### off,in the end a neighbour ran and got my dads sister who lives a street away because she was worried because my dad had angina,

    when my antie came the agument was nearly over,and my dad told my mum to go and put the kettle on and dont get involed,

    before the kettle bolied my daughter who is 8 came running into the house screeming

    grampa is on the floor !!!

    it was too late the friends that my dad had been talking too was giving him cpr but nothng was working,

    i can still hear the trerror in my mums voice when she phoned me to say come quikly its your father, i only live in the street in frount of them, when i got they i new that my dad had gone,the whole street was out crying and shouthing at the house screeming are you happy now !! and what did they do,,,close the curtains,,,,,

    he was taken to the hospital but the doctor said that he was dead before he hit the ground, and also he said that they had to phone the police because there had been a row,

    this happend at 4pm on the 17th aug at 2.30 am the police came inteveiwed my mum,taped of the cars and left a policeman there all night.

    after 3 days of interveiwing the street and them next door nothing was done,

    he is still parking his car bumpper to bumper with my dads car,and now they are making my mums life hell,grinning at her,telling her to take them to court to prove it,calling her a b*tch ect

    i have already lost my dad i dont want to lose my mum as well.......

    my dad was 64 yers old when he died, he was going to go on hoildays in the september,and i am getting married in 7 weeks,,,,,,,,,,

    theses people have taken away every thing,my mum is a shell,crying all the time,my daughter cannot talk about it because it happend in frount of her,,,,,,

    i really need advice,,,,,,,is there some thing that we can do to get these people to pay for what they have done ???

    i am frighten that my mum will do something to herself,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,please help me !!!

    my dad was the most wonderful man, i know everone says tha about their dad but my dad was a kind, sweet man who didnt like to shout, he would not go anywhere without a shirt and tie,even to the beach,

    he lived for his grand children,who is 8 and 6 my son had autsum,and i am a only child,he was a family man who spent his life making us happy,

    he and my mum was married 40 years, in his furnrel there was over 90 people most ws th peopl that my dad spoke to every day, he was like that everyone knew hishe was he life and soul of the street,even the childen in the street caled him grampa,,,,

    i know that it is nothing i can do to bring him back, but i dont want him to have died for nothing..........

    thank you or listening gail xx

  • #2
    Oh Gail

    What a terrible story. I'm really so sorry to hear about your Dad. He sounds like he was a wonderful father and granddad and to have lost him in such a sudden way must have been indescribable.

    I can't even begin to imagine what your poor mother is going through right now. These "people" can't possible be human. How they can live with themselves over what they have done is beyond me. And then to be tormenting your mum like this is unbelievable.

    The way this has made me feel really is unprintable :rant: These people should be so sorry and ashamed of themselves, and insead they are evil and vicious. They should be begging for forgiveness, and instead they are taunting and intimidating your mother at a time when she needs understanding and friends.

    Have the police said why they haven't taken things further? This doesn't sound at all right to me. And there is no way that they should be allowing this behaviour to continue towards your mum.

    I really don't have much experience in this field, and I am sure that you will soon be getting a lot of very good advice from other members.

    I just wanted to send you my deepest condolences for what you and your family have been through (and are going through).

    Take care

    Blue Cow


    • #3

      My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

      I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

      It is so unbelievable that someone you don't even

      know (ie a neighbour) can have such awful impacts

      on a family by causing the death of a beloved family member.

      I will say a prayer for your Dad. I hope he is

      in a beautiful place now and I am sure you will

      feel his presence in spirit when you get married.

      Be brave and keep going with your life and plans.

      I am sure its what your Dad would have wanted.

      Deepest symathies,



      • #4
        Hi Gail, we spoke in chat, last night

        My heart went out to you when you told us what happened. NFH are bad enough but when a loved one dies because of interaction with NFH then that just adds a whole new dimension to the grief

        It is perfectly understandable that you blame your NFH for your dad's death and I'm sure the argument was a contributory factor. The law is strange. If you hit somebody, not hard, and they have an 'egg shell' skull and because of the blow they die then you could be charged with manslaughter. But if somebody has a weakened heart and because of an argument they have a heart attack then it seems it's classed as natural causes. Whether we like it or not (and I'm sure most don't like it), that is the law. So sadly I don't think there is anything you can do

        You must not think that your dad 'died for nothing'. I'm sure that wherever he is he is watching over you and your mum and your children. From what you have told us he touched a lot of people in his life and was loved and respected by them all. This is the picture you must keep in your mind. I cannot speak for your Dad but if he was anything like mine he would want you all to be happy and make him proud

        Your NFH are acting like sick monsters by continuing to attack your mother. Her grief is still raw, she has lost her life partner and soul mate and she will need time and peace to come to terms with what has happened. Have you contacted your local neighbourhood police officer? Maybe he could have a word with NFH and tell them to lay off. If they are harassing your mother ask him about the Protection from Harassment Act 1997.

        I wish there was more I could say or do to help you and your mum Have you contacted your GP to ask for help with your children? There may be some counselling that they could have to help them through all this. I'm afraid most of the burden will fall on your shoulders but are there any other family members or friends you can call on to help you, support you?

        Whatever happens, you and your mother should hold your heads high, you are better than NFH, they are not worth a moment of your time. Let them get on with their miserable lives because I truly believe that one day they will pay for what they are putting your family through.

        Take care, try to be strong and keep the good memories of your Dad to the fore

        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


        • #5
          Dear Gail,

          I'm so sorry for your loss. Please remember that when you are at your lowest, the only way to go is up. Take strength from your family and keep going.

          Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"

          Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"

          Howard:"I know...of you"

          Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

          Lovely lady with the eye

          Lovely lady with the eye

          You've only got one but it's a good one

          Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

          coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

          Yeah! I'm in a band..."


          • #6
            Hello Gail

            What a dreadful story you have to tell :cry:

            It's a real shame, but what Misty has said about the 'eggshell rule' is right and the law sometimes is the hardest thing to understand.

            I'm so sorry that your Dad has died over this most stupid behaviour and my heart goes out to you. Your Mum sounds as though she is really in need of your support too.

            Stay strong and support each other and help each other get through this together. I'm sorry that I can't say anymore, but I'm sure the others will be along soon.

            Take care



            • #7
              Welcome Gail, I'm glad you made it to the board after our intitial contact Lots of great advice already from members and I agree with Misty, if you can get protection and action to help protect you from harassment and bullying, this could be very useful in your situation.

              We have a range of self help articles here that will be useful to you in your situation too:


              Come back often, you'll find a lot of experience, help and support here



              • #8

                Th evil cretins, I am so disgusted, I cannot even convey with typing my utter disgust with those monsters. :angry:

                How utterly pathetic and pedantic, to be so obsessed with parking right outside your house to this degree? It's beyond me. :badmood:

                I am so sorry to hear your story.

                I can totally understand that you CAN actually be killed by NFH behaviour. I won't go into my story, but my husband actually collapsed in agony one day when we received a summons and I can tell you, the pain was real and it was extremely scarey :cry: .

                Is your mum an owner? Or is she a Council/Housing a**'n tenant?

                Just wondering if she wants to move away - if she is a tenant of a social landlord, she should see her housing officer and explain her circumstances - they should be very sympathetic in this case.

                The only other thing I can think of is to keep a log of every single thing that these beasts are doing -they can surely be pursued under the Protection from Harassment Act.

                If you are able to, could you tell us why the police did nothing? It was surely a breach of the peace at the very least??

                I am so sorry I can't really offer much advice, just support.

                I hope that you feel a little bit better just knowing that there are some people about who do care .

                Take care and visit us often




                • #9
                  My God Gail,

                  This is awful, I am so sorry for your loss.

                  This is the second time I have heard a similar story. I have a friend who has a neighbour dispute who's father also died of a heart attack after a row. The rest of the family are still enduring their neighbours senseless behavior. The heart attack was totally unexpected and he was in his 50's. The police didn't act on this either I'm sorry to say.

                  You must for your own sanity and the sanity of your family and friends let these evil pond life carry on with their reign of terror, they obviously know that your family are low and very sensitive at the moment and are using this to their advantage.

                  You need to ask the police to serve a harassment order on these people. In order to do this you need to be able to prove two events either by independent witness statements or photographic evidence. This is the only way they can take the NFH to court. Every time they harass you you must log it with the police and ask anybody who saw it to be prepared to be a witness. Ask to speak to an officer in charge and explain to him all the facts of the case. Their is probably nothing that can be proved to say that your fathers death was to do with them unfortunately, but you need to think of your mum and her quality of life living next door to them. Ask neighbours to be vigilant and keep an eye out for her, get a Dictaphone incase they come out and start, keep a camera to hand and CCTV if possible. A panic alarm to get attention from others around is an idea suggested to me in my circumstances.

                  Do they rent this house? if so contact the landlord.

                  I know you shouldn't have to go to these lengths but your lives will be so much better when you know you have done something, not to get even with them as that could never happen but to get the bas***** out.

                  I am in a similar situation with a harassment order at the moment, you will get there, persevere but don't let it take over your life. Oh and don't shout back at them, they will only use it against you and know that they are getting to you, just log all events with the police, more power to your elbow in court.

                  If the police won't do anything, consider a solicitor or a complaint to the police authority, this is working for me at the moment after 2 long years of the police turning a blind eye.

                  My condolences again to you and your family, keep strong.... 'YOU CAN WIN!'

                  Good luck



                  • #10

                    I am really so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. You really need to be so strong now and support your Mum. Don't forget that you also need to be supported as does your youngster.

                    I can't really say any more now apart from take care of each other, be strong and don't let the nfh in any way further intrude on your lives and grief.

                    "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"


                    • #11

                      iike to thank everybody that have given my family and myself support an advice,

                      speak to you all soon

                      love gail


                      • #12
                        Hi gail and family and welcome

                        I was so sorry to hear about your recent loss and the circumstances in which it happened.

                        Your parents neighbours are truly pathetic. Blank them completely - make a note of anything they do from now on and provide it to the Police. I can only echo what everyone else has advised you.

                        Some peoples behaviour just makes me so angry - your parents nfh had no right to behave like he did :rant: .

                        Take care all of you :flowers: