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  • So fed up


    I'm new here! - I found this site whilst looking for help on what can be done about my neighbours from hell.

    I recently moved into rented accommodation with my husband just before we got married (we've now been here 6 months). We loved the flat as soon as we saw it and knew we had to move in - it was our first home together.

    Little did we know that we would be woken up at 4,5,6,7 in the mornings every day with loud music used as an 'alarm clock'.

    It's our neighbours upstairs who have three children, (youngest is 2) and they do cannabis, they let their children run around stomping as hard as possible all day EVERY DAY... when there's a perfectly good public garden outside.

    There music thuds through the floor.

    Until this morning, we had a little understanding - they had their music on which woke us up and then we would bang on the ceiling and they would reluctantly switch it off.

    This morning, I banged on the ceiling as usual and then they started banging back.

    I really don't know what to do. I am so fed up with this noise and my husband and I really wanted our first home to be peaceful and happy. Instead, we're both stressed and irritated all the time by our neighbours!!

    Plus their kids should be at school, but they seem to be in most of the day!

    Thanks and I'm sorry my first post has been such a moan!!! :badmood: :banghead:

  • #2
    Hi Angelfish, and welcome to the Forum And moan away...that's one of the reasons we're here!

    Sorry to hear you are enduring this persistant noise nuisance;it must be really draining :badmood:

    Have you checked out the self-help articles in the Resources section?

    There are also useful articles on the law and noise in the Resources section

    It's important to log all incidents, there is a blank recording form here

    as you may well contact your council Environmental Health Department who deal with noise nuisance.

    It may be worth a letter to the neighbours first, giving them an idea of how disturbing their noise is, prior to contacting E.H. There is a template letter at this link that you could use/amend

    Are your neighbours owner-occupiers, or also renting? If renting, it's worth finding out how to contact the landlord/agent, as if they take no notice of the letter, you will probably want to detail your complaints to them also.

    I hope this gives you a starting point, and I'm sure other members will have help and support for you too

    Do ask further questions/have a moan/let us know how things are going!




    • #3
      Hi Angelfish,

      I'm sorry to hear of the problems that you are having. I have a two year old myself and I know it's hard enough being woken up at the crack of dawn by your own toddler, let alone a neighbour's.

      You've already been given some really good advice to get you started, but I also just wanted to ask if you have tried talking to your neighbour about the noise and how it is affecting you.

      They obviously know that there is a problem, but it may be worth trying to reason it out with them first before any formal action is taken. They may just not realise how much of an impact they are having on you and a few quiet words may help.

      Good luck

      Blue Cow


      • #4

        Thanks for all your help!

        When we first moved into our flat 6 months ago, we got woken up at 5am every morning and we thought that it must have been a mistake - that someone had programmed their stereo too high for the wrong time or something. So we decided that we would go upstairs to go and talk to them. We knocked on the door as we knew they were in (we could hear them walking around upstairs) but they didn't answer.

        We tried several times, but they don't answer their door. It's got to the point where we don't talk to them now and they don't talk to us.

        It's not the fact that the kids wake us up - they don't usually, it's usually the music at a stupid hour in the morning. The kids just run around all day and I mean RUN all day!! or use their skateboard/scooter upstairs which is extremely noisy.

        If I had children in a flat, I would either look to move into a ground floor flat (not the top floor) or take my children outside into the gardens to play football or run around.

        I have only spoken to them once where we just acknowledged one another. But I honestly think it would be too difficult to talk to them now.

        We are thinking of moving just to get away from it, but as I am unemployed it makes it a little difficult...

        Thank you for all your help and I will certainly look at those links.

        Angelfish :ban:


        • #5
          Hi Angelfish and welcome to the forum

          Sorry to hear about your difficulties with NFH upstairs. Perhaps the kids were at home because it was the summer holidays. But you're right, it can't be much fun for the kids being kept indoors all the time, most good parents would take them to a park or something to let them get rid of surplus energy.

          As to the alarm clock! Well, they must be heavy sleepers if they have to be woken by a noise that wakes their neighbours as well! Sapph has given you some good advice and pointed the way to where you can find more so all I can do is offer you my sympathy and hope things get better

          Good luck

          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


          • #6
            hi AF

            the good thing about it being the alarm clock is you know what time its going to happen, so if the EHO get involved you will know what time to press the record button on the recording equipment!

            noise is dreadful, it seeps into your life, and I really feel for you, as I know what it is like.

            especailly when you have no control over the noise source.

            6 months is already too long to have put up with this noise

            contact your EHO and ask for advice, explain the situation, if you start writing it all down before you ring them they will see you are meaning business!

            good luck and keep coming back to let us know how it goes


            • #7
              Hi Anglefish, (i know what it feel like) i have lived in several flats, several places, why dont you ask your nieghbour(s) to come down to listen to the noise children make? some people dont realise how noisey they can be until they witnesses it themselves! it worked for me.

              Hope your nieghbours are reasonable people. Good luck.


              • #8
                Hi Angelfish and welcome to the Forum

                I'm sorry to hear about your noisy upstairs neighbours, I know ffrom first hand experience how draining it can be living with noise that you have no control over.

                Check out the links that sapphire has given you, definitely think about putting something in writing to your neighbours - there's a template letter for you to use in the Resources section. If they don't tone down the noise/behaviour after that, then consider involving the EH department.

                Obviously the easiest option, although I realise not necessarily the cheapest, is for you to move. Keep your eye of for something else, maybe consider applying to some Housing Associations in your area, or the local authority. Check out the areas you are thinking of moving to though .

                Good luck with it all and come back often.



                • #9
                  Hi AF

                  Hope you feel a little bit better now that you have found us and had some great advice already .

                  I must say, reading your post, that I wonder if your neighbours actually realize how much their noise is bothering you?

                  I think that a letter to them (as Saph mentions) either from you or a third party (possibly mediator of some kind - Councils often have such a service now) in a nice way might be a positive way forward.

                  Please tell us also if they are Council/Housing Association tenants - if so, the Landlord can help to broach the subject.

                  I am also wondering if when you knocked the ceiling the Kids might have heard it and thought it was funny to bang back - causing you alarm unknowingly? (just being devil's advocate here.)

                  It's really hard, looking at it from your neighbour's point of view, they may also be desperate to move to a ground floor flat or a house but are unable to for whatever reason so they might be feeling fed up and just let the kids run about the place because they are also frustrated. As a parent, I cannot take my kids out to play, supervised, as often as I - or they - would like .

                  Having said all that, if they are doing it on purpose, then the advice of others to contact Env Health or solicitors is a way forward. Hope it won't come to that though!

                  Keep us posted in how you get on,

                  Best wishes




                  • #10
                    Hi, I know what you're going through, when we lived in the old house with thin walls, one of the neighbours would set his alarm/radio off at 4:30 am every morning. It was so loud it would wake us up too. We put up with it for a while as it only lasted 5 minutes or so. As time went on he would leave it on while he got ready and then would forget to turn it off so that it went on all morning. We went round and explained, luckily he was ok about it and turned it down but occasionally it would still wake us up.

                    I know it seems obvious but some people are total idiots, they cannot see sense.

                    Good luck


                    • #11
                      :blink: Hi,

                      Again, thanks for all your replies.

                      It was 6.30am this morning (hence writing this so early!)... I think their flat is their own rather than rented accomodation.

                      We share the same stairwell and the amount of times that we've both gone out at the same time - they wait until we're gone before they come down.

                      Yes, I think that's what they are, total idiots - that's it. I don't think they think about anything else but themselves and that is the absolute truth!

                      It's funny, but I know that children make noise - I like children, I have no problems with them. In fact, I can't wait to have my own! But that aside, their children upstairs are the noisiest I've known! They run around sometimes until 12 at night screaming, blowing whilstles, banging on the floor, skateboarding on the floor - moving around chairs and tables, scraping them on the floor etc.

                      I've occassionally heard the woman saying '***! stop it' and then he stops, but carries on. And then there is no consistancy as far as telling them to stop it.

                      Their children don't tend to be at school half the time either. I realise that you can't take them out all the time, but the woman (their mother/stepmother) is there all day and she has no job, so I'm sure there must be some part of the day where she could take them out for a walk or to go and play. Simply because otherwise, they just run around the flat all day.

                      The flats are quite big and so I realise that they have a lot of space to run around it - but it just shows a lack of consideration for anybody else.

                      The people downstairs from us have heard the music too - which kind of shows how loud it is!!

                      We are looking to move, but feel that we really shouldn't HAVE to because we have neighbours like them! We want to enjoy our flat but feel we can't - it's very frustrating!

                      Thanks for all your replies!




                      • #12
                        Hi AF

                        If another neigbour is disturbed by any of the noise, do you think they may be willing to log this too? That would be really helpful if you are contacting E.H.

                        I do think they DO sound really inconsiderate, and wonder if the letter would be a first step that could have some effect, as they might really just not have given any thought as to how some of their noise sounds.

                        Do have a think about the option of approaching them/E.H. before moving if you feel that, other than the noise, you would like to stay. Whatever decision you make to deal with this tho', the best of luck




                        • #13
                          Hi again Angelfish

                          We are looking to move, but feel that we really shouldn't HAVE to because we have neighbours like them! We want to enjoy our flat but feel we can't - it's very frustrating!

                          I completely know where you are coming from with this. We eventually moved out of the house we'd been in for eight years becasue we couldn't take the intimidating behaviour of our neighbour.

                          Things got worse for me once I gave up my job to be a full-time Mum as I was in the house for much longer periods of time on my own. I felt that I couldn't go out of either my front or back door without being watched and I became so paranoid over the whole thing. It sounds so silly now, but at the time it was unbearable.

                          The decision to move was really hard, as we had so many happy memories in our old house, and as I had left my job, it wasn't an ideal time financially. I think now that if I had found this forum before I moved, then I would have made more of a stand.

                          It is so frustrating to think of moving your home just because of someone else's selfishness.

                 have to do what is right for you. If you want to "stay and fight" then fine, you have every right to.

                          All I would say is that we moved into our new house just over a year ago and I am so pleased that we did. We love it here, and we are now able to get on with our lives without being dictated to by someone else.

                          Some people may consider it running away. I think of it as liberation.

                          Take Care

                          Blue Cow


                          • #14

                            If I was in your position I would try mediation first before taking steps which might be regarded by them as confrontational. From what you've said it doesn't seem as if they have any deliberate intention of upsetting you, they might not fully realise the effect the noise is having. You seem to accept that from time-to-time children will be noisy, so it seems likely that at the moment a fair compromise could be reached.
                            'The only kind of courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one minute to the next.' - Mignon McLaughlin


                            • #15
                              Hi Angelfish

                              As with many of the others I can completely sympathise with your problems. Our problem with our NFH can all be traced back to them playing blaring music at 7am on a weekend, so loud it may as well have been coming from our radio. Like you I knocked on the door to ask them to turn it down and either the music was so loud they couldn't hear me or they ignored me. Later on in the morning when all was quiet I knocked again to ask them (nicely) if in future they would mind keeping it down a bit at the weekends (I need my sleep), again they didn't answer and I knew she was in.

                              Anyway the point of this tale - I penned a note (intended to be light hearted and tongue in cheek) saying along the lines that while I quite like Tom Jones too, I don't like it at 7am and would they mind turning the noise down a notch or two at the weekends. Well I had obviously misjudged the tone of the note completely as I returned from the supermarket to a very abusive note back. Not wanting to make things worse I again knocked to try and speak to her and explain and discuss the situation and again she wouldn't answer the door. I left it at that but things have gone from bad to worse ever since.

                              Anyway what I am trying to say is if you do go for writing a letter be very careful how you phrase things as people can be very sensitive in these situations. Also if I were you I would make every effort to try and speak to these people, believe me I know how hard it can be but I really wish communications between us and our NFH hadn't broken down so badly.

                              If all else fails background noise can be quite effective, radio or a fan when trying to sleep, it does drown out a lot and gives you something else to focus on.

                              Good luck with everything

                              Miss M