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  • My Nfh

    I came across this site by chance and it's been such a relief to find we're not on our own. For the last 2 years my wife and I have been suffering from our own NFH usually involving them screaming and hitting each other or screaming abuse outside our house at us for hours on end.



    Having read other members stories our experiences are comparitively tame, but we have found it a real shock to the system to find ourselves living next to people intent on making our lives (and their own) utterly miserable. We don't want to move and can't really afford to do so but the police will do nothing so we are trapped. The net result is that we can't face going home and constantly feel sick. I also feel ashamed that despite the fact that the male NFH has threatened my wife I feel scared to take him on. Have other members suffered this feeling and if so how did they come to terms with it?
    "Blue Blue 'letric Blue that's the colour of my room, where I will live."

  • #2
    Hi Crispy,



    Wel you've come to the right place. This thread will need to go on "What's Your Story?" so expect to see it moved there later on.



    Is there any further background you can give to your story. How did it start? Has mediation been tried or are they just intent on making trouble? Has it just been abuse and threats or anything else?



    It just helps us to build up a better picture.



    Don't worry about the not responding to the NFH. As you'll see from other people's threads, the NFHs want a reaction more than anything else. If you had responded they'll have used this against you.



    Anyway you'll get lots of support and advice here.
    Now, these creatures are bringers of death and misery. They will never eat, they will never sleep, and they will never stop.



    We are part of an ancient secret society. For three thousand years we have guarded the Cities and Towns. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the NFH from ever being reborn into this world.




    So what's the plan?



    Rescue the damsel in distress, stop the bad guys, save the world.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Crispy and welcome



      I'm sure that you will get lots of support from the kind people on the board. They have certainly made me welcome.



      From what I have read so far, the place to start is to keep a record of all the incidents - witnessed by more than one person if possible.



      Take a look at the hints section of the NFH site for more details



      http://www.nfh.org.uk/resources/Articles/h...hints/index.php



      I also feel ashamed that despite the fact that the male NFH has threatened my wife I feel scared to take him on. Have other members suffered this feeling and if so how did they come to terms with it?


      For a long time I was fearful of my NFH after he threatened to beat me up. However, I now go to the gym 3 times a week and am starting to look like proverbial 'brick s*** house' (ok not quite yet.. but you can start to see muscles .. honest). I just had an insight one day - "He will do more harm to himself if he hurts me - I would just have to endure physical discomfort for a while, but he would end up in court for assault". I'm no longer scared of him - I just think he is a sad little man, who's ignorant attitude drives his tiny brain into doing idiotic and stupid things. (just to explain, this guy has an intense dislike of me, whereas the people to actually know me think I'm ok). If I ever had to confront him and he took a swing - more power to me! (that and I would now flatten him in self defense)



      FF
      Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"



      Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"



      Howard:"I know...of you"



      Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

      Lovely lady with the eye

      Lovely lady with the eye

      You've only got one but it's a good one

      Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

      coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

      Yeah! I'm in a band..."

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi Crispy and welcome to the Forum



        Sorry to hear about your noisy neighbours. It really wears you down, the sicky feeling on returning home is a common theme here on the Forum. Many of us know exactly what you mean about that ball in your tummy and just feeling in knots all the time.



        You have absolutely come to the right place to get support. We'll help you all we can.



        You need to start writing everything down - check out the resources section on the main NFH Home Page where you'll find some blank sheets.



        http://www.nfh.org.uk/resources/docs/Log_t..._Neighbours.doc



        We probably all have images and ideas of how we'd retaliate, but suggest that you keep those in your dreams . Starting down the slippery slope of this type of behaviour can end up with you only having to deal with so much more and ultimately makes you no better than them. Do not feel ashamed at all that you "didn't take him on" - he's not worth the aggravation.



        If this man has made threats towards you and/or your wife, then you need to be checking out the information about Protection from Harassment Act 1997:



        http://www.nfh.org.uk/resources/Articles/h...sment/index.php



        It's difficult ignoring them, but to some extent that's what you have to try and do.



        The choices in the kind of situation you're in now are:



        - Stay and put up with it, or

        - Stay and record everything, complain to the Environmental health department and Police about their behaviour (although you will need to speak or write to your neighbours from hell first), or

        - Sell up and move away



        Other members will be along shortly to offer you more advice and support - stick with it

        Comment


        • #5
          Crispy,



          Kinda what I meant in my post .. but in less words



          Do not feel ashamed at all that you "didn't take him on" - he's not worth the aggravation


          FF
          Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"



          Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"



          Howard:"I know...of you"



          Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

          Lovely lady with the eye

          Lovely lady with the eye

          You've only got one but it's a good one

          Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

          coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

          Yeah! I'm in a band..."

          Comment


          • #6
            Our story is pretty straightforward. We bought our house 15 years ago and have lived here happily and harmoniously during that time. 2 years ago the house next door was rented to a couple who started having violent arguments from day one. When we politely asked if they could keep the noise down we became the focus for their hatred and were told in no uncertain times that we were in big trouble and would be beaten severely if we complained. The police didn't want to know and their landlord wasn't interested. We tried some retaliation in the form of a teenage daughter with a guitar but that made things worse and all we get is more abuse and threats. Although we've tried to ignore it or laugh it off it's really got too much. Because of the formation of the houses we live in, there is only one other house affected by the trouble and as they are also renters although they sympathise with our dilemma they don't want to be involved. So we are rather going it alone.



            Thanks to you all for your kind and supportive words. It sounds slightly drippy but I did get a bit weepy when I was reading the responses. :cry: I suppose it's relief really.



            At least it's focused me on the problems ahead. I've got all the emergency numbers listed and on speed dial (police and muscle if required) on the main phone and entered them on all our mobiles. I've borrowed a video camera and an audio tape recorder to capture their every utterance and we will be using the report form from the site.



            Thanks again for providing some valuable and much needed light at the end of the tunnel.
            "Blue Blue 'letric Blue that's the colour of my room, where I will live."

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi crispy and welcome to the forum



              I'm really sorry to hear about your NFH situation. I can only echo what the other members have said, i.e. recording everything. Any cctv/video footage and audio evidence will be invaluable.



              There is nothing to be ashamed of in feeling scared. Only a fool has no fear. But if you are being threatened then the police have a duty to act. The landlord must surely have a tenancy agreement with these NFH and it sounds like they've broken some of the terms. Perhaps you should get back to the said landlord and ask for help again.



              Don't give up, don't despair. Hopefully you will be able to get the police to respond in a positive way. If not, then write to your Chief Constable. He'll probably pass your letter down the line but eventually a senior officer will read it.



              Good luck, come back as often as you like, you'll get a lot of support and sympathy here and you will at least know you are not alone



              Misty
              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi again crispy



                I'm so glad that you've found some relief by registering - I think it really does help knowing that you are not alone.



                You need evidence, evidence, evidence and more evidence if you are going to be listened to. Although even then it can still be very hard going.



                I wonder why the landlord isn't doing anything? Do you know whether any damage has been done to the property, or is it just to each other and your well-being? A lot of landlords, sadly, seem to be only bothered about having their rent paid.



                It's very likely that they will have a clause in their tenancy agreement about not causing a nuisance to neighbours. If there is any chance of talking or writing to their landlord you may want to raise this.



                Keep coming back here often to check your replies - if things get bad, you can always post in Ranters Corner.



                Take care crispy - make sure you use a high factor if you're out in the sun .

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi there crispy



                  from now on, do not retaliate or respond face to face to the NFH. Just blank them totally. these slime buckets just love getting a reaction , it makes them feel important when in fact all they are is trash pure and simple.



                  i do not think the landlord can get away with ignoring you, keep informing him of the situation and you never know, when it comes to renewing their lease he might just say no! i wonder if it is possible to sue landlords who dont take their responsibilities seriously. i might be tempted to seek advice on that one. keep recording everything and give nothing away to your NFH.



                  Its time to get cleverer than them ( which wont be hard) :lol:



                  We all know that sick feeling of not being able to relax in your own home, please dont worry we are all here for you!!



                  :ban: :nfh1:
                  http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif



                  I decree today that life

                  Is simply taking and not giving

                  England is mine - it owes me a living

                  But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

                  Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr




                  Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno



                  I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar



                  "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson



                  The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward



                  An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter



                  Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron



                  Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb



                  There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux



                  Carpe Diem



                  Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Welcome to the forum Crispy, glad you found us



                    Firstly, I have to say you're not being "drippy" or shouldn't ever feel "ashamed" either - it's a braver person not to physically retaliate to an NFH. At the end of the day it plays into their hands and can make matters much, much worse - you give them behaviour at their level then that they are trying to ellicit from you, they then have 'ammunition' to easily fire back at your direction.



                    You have more courage than any NFH at the end of the day, and you can hold your head high in the knowledge you really are better than they are.



                    Have you got our old NFH next door to you?! This sounds like them to a tee! We had two different sets of NFH couples over the space of a few years next door to us - NFH couple no. 2 were just like you're experiencing with your NFH now. They had noisy, abusive arguments, fights, hi-fi noise to kill you with at all hours, a noisy howling dog, etc, etc, etc.....list goes on...you name it, they did it. They also shouted outside at us and our house - it's a horrible, nauseating feeling.



                    Whatever problems you have though, they are relative and if it's a problem for you, it's a problem, full stop.



                    You have a right to enjoy your own home without this 'assaulting' NFH behaviour from your neighbours like this - you shouldn't have to feel worried about going home, it's your home. When we experience an NFH, it is an assault - it's unwanted, un-needed and it hurts us physically and mentally. It also has a knock on effect in every area of our lives.



                    Have you read the extensive Noise Article we have online? It's here:



                    http://www.nfh.org.uk/resources/Articles/n...noise/index.php



                    It pretty much guides you through everything - have a look and see it it can help you and if much of this applies to you.



                    Above all, please keep visiting here often, it's an invaluable source of info and support and all members are exceptional, you are never alone with an NFH problem. It's also good to see that you're not being "unreasonable" (as often people begin to think they may be when they experience an NFH, although they're not in reality).



                    :nfh1:

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Annabel@Aug 11 2003, 2:25 PM

                      from now on, do not retaliate or respond face to face to the NFH. Just blank them totally. these slime buckets just love getting a reaction
                      I would second that, blank them, ignore them, do not answer, do not acknowledge them in any way, look away.......NFH cannot deal with this and it will give you the upper hand ultimately and psychologically.



                      Beth and I did this successfully with NFH Couple No. 2, it was harder to begin with (even though they were the last people on earth we wanted to have a dialogue with!), but we'd just continue our conversation outside or activities as if they weren't there, total blank - the NFH couldn't cope with it as they too, like many NFH are/were self-centred, attention seeking, manipulative and purely selfish, blinkered people.



                      You're better than them and you can do this too.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi crispy,



                        Anyone would feel afraid in your situation, 'being brave' just means learning to handle the fear - that's all (and you're doing that).



                        Get yourself some cool shades to wear when you're out and about, it really helps boost confidence.
                        'The only kind of courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one minute to the next.' - Mignon McLaughlin

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Is it good form or even legal to post photos of your NFH?



                          I have a particularly revolting one of mine. 8-X:
                          "Blue Blue 'letric Blue that's the colour of my room, where I will live."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by crispy32@Aug 11 2003, 3:18 PM

                            Is it good form or even legal to post photos of your NFH?



                            I have a particularly revolting one of mine. 8-X:
                            Tempting



                            But, prob not a good idea - you don't want to land trouble if your NFH see them eh



                            NFH are revolting (a great word!) full stop eh! :nfh1:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I don't think so .. unless you 'crimewatch' out the face with a mosaic and the location can't be recognised



                              Not completely sure.



                              I know you can't post information that can be used to identify them (something to do with the data protection act)



                              FF
                              Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"



                              Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"



                              Howard:"I know...of you"



                              Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

                              Lovely lady with the eye

                              Lovely lady with the eye

                              You've only got one but it's a good one

                              Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

                              coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

                              Yeah! I'm in a band..."

                              Comment

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