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  • A New Tale Of Woe Of Nfh

    Hello, everyone. This is blackmummy calling all other fellow sufferers from nfh out there.



    I was so relieved to find this website and forum, but you should warn you that at present I am said to be the nfh!



    I live with my husband and 8 year old son, who is severely autistic, in a Council-owned bungalow. Both my husband and I have long-term illnesses such as asthma and Chron's Disease, and I have a mobility problem. That is why we are in a bungalow. But that doesn't suit this neighbourhood, because they are all convinced Bungalows Are Only For Old People. We are not exactly in the first flush ofyouth ourselves, being in our 40's when our son (our first and only child) arrived.But it seemed all was loaded against us before we arrived, because our ever-loving Council told us their bungalows were really only for old people.



    This area is practically incestuous. Almost everyone is related to everyone else, and almost everyone who is in work works for the local Council, Social Services or health authority. And if you dare to ask for help from any of those authorities, and you're not one of the chosen few--God help you.



    The area is notorious for its crime and disorder, but not according to the occasional press releases (which are really spin of course) put out by the Council and the Police.



    5 years ago, my husband installed a CCTV system. Very Heath-Robinson; it was designed to help me supervise our son, who tends to be hyperactive, whilst hubby was at work. We can't see into anyone's rooms, and weren't interested in monitoring anyone else's movements. We didn't have street lights then, so hubby also put up security lights when our cars were repeatedly vandalised on our own (very small) driveway. And that's when it started.



    Not wanting to bore you all with all the sordid details, and the long and involved story which ensued, suffice to say that our security measures brought down the wrath of practically all the neighbours and their hangers-on upon our heads. It was nothing unusual to have neighbours parading outside at dead of night, shouting foul-mouthed abuse and telling us to take the lights down and/or that they were having those f*****g lights and cameras took down.



    We didn't always turn the other cheek. Who, if they are honest, can? Especially when their exeptionally vulnerable child is constantly woken up by the abuse, shouting, and the coming and going of large commercial vehicles in a very narrow crescent, making deliveries in the early hours of the morning of commodities not normally used by OAPs.



    Our son--and we with him--were practically driven out of our minds. He ended up having to have prescribed medication, but only after we had got ourselves very ill thought of by the medical profession. Unhappily, in this area at least, autism is not accepted as a genuine medical condition, and even when you get evidence from outside experts, it is ignored.



    Over the past 5 years, I have been accused of just about everything: child neglect/abuse; benefit fraud; harassing a disabled person(!) neglecting and abusing animals in my care, etc. Never (at least to the best of my knowledge) having been involved in any form of criminal activity in my life, I was all at sea. There was never any court case; everything always stopped short of that; and we never found out about the child abuse allegations for 3 years, until we finally got hold of part of our son's Social Work file. The allegations, which had been made by Housing Officers, one of whom had never even seen our child, mirrored exactly what had been shouted in the street by certain neighbours. That Housing Officer even claimed I had "a mental health problem" despite there being no such evidence anywhere on my medical records, either before or since.



    I have had the Benefit Fraud Investigator at my door, the RSPCA (4 times, and on one occasion after the Society itself had concluded that the report was "possibly malicious") and the Council has selected usas part of a minority group used for trials of anti-fraud legislation before it even came into force.



    Have we complained? Of course we have. We get absolutely nowhere. To cut a long story short, we have had to conclude that corruption is at work in this area, somewhere, and that all the key personnel (the entire area is run by one very small group of people who are on all the committees, etc.) are in it together.



    Yes, I have asked some very awkward questions, though I have never been a politically active person. I am still asking them, only I find that the closer I get to the crux of the matter, the more the parties involved refuse to answer me.



    Neighbours even got up a petition to have us evicted when the Council announced to the press that they were to be given the power to choose who lived in their street. We discovered the Petition only because one neighbour tipped us off. The Council refused to even answer us, yet we saw the officers go round and interview everyone--except us.



    We complained to the Local Government Ombudsman, who brushed it aside and slavishly accepted everything the Council said, despite our having produced documentary evidence which contradicted everything the Council said. We are trying to get the case re-opened, because certain little bits keep on coming to light.



    We have never attacked anyone; thrown paint into gardens; stones at windows; eggs on bungalow walls; screamed abuse; threatened anyone with violence or even had noisy parties or even played loud music. Our son's condition means he can get very noisy if he is upset, but there is nothing we can do about that--we would very much like to!



    We have retaliated when we have been abused, if we haven't been able to get out of the person's way. We have objected when our son has been repeatedly woken from his sleep. We are blamed by everyone if he does not sleep. They all seem to have their cakes and eat them as well, around here.



    We are not paragons of virtue. We are often tired and depressed because of our son's condition and our own. But we have never set out to provoke anyone or abuse them. We spend a lot of time and money keeping away from our own home, so our son can play in peace and we can talk to civil people. But of course that does not satisfy the ones we are surrounded with.



    They want us out, of course. It has been boasted about, often enough: funny we are still here, after 8 years? But they can never give a reason if challenged to produce one; just as they can't give examples of the harassment we are supposed to be subjecting them to. We can give countless ones of the harassment we have had dealt out to us over just the last year alone.



    It always seems to be worse if we are asking the Council for repair work, or Social Services for adaptations. These people always seem to know in advance what is going to be done, and when: we do not. Only one month ago, one neighbour was going to "wring your b***** neck" while two Council officers were here discussing essential repairs which hadbeen outstanding for--wait for it--five years. It was entirely unprovoked. She was also going to have me strung up; I was the biggest scrounger in the area, and I was supposed to have dragged our son across the garden by the scruff of his neck. She and her crony often announce in the street, when I and our son are on the garden, that they are going to the Welfare (child protection) about him and that they will get somewhere with it this time. One was going to have a bomb made and chuck it over our b***** fence.



    The fence was a very expensive, steel hairpin one, designed to keep our son in his garden. Being autistic, he climbs obsessively, has no sense of danger at all, and escapes from practically anywhere. We had battled for almost five years to get the fence put up, and our landlords, the Council had eventually slid out of the job by claiming we had put their contractors off, etc. Which was totally untrue, but no-one wanted to hear our side of it. Their own Planning Committee did everything they could to stop it happening, and all the Councillors were concerned about was the cost of the job and "is this really necessary?" with great contempt.



    We are sure neighbours were promised it would never be put up. The Council even wrote to neighbours who could not have been affected by the fence, asking if they wanted to object. And the neighbours from hell have been particularly active since the fene was put up in April this year. They make a point of watching our every movement, and even tell us we cannot come and go as we please. I could just about understand it if we came and went in the middle of the night, but our son's rest is too precious to us for that.



    When the neighbours themselves aren't obviously active, we get the yobs: several of whom are related to neighbours, of course. They stone the bungalow windows, yell abuse--even about things that should be known only to ourselves and the Council--wreck our lights and cameras, and even our son's Christmas lights, that he had chosen and paid for out of his own Christmas money, no mean feat for an autistic child. One yob even thumped my husband when he asked him why he was wrecking our driveway gates.



    The Police did nothing. They don't even turn up, half the time, even on a 999 call when an incident is in progress. One officer even lied to us about two neighbours whom he claimed had seen and heard nothing. One has now told us she did, andthat she gave him names and addresses of the offenders.



    When the most recent threats of violence were made, the Council officers who were present claimed they had heard nothing. But our CCTV microphone, which was further away from the offender than the officers were, did. Even the Police, who condescended to watch and listen to the tapes this time, agreed they had heard the threats for themselves, that it was harassment, and took a Statement.



    But guess what? It seems now that I am the one who is supposed to be doing all the harassing. The Police have demanded that I go to the Police Station--for all the world as if I am a suspect--and give a statement about all the incidents over the last 12 months. Note, only the last 12 months. They have not taken a statement from my husband, who was followed up to our local shop by the neighbour and abused there. They have not even taken a statement from our son's taxi driver, who takes him to his special school, though she has told them she is willing to give one and has witnessed several incidents herself. (The neighbours say they are going to get the taxi stopped from coming here.)



    The Police will not even tell me whether I am now a suspect or a witness. We have written to the Chief Constable, several times, without response. The local officers appear even to have a different agenda to that of HQ, and the ones who are demanding that I go and give this Statement are the very oneswho have openly supported this neighbour, against us, in the past. When she claimed my husband had deliberately tried to run her down in our car, one officer was so rude to me he told me to get inside and get a life, when I asked him why suddenly we were being accused again when we had never been involved in any criminal activity in our lives. Neither officer did anything about the neighbour's threat, voiced in their presence, that she was going to "get" me if I didn't shut my mouth, and that she meant it. Save that I don't know what I was supposed to have opened my mouth about. Not one word was said to her by either Police Officer, and she was still outside, laughing and shouting and dancing with cronies, an hour after the officers had left here. It was very, very embarassing and frightening, having to go out and close our gates.



    I am appealing to you because I just don't know where to turn. You may well think it really is we who are the aggressors in this. But it is everyone else who seems to have all the time and energy to do these things, not us



    I have tried asking a Solicitor, but all I got was the Police are lawa unto themselves and there's nothing we can do, especially if you are not a suspect. But am I? How am I supposed to know? And why do we have to keep on putting up with all this?



    We have a theory; it is only a theory, and that is that someone in the Council, with contacts in the Police and Social Services, is very anxious to stop me making some kind of effective challenge in the courts, which we were about to do abou tthe lack of repairs and adaptations. Everyone else's bungalow has been renovated. Ours is the only one whic h has not. The Council has claimed it is all our fault; but the only people they will not give this--or any other reason--to is ourselves.



    I am very sorry to put such a long message before you. It is just because I am desperate. We only want to go about our lawful daily business, no more, no less. It is so frightening to know that, whatever the law might say, someone is determined to stop us. There is no better weapon than defamation: there is always someone who will say there's no smoke without fire. But I always say"but who started the fire?"



    Please, please: is there anyone out there who can help? We are just about at the end of our tether.



    Best wishes to everyone, and I hope no-one else is going through quite the same as this. As I am writing, the yobs are back: yelling outside here, so far, but we just don't know what they will do next. Or any of the others.



    Blackmummy.

  • #2
    *GWEETINGS*



    HI Blackmummy.



    This is a very dire situation.



    Would it not be possible to get out of the hellhole which

    you live in.



    You are not getting anywhere with the police or the council.



    Your neighbours sound like lunatics from what i have read.

    It looks like a no win situation here.



    It would seem you live amongst a potential lynch mob.



    Move ASAP.



    Unless other members can suggest a better way.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Blackmummy,



      You seem to fighting an army there. Do you really have the strength to

      take this fightl on knowing your health is already bad? Try and look at the

      situation objectively (step back from it). Is the harassment and bad

      holistic well being of your home contributing to stress for ALL your family?

      You may be better off trying to find somewhere else to live.

      Taking on City Hall and the neighbours is a mammoth task.

      It will eventually take its toll on you.



      Is there any reason you can't move to another home?

      You will be much better off health wise if you do.

      If you have to stay where you are, the best thing would be not to

      antagonise anyone but just to hold your head up high and get on

      with life. Try and get some people to come to your house, even

      to sit outside and openly have a cup of tea with you and keep it

      all friendly looking. Make a mantra of "I refuse to be stressed".



      I too have been under severe threat and made to look like the baddy

      although if you look at the facts, my property is the only one that

      has been damaged and I have a dependent who has suffered badly

      because I didn't get out sooner. Try and weigh up the situation and

      think of all your family's well being.



      Melanie :nfh1:

      Comment


      • #4
        Don't they just have a way of turning things around on to you

        I cannot believe this and your son must be demented, as if life isn't hard enough for him.



        Personally if it was me I would fight this in one direction and that would be to get out of there!



        These people will never leave you alone because you are not dealing with just one family. :banghead:



        I am so very sorry that you can't live in peace.



        Idgy

        Comment


        • #5
          Hello Blackmummy,



          It made my eyes water to read your story - I am so sorry you and your family are having such a dreadful time of it.

          I am fairly new to the site and there are others who will give you good advice about practical ways of dealing with these scumbags.

          I just wanted to say that you aren't alone, the members on this forum will give you lots of support and understanding, and the advice pages of this site are very helpful.

          Good luck Blackmummy and remember, you have friends here who understand what you're going through.

          Mrs Bolshie
          BE BOLSHY - RECLAIM YOUR GARDEN!

          Comment


          • #6
            :sad: :cry:



            just when you think you might have heard it all, along comes an even more upsetting story!!! i cannot fathom why people can be so cruel to people with disabilities and children who need special care. it seems that you are in a very claustrophobic place where anything you do or say is magnified and the jealous NFH seize upon this: how dare you get something they cant have????

            because you have been assertive and have tried to get what your son is entitled to they think you are on the make. :angry: :angry:



            they obviously have no understanding of what it is like for you to live with an autistic child, and you will never be able to make them understand this. i do tend to agree with the other posters, perhaps you should move, but presumably with an autistic child this will be a dreadful upheaval for him? not to mention you will need to find a suitable property...so its not something you can just decide to do.



            basically i think a way has to be found of taking the heat of thsi situation. it might not be a bad thing to see the police, in sa far as you can explain to them you need a resolution to this problem and you want to live in peace and quiet from now on; what do THEY suggest you do about it???? can you take a sympathetic friend or relative with you when you go to the police to give you moral support and to also help you stay calm. maybe you should seek mediation, where everyone is given the chance to air their grievances and the decide on a course of action. clearly you cannot carry on living in a war zone like this :ban: :badmood: :badmood:
            http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif



            I decree today that life

            Is simply taking and not giving

            England is mine - it owes me a living

            But ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

            Oh, ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye ~ Morrisey/Marr




            Politics is Showbusiness for ugly people ~ Jay Leno



            I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullsh***ters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like ar*e-lickers. ~ Sir Alan Sugar



            "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." ~ Samuel Johnson



            The secret of success is the capacity to overcome failure ~ Noel Coward



            An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today ~ Laurence J. Peter



            Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine ~ Lord Byron



            Better bread with water than cake with trouble ~ Russian Proverb



            There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a cup of tea ~ Bernard-Paul Heroux



            Carpe Diem



            Give Yourself to It ~ Sue Gadenne

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi Blackmummy and welcome



              I read your story with mounting horror! Nobody should have to live in a situation like that, especially a vulnerable young child!! I am getting more and more angry as I hear more and more stories of young vulnerable children being abused by supposedly grown up NFH!! :angry:



              My first thought was that you should make a complaint against the police. They are obviously turning a blind eye to what is happening to you. You can find the Independent Police Complaints Commission website at: http://www.ipcc.gov.uk/ I have a feeling that if you informed your local Chief Constable that you were taking this action he might be more forthcoming with his replies to your letters!



              You are not the first person who has said on this site that the Local Government Ombudsman has let you down Hopefully you can get the case reopened.



              Does your son have a social worker? If so, could he/she help you?



              I'm sure I don't have to tell you to keep a diary of all the incidents that are happening to you. It's a sad fact that yours is not the first story I've heard of where a handicapped child is the recipient of ill feeling from elderly people. I have a friend who is a warden in a sheltered homes complex and she told me of a similar story that is happening to a young mother and child in her area.



              I wish I had more advice to give you But I'm sure other members will have some more really sound advice. My heart goes out to you



              Good luck



              Misty
              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

              Comment


              • #8
                arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! god people can be so vindictive.

                because you don't lie down and let people walk all over you - u are an 'agressor'.

                because you fight to get your entitlements - you are a 'scrounger'.

                because you took up the accomodation you were assigned by the council - you are being persecuted???

                its sounds to me like it is the people in your road who need to get a life... dancing & shouting conversations at the top of their voices??? scumbags

                you do need to get some visible support to get them back in their boxes tho...

                there are a lot of charitable and volutary organisations who work with children in the autistic spectrum so make contact with them and see if you can get some assistance / support / relief time - so you and hubby can spend time on your own in normal environments (ie. not in Loony lane) - go the cinema, have a swim - go for a drive. you need to get some balance back in your life.

                also try to get nominated to another housing authority / housing association outside of this area - using the HOMES scheme might help. ideally something detached with a secure garden for your little boy, not too far from services.

                put all your energy into getting another (better???) home - ... get in touch with a housing solicitor and see if you can get some proper advice .. or try CAB / Shelter. Always take it to the very top of the food chain - copy the Head of the Housing dept on all correspondance, and find out who is the most active councillor on disabled issues and approach them.

                Also your local MP, your GP and get in touch with the government ombudsman if you feel the council are not being helpful

                you can walk away from this lot - 8 years spent battling it out has not improved your situation one jot... so u need to move away and move on... & keep sane and happy for your little one????

                given your moniker/username... is there a chance there might be a racial issue as well .. if so the CRE (commission for racial equality) might be able to offer some help???

                i wish you all the bestxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi BM,



                  Well, that was a long one but, having read it through I think you have pointed the case out well.



                  Bungalows Are Only For Old People.


                  Oh yes and who said that - the old cronies no doubt ?



                  My mum bought her bungalow when she was 40 years old and I was bought up in a bungalow too so whats the problem ? There is no law which states that no-one under a certain age is not entitled to a bungalow.



                  It sounds like you live around people who have got too much time on their hands and too little to do other than ramming their noses into others buiness.



                  The Local Goverenment Ombudsman - well surprise surprise. You know you won't get anywhere with them - they are just another government quango that is paid for by the councils and government and unless the is of such strong proof that without doubt they have no option other than to find against a council - they won't. Its a fact - in my opinion it's a corrupt organisation.



                  The police - Okay right so they want you to go and have a chat with them and make a statement - why do you have to go to the Police Station then ? If they are going to take a statement why can they not come to your home to do it ? They did it with us and our NFH on the night he was arrested - they did not phone us up and say erm "Sorry to disturb you but you and Shaggy couldn't pop down to the station and give a statement". No of course they didn't they came out and had tea and biscuits while we gave them the information they wanted.



                  I think like Hadenough you will not get anywhere with your Chief Constable, so I am going to PM you after this and advise you to do the same as what I told Hadenough to do. As this is a public forum and as people can come and have wee look at what we write here without having to register and so on, this is a fairly safer option for me. I found it out by accident with Madhatter and it proved such a valuable line of contact that I have decided to keep it under my hat for those that really need it. Sorry if some of you are offended by this but, I make no apologies for it.



                  You also have issues under the Data Protection Act that your personal and private information is coming into the public domain you have a clear right to have that protected and the culprits brought before a disiplinary board. You have a clear right to privacy. I suggest you see a solicitor and ask them to deal with this on your behalf. I understand that the Human Rights Act might be able to help you here, but, on the basis that I am not up on this, I cannot help you.



                  Furthermore you are being generally harassed and this includes the use of charities (RSPCA) and other government bodies. You have a clear right of redress and only a solicitor can help you here.



                  In the meantime you will receive my PM - do follow the instructions through - you might get somewhere.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Blackmummy



                    Well it really seems that these people are not going to leave you alone...how dare they treat you like this, but then they seem to have they back up they need to get away with it



                    I too think that it would be better that you think about moving house. I know it's probably really hard for you to take this big step as it will not only disrupt your family's lives, but it will be a very big change for your son to come to terms with :sad: Even the slightest change can be a big thing to him and I truly understand this, but surely it would be better that he has a settled life, instead of this constant torment which is going on around him. If you are happy then he will be happy and I know that this is true.



                    Has your son got a social worker or link worker who can help you? Maybe they will not be in with your NFH and will be able to help with the situation! What about his school, do they have an Occupational Therapist who can get involved with your son's needs at home? How about contacting your local Child Protection League, they may also be able to help you with this situation?



                    Sorry to throw so much at you, but this one is a bit close to the heart for me :sad:



                    Take care

                    Tri

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi BM!



                      welcome,



                      ok first lets not think about who bungalows are meant for, or who is related to whom!



                      how do we sort this problem out?



                      firstly record every tiny incident, write it down, take pics &cctv and dictaphone if you can



                      then you ask a community police officer to come and visit you and your family, doesnt matter if you have had no joy with the police as yet, you need to be like a dog with a burst ball (as some one here would say) and dont let go :banghead:



                      show then the evidence, make them listen, and yes if you need to go to the top then do it.



                      I would as others have said contact your councillors and MPs, these people were elected by us to serve us, make them work for the money our council tax pays them!!

                      they dont do it for free you know!!!



                      I know Misty asked if you have a social worker, if you have they need to be working damn hard for you and your son, simple as that

                      you can always complain to socail services if you are not getting the service your son needs.



                      you could also look into getting an advocate for your son, some one who is impartail to the situation. advocates can have some clout when making/dealing with complaints (cloverleaf or people first are groups who might be able to help)



                      I really would look at asking for a house swap though



                      I hate to say this to people but your health is not worth the stress your nasty nasty NFHs are putting you through.



                      as holly always says "you have choices....stay and do nothing, stay and fight or get out while you are still sane"



                      its really up to you what you decide, what ever you do choose we will try and support you to the best of our ability



                      all the best

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        To everyone who has posted and emailed in support.



                        Thank you, THANK YOU!!




                        You don't (but maybe you do) know what this means to me. Yesterday I thought I had plumbed the depths. Today, I now realise that I am not after all alone. What a wonderful feeling, except that I feel deeply for what all of you are going through or have gone through. What is it with these morons? They have just got to be control freaks/eaten up by jealousy/not enough to occupy their tiny minds, etc.



                        Because we have just got the safety fence up after years of battling to get it, and for other reasons which I will go into later, we can't move house just now. We looked into it two years ago, but because our son has a Statement of SEN we have to stay in the same county, or start the whole process over again(and anyone with a child who has special needs will know how difficult it is to even get a Statement of SEN, never mind other help or support) and because it is the one thing which so far has had a positive result--our son is in one of the leading special independent schools in the country as a day pupil, paid for (horror of horrors according to our MP) by the LEA, we are reluctant to upset all that until we have started to make some progress in other directions.



                        We would have just the same, if not more, difficulty getting a bungalow elsewhere. Private landlords won't have you if you are on benefits, because of "benefit fraud" (there's nothing like being guilty until proven innocent is there?) and Councils really do like to keep their bungalows for old people. I even kept one Housing Application Form for NE Derbyshire because it said that. Disabled people under 65 were to be offered ground floor flats. Anyone who is a disabled parent under 65 with a child will know what discrimination is anyway.



                        What is worse, the hate and wheel-within-wheels would follow us. Allegations etc remain on file. And I mean to turn all this on its head. Our son will not be any better off elsewhere if we cannot live free of this there also. That is the main problem.



                        Social Services do NOT want to know. We have been trying: two OTs were actually present in our home when one neighbour started abusing John in the street. Like the Housing Officers, they couldn't get out fast enough, and refuse to get involved. Well, they will be. But of course it takes time. If they can accuse me (albeit behind my back) then they can't have their cake and eat it as well, if you see what I mean. The same goes for the Children's Social Worker, who recently closed our son's file as soon as I got the Disabled Parents' Network to phone up and ask if there had been any more child protection enquiries this Spring (there had, because the agencies SS approached had tipped me off) though SS denied all--again.



                        I am more than ever convinced, and so is my husband, that all this comes back in the end to a nasty little cartel of members of Housing, SS, HA and Police. Because I have been asking too many awkward questions. But if they hadn't been happy to let the hate campaign escalate for five years or more, we wouldn't be pushing for accountability now. To try and say (as they have in the past) that I have fabricated this and that and caused our son's problems--despite the professional evidence--is despicable in our view. But we know we are not alone in that: you only have to look at today's News about the parents who have been trying to sue SS and Doctors for negligent accusations of child abuse.



                        We are certain now they all want us to move, "voluntarily" so they can all wash their hands of everything and claim they were all right about us all along. Think about it. That is why the then Head of Legal Services (now Chief Executive without any legal qualifications) suggested my husband took down our CCTV system because it was a question of neighbour nuisance. Just think, they could then have all run amok, without our having any evidence at all, and they could have screamed also that I was not supervising our son when he was playing outside. They had already tried that one, but come unstuck because of the CCTV.



                        Yes, this area is rotten with corruption. So, we are sure, is the LGO and similar.



                        At the moment, we can't even get a solicitor to help. But now I know you are all out there and rooting for us, I can carry on.



                        Thanks again to everyone who is trying so hard to help and support us. It is so much appreciated. And I've even been given ideas I hadn't thought of, which is great when you think you have reached the end of the road because you have tried everything.



                        It's my birthday tomorrow, 1st August, and it's the big 50. There will be no partying; just some coffee and cake in a play area some distance away where our son can explode and we can sit down and chat with some friends (yes, we do have one or two!) there. At last, I feel I have something to celebrate after all.



                        So my very good wishes go out to you all tonight, and may you all find peace and help in your stand against NFH.



                        More later--and more positive, I hope. :P



                        Take care, everyone.



                        Blackmummy

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi Blackmummy



                          I certainly do know what you mean, when you say about changing County's...I did it a few years ago and had absolute hell trying to get all the support that my son and I needed. I know just how hard it can be to get the required adaptations etc. to your home. Thinking about it I can totally see where you are coming from, when you say that you don't want to move.



                          It will be a long hard road for you and if I can think of anything that may make it a little easier for you I will most definitely let you know My heart really does go out to you and I have been thinking about your story a lot since I read it earlier. I really do hope that knowing that you are not alone now will help. The people on this forum have done so much to help me feel better, and just by giving me their support



                          Have a really :birthday: tomorrow and I hope that you enjoy your coffee and cake in peace :cake: :bdaygrin:



                          Tri

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                          • #14
                            Hi Blackmummy



                            If you feel you have no choice except to stay, then all defamatory comments and unhelpful official responses need complaints in writing about them. Address to the Housing Manager/ Police Inspector, whoever's in charge of the department you are complaining to . Copy to Head of Housing (paid), and Chair of Housing committee(councillor), or Chief Constable. In your complaint letter, detail complaint, ask questions and ask for a response within, say 5 working days. Actually a copy of each organisation's Complaint's Procedure should lay this down.



                            If they fail to follow their own procedure, write detailing how they have failed to do so (quoting their own procedure at them).... then you can start on IPCC and the council's Chief Executive.



                            Requesting meetings to discuss response to your complaint(with someone taking minutes) may be useful, perhaps with you taking along someone for support.



                            I know this is only one angle, but Complaint's Procedures are there for them to break or follow. If they follow them correctly, you may get some positive outcomes. If they are broken, seek legal advice! This may still help get things done, as they may then have to redress the balance.





                            Good luck!



                            Sapph P.S. Have as Happy a Birthday as is possible

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                            • #15
                              Hi again Blackmummy



                              Isn't it amazing how finding one website can so boost your spirits? I am so grateful to Matthew and Beth for starting this site and for all the other members who have given me so much support and advice. Thanks people



                              I hope you have an enjoyable birthday and you get a respite from the NFH even for a couple of hours.







                              :birthday: :bdaygrin: :bdaysmile: :cake:



                              Misty
                              "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

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