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  • Hello !


    Just a quick note to introduce myself to all fellow members on the forum. I'm tremendously impressed at all of the hard work that has gone on to develop the site, and the energy and community that has been brought about by this project. I haven't had the chance to read as many posts as I'd like, but given I'm browsing at work at present, that's a little difficult to do....

    My name is Gav and I am lucky enough to be married to a super lass called Lorna, and we have two fantastic children, Luke (4) and Zoe (7 months). However, we have recently experienced the NFH phenomenon, which has now been ongoing for the last 2-3 months. I'd like to nip this in the bud, and I'm sure the information from this site will help me towards this goal.

    My problem neighbours seem pretty tame in comparison to some of the posts I've read, but they're a problem for me and my family.

    My neighbour's garden backs on to our garden, and with the onset of the summer months and light nights he has started playing football with his son - nothing wrong with that... However, the father (early-mid 40's) has a tendancy to get a little 'carried away' and shouts and screams at the top of his voice. Now I'm not sure if his house is acting as a soundboard, but the noise is as loud as if he is standing inside my living room.

    This 'exuberance' carried on for a couple of months, getting later and later as the days lengthened until I politely asked him to please keep the noise down. I popped my head across the fence and stated that 'I didn't want to be a killjoy, and wasn't asking them to stop playing football, but since it was after 10:30 pm and that I was trying to get my children to sleep could he please play more quietly?' He completely blanked me, and turned round to his son and said 'I suppose we'd better go inside then'. No apology, no manners.

    Peace returned for a couple of weeks when they must have been off on holiday, but the noise has started again, and goes on every night until typically 10 pm.

    Friday night, 9:50 pm and I'd had enough - so I leant out of my bathroom window and asked if he could please keep the noise down - being very careful to stay calm, focused and hospitable. I was met by a torrent of abuse - resulting in him swearing at me (in front of his own 2 children) and stating that 'I was the problem' and that he wouldn't shut up and there wasn't anything I could do...

    During our 'discussion' I stated clearly again that I didn't have a problem with him or his kids playing in the garden, but please keep the noise down as I was trying to get my baby to stay asleep. But this guy obviously has no social conscience, and is behaving in a selfish, petulant and ignorant manner.

    To cap it all he sent his children out last night, presumably with the mandate to make as much noise as possible (they have never been the ones to shout and scream before) and they continued doing so until approximately 10 pm. I could hear him laughing in the background, obviously he believes he is going to teach me a lesson.

    I felt very angry about the fact that this was getting to me, and I asked myself if this is my problem, whether I am the one who who is being intolerant, but the more people I speak to the more confirmation I get that he is the problem. With the info I have gathered from your site I'll try and resolve this asap.

    Rant finished, I'll step down from my soap box now - especially as I guess this is pretty minor compared to some of the problems you are facing. Best of luck to you all !


    Gav :-)

  • #2
    Hi Gav and welcome to the Forum

    Nice to have you with us, but sorry you're having problems with your neighbour from hell (NFH).

    What you're having to live with is a problem for you, that's all that matters , not comparing it to other members.

    Noise nuisance is awful to have to experience. You never know when they're going to shut up and give you some peace and quiet.

    You've obviously tried with this nfh, but the behaviour is carrying on.

    The first thing that we always advise people to do is to start writing everything down - you may need this evidence at some point in the future. There's some blank sheets for you to use here (one for noise nuisance and one for general nuisance):

    Have you considered writing to your neighbour? If you do, you should keep a copy - there's a suggested template to use here:

    At the NFH Home Page, you'll find some useful Self Help Articles, two you might find handy are:

    Hints and Tips for Coping with a NFH:

    Niose Nuisance:

    You have come to the right place. You are not alone.

    We are all here to try and offer you support and advice on coping with the situation you're now living with.

    I think there are some other issues in your post (you're not just suffering noise) about your NFH's inconsiderate, rude and aggressive behaviour and hopefully other members can come along shortly to help you with this.

    Keep checking back to see the other replies. Take care


    • #3

      Hi Gav, I do sympathise with you as I have a similar problem to you, whereby a load of kids play football outside my house until late at night and make a right old racket, and with it being summer holidays, their parents are even less inclined than usual to control them. ( not that they did in the first place) In your case , its the idiot father who started it, and now he is letting his kids take over the baton. What a moron :angry: and with this hot weather you cant even shut the windows to block out the racket :angry:

      i too have asked the parents if their kids would play elsewhere, e.g. outside their own blinking houses!!! and got nothing but abuse and hassle ever since. i dont say a word now, but then again i am moving so i have to grit my teeth and put up with it. many of us here are plagued with this kind of problem, so dont feel it is trivial, it isnt!!! it is very draining and tedious and upsetting. your problem obviously started when the lighter evenings came along. all us fellow sufferers of this problem look forward to torrential rain and deep dark nights when we will get some peace and quiet. :badmood: :badmood:

      I would get a dicataphone and start recording the noise and any 'comments' that are made by this ignoramus. Have another attempt at talking to him sensibly, explain again you have a small baby and she needs her sleep, as do you all!!! make sure you record this conversation!!! record any other noise faithfully even if you think its a pain. i hate to say this also, but these duisputes have a nasty way of escalating so i would give consideration to putting up cctv to monior your back fence in case they start chucking stuff over, climbing over or causing damage to your back fence. maybe also have a word with any other neighbours if you can to see what they feel about it. strength in numbers!!! perhaps they will aslo mention the noise to this fool.

      never ever stoop to this idiot's level, never be abusive back or shout. always keep the moral higher ground as he will get very frustrated by this.

      well there is not a lot more i can say other than you will get a lot of support and understanding here.

      a usual question is to ask you whether you or the NFH own your homes or are tenants. it seems to me there is a bit more chance of getting the problem resolved sooner if they are tenants as they will have a clause in their tenancy agreement about not making a nuisance of themselves. if not then i think you might have to consult environmental health. but there are others who are better at advising you on this.

      I decree today that life

      Is simply taking and not giving

      England is mine - it owes me a living

      But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

      Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr

      Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno

      I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar

      "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson

      The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward

      An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter

      Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron

      Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb

      There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux

      Carpe Diem

      Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne


      • #4
        Dear Gav,

        Whatever you do, stay calm, don't agravate him, log everything etc ..

        However, I find that fantasising about giving all the other neighbours ear muffs, then driving round and round on a Harley in front of the NFH's house makes me feel better.

        Howard:"You wanna be careful, before you know it you'll wake up in a bush singing songs about brooms"

        Vince:"You don't know anything about me. Do you know anything about me?"

        Howard:"I know...of you"

        Vince:"Yeah, well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't sing songs about brooms...I sing songs about love...

        Lovely lady with the eye

        Lovely lady with the eye

        You've only got one but it's a good one

        Lovely lady with the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye, the eye

        coming forward on a string, thats not normal, urgh

        Yeah! I'm in a band..."


        • #5
          Hi Gav and welcome to the forum

          Seems you've got yourself a fairly typical NFH I just can't understand these people who reply to simple, polite requests with such abuse

          I have to agree with annabel, be very careful because what starts as something fairly annoying can escalate to worse things.

          I can see that Holly has given you a lot of info to digest so I'll just say, good luck, hope things get better. And never let NFH provoke you into retaliation, it's just what they want!

          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


          • #6
            Hi Gav,

            I just wanted to welcome you to the forum as you've been given some super dooper advice already

            NFH syndrome is right, it's an infliction on the sufferer, an assault on people who are trying to enjoy their own homes with the rights they deserve.

            Good luck with it and please come visit us here often, loads of support, advice and great people!


            • #7
              To all,

              Many thanks for your messages of support - it is very much appreciated... the image of my neighbours in ear muffs watching me on a Harley raises a grin

              Thanks for all the links - I've printed off vast quantities of information and now feel like I have been empowered - from feeling powerless at the start of the day - a great step forwards !

              Best wishes,



              • #8
                Hi Gav, and welcome to the forum

                I think you have been quite right to try to handle this nfh with such a calm approach. It sounds as if he's on a bit of a short fuse and quite irrational. I'm sure you won't rise to the bait!!

                You've already been given a lot of food for thought(and action), so I won't repeat it :lol:

                Please let us know how things progress...and vent when you need to to