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  • village life!

    hi there folks, new member here, just watchin' Lord of the rings, keepin' out of the way. Glad to find this site, I was on the verge of going out to bang heads together after an incident at my son's new school; a definite overspill of how things are in the street, and my biggest fear. However, to find out we're not alone made me sit back and think; it's not mad I need to get, it's even.

    We moved to this village nearly six years ago, when we bought a privately owned ex-council house. We moved to get our children into the best secondary school in the area. The long and short of it though is there are eight families, seven in the cul-de-sac that we live in, that would happily abuse us in the street, bang on our doors waving spanners, intimidate our chidren, I can't remember the last time they went out to play. They break number plates off our vehicles, and smash lights and throw their rubbish in our garden. The best bit of all however, is that my nextdoor neighbour and his wife are the worst of all: and he's my own brother. He's made complaints to the council, environental health, 3 times in total, and each of these times, the official that came out said there was no problem. My own brother, I ask you! Of course, this has soured things with the rest of the family, and all down to the new wife,(who I went to school with oddly enough, where she bullied my younger sister!)The new wife, Scragg End, to you and I, has been banned from all the big super markets in town at some time for shop lifting, and her eldest son was convicted of unlawful killing. My brother made a good choice yes? I sometimes wonder if it is us who are so awful that all these people seem to detest us so much, but a friend pointed out to us that it's because we're the odd ones out. We have no criminal records, we send our children to school, we have jobs and we're not chemical dependant and our cars have tax and insurance and MOT. So I guess we are the odd ones out. Of course, the house in on the market, but we can't afford to buy in a nicer area, so we will have to rent. The worry of getting off the property ladder is almost too much to bear, and the rent will be £400 more than the mortgage we currently pay. Will anyone want to come and live here? Sorry, I've waffled on, who else to tell? Great site anyhow. see ya!! :sheep:

  • #2
    Hi Selenajain and welcome to the forum



    I don't know why, but there are a number of members, myself included who live in cul-de-sacs and find life one big nightmare. I hate going out, the gang gather at the entrance and it's like walking a gauntlet of hate



    It must be even more horrible for you, having your brother's wife next door causing problems.



    Have you kept logs of incidents? If not I'd advise you to start doing that right away. How about cctv cams? A couple of well placed ones can capture anything that is happening on your property. Make sure they trained ONLY on your property. When you have some evidence get in contact with the council or Housing Association. Also have a word with your local neighbourhood police officer and ask if there is anything the police can do.



    I'm sure other members will have lots more advice for you. It's very easy to feel isolated when you have NFH, but you can come here anytime and know somebody will have some words of comfort, advice and sympathy for you. If you need to vent your spleen we have a ranters folder for that very purpose. Take care



    Misty
    "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

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    • #3
      Gosh. What a pickle to be in! Your own brother and his wife? I wonder? Would it be your brother and his wife who have stirred up the hate against you? If so, why?

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Selenajain, and welcome to the forum, I'm sure you will get help and support from our members



        So sorry to hear of the awful situation you are in :badmood: And to know that your own brother is your worst nfh must be a terrible position to be in



        I agree with Misty, in that CCTV could be a good way to get some evidence with which the Council/police can start to take some action. Do log all incidents to show the situation as fully as possible.



        Are your nfh council tenants?



        If you haven't already seen them, please take a look through the self-help article

        http://www.nfh.org.uk/resources/Articles/index.php



        Please come back and visit, and let us know how things are going for you. Good luck



        Sapph

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        • #5
          Good Evening everyone,



          I have read Salenajain story and again become very suprised. My line of work takes me into trouble spots when conducting various investigations, just when you think you've seen it all or heard it all, someone shows you different.



          My experience has shown me that cul-de-sacs and alleys do generally have a high trouble rate with the main coming from people who have been insitu for a number of years. Unfortunately, it is double barreled when the majority of trouble comes from a family member, this makes the evidence gathering procedure more intense.



          I would recommend video tapped footage, photograpic evidence and a diary of events, idependant witnesses. :nfh1:

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          • #6
            Hi salenajain and welcome to the Forum



            Oh dear, what an awful situation for you to be in.



            I agree with all the advice given by other members but was wondering if you had made any official complaints to any authority yet? If so, then you need to be aware that you have to disclose this on the Sellers Property Information Form when you sell your property.



            Have you had any interest yet from viewers?



            Really sorry you've had to join us, but hope that we can provide you with lots of advice and support until you get out of where you are and into somewhere more peaceful .



            [Moved to What's Your Story]

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            • #7
              Hi selenajain



              another dreadful tale of neighbours



              and worst thing is its family



              can you not talk to him at all, they say you can choose your friends but not your family, how awful for you



              I can only echo what everyone else has said



              contact eho, police, record everything and stay strong



              have a good look round the site and the forum board, you will see there are loads of tips and ideas, including wearing sunglasses all year round, helps to avoid eye contact!!



              good luck and let us know how it goes

              Comment


              • #8
                wow, thanks everyone for your advice and support. We had more agro tonight, from other people this time, all under the age of sixteen. Husband went to speak with the parents, but what's the point? Things are always turned round. It left me in tears. We're stuck though aren't we? Can someone answer me this? At what point do we have to declare a neighbour problem to potential buyers? Might it be after police/council involvement? Or is it already too late, the fact that there is a problem means we have to declare it irrelevant of the fact that no formal complaints have been made. The helplessness is whats doing me in the most. Is it only next dorr neighbour problems that have to be declared, or anyone in the local area? thanks again folks, I await your reply.xx :banghead:

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi Salenajain



                  And sorry to hear of latest problems I don't think anyone here can give a definitive answer to your question, but have you had a look at this discussion re declaring neighbour disputes and the Seller's Property Information Form?



                  http://www.nfh.org.uk/forums/index.php?sho...&st=15&#entry16



                  I think it's probably worth half an hour with a solicitor on this one, but have a look at the thread. It gives you an idea abot the sorts of information that has to be declared!



                  Good luck



                  Sapph

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi again



                    Yes, have a look at the link sapphire has given you, as we had a good discussion about the SPIF there.



                    And I think the SPIF relates specifically to neighbours/neighbour disputes rather than people in the locality.



                    :nfh1:

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi Salenajain



                      Sorry to hear of all the problems that you've been having.



                      I would agree that it's definately worth confirming with your conveyancing lawyer before you declare/do not declare anything to a prospective buyer.



                      As far as you reporting anything to the council / EH etc, I wouldn't have thought that it would have a major impact on the SPIF, as your brother has already made complaints to them, but again, I would get this checked out first.



                      How is the sale going?? Have you had much interest?



                      Good luck and let us know how things go.



                      Take care



                      Blue Cow



                      :nfh1:

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                      • #12
                        Hello ALL,



                        Could I please give an answer to Salenjain with regards the question to declaring her present problem to potential buyers, I would strongly recommend immediate.



                        As I posted earlier, my business is Neighbourhood Investigations, I am presently overseeing an investigation where a seller sold a property without declaring neighbour problems, these problems were with a number of people in the surrounding area and arose for various reasons, they never told the buyers, who are now having problems and will taking legal action. Unfortunately you are in precarious situation.



                        :nfh1:

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi



                          Cul-e-sacs tend to become rather clicky - if you were last in and have family problems, no doubt the poison was spread before you got there. Horrible situation.



                          You say you can't afford to but in a "nicer area". Don't ever think that life is all rosy in so called "nice areas". I and others on this site live in "nice areas" and we have awful problems. Areas may be nice - many people are not, be they millionaires or paupers!

                          Can you try and avoid leaving the property ladder and buy elsewhere in the village? Just a thought!



                          I can, however, appreciate your desperation and wanting to get out quickly.



                          Hope all goes well.



                          John
                          "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by JOHN.S@Sep 9 2003, 8:09 PM

                            Don't ever think that life is all rosy in so called "nice areas". I and others on this site live in "nice areas" and we have awful problems. Areas may be nice - many people are not, be they millionaires or paupers!

                            Absolutely



                            I am one of those people who moved to a lovely quiet and "nice" area - the problem is that so did my NFH. :sad:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              ditto holly.



                              and i also agree with john s re cul de sacs...very cliquey and in your face. i will never live on one again.
                              http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif



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