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  • Physcotic female neighbour

    Hi everyone,

    I live in Dublin and my Family's life is being made a misery by the worst neighbours anyone could ever have. I just couldn't list all of the terrible things they have done mainly to my Wife when I am at work. But I feel I must describe the worst incident which has happened to date. After 3 years of calling my wife a Sl*t and a whore among other things whenever she passed thier house whilst taking our young son for a stroll. The abuse mostly done by the female nfh my wife decided to fight back one evening in July 2003 after the female nfh had called to our 4 year old son to ask him if he knew that his Mammy and Daddy were not married when he was born to which my wife took our son by the hand and tried to walk back to our house 4 doors away hoping she could just ignore nfh. But nfh was not happy with this so she shouted to my wife " thats right go on down with your 2 little bas*ards" and that was it my Wife was not going to let anyone talk about our children like this so she ran back up to nfh home and was in such a rage at the thought of anyone speaking to or about our children in this way that she was likely to do anything short of kill this nasty piece of work. The nfh ran inside her front door and grabbed a wooden swingball bat and met my Wife with a blow to the side of her head almost knocking her unconcious my wife grabbed nfh by her hair and gave her a good jerk before coming to her senses and running back to our 2 children whom she had left in our front garden. My wife went inside our house and as you can imagine was shaken with fear and shock at what had just happened. So she rang another neighbour for support who quickly came over to our house with another neighbour to support my wife as I was in work it was 7.45 p.m and I had just left to start my night shift. The nfh rang her husband who also works shift and told him that out of the blue my Wife had physically attacked her. He came home and knocked on our halldoor and my wife answered it thinking the worst thing that could happen was a lot of verbal abuse but boy was she wrong as the male nfh without saying a word dragged my wife out through our halldoor and into our porch where he beat her up pretty badly. My 2 young children where inside with our 2 supporting neighbours, who when they heard my wife's screams ran out and tried to pull the male nfh off from my wife who had adopted the fetal position as she was punched and kicked about her body. Eventually the husbands of the 2 supporting neighbours heard the screams from across the road and they ran over and pulled this animal from my wife and called the Garda. The garda said they had no officers available at the station at present and would send a patrol unit up to take a statement the following day this greatly upset my wife even further she felt that the authorities did not care enough about her assault to give her immediate assistance. In an uncanny way whilst I was at work I got a funny feeling that something was wrong at home and I rang just as my wife was about to ring me, to find her sobbing on the other end of the line as she tried to tell me what had happened. I was totally enraged and found it very hard to control my driving as I sped home to sort this animal out. Every light seemed to be red! when I got home there was about six neighbours in my house waiting to see me to try and persuade me not to go up to the n'sfh fearing that I would not be able to stop myself a 6 ft 17stone ex heavyweight boxer from killing this monster. They succeeded in getting me instead to go to the Garda station to insist on someone taking a statement immediately and hopefully arresting the nfh, this they did not do and said we would have to wait until the next day. Since then a statement has being taken from mywife and the four good neighbours who witnessed the assault take place, my wife was so badly brusied that she could hardly move we went to our G.P to have him check her out needless to say he was appalled to see what this animal had done to her as he has being her G.P since she was a little girl and knows what a lovely happy person my wife is. A file is being collated to send to the D.P.P for consideration but the abuse is still going on. It stopped for a while as we were full sure that the nfh thought that he would be arrested there and then, but when he wasn't, they obviously gained in confidence and his wife has resumed her verbal abuse of my wife when he is not around. We have learned that the department of social welfare have threatened to take thier 4 children into care if they dont stop fighting with thier neighbours in front of thier children but that doesn't seem to worry them(we are about the 5th family to be targeted). We fear that we will not get a court date against them and all of the restraint we have shown will be in vain, most blokes I know cannot believe that I haven't just sorted this guy myself, believe me I would love to but I would probably do him such damage that I would get a prison sentence and that is not what we want. We are good people who have being brought up to respect others as we which to be respected ourselves and to live in peace and harmony with our neighbours so as to create a strong community spirit in which to bring up our children in happiness. We are very lucky to have a network of neighbours about 8 families in all who look out for each other, we have xmas parties and summer outings for the children etc. We dont want to move and lose all that because of 2 nasties with mental problems.


  • #2
    hi Tony, and welcome to NFHiB

    This is absolutely horrendous! I'm not sure that anyone has much knowledge of the law in Eire here, but surely such an assault cannot evade the attention of the law there? :badmood:

    In terms of harassment, have a look at the following, maybe you can use this with the Garda, to get them to take some action ?

    You really need some knowledge of the law here, to push the garda to act, and protect your family from this abuse and harassment

    I think it may be useful to log every incident of nfh behaviour her. Are these neighbours tenants or do they own their property?

    I really hope you can find a way through this awful situation. Wishing you luck with this.




    • #3
      Hi Tony, i have the same problem as you, these people sink so low, to begin with i was angry (but thats what they want), i have had years of this, since i found this website i have gain valuable knowledge in dealing with this kind of thing and comfort in the fact that there are others who understand and give sound reasuring advice, keep a diary (its evidence) get CCTV installed (make sure you have a good quality picture and sound) witnesses and if you need the police phone 999 (or the equivelient) i found that i got a better response from the police. Report every thing that has happened and get the incident numbers, remember to use you head but not for butting. If you go and lump this bloke then the poice will arrest you! anyway 2 wrong do not make a right, i hope my advice helps, may the love of your family make you strong and peace be with you.


      • #4

        I could weep for you and your wife. It all sounds so disgustingly familiar - we got away without the physical violence though.

        You and your wife must forget any thoughts of physical violence towards these people. You must not sink to their level. You must make the Police/Garda do what they are paid to do. It will be difficult, but ignore them and show absolutely no reaction, not even looking at them - believe me, with willpower it can be done. You may feel useless, drained and run the gauntlet of so many emotions but you will get there.

        Above all, and I feel sure I do not really need to say this, stick together as a family and do not let yout little ones see how this may be affecting you. Hope the little ones are coping after seeing such violence against your wife.

        Take care all.

        Thinking of you.

        "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"


        • #5

          This sounds dreadful. My mouth kept opening and gasping as I read through your story .

          Your NFH certainly sounds to me to be very backward if all she's concerned with in her sad life is whether you were married when you had kids - for goodness' sake, this is the 21st century!!! Please pay no atention to that drivel.

          Please try to be patient. From what you say, the Garda seem to be dealing with it -allbeit slowly - so please don't crack now! You have done the right thing by not retaliating in any way .

          I think you can achieve a positive outcome - these 'people' sound like they are going to come to a sticky end soon, so hang on in there.

          Log every incident in the meantime. Is there a Police officer assigned to this case? Keep reporting it all to them. The more you contact them, the more they'll have to go on and the less likely it will be that they'll conveniently forget about you .

          Please let us know how you get on and don't forget to come here often when you need to vent steam you'd be amazed at the relief it can give you!


          :nfh1: :nfh1:


          • #6
            Hi Tony and welcome

            I was horrified by your story! I think we have the measure of your sc*m bag NFH. A stupid woman who goads other women and children and 'man' who thinks it's clever to beat up a woman? What an excellently matched pair of low lifes!!

            However I think you are being very wise in restraining yourself from going to sort out that particular coward! Leave it to the Garda, however slowly they may be acting. Have you thought of contacting your TD and asking him/her to look into why it is taking the Garda so long to act? It seems grossly unfair that your wife still has to walk a gauntlet of hate from a big mouthed, small brained excuse for a woman!

            Actually, I am horrified that the Garda didn't immediately come out and arrest that bully and his nasty spouse! They could have killed your wife! And for that woman to hit your wife with a wooden bat - It only takes an unlucky blow and you could have been a widower! :rant: I'm sorry, I'm just so angry for you! Do you have the means to get an injunction out against this pair to stop them from approaching your family?

            On the good side, it seems you have some good neighbours who will support you in a crisis. Please let us know how things progress and I hope your wife is feeling better and that your children have not been too badly affected, poor little things

            Take care

            "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


            • #7
              welcome to the forum Tony,

              your story is dreadful, I am so sorry you and your family have had to endure the attacks of this family.

              what kind of man beats and kicks a woman?? with children present at the time as well, it just shows what a nasty little bully this man is.

              you did the right thing by not returning the compliment, that is what they want, a war.....dont give it to them.

              I feel so sad that you have had to go through this, I hope you wife is now ok.

              you said this was in July, what have the garda done about it?

              did they arrest her for the attack?

              if not you need to find out why!!

              I am pleased you have good neighbours who can support you with this.

              plesae come back often and keep us updated with your NFH story, I hope some of our other Irish members will also be able to offer you some support and knowledge if the systems in place in Eire.

              Good luck to you and your family


              • #8
                On behalf of my wife and myself I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who have responded to my story.

                my wife is not too bad now although she is growing more and more impatient with the legal system it seems so slow.

                Our children seem fine I just hope there are no long lasting effects left on thier minds especially my 4 year old son as he had some kind of grasp of what had happened to his mammy he didnt actually see it but he could hear my wifes screams.

                we are convinced this whole thing boils down to jealously. They are jealous of our happiness and jealous of our home as they always pipe up whenever I do a bit of work on the house. I am currently building an extension and it seems to be driving them crazy which is rediculous, we are just down to earth people we are not show offs and we never hesitate to give others compliments on thier homes thier families thier happiness we like to see people being happy I feel it has a good knock on effect.

                I will come back on a regular basis now that I have started and would like to thank you all once again for your advice and kind words, they are deeply appreciated.



                • #9
                  Hi Tony and Family

                  You are obviously very decent people, no matter what NFH say. I'm glad that you have the support of your other neighbours, and they were there when you really needed them.

                  I could not believe what I was reading and my chin hit the floor several times. I think that you have hit the nail on the head when you say that these people are jealous of you. They obviously have a sc*mmy life and are trying to bring you down to their level :rant:

                  You have shown that you are better than they will ever be, by not retaliating the way they would have done, and have also shown great restraint. They were trying to upset you by being nasty to your wife, but showed just how low they are prepared to go, by picking on such young children. I really want to swear right now, and I really really hate people who can stoop this low. How dare they use your children to 'play' their stupid pathetic game :rant:

                  I don't blame your wife for going back to see her after doing that to your 4 year old, I probably would've done the same. But to do what those sc*m bags did just shows what sort of people they are...thank God for your other neighbours.

                  I'm glad that your wife is feeling a bit better now. You hold your heads high, do things legally, if you can, and as hard as it is try and continue the restraint you have already shown you are capable of.

                  My thoughts are with you all and willing you on.

                  Take care of yourselves and come back often to let us know how things are going



                  • #10

                    They are jealous of our happiness and jealous of our home

                    Join the club mate - jealousy seems to create monsters.

                    Good that you are finding support here. Keep coming back - you will need more support.

                    Take care.

                    "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"


                    • #11
                      Hi Tony (and family) and a big welcome to you all to the Forum

                      I am so sorry to hear what has been happening to you all. What a truly dreadful situation for you to be in.

                      Thank goodness you are a strong family and you have supportive neighbours around you. I hope that the Garda are taking some proactive action against this man and woman for the assaults on your wife. Have you considered instructing a Solicitor as well?

                      In an ideal world, what would you llike to happen? Do you want them to move away? If so, do you know whether they own or rent their home? If they rent, there may be other avenues that you could go down with their landlord.

                      Take good care of yourselves - please let us know how you're all getting on.



                      • #12
                        Hi Tony,

                        Sorry to hear of the horrors your family have been facing. I'd like to echo the supportive comments made by the other members and urge that you hang on in there and focus upon your loved ones.

                        Our nfh situation got to the stage of them (two psychotic 'butch' females attacking my gentle wife at our home). Unfortunately their cronies had dodgy police mates, the criminal justice system was not put into effect, and we ended up moving a mile away.

                        Injustice aside, moving got us our life back.

                        You can't really go on with this situation. Fight or flight time, I'd say. Why should you be driven out from an otherwise nice place? I hope that the criminal justice system works properly for you and that the vicious bullying thugs, child-abusers by account of what they force children to witness, end up behind bars.

                        Perhaps it may be posssible to get an injunction against them coming within a half-mile of your home, should they be found guilty.

                        My advice is not to be fobbed off, and to demand the proper protection of the law.

                        Good Luck


                        • #13
                          Jaw drops,

                          I find it hard to imagine what it must be like living near people who are prepared to do this sort of thing to others. I've not had experience of people just attacking someone else like that.

                          What sort of twisted man is this, that he would beat up a woman?

                          I have admiration for you restraining yourself from assualting him. I think I would have lost it if it were my wife.

                          Sorry if that seems out of character for me, but there is a difference between keeping calm and not prevoking a confrontation when things are only verbal, and protecting your family from assault.


                          (I just can't understand why people do this ... mayby I was lucky in being brought up in an area where violence wasn't an issue and people usually 'got along'. Having read some of the stories on these pages, there seem to be many people who use abuse,violence as a way of life ... it escapes me why)
                          Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"

                          Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"

                          Howard:"I know...of you"

                          Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

                          Lovely lady with the eye

                          Lovely lady with the eye

                          You've only got one but it's a good one

                          Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

                          coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

                          Yeah! I'm in a band..."


                          • #14
                            Hi Tony,

                            I am shocked and angered by your story, but not entirely surprised I'm afraid, I have had similar history to your wife and I know how she feels entirely. My regards to her. The police are hopeless in this situation I'm sorry to say but this is a clear harassment case, plain and simple. Speak to a higher ranking officer if you are getting no joy from the plebs on the ground floor. This is totally unacceptable and you and your family and neighbours should be able to live in a civilized area.

                            What a Bast**d hitting a woman. aggghhhh makes me so blo*dy angry. I recon my neighbours should be forced to live next door to yours so they could kill each other. There are a lot of NFH on this site who have experienced awful things but this is pure criminal, you see the more the police don't act the more the NFH think they can do what they like, but their day WILL come. Keep your values and don't fight back as this will only strengthen their case. I know you want to kick the S*** out of him and I don't blame you but this puts you on his level.

                            Record everything, get cameras, A Dictaphone, a loud panic alarm, witnesses log every event no matter how petty with the police and stick together with your good neighbours. Have a plan of action between you so you know what to do if anything should happen. Do you have a house alarm? if so a panic attack switch will alert the whole street.

                            Be vigilant as these sort of NFH are sneaky and will do things when there is nobody looking, or so they think. Ask your neighbours to keep an eye out for your wife and kids and keep a camera to hand so they can snap any evidence as it happens. CCTV if you can get it is a good idea but you need to be recording all the time as it's bound to kick off when the tape rewinds! sods law.

                            To go for harassment the police need to prove two events. They are supposed to serve a letter to the NFH but this is not always legally nessasary. Go and have a chat with your local bobbie and explain what you would like to be done. If they don't act threaten to put in a formal complaint to the authority, this may well kick them in to action, it worked for me.

                            Keep using this forum too as it becomes invaluable for advice and for letting off steam.

                            Keep your head high and be strong. :nfh1:

                            All the best.

                            Clareb :ban:


                            • #15
                              I am so sorry to hear your story, it makes the blood boil especially when children are involved. Your poor wife, what kind of man does that!!!! :angry:

                              It may just be me but it has surprised me how many of these people carry out these disgusting deeds and are still around to tell the tale, surely they must have met equally abhorant people in their time and if they haven't yet, well personaly I hope they do.

                              Be safe