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    Hi I'm catkins and new to your forum. I've been visiting the site for a few months and it has helped to realise that I'm not alone in what I and my family have been going through.

    I think the honesty of the contributors is wonderful.

    I don't know about other people but when my NFH situation started (almost 3 years ago now) I felt it was my fault that I'd bought a house next to someone who was so obviously deranged - do other people feel guilty in this way?

    I really, really, really wanted my house - it's beautiful, big, right area for my childrens' schools etc etc. When I managed to buy the house for £9, 500 less than the market value I thought it was becaus of my fabulous negotiating skills - hah! It was more likely that the people we bought from had gone through a similar situation to us. Perhaps I should have been suspicious that the previous owners had just had a conservatory added to the house and then moved. Perhaps the lack of a 'For Sale' sign and no open viewing (very common in Edinburgh where we live) should also have been a clue but oh no I was determined I was having that house - now I'd give it away in a raffle if I had somewhere else I could take my family.

    Anyway, I won't give my story now as I'm at work and if I start crying again I think my poor long suffering colleagues (many of them friends) will be putting Valium in my tea.

    Thank you to all of you who've shared your stories - I'll share mine when I've got over the last bout of nastiness from yesterday.

    catkins :unsure:

  • #2
    A big welcome to the NFHiB Forum Board catkins. It's really great you've joined and it's brilliant when people say they've found it helpful and have been looking over the publicly accessible board sections.

    As you'll have seen, you'll get lots of personalised help here, it truly is a remarkable, unique and friendly community, you will be understood and hopefully we can all help you act in your situation with what's best for you. You are now part of that forum community and it's your forum too to use as you feel appropriate.

    Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault you moved next door to an NFH! A lot of members have been in similar situations, how could you possibly know. In future this sort of thing will hopefully be reduced with the SPIF (Sellers Property Information Form).

    So, hope to read your story soon and when your ready to post it



    • #3

      Hi catkins

      congratulations for finding this forum - although it's a shame you had to of course...

      It's gruelling to put your story in writing so don't worry about taking your time over it, post when you are ready.

      I am SURE that you will find all the help and support and advice that you need here. Also don't worry about shedding a few tears too - we've nearly all been there... :blush:




      • #4
        Hi Catkins

        And welcome to NFHiB....glad you have felt able to post.

        Firstly let me reiterate that in no way is anything your "fault" in your choice of house!!! How could you know who you were moving next to!

        Hope you find the help and support useful when you are ready to post your story . Whenever you are ready



        • #5
          Hi catkins and welcome

          You're not the only one

          We bought our current home and found that we moved next to a NFH (they had exchanged a short while before us.... :sad: ).

          Anyway, we are now part of this wonderful online community that has helped us so much. We are now coping with our NFH.

          I'm sorry that you're living in your current circumstances and that you feel the way you do. It is completely natural to feel the way you do, as you will no doubt have seen if you have read some of the posts and replies.

          Just post whenever you feel ready.


          • #6
            Hi Catkins and welcome to the forum

            I'm sure you'll find a warm welcome from all fellow sufferers with lots of good advice and support.

            It's not easy posting that first post, we've all been there, but now you have you're 'one of us'

            I can only reiterate what others have said, i.e. you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. The only guilty party in your situation will be your NFH.

            Look forward to hearing more from you

            "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


            • #7

              Can sympathise with your guilt feelings. We felt the same. From day one we knew we had made a mistake but it took 2 years for the bag to really do her worst. However, we are fighting back as we really love our home - again, we bought it (despite reservations as the previous owners froze when we asked what neighbours were like) for same reasons as you - schools, size etc. You can win you know - it may take ages and be very gruelling but ultimately right is on your side.

              Post your story when you feel you can. There are great people here and you will find that just posting will relieve some of the horrendous pressure you are obviously under. It does help, I promise!

              Take care.

              "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"


              • #8
                Hi there!,

                I've just joined today (great minds think alike - and buy houses next to NFH - god I've already picked up the lingo) and it's started to help. Made me realise lots of us suffer these NFH problems and abuse when you try and stand up for your rights - not that this should be necessary as they're so obvious. Take care of yourself. You aren't alone -I have a friend and a work colleague who both have NFH issues.


                • #9
                  Hi Catkins and welcome

                  What you are feeling is just what I felt when I found out what I had moved my family into. It's not your fault, and although the signs were there, you would never have thought about them if you hadn't moved in next to NFH.

                  You are no longer alone



                  • #10
                    Hi Catkins

                    No you are definitely not alone in thinking that it your fault for buying your dream house - we feel exactly the same. The people we bought our house from are lovely people who still live fairly close by but this situation with our nfh has got me thinking that maybe they had problems but said nothing! This kind of thing makes you suspicious of everyone.

                    I felt like you about first posting - I had reached a particular low point and thought I was going to burst our crying (not a great idea when you are at work!) but posting really did help although I have to admit that I have still not told the whole story. However I came very close to crying when I saw the replies I received - it did restore my faith in human nature.

                    Try to be strong - I know this is difficult but you do have friends here who understand.

                    Take care



                    • #11
                      Hi Catkins,

                      Sorry to hear that you are having a problem, you will find lots of help and support on the boards here .. to paraphrase Dr. Fraser Crane "We're listening".

                      Your post made me wonder what people can do to help prevent themselves from moving in next door to an NFH so I've started a new topic in 'Ask for Help' for others suggestions.

                      Best wishes

                      Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"

                      Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"

                      Howard:"I know...of you"

                      Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

                      Lovely lady with the eye

                      Lovely lady with the eye

                      You've only got one but it's a good one

                      Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

                      coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

                      Yeah! I'm in a band..."


                      • #12
                        Hi catkins, guilty yes - and we feel blinking fools for not seeing the problems before we moved in. We thought we'd checked everything. all the problems that had bothered in the past we checked for. Perfect we thought. We'll have none of that here - how many people would know to check for where the RAF train???? To check what flies over the house??????

                        You are reliant on to some extent on what the previous owner tells you and that when turns out to be lies and economy with the truth...

                        It's fine to say the seller must tell the prospective buyer any problems with neighbours or disputes etc - but that puts the onus on the seller getting them sorted out which I've found is just about nigh on impossible.

                        NFH is the voice in the wildeness - lets face it - who else is bothered?


                        • #13
                          I'm not sure this post will end up in the right place! I've replied to the last posting so hopefully I've got it right.

                          I don't know what to say - I'm overwhelmed by how positive and supportive you all are. I think I've allowed my experiences with my NFH to make me suspicious of others - thank you for reminding me there are lots of nice people in the world.

                          I'll try and get my head round where to start my tale of woe and post again.

                          Sincere thanks to you all for your support.



                          • #14
                            Hi catkins

                            Yes, you have posted in the right place

                            Try and keep your story as anonymous as possible.


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by catkins@Aug 28 2003, 9:28 AM

                              I think I've allowed my experiences with my NFH to make me suspicious of others - thank you for reminding me there are lots of nice people in the world.
                              It's honestly quite a common feeling Catkins When anyone has been through any type of crime, they are understandably a bit nervous.

                              When we have suffered at the hands of anti-social individuals and bad neighbours, we are a victim, like any victim of any other crime and will also be more mistrusting of others to try and protect ourselves from being 'hurt' again.

                              Great thing is though, you will adapt back again from living with NFH, how long this takes is a very personal thing, but you will get there.