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Going Out Of My Head

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  • Going Out Of My Head

    Hello Everyone

    I wondered if anybody could help me with something that is driving me mad...I am going out of my head and i dont know how to deal with this problem .

    Anyway here goes....I have been living in my neighbourhood for a year now and since we have been here, We have had nothing but problems and complaints from the woman next door,She is so rude she has threatned me with this and that and i feel i cant tolerate this anymore.

    She is also strange last week she had the cheek to ask my daughter to borrow some make up,It was lucky i didnt answer the door.

    My boyfriend used to tell me to blank her out ..but after last night he has had enough.I have lived in many places but never once in my life have i encountoured a weirdo neighbour from Hell like her!

    Last night she played her music really loud at midnight till 3am in the morning,we went and knocked on her door but she wouldn't answer.I cry with frustration because i dont know how to handle this!

    I suffer from Anxiety and im having treatment and im on meds to help keep me calm,but i feel this has gone to far.I just cant seem to cope.

    Please would anybody have any suggestions..I would be so grateful.

    Thank You

    Take care all

    daney xx

  • #2
    Welcome to the board Daney

    I'm sorry you're having problems with your neighbour and from the sounds of it there's more than one issue here that's for sure. I can understand how frustrated and anxious you must feel over this, you'll find a common understanding over this here on the forum.

    You can only 'blank' someone out so much before things like you're experiencing intrude into all areas of you life, making you miserable, jumpy and scared to go home again. How you feel is quite normal.

    So we can get a complete picture, may I ask you a few questions?

    -What complaints has the woman next door been specifically making?

    -When she 'threatened' you did she attempt to use physical/verbal abuse/violence too? (Physical and Verbal abuse are just as bad).

    -Have you started to log down all occurrences of 'nuisance' from her, whatever they are on diary log recording sheets? It adds up and tedious as it is, you must record all events. It's proof and backs you up too. We have some blank recording sheets you can access from the main site.

    -Obvious as it is , have you asked your neighbour to stop doing the behaviour which is upsetting you? You could write to her by letter if you feel you don't want to approach her in person. Even if she refuses to stop she then cannot claim that what she was doing, she didn't know was upsetting you and hence use that as a defence.

    -Have you contacted your Local Authority and asked the Environmental Health Dept for assistance about the noise issues?

    -Does the neighbour rent or own her property? If she rents, who from? (Private, HA, Council, etc).

    I'd like to point you in the direction of some really detailed help files we have if I can, if you've not seen them already. They outline what you can do and can't do in terms of what you're experiencing with your Neighbour From Hell (NFH).

    Noisy Neighbours & Noise Issues is here:

    Harassment from your Neighbour (certainly sounds like you are being harassed and bullied by her from your post) is here:

    Have a look through if you can and let us know if they relate to you and what you're living with, they both outline different steps you can take and use to take action which is formal and informal with your neighbour.

    I have to say though in the meantime if you are threatened or made to feel scared in any way or fear for your safety by this woman in the meantime, you mustn't hesitate to contact your local police. Even if they don't visit, ask them to record the incident formally.

    Hope this helps a bit and hope you come back often to the message boards, you'll find a lot of support and understanding here.



    • #3
      Hi Daney

      Welcome to the family

      I know that you will find the support and advice you need here and I'm sure that it will help you the way it has helped me, just knowing that someone actually understands what you are going through is one of the best things in the world



      • #4
        Hi Daney,

        I think a lot of members will empathise with the feelings of anxiety. If you suffer from it to start with then having a NFH such as yours can only make things ten times worse

        For now I would suggest you and your family log every incident down. Matthew has asked some very pertinent questions so I'll wait until your next post before I say any more.

        I think you'll find that just by being able to post on this site you will start feeling better. I think this site saved my sanity when I was really down about the local yobs You'll get a lot of support and advice from many members whose collective experience and their ways of dealing with things is invaluable

        "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


        • #5
          Hi All Thank You For your Warm Welcomes.

          Thank you Matthew for your Advice to.

          I'd just like to mention since posting up earlier ,i went and confronted my neighbour,I just couldnt help it something had to be said..After rolling my sleeves up and wearing my Angry head i Told her that I am not going to tolerate her anymore..I told her what i thought of her.She said she had had a bad day yesterday and i told her that because she has a bad day she has no right to take her problems out on us all the time, I also mentioned abouth her rudeness and arrogance since we moved here and how uncomfortable it has made us feel.My poor boyfriend who was meant to back me up,couldnt get a word in edge ways,Bless Him.

          Anyway i Said if she threatens me with anything else i will take things further.

          After i left i patted myself on my back .My bF was well shocked ,He has never seen me like this.

          Anyway i will keep you all posted as to whats happening and will be visiting the boards daily.

          Take Care All

          Daney xxxx


          • #6
            Good on you never know it might do the trick



            • #7

              Being new to nfh problems all I can say is take any advice given by Tristar,Matthew, Scooby, Misty, Sapphire and all the others who have more experience. They have helped my wife and I through many dark moments. We are still in battle zone but feel far better equipped to deal with what is happening.

              My nfh is a demented woman. No disrespect to all you lovely ladies on here, but reading postings, so many nfh seem to be mad women. Probably my paranoia!

              I admire your guts in confronting your neighbour. Hope it works - if not, personally I wouldn't try again. Been there, done that and failed!

              Best of luck to you and yours. Will keep up with your story.

              "You have to be the change you wish to see in the world"


              • #8
                hey Daney!

                NFH bring out the unexpected in all of us!

                I am quite a strong headed person but would never think of confrontion unless I was pushed to the limit.....which did happen one xmas eve!

                I work shift work in a residential home and was working the early on xmas day, well at 3:45am when the pounding music went on and didnt go off again I saw red!

                went start outside in my dressing gown and hammered on the door with Matthew not that far behind me with the phone in his hand just in case!

                I was greeted with "well if you cant have a bit of music on christmas day..."

                I jumped in and said something like "its not day its night and yet again you have woken us up!" then said something about her being rude and I have to work just because she doesnt work!

                I really shocked my self and Matthew that night, it want til after warsd I realised what danger I could of been in.

                please stay safe! :ban:


                • #9
                  Hi Again All.

                  I forgot to say that her language was terrible every other word was bad ,although i must admit,with being in a rage i said a few things i shouldnt of said. I realise it was dangerous fro me to confront her..but i was so wound up and had been awake most of the night.even my nightly tablet didnt do its job by sending me straight to sleep. The thing is she is buying her house and our house next door is rented privately by a landlord and for some reason she dosen't think its fair That we are renting and not buying(strange). I mean how petty can someone get? Ive also heard that another person in our street moved away across to the other side because she was so sick of her stirring trouble for her.

                  I suppose we can only take so much before we flip and that was enough for me.

                  I still dont trust her and i will keep you all posted as to anything that may happen.

                  It's True what John said how it always seems to be the women that are crazy and thats no offence to us women.. But i am determined not to let this insane woman ruin my life and the funny thing about it is she works as a carer..Try working that out because i certainly cant lol.

                  Good Luck to every one else with your NFH ,i know i should of dealt with this incident differently..but please be careful if anybody else approaches their neighbour in the way i did.

                  Take Care All



                  • #10
                    Hi Daney!

                    Nfh indeed! matthew has given very comprhensive advice! Everyone has added useful thoughts (hard to improve on comprhensive Matthew!).

                    Just because she's buying doesn't exempt her from noise pollution action by your Environmental Health dept. Of course, log every instance of noise nuisance in glorious(but concise) detail. The next instance of it, contact E.H. and start the ball have given her warning.

                    Well done by stunning her and confronting her, she was clearly taken aback. She will have a good idea now of what you will accept. Just as long as you feel safe doing so, carry on the good work. All power to you :nfh1:



                    • #11
                      Hi Daney,

                      Thanks for the update - don't blame you for confronting her and it sounds like you weren't alone either (e.g. partner with you). Just keep safe and have a witness with you wherever possible - your NFH seems pretty Jekyll & Hyde-ish!

                      Hope it quietens things down a bit in the NFH dept - and please come see us often on the forum


                      • #12
                        Hi Daney and welcome to the Forum

                        :angry: I know what it's like having to live with noise nuisance from a neighbour. It can completely disrupt your life. Well done for speaking to her .

                        There's nothing for me to add to Matthew's very comprehensive advice I hope you find it all useful.

                        It would help if you can answer some of the questions he asked though, as this may give us all a clearer idea of where you are at at the moment.

                        All the best