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  • Hmmmmm...

    Hi All,

    Thank you so much for your kind words. I have never felt so understood.

    My neighbour next door, she is not exactly a NFH. She was always very quiet and sensible and she still is. It is only when she had a new boyfriend that things started getting iffy.

    It is nice to know that she is happy and enjoyig herself BUT I find this kind of noise very disturbing as well as embarrassing (I know this kind of noise doesn't affect some people) and it is very difficult to live with. Of course, it doesn't last very long (heaven forbid) so if I wait I know it will end eventually BUT...

    I know some peole would say this is all part of the fun of living in a semi-detached house...well maybe...

    She also used to use a different bedroom which wasn't next to mine so I didn't realise this noise before fortunately or unfortunately.

    Last week I actully dropped her a friendly note in which I said the noise was clearly audible through the wall. But I don't know what she can do. At the end of the day, she is doing nothing wrong...BUT

    My problem is really nothing but it would be great if I could know how other people put up with this kind of trivial but quite irritating noise.

    sometimes i do feel I wish I could reciprocate but it is unfortunatley impossible at the moment. :unsure: But I don't think I'm that noisy.

    Anyway, thanks for listening. I will post a message again if there is any progress.

    All the best to all of you,:ban:


  • #2
    Hi IKooko

    I kind of understand why your post title is "hmmmm". As you say, she isn't deliberately setting out to disturb you, but she is doing so! Maybe she has been a bit mortified by the note if she didn't realise how thin the walls are? Has she responded to your note, or has the disturbance decreased since she received it?

    Have you tried earplugs? You might just want to block things out until you get this resolved?

    I think it's worth pursuing this a little further in an amicable manner with your neighbour, embarassing though it can be. I think you've been really brave tackling this with her, as this can't be easy! Good luck, and let us know if things go OK

    Over to other members.....




    • #3
      you could try cheering and clapping once they have finished!

      it might make them realise they can be over heard in the heat of the moment!! :lol:

      I guess you will have to see if your note makes a difference. I can see why its a bit emabarrassing!


      • #4
        "Cheering and clapping" - lol Beth

        I guess it's difficult to know what to do or say in this situation, it's all down to the individual's enduring it... Some people would probably love the situation and find it arousing in a kind of voyeur-esque way... :blush:

        I think you should provide the members here with a full detailled description, for erm, research purposes

        Seriously though, how about simply putting a small radio in your room with a sleep timer and listening to some light music at night (not too loud obviously) to cover any other noises a bit?


        • #5
          Hi Ikooko

          Well done you for popping a note through the door.

          I hope that your neighbour either speaks to you about it or moves into another bedroom so you can get a bit of peace and quiet.

          Please let us know what happens.


          • #6
            Hi, I liked what Beth said but I would wait until they finished and then shout 'Please don't stop now!!!!!!!'

            Perhaps more seriously I would maybe cough loudly so that they could hear you and maybe 'get' the idea that the walls are thin.


            • #7

              I once lived in a flat with very thin walls. My next door neighbour used to spend long periods of time away from his flat, but occasionally he used to ahem, 'get lucky' and bring a girly back to his flat.

              well, he might as well have been in the bed with me!!!! it was baaad.

              thankfully he didnt get lucky that often...either that or he realised about the walls and went to her place.!!!

              he was once very noisy with a load of mates for several nights, and I was but a mere whippersnapper back then (about 22), so i got up out of bed and banged on his door, in my nightie and gave him hell...when he didnt shut up i put Guns n Roses on full blast. as the walls were so thin i could hear his reaction!!!!! he was never as bad again. :P

              next day lady downstairs said to me, 'did you hear your neighbour last night, i didnt know he was into guns n roses...' :lol: i never let on it was moi!!!

              i would never do that now, i have turned very boring and sensible.

              anyway, i dont want to trivialise your situation, but maybe if you had a bit of music to put on when things get bad next door, or bung in some ear plugs it would just drown it out. i think if i got a note thru my door about it, i would be so embarrassed i would move my bed, but then we are talking about NFH here!!! :nfh1:

              I decree today that life

              Is simply taking and not giving

              England is mine - it owes me a living

              But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

              Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr

              Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno

              I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar

              "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson

              The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward

              An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter

              Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron

              Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb

              There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux

              Carpe Diem

              Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne


              • #8
                Without wanting to trivialise your situation....

                ... wait until the next time your neighbour is (ahem) enjoying herself, then jump up and down on your bed and 'Meg Ryan' in time with her :lol:


                • #9
                  Originally posted by simon@Aug 21 2003, 9:58 AM

                  'Meg Ryan' in time with her
                  :hihi: LOL! Classic example.


                  • #10
                    Hope the note works - your story is cringe-making :errrm: and I hope it works itself out



                    • #11

                      Thanks for your messages...I really appreciate it. It helps a lot.

                      As someone might have noticed it from my English, I'm a foreigner who lives in UK. First I thougth it was my oriental-origin why I find this kind of noise so embarrassing as well as my age. I'm glad that I don't seem to be the only one.

                      What really helped me to decide to drop a note the other day was the knocking noise my neighbour's bed was making while they were at it because it was so close to the wall. I don't know if I could be brave enought to do what I did if it was just her voice.

                      But her 'Ooo!!! ahhh!! ugh ugh ugh!!' was still very I still might have done :lol:

                      My note actually went like this:

                      Sorry this is embarrassing but recently there has been knocking sound through the wall between our bedroom and yours (My son and I both use our backroom as a bedroom because of the traffic noise). Perhaps you could pull your bed a little away from the wall so that it won’t touch the wall any more. It is a sort of similar sound when someone is doing DIY and it is surprisingly loud.

                      Sorry to mention this but it has been also very uncomfortable to be exposed to a certain noise that is supposed to be so private you are not supposed to hear (like toilet!). I mentioned this because I thought you would rather know. I would have just walked out of the room if it was day time but because of the time there is nothing I could do to avoid it. I don’t know what you can do about this but I thought I should let you know.

                      Luckily she took action immediatelly I no longer hear the sound...phew

                      With regard to the other noise, she was still noisy the next day I dropped the note. It really annoyed me they were also playing music while doing it and it was already 11:30. I think they wanted to make sure I knew they were not happy. I was dreading this moment to come :banghead:

                      But they have been relatively quiet since then although I was usuing earplugs so I couldn't really tell. I am at the moment the least motivated to find it out just in case. I hope she had another thought and is quieter by now but what if I could still hear it. Eeaplugs are so uncomfortable I wouldn't like it if I had to use them for a long time... :cry:

                      Before I wrote the note, I was really hesitating to do it (it took me some time before I did it) because I was thinking I would hate it if they thought I was just being jealous because I am a single mother (widowed)...but I eventually accepted when it happens it just happens.

                      Also, as a mother of a small boy, I wouldn't like it if he was to hear the noise although he is normally fast asleep. See this is the reason why I couldn't play Guns'n'Roses. :lol: I wonder what other peoole are doing to make sure this doensn't happe to their offsprings.

                      Anyway, thanks for listening again. Often it is not so much of the noise but it is the attitude of the noisy poeple that makes your life hell. Everybody needs respect as well as tolerance.

                      Hope you all have a good day.



                      • #12
                        Hi Ikooko!

                        I think your letter is a testament to tact and diplomacy....well done

                        I wonder if the raising of the music level is to try and cover up the other noise?! :lol: Still, that is not going to be acceptable late at night either! Start logging each noise incident(there are blank recording sheets in resources on home page...also articles on noise nuisance, and steps you can take).

                        Perhaps another tactful note to say that the music is also disturbing after xxxx time, but thank you for your consideration with the other noise?

                        I'm not surprised that you find the whole thing embarassing, and for your child as well

                        I hope she will take further notice of what you say...and if not, then it's the Environmental Health Dept, and her landlord who need to do something about it....maybe mediation would be worth a go too!

                        best of luck, and keep up the great attitude, it sounds as if she may well respond to your approach


                        P.S. and your English is brilliant...never would have guessed it is your second language


                        • #13
                          Hi Ikooko

                          I think your note was great, and better still, it obviously worked with the *other* noise !

                          If the music carries on, then you need to be writing everything down like sapphire says. Use the sheet here:


                          Often it is not so much of the noise but it is the attitude of the noisy poeple that makes your life hell. Everybody needs respect as well as tolerance.

                          Absolutely Ikooko