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Ads' NFH Story [Moved]

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  • Ads' NFH Story [Moved]

    [Topic Moved to start new topic for ease of reading and replying!]

    Originally posted by ads@Nov 1 2002, 05:47 PM

    My Story,

    I don't think my experiences are as bad as most but they have still left me very angry and bitter.

    We moved in April to what we thought at the time was a dream home a cottage in a rural village, surrounded by countryside, that was until a view months ago . Three members of a particular family who live about 50 - 75 yards away were released from prison. Since then the village has a living nightmare, and regularly throughout the night and early hours we have to put up with constant banging, shouting and damaged property. The guilty parties regularly drunk or drugged.

    I have approached the individuals and even on one occasion, had their mother pay for damaged made to my front door but little has changed and may have even made us more of a target.

    I feel very foolish and intimidated by these youths (15-18) now and don't feel like I want to approach them anymore which is stupid as I am a grown man and an ex-serviceman and that but feel absolutely powerless and alone.

    We have approached both the council and police with little affect to date, and what I thought was a ray of hope when a neighbourhood watch scheme was set up, was then shot down in flames when I spoke about the issue to the co-coordinator, he replied that's the cross you have to bear for living across the road from the family.

    Yesterday my wife sent a firing email to the local police officer, council and MP expressing her desperation and insecurities of what was going on in the village and enclosed a news article highlighting that this had been reported a year ago and nothing has changed.

    Surprising us one night our local police officer turned up and we had a good chat and discussed the email that my wife had sent, he said they were striving to change things but with only 3 police officers for the whole area it was difficult. That didn't make me feel any better and I can only live in hope.

    The good thing about that night was the police officer patrolled the village and guess what no trouble, we had not seen a police patrol since we have moved here.

    To this all end we have decided that what ever happens we are going to sell the house whatever as soon as we can what ever the expense as the expense on our quality of life is greater. I am sorry if it sounds like a whinge and thank you for giving me the opportunity for putting my point across.
    Hi Ads,

    First off, welcome to the new forum - it's good to have you here, and hey, you are not whingeing, just telling us as it is! Besides, if you feel the need to whinge, then your in the right place, anytime!!

    I can see why your angry - I would be too. Your situation seems such, that your whole community (or a considerable part of) is experiencing the selfish and criminal activities of these three teenagers you've talked about. But, I would say, why should you move? It's your house, you have a right to be there, to live in peace and quiet and to enjoy where you now live - it's a fundamental right and entitlement.

    I'm very dissapointed at the reaction you got from the neighbourhood watch co-ordinator - what a cheek! "Cross you have to bear" indeed!

    Is the co-ordinator simply saying then, that "oh, it's OK, it's that family, they are well known for causing trouble and so we can't do anything and leave them to it" or that kind of attitude? Is this co-ordinator worried about standing up to these anti-social individuals for fear of repercussion? All the more reason to do something about it - why should you have to move after finding your perfect (obviously, apart from mentioned individuals!) home because of this?

    Saying that though, I do see your point, I agree, you are always more important than material possessions (in this case, your property). Your well-being and health always surpasses anything and is more important.

    Have you managed to discuss the issue with any other Neighbourhood Watch members? What are their feelings about it? Do you think it's because you are fairly new to the area (you said April you'd moved) you are getting this totally unacceptable reaction from the "locals"? (e.g. NW co-ordinator).

    Sorry about all the questions, I'm just trying to get into your situation a little more!

    It doesn't matter how old your NFH are - we all feel intimidated I can tell you, we all feel scared, we all feel pressured and we all feel unable to relax and enjoy our own homes and property because of these anti-social individuals, this is honestly a common feeling, don't put yourself down for having it. You didn't ask for this, you don't deserve it and you should never feel guilty for asking for help about it and trying to stop it.

    Lets hope that the Police can have a little more presence in your area after the night patrol you recently had.

    Best Wishes,


  • #2
    Hi Ads,

    you are not alone in this situation, "youths" are a real problem in a lot of areas and these days they seem so cocky are sure of themselves. Community values do not seem to be important to them at all... maybe they are not taught them or they do not have good role models in their lives.

    What ever the reason some kids seem to have little or no respect for anyone but them selves.

    From your posting I get an automatic feeling that the neighbor hood watch guy is terrified of them himself.

    Does nt want to antagonise them due to reprocussions he may receive from them...Matthew and I felt the same why about our NFH....always waiting for that brick to come through the window.

    If I was in your situation I think I would record every detail of events.. quoting them if they threaten you and make a log of their actions against you and any property....


    The more evidence you have the better

    Everyone here has suffered in some way.. you are not alone, one of our special talents is being patient while members vent their splens!!


    It's amazing how much better you can feel when you get it off your chest!!

    Hope you have a quiet weekend


    • #3
      May I first thank you all for your support and advice, I wasn't expecting such a reaction as everything I have done to date seems to have fallen on deaf ears.

      Matthew, even though we have joined the neighbourhood watch, no meetings have yet been established so I haven't been able to express my views other than to the co-coordinator, who I have since discovered to my disbelief, is also my local parish councillor,but given the opportunity I will.

      As I have said I did have a rather frank discussion with my village police officer and he was very honest and did say he would do all that he could, and he has my full support. But this is where the facts speak for themselves, only 3 full time officers covering a worryingly huge area, at night this drops down to 1 occasionally being supported by a special constable. This doesn't still me with confidence and by the time they arrive everyone has gone.

      I will take on board your comments and suggestions, making a conscious effort to keep a record of events, taking photos could be a bit more difficult as it mostly occurs at night or the twilight hours of the morning.

      I don't think, my wife will change her mind she has lost her trust in people and finding it difficult to sleep properley. She wants to sell the house and move away closer to family, but we will see.

      May I again thank you all for your assistance this site alone has helped, simply giving me a chance to express myself.

      Best Regards



      • #4
        Hi Ads,

        I'm glad you got some help from the replies you've had here to your problem - and I hope they've been of some use in helping to feel like your actively "trying to do something" against your particular NFH. Sometimes, it's a real boost to know you're actually being pro-active in trying to positively influence a personal NFH situation, even if it's a long (and tiring!) path.

        I'm sorry to hear your wife has been having trouble sleeping. I can relate to this when we had NFH (couple no. 2) earlier this year - unfortunately, the more you have trouble, the harder it becomes to sleep and your pattern is severely disrupted. You can become jumpy, very sensitive and very 'allergic' to any noise or events that may happen out of the norm.

        As Angela said, trust is so easy to lose and it's a very common occurence, we've seen lots of similar stories on the NFH message board from other people and it makes it so hard to trust someone new - even if you do move, it will be in the back of your mind "what if it happens again", "will we be able to cope", etc.

        I hope both of you are well and I wish you all the best in dealing with these NFH.

        Let us know when and if you get to go to a NW meeting ok! Keep us updated when you can.




        • #5
          My wife recently recieved a reply to her email which seems to indicate some form of progress or at least acknowledgement ... we will see!

          Dear Mrs ..........,

          Your e.mail message of 31 October to .......... Council was forwarded

          to me as I am the Community Safety Officer at ........... Council, and

          in this role I work in close partnership with the Police and County

          Council. I therefore referred your message on to my Police colleagues,

          and I understand that the local police officer, called on you

          that same evening, and took details relating to the problems that you have

          been experiencing. I can confirm that he is continuing his investigations

          into the situation, and when he has collected all the facts we will be

          calling a meeting of all the agencies who may have a useful part to play in

          tackling the problem ( if it persists), so that we can work together.

          I would re-iterate the advice given to you by PC ....... that it is really

          important that you report all incidents of this nature to the police. In

          this way we can gather evidence and information about the extent and

          frequency of the problem and this in turn will assist us, and ensure that

          the most appropriate and effective action is taken.

          I have put a copy of the Community Safety Partnership strategy in the post

          to you today. This gives a brief outline of the work which we aim to do by

          working with other agencies, both statutory and voluntary, to tackle the

          key areas of concern which were highlights in our recent audit.

          Please do not hesitate to contact me, either to discuss any aspect of the

          work of Partnership, or to inform me that the problems you have been

          experiencing in ............... are continuing.

          Community Safety and Health Officer


          • #6
            Hi Ads,

            Glad your hanging on in there and that response looks encouraging. I can't understand people that volunteer for 'community roles' unless they intend to take it seriously and do the best they can (like I sincerely hope you NHW Co-ordinator hopefully is). I suppose for some people, it's just a 'power trip' a feeling of authority/superiority, etc.....who knows.

            It's sad sometimes, that we have to be a 'nuisance' and 'hassle' people to get things done, but hey, if it's the only way, I'm very much all for it!

            Let us know how things go...



            • #7
              Just a little update, well we haven't heard anything from any of the authorities to date though we understand how busy they must be, the neighborhood watch scheme seems to have gone flat and no meetings have been scheduled as yet ... odd since it is newly set up ... so it's still a case of sit and wait for the moment ... The good news is that the spate of poor weather has bee a great deterrent in keeping the un-desirables off the streets, sorry all but I pray it continues, I'm enjoying the peace selfish I know.

              The house has now gone up for sale and we are looking forward to moving, a shame I know but I dont fancy waiting till summer for it all to start over again.

              Best Regards,



              • #8
                Hi Ads

                How you doing?! Nice to see you.....

                It's selfish to enjoy peace?!!! I don't think so! No, seriously, enjoy it for as long as you can keep hold of it!

                I'm sorry to hear your selling up and I hope you sell the house quickly if that's what you've decided to do. One question, will you have to declare (legally) in your case, the NFH problems you've had to potential sellers?

                Don't answer that if it's too nosey of me ok, I won't be offended

                As for the NHW scheme - PAH! I'd start my own in opposition! That would soon shake them up!

                Hope you both are ok,



                • #9
                  Hi Ads, what a truly awful time you've had! I can relate to a number of things you've said, eg, losing trust in people, sleep problems. And your NW doesn't seem to be too hot either (understatement).

                  I remember my neighbour tried to get a NW going here. He invited everybody and had the local community bobby come around as well. Three old ladies who attended were verbally abused by yobs as they walked into our "green" and when the meeting finished the policeman found his car had been egged! Our MP organised a meeting for the whole estate and the police informed everybody that there was an adequate police presence. They looked a bit foolish when the MPs secretary's car window was smashed and her radio stolen and she had to wait around for an hour and a half for the police to arrive!

                  I realise it will be difficult for you, selling your home and moving somewhere else, let's pray you find good neighbours wherever you go. I think you've fought a good fight and its just a pity other people weren't there to support you. Hope everything works out for you, take care
                  "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                  • #10
                    Havent updated for a while, should have known the peace would only last so long, things are not as bad as they were but the neighbourhood watch scheme has come to nothing, though I got a nice sticker for my window. To add to everything my parents now seem to have nfh problems.

                    Merry Christmas & Happy New Year,



                    • #11
                      I can see you banging your head against the nearest wall!!

                      some people are just s***s,

                      it is so infuriating when people carry on regardless of other peoples sanity!!

                      (feeling very cross for you)

                      I hope your parents problems and yours decline rapidly and 2003 is more peaceful


                      • #12
                        Hello All,

                        Well things arent getting any better, How the country has changed for the worse in such a short time.

                        Bye for now


                        • #13
                          Sorry to hear your problems haven't gone away, ads

                          My dad always told me that if you want action go to the top. Have you thought of writing a letter to the Chief Constable? It might not do much good but you never know. I wrote to our Chief Constable about an old lady who was going through hell from the local yobbery. It seemed to do the trick, although the fact that it could have been seen as a racial matter may have swayed the police (Her late husband was Jamaican).

                          I know they are always saying they are under-resourced but the police inspector that I spoke to told me to report everything, that way they get a picture of an area and might be able to get some more resources in to combat the problems.

                          Hope things quieten down soon.

                          "Almost anything you do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. You must be the change that you wish to see in the world." Gandhi


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by ads@Jan 17 2003, 8:46 PM

                            Hello All,

                            Well what a happy new year its turned out to be, appears the nuisance element has got worse, they are as noisy as ever and go round openly bragging about the burglaries they commit.

                            My wife has emailed the police to view here conceans, but they do nothing, yes thier under resourced and all the rest, but I do feel bitter considering the amount of tax I pay year by year. for what !

                            How has this country changed so badly in such a short time,

                            Well thank you NFH forum for letting me air again.

                            Bye for now
                            Hi Ads,

                            what a nightmare. I think what makes things worse is the feeling of frustration that nothing seems to be done about it.

                            As for this country, I have said before , we are going to the dogs!!

                            In the UK 2003 you can now burgle houses without fear of being sent to prison, yet can be jailed for non payment of a parking fine!!!

                            makes you wonder!!

                            keep us posted!!

                            "Take off and nuke the site from orbit- it's the only way to be sure!"

                            apologies if you are an "Aliens" fan

                            Posh Noodle - NOT for the likes of YOU!!


                            • #15
                              Hi Ads,

                              Good to see you and I hope you both had a decent Xmas/New Year. Sorry to hear of these ongoing problems still Honestly, even after obviously bragging about their burgalaries they still can't be touched? Typical!

                              Are you still planning/attempting to move? Hope it's going smoothly in that department

                              Look after both of yourselves.