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  • where has my privacy gone?

    Hi all !

    May I wish you all the best of luck in your dealings with our nearest/not dearest !

    My problems began when I started to say yes to my nearest.They have right of way through my back garden, in fact it is the only way they can access their back door/yard.

    They have lived there for over 30 years and are veritable pillars of the comunity!

    (or so they tell me).They also tell me that they know their rights on any number of issues.........least of them being rights of way.

    I have lived here for only 2 years and the previous occupants had no longing for gardening, children or pets, so the garden/scruffy grey yard area"with a bit if grass on it",was un needed, un used and un loved.

    This suited my nearest as they had for years enjoyed free reign over the undevided scruffy area behind the 2 properties.

    Your probably getting it right now ..arnt you!

    Yes! ..........................First I wanted a GARDEN!

    So I gave them 6 months warning in friendly writing of the wonderful things I was going to do.I said that one of the first was to build an un obtrusive lattice on wire fence, woodern decking ( in a sympathetic manner), window boxes,and an external water supply(that they were invited to use),on my side of the boundry.

    When I came home from work one evening I found that they had erected an ugly thick crude fence, not only that but it was 2 foot over the boundry line ON MY SIDE !!!

    I let it go and continued in my renovation.During the erection of my decking they complained that the area was un safe(it took 2 days total)and seemed not to understand that they have a front door and I had given them 6 months notice.I asked them why they didnt use it and thay said that they JUST DONT...........fair

    enough.........said I.

    And they dont EVER EVER USE THE FRONT DOOR! they come and go in a constant streem all day and all night...............ok ..............said I.

    Then I bought a lab pup.I trained him not to jump up at humans.........I changed my job so that I wasnt working shifts, just incase he got lonley or barked in the night, and I followed the dog wardens advice about training him to "do it" at home.

    Now we get to the latest bullying & pestering & demands made upon me by my nearest/not dearest.

    They wont "let"me alow my dog (11 months old now & well trained), be in MY GARDEN!

    They say that if he is left un attended he may foul!

    Their defenition of un attended is that I dont stand over him watching him constantly and the moment he drops it......pick it up.

    on occasion I have let him out into his own garden and then go to wash up or watch a film ect,if they come home in that space of that time ie 1hour 30 mins, And he has happened to foul they come knocking on my door telling me that it is a disgrace! and that they can not be expected to live this way !

    Does the fact that they have right of way realy mean that I no longer (if I ever have had) own my garden.

    And after training my lab........called Ben........so well to respect humans, not to jump up and not to bark, is it fair legal or right that he should have to stay locked in the house all day.

    I am a mum, I work full time and I have a full social life.The latter and the fact that I have a regular manicure and watch my weight also get up HER nose, and I am now positive that these are the real reasons why.And after all, they have lived there for 30 years ,dont you know! and they KNOW THEIR RIGHTS!!

    please can someone tell me what MY rights are and if it is Ok for me to let Ben play in the garden for an hour or so at a time considering that the only argument they have is that I wont see him foul in that spece of time until I check back in with him.And does reasonable access mean that I carnt enjoy my garden without them ever understanding that they have a front door!

    The last encounter left me in tears for houres I just dont know what to do anymore, saying yes to everyting has not been my answer.

    Warmest Regards

    Pat.

    P.

  • #2
    Hi Pat, and welcome to the forum



    I'm no expert on boundary issues, and I'm sure other members will have some advice here. Meanwhile have you checked out the links below?



    http://www.boundary-problems.co.uk/



    http://www.gardenlaw.co.uk/



    However, if you have an area from which is easy for your dog to cross over, I imagine they may have a case, if the dog is allowed to foul in their garden. Could be wrong, but, it is their land. Is there anywhere nearby to walk him? On the other hand, if he can only go in your own garden, I would've thought that is your business!



    Shame your neighbours don't appreciate your efforts with the garden area though, and obviously, if you feel they have stolen some of your garden, it is worth looking into boundary issues.



    Sapph

    Comment


    • #3
      :huh:



      Hi there welcome to the forum.



      I think as long as your dog is in your bit of the garden and cannot get into theirs, they can mutter as much as they want, you can let him out in your garden if you please. i am sure that if he does poop in your bit of the garden you would clear it up anyway. if he can , however get in the NFH's garden then well they are going to complain about it and how are you going to get round that? is there any way of keeping him out of there? if he is solely in your garden and they keep coming to your door moaning, tell them politely the dog is under control and you will deal with him in due course.



      the fact that they are pillars of the community doesnt excuse them their bullying tactics, exactly what have they done to be such upstanding citizens? if they are such decent peopple, then why have they stolen two feet of your garden? this is a matter you must sort out, as a priority. not only are they trying to rule your life, they have also committed an illegal act. :sad:



      please try not to get upset about these people. it is a question of them playing mind games with you, they love the thought you are where they want you. if you didnt have a dog, they would find something else to get narky over, its just the way they are. plus they are of a different generation to you so they maybe cannot understand your way of doing things. :nfh1:



      you should make a start by investigating this boundary issue and seeking legal advice. and also keep a log of any untoward incidents.



      :ban: :ban:
      http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif



      I decree today that life

      Is simply taking and not giving

      England is mine - it owes me a living

      But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

      Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr




      Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno



      I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar



      "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson



      The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward



      An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter



      Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron



      Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb



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      Comment


      • #4
        Hi,



        I can understand how upsetting this situation must be for you.

        It seems to me that after years of having both gardens to themselves they are having difficulty in accepting the changes you have made. Given enough time they may adjust to the changes and even approve of the work you have done.

        In the meantime would it be possible for you to avoid them as much as possible?

        If they knock on your door don't answer it, if they collar you in the garden spend enough time with them to be polite and then make an excuse to leave;

        'I'll think about what you've said but I've got to go now - late for an appointment', that sort of thing. Leaving them with the impression of you as an assertive, confident person might be the best way of getting some space.
        'The only kind of courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one minute to the next.' - Mignon McLaughlin

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi all and thank you for your advice....Just to clarify my dog can not get into their garden.They are complaining about what he does in his OWN garden.

          I have taken your advice and contacted a solicitor today, he has sent off for a copy of the deeds from both our properties and will recieve them on friday.

          With some luck I will be able to get a letter sent to my nearest within the week.

          the dog problem does seem a little confusing though and I still need advice.

          Thank you all and goodluck!

          Regards Pat.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi pacman



            so long as your dog is in your own garden, and you are being a responsible owner and not letting your garden fill up with poop (lovely image!), then stuff them, frankly!!!



            if they make any complaints, be polite but firm. its your dog, your garden and you will deal with it in due course.



            they have had it their way all this time, now they have to get to grips with the fact that you want to do things your way. a bit of give and take on all sides is required here, and you have done a lot of giving!!! (e.g. two feet of your garden!!!!! :lol: )



            anyway, i hope the solicitor sorts things out for you, and that these NFH see reason and act like the decent pillars of the community they think they are....hmmm i wonder!!!! :nfh1: :ban:
            http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif



            I decree today that life

            Is simply taking and not giving

            England is mine - it owes me a living

            But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

            Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr




            Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno



            I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar



            "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson



            The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward



            An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter



            Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron



            Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb



            There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux



            Carpe Diem



            Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne

            Comment


            • #7
              hi Pat



              Hope your solicitor can help clarify all this for you And, since your dog has no access to their garden, I wouldn't have thought they can comment on what he does in yours, especially if it's cleaned up! Hopefully, as they pass through their access route, they don't step in anything, as this just sounds like it will inflame them



              Good luck with your solicitor , and it would be nice to hear how it goes.



              Regards



              Sapph

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Pat,



                I think I agee with other members. Your dog is not dangerous and it's in YOUR garden. I'd be inclined to tell these people that if it bothers them that much that some doggy do is in YOUR garden then they are most welcome to pick it up and dispose of it :P



                Good luck with your solicitor. Hopefully you will get back your land and your privacy



                Misty
                "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

                Comment


                • #9
                  For goodness sake!



                  What nonsense. :blink:



                  Even if your dog has done poops and more poops it is none of their business. Ok they could moan if there's a smell and they could whinge to environmental health, but seriously, it has to be ultra nasty before anyone would take any notice of them.



                  Do not worry about your dog. You are perfectly entitled to let it be in YOUR garden. It is not causing a nuisance to anyone and he sounds a lovely well trained boy!



                  Definitely sort out the stealing of your land - don't waste time. Also look into whether the deeds have any burden on you to give them access. If not, then stuff them!



                  They sound like they are very fussy -are they particularly house proud or something? Do they have any pets? They prob don't by the sound of it and in fact sound very anti-animals so I am not surprised they are trying to bully you into giving up your animal. Cheek!



                  Bet of luck and let us know how you get on



                  Mazza

                  :nfh1:

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi there and sympathies. My neighbours are constantly colonising. The front lawn" in reality an ornamental piece of grass which is in theory "a common part" has been completely taken over by my downstairs apartment owner. Various articles have collected there. A sandbox - open with sand regularly spread far and wide, a motorbike, three prams, assorted toys, and now a garden table and four chairs - possibly the umbrella will come. (As Scotty from Star Trek would say "It defies the laws of physics). Add five assorted children with high pitched screams as their most popular mode of communication. Woke up at 8 on Saturday morning to the screamers who had erected a dirty old mattress on the front steps and were using it as a slide. Great fun (I was a kid too once) but there goes the lie-in. I too have ventured to the solicitor concerning this and many other grievances. My advice is keep going and don't stop until the neighbours have been forced to face reality and to respect your rights. Asking people to behave in a civilised fashion isn't very effective with these people - whom I must say I find rather atavistic. Good luck! :banghead: Hermes the Messenger

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Pat and welcome to the Forum



                      I think everyone's right on the isue of your dog - in its own garden . Some people, eh? :blink: Have they told you you can't sunbathe there? :lol: I wouldn't put these things past NFH.



                      I hope the Solicitor manages to sort things out for you.



                      Just as an extra thing to think about, there is the option of involving mediation, who can speak to both parties to reach agreements where there are disputes. Might be worth a go. Check it out here to see if you have a local one: http://www.mediationuk.org.uk



                      Good luck and please let us know how you get on with the Solicitor.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi Pat



                        Don't let these people get you down, your dog is entitled to do whatever he likes in your garden, as long as he is not getting out and trespassing on their land they don't have a leg to stand.



                        Good luck with the solicitor, hopefully once your NFH see you won't just put up with all their cr*p they will back off. They sound like old fuddie duddie bullies to me.



                        Let us know how everything turns out.

                        Miss M

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hello Pat.

                          Get the position of the fence sorted out first then print out the whole of this issue and send them a copy without any further comment to let them see where public opinion stands in the matter. You are in the right and they are in the wrong and there is no easier way of addressing the issue.

                          Bogbain.

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